電郵成為被動(dòng)攻擊型同事的武器

　　When Ray Tomlinson, the man credited with theinvention of email, died 10 days ago, all sorts ofpeople saw it as an excuse to complain about howhis creation has messed up our office lives. It hasprevented us getting things done, fried our brainsand taught us to go on working even when in bed.

　　3月5日，當(dāng)被譽(yù)為“電郵之父”的雷•湯姆林森(RayTomlinson)去世時(shí)，各色人等都把這當(dāng)做一個(gè)借口，抱怨他的發(fā)明搞砸了我們的辦公室生活。它阻止我們完成任務(wù)，讓我們的大腦崩潰，并促使我們即使躺在床上也要繼續(xù)工作。

　　I have a different accusation to level at email — it has made us all passive aggressive. Ithas encouraged us to sulk, to be falsely polite, sneaky and obstructive. It has stifled debateand made office life more stultifying and aggravating than it has ever been.

　　對(duì)于電郵，我有不同的指控，它讓我們都形成被動(dòng)攻擊型人格。它鼓勵(lì)我們生悶氣、假模假樣的禮貌、愛耍花招和作梗。它扼殺了辯論，讓辦公室生活變得空前單調(diào)乏味和令人惱火。

　　Last week I sent a longish, careful message to someone who had come up with a proposal Ididn’t agree with. All day I heard nothing, and then when I was at home making supper thatevening, my phone bleeped.

　　上周，我向某人發(fā)送了一封篇幅較長(zhǎng)、措辭謹(jǐn)慎的郵件，此人的一個(gè)提議是我不認(rèn)同的。整整一天我都沒有聽到任何回音，接著，當(dāng)我那天晚上在家做晚飯時(shí)，我的手機(jī)響了。

　　The reply consisted of one word: Noted. This was the perfect passive aggressive response.It was just about polite enough for me to have no legitimate grounds for complaint. It shutdown the discussion, and left me with only one sensible course of action — to pour myself alarge glass of wine and seethe.

　　回復(fù)郵件只有一個(gè)詞：知道了。這是一種完美的被動(dòng)攻擊型回復(fù)。它勉強(qiáng)足夠禮貌，讓我沒有任何正當(dāng)理由去抱怨。它終結(jié)了討論，使我只有一條理智行動(dòng)的出路：為自己倒一大杯紅酒，讓自己強(qiáng)壓住怒火。

　　Email alone didn’t make the office passive aggressive — we were going that way anyway. Itall started a couple of decades ago, when the four great forces of modern office life — politicalcorrectness, HR, PR and litigiousness — ruled that it was no longer acceptable to lose yourrag. As working life remained at least as enraging as it always was, all anger, resentment andhostility were pushed underground, re-emerging in the even nastier form of passiveaggression.

　　電郵本身不會(huì)讓辦公室變得被動(dòng)攻擊——我們本來就在朝那個(gè)方向發(fā)展。它開始于20年前，當(dāng)時(shí)現(xiàn)代辦公室生活的四大力量(政治正確、人力資源、公關(guān)和動(dòng)輒訴訟)意味著，發(fā)脾氣是不可接受的。由于職場(chǎng)生活至少像以往那樣令人惱火，因此所有的憤怒、憎恨和敵意都轉(zhuǎn)到了表面下，以更惡毒的被動(dòng)攻擊形式重新浮現(xiàn)。

　　At around the same time, we were introduced to email. At first, we saw it as a way of ventingthe rage that we could no longer show in person, and sent each other furious rants in blockcapitals. After a bit, people realised there was a problem with this. Anger doesn’t usually lastbut an angry email lasts forever. Now anyone who shows even the slightest ill humour in anemail is deemed to have done something far less socially acceptable than breaking wind inpublic. They are likely to be punished by having their rage exposed and shared by everyonewith an internet connection.

　　大約是在同時(shí)，電郵進(jìn)入我們的生活。起初，我們把它視為發(fā)泄無法當(dāng)面表達(dá)的內(nèi)心憤怒的一種方式，用大寫字母互相發(fā)送憤怒的咆哮語句。過了一段時(shí)間，人們發(fā)現(xiàn)這么做是有問題的。憤怒通常不會(huì)持續(xù)很久，但憤怒的電郵會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)存在?，F(xiàn)在，如果有人在電郵中流露出哪怕一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的壞脾氣，就會(huì)被認(rèn)為做了一件大逆不道的事情，其被社會(huì)認(rèn)可的程度遠(yuǎn)低于在公共場(chǎng)合放屁。暴露自己的憤怒并通過互聯(lián)網(wǎng)分享給所有人的人，很可能會(huì)吃虧。

　　While email is ill-suited to overt rage, it is perfect for communicating hostility passively,without getting caught. The first trick is silence. This is the easiest, most deniable and mosteffective passive aggressive ploy there is. All unwelcome emails can be simply ignored.Someone wants you to do something? Don’t reply. An email that is hard to write? Don’t write it.

