What is the exchange of gifts 什么是禮尚往來
In the social sciences, a gift economy (or gift culture) is a society where valuable goods and services are regularly given without any explicit agreement for immediate or future rewards (i.e. no formal quid pro quo exists). Ideally, simultaneous or recurring giving serves to circulate and redistribute valuables within the community. The organization of a gift economy stands in contrast to a barter economy or a market economy. Informal custom governs exchanges, rather than an explicit exchange of goods or services for money or some other commodity.
Various social theories concerning gift economies exist. Some consider the gifts to be a form of reciprocal altruism. Another interpretation is that social status is awarded in return for the gifts. Consider for example, the sharing of food in some hunter-gatherer societies, where food-sharing is a safeguard against the failure of any individual's daily foraging. This custom may reflect concern for the well-being of others, it may be a form of informal insurance, or may bring with it social status or other benefits. Because of the (future) benefit that is received from these actions, gift economies are still based upon trade, but without explicit returns from exchanges.
A gift economy normally requires the gift exchange to be more than simply a back-and-forth between two individuals. This notion of expanding the circle can also be seen in societies where hunters give animals to priests, who sacrifice a portion to a deity (who, in turn, is expected to provide an abundant hunt). The hunters do not directly sacrifice to the deity themselves.
Many societies have strong prohibitions against turning gifts into trade or capital goods.
Additionally, in some kinds of gift economies, gift recipients are expected to give something in return, such as political support, military services and general loyalty, or even return gifts and favors. This was common in warrior societies where kings and chieftains gave freely to their followers and could expect their loyal service in return. Such systems have social sanctions built in to punish freeloaders or miserly chiefs. A default punishment would be to halt gifts or services from one party to the alleged party in wrong. Typical sanctions might also include a bad reputation, formal eviction from the lord's hall, a challenge to a duel, or public ridicule.
禮尚往來(the exchange of gifts)是指互通有無(mutual exchange of needed products),在禮節(jié)(courtesy)上重視有來有往,現(xiàn)也指以同樣的態(tài)度來對(duì)待對(duì)方。"尚 "意為注重。
與"禮尚往來"相關(guān)的故事:春秋時(shí)期(the Spring and Autumn Period),孔子(Confucius)在家收弟子開壇講學(xué)(give lectures),引起了魯定公的重視,經(jīng)常到宮中講學(xué)。季府的總管(general director)陽(yáng)虎特地去看望孔子,孔子借故不見他。他知道孔子最講究禮尚往來的,一次,特地給孔子留下一只烤乳豬,終于得到孔子的回訪。
禮作為一種社會(huì)行為(social behavior)的規(guī)范,倡導(dǎo)了人與人之間的交往,而以禮的方式來交往,便會(huì)增進(jìn)人情,增進(jìn)社會(huì)的凝聚(cohesive force)。所以,禮物是一種以禮行為的規(guī)范物,目的是為了社會(huì)的整合。在送禮這樣的日常行為中,人際行為就被社會(huì)規(guī)范化(standardization)了,不會(huì)送禮,變成了不會(huì)做人,最后形成好像是只講人情(human relationship)的文化。當(dāng)禮品不是自然真情的容器,反倒成了應(yīng)有之情的容器時(shí),就會(huì)變得包裝精美,腹中空空。
Naturally, there should be mutual concession and there should be reciprocity.
自然,雙方都要作些讓步,并且要禮尚往來。
Mere friendly politeness required that he should call to see Dorothea about the cottages.
單單從禮尚往來說,他也應(yīng)該為村舍的事找一下多蘿西婭。
As for Michaelis, he was perfect, exactly the same melancholic, attentive, aloof young fellow of the previous evening, millions of degrees remote from his hosts, but laconically playing up to them to the required amount, and never coming forth to them for a moment.
至于蔑克里斯呢,他毫不露出破綻,完全和昨天晚上一樣,憂郁,專心而又冷漠,和主人主婦像遠(yuǎn)隔得幾百萬(wàn)里路似的,只和他們禮尚往來著,卻不愿自獻(xiàn)殷勤。
We gave the Smiths a bottle of gin last Christmas, so this year they gave us a bottle of Scotch to even things up a bit.
去年圣誕節(jié)我們送給史密斯家一瓶杜松子酒,今年他們禮尚往來,給我們送了一瓶蘇格蘭威士忌酒。
Courtesy on one side only lasts not long.