　　盡管電郵不適合表達(dá)明顯的憤怒，但它是被動(dòng)表明敵意、而且不會(huì)被抓住把柄的絕佳方式。第一個(gè)訣竅是沉默。這是最容易、最可否認(rèn)且最有效的被動(dòng)攻擊手段。所有不受歡迎的電郵都可以索性被忽略。有人想讓你做點(diǎn)事?不要回復(fù)。郵件很難寫?干脆別寫了。

　　The upshot of so much silence is devastating. Far from speeding work up, it slows it down. Itmeans that the most comforting axiom for office workers — “no news is good news” — doesnot apply any more. Now no news could be very bad news indeed. Maybe you are about to befired. Or maybe the person is just busy. You will never know, so you will always worry.

　　這么多沉默的結(jié)果是毀滅性的。它不會(huì)提高工作速度，反而會(huì)阻礙工作。它意味著，最讓辦公室員工安心的格言(沒有消息就是好消息)已不再適用。如今，沒有消息實(shí)際上可能是非常糟糕的消息?；蛟S你即將被炒魷魚。又或許對(duì)方只是很忙。你永遠(yuǎn)無法知道，因此你會(huì)一直擔(dān)心。

　　Failing silence, the next best passive aggressive trick is extreme brevity, of the sort I wassubjected to last week. Noted. OK. Fine. Thanks. Again the hostility can always be denied.Maybe the person genuinely thought your message fine. Or maybe they hate you. Not knowingis not pleasant.

　　如果做不到沉默，退而求其次的被動(dòng)攻擊訣竅是極度簡(jiǎn)潔，就像我上周遇到的那種。知道了。OK。好的。謝謝。同樣，這種敵意總能被抵賴?；蛟S這個(gè)人真的認(rèn)為你的郵件不錯(cuò)。又或者對(duì)方恨你。不了解實(shí)情的感覺令人不爽。

　　Copying bosses into emails is a gift for passive aggressive workers everywhere. In the olddays you had to go out of your way to grass someone up, but now all it takes is two innocuouslittle letters: cc.

　　把老板抄送到郵件里是被動(dòng)攻擊型員工獲得的一份禮物。過去，你必須費(fèi)盡心機(jī)才能出賣某個(gè)人，如今，你需要的只是兩個(gè)無關(guān)痛癢的小字母：cc。

　　Passive aggressive email is also perfect for passing the buck. It is no longer acceptable tosay “do so and so” to a colleague — as we all have to pretend everyone is equal — whichmeans power is exerted passively by ending emails with “thanks in advance” or “I’ll leave itwith you”.

　　被動(dòng)攻擊型電郵還是踢皮球的絕佳方法。跟一位同事說“這么做，再這樣做”不再可接受，因?yàn)槲覀兌疾坏貌患傺b大家都是平等的，這意味著，通過在電郵結(jié)尾寫上“先說聲謝謝”或“那就麻煩你了”，權(quán)力就被動(dòng)施展出來了。

　　Even more annoying are emails that end, “Happy to discuss”. This almost certainly means: “there is no point in discussing as the decision has been taken”. Worse, is “Let me know if thatmakes sense”, which might be straight or might mean “You’re an idiot. I have no interest inwhat you think.”

　　更令人煩惱的是電郵結(jié)尾寫著“樂意討論”。它的意思幾乎肯定是：“已經(jīng)做出了決定，討論毫無意義”。更糟糕的是，“如果這聽上去有道理的話，請(qǐng)告訴我”，這可能是大白話，也可能意味著“你是個(gè)白癡。我對(duì)你的想法沒興趣。”

　　Although all passive aggressive messages are by nature deniable, a good trick for spottingthem is when they come with unnecessary politeness. The more someone admits to being “alittle surprised” the more incandescent they probably are. When a sender who usually signs offwith the uncharming “rgds”, types out “with my very best regards”, you are almost certainly introuble.

　　盡管所有被動(dòng)攻擊型郵件顧名思義都可被抵賴，但辨識(shí)它們的一個(gè)很好的方法是它們往往帶著不必要的客套。人們?cè)匠姓J(rèn)“有一點(diǎn)意外”，他們的情緒就越可能激烈。如果某個(gè)發(fā)件人通常會(huì)在結(jié)尾處寫上毫無吸引力的“祝好”，今天卻寫出了“致以我最美好的祝愿”，那么幾乎可以肯定的是你有麻煩。

　　Sometimes it is possible to respond to passive aggression in kind. I have recently beenignoring a request to do something, which prompted first “a gentle reminder” and then thegloriously passive aggressive question: “Is your internet down?”.

　　有時(shí)，我們可以用同樣的方式來回應(yīng)被動(dòng)攻擊。我最近沒有理會(huì)一個(gè)讓我做些什么的要求，這先是招致了“一個(gè)友情提醒”，接著招致了一個(gè)典型的被動(dòng)攻擊型問題：“你的網(wǎng)斷了嗎?”

　　In case the sender is reading my column, let me assure her that it’s not down. I just don’twant to reply. Fortunately, in newspaper columns you can still say what you think. In email it isno longer possible.

　　如果這位發(fā)送人在閱讀我的專欄，我向她保證我的網(wǎng)絡(luò)沒有斷。我只是不想回復(fù)。幸運(yùn)的是，在報(bào)紙專欄，你仍可以說你所想。在電郵中，就不可能再這樣了。