單方面的禮貌不會(huì)持久。
Their frequent invitation places us under an obligation to invite them to our house for a change.
他們經(jīng)常邀請(qǐng)我們,我們只好禮尚往來邀請(qǐng)他們到我們家。
Propriety suggests reciprocity. It is not propriety not to give out but to receive, or vice versa.
禮尚往來。往而不來,非禮也;來而不往,亦非禮也。
The exchange of gifts is a traditional Chinese thought, which is carried on till now.
禮尚往來是中國(guó)的一種傳統(tǒng)思想,這種思想一直沿襲至今。
The traditional meaning of exchanging of gifts has changed in modern society.
禮尚往來的意思在現(xiàn)代已經(jīng)發(fā)生了變化。
Mary refused to tell Taylor the reason, as the Chinese saying goes, Taylor won't tell Mary the way to settle down the issue.
瑪麗不告訴泰勒事情的原因,禮尚往來,泰勒也不會(huì)告訴瑪麗解決問題的方法。
During holidays, we always receive lots of blessing short messages from our friends, and we'll reply these messages in return.
過節(jié)的時(shí)候經(jīng)常會(huì)受到很多朋友的祝福短信,禮尚往來我們也會(huì)回復(fù)他們。
Many foreigners regard the Chinese traditional culture of exchanging of gifts as strange behavior.
很多外國(guó)朋友認(rèn)為中國(guó)禮尚往來的習(xí)俗很奇怪。
In Chinese point of view, exchange of gifts show the mutual respect and adoration among people.
在中國(guó)人看來,禮尚往來表現(xiàn)了人們之間的相互尊重和喜愛。
Part 3 Let's Talk! 開始交流吧!
Collins: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated me. But there is something I can never figure out!
科林斯:這是我第一次來中國(guó),這里的許多事情都令我非常著迷。但是有些事我搞不明白。
Wang Yang: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.
王洋:怎么了?有什么讓你感到困惑,說出來看看我能不能幫你。
Collins: Good! You turn up so timely! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? "No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite!" can you believe it?
科林斯:太好了!你的出現(xiàn)太及時(shí)了!我正想尋找一些好的解釋呢。有一天我的中國(guó)朋友慶祝他的生日,所以我就問他喜歡什么樣的生日禮物。你知道他說什么嗎?"不不,不要給我買任何東西,不要那么客氣!"你相信嗎?
Wang Yang: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy. And they don't want their friends "pofei" which means to spend money. Or maybe he refuses you just because he doesn't want to buy your gift in return.
王洋:說實(shí)話我相信。這是中國(guó)人表達(dá)謙遜和保守的方式。但是大部分人并不是真的拒絕,除非強(qiáng)烈地堅(jiān)持。中國(guó)人通常不會(huì)輕易接受別人給予的東西,除非他為送禮的人做過事情或者關(guān)系十分親密。他們不希望他們的朋友"破費(fèi)",意思是花錢。又或者他們拒絕你僅僅是因?yàn)椴幌攵Y尚往來。
Collins: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?
科林斯:你說的拒絕接受我的禮物是什么意思?
Wang Yang: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being "polite". He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend you.
王洋:我認(rèn)為他不是真的拒絕接受你的禮物。只是表示禮貌的一種方式。他并不是無禮更不會(huì)有意冒犯你。
Collins: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?
科林斯:那么,你怎么認(rèn)為呢?你覺得在這種情況下我應(yīng)該怎么說或怎么做呢?
Wang Yang: In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him.
王洋:在這種情況下我建議你堅(jiān)持,如果你的朋友年紀(jì)較大,你可能需要堅(jiān)持多次,但即使是這樣或許你也不會(huì)得到明確的答復(fù)?;蛟S你可以直接買個(gè)禮物而不和他說。我認(rèn)為他對(duì)于你買的任何禮物都會(huì)很滿意。
Collins: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?
科林斯:所以你的意思是只要買了禮物就好,對(duì)嗎?
Wang Yang: I think so.
王洋:我是這么認(rèn)為的。
Collins: But what shall I do if he doesn't like exchange of gift?
科林斯:但是如果他不想禮尚往來我該怎么辦呢?
Wang Yang: In that case, you should not send him gift, or it will become a burden for him.
王洋:如果是這種情況,你就不要送他禮物,否則就會(huì)成為他的負(fù)擔(dān)。
Collins: I know, thank you.
科林斯:我知道了,謝謝。