On Love
論愛情
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love--the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
愛別人和被人愛哪一樣更好?都不好,如果你的膽固醇值超過六百的話。所謂愛,我當然指的是浪漫之愛——男女之間的愛,而非母親和孩子,或者一個男孩和他的狗,或者兩個領(lǐng)班侍者之間的愛。
The marvelous thing is that when one is in love there is an impulse to sing. This must be resisted at all costs, and care must also be taken to see that the ardent male doesn't "talk" the lyrics of songs. To be loved, certainly, is different from being admired, as one can be admired from afar but to really love someone it is essential to be in the same room with the person, crouching behind the drapes.
不可思議之處在于一個人戀愛時,會有種想唱歌的沖動。一定要不惜任何代價抑制這種沖動,而且一定注意,不要讓熱情洋溢的男士把歌詞“說”出來。當 然,被愛跟被愛慕不同,因為一個人可以遠遠地被愛慕,然而要真正愛一個人,最根本的,是要蹲在窗簾后面,和那人待在同一間屋子里。
To be a really good lover, then, one must be strong and yet tender. How strong? I suppose being able to lift fifty pounds should do it. Bear in mind also that to the lover the loved one is always the most beautiful thing imaginable, even though to a stranger she may be indistinguishable from an order of smelts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Should the beholder have poor eyesight, he can ask the nearest person which girls look good. (Actually, the prettiest ones are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.)
要想當一位很出色的愛人,必須強壯而且溫柔。多強壯?我想能搬起五十磅的東西就算。要記住在愛人的眼里,被愛者總是能想象出的最漂亮的人兒,盡管 在陌生人看來,她可能跟一份胡瓜魚無甚區(qū)別。情人眼里出西施。眼睛近視的話,可以向離得最近的人詢問哪個女孩長得漂亮。(事實上,最漂亮的幾乎總是最乏味 的,這就是為何有人覺得上帝并不存在。)
"The joys of love are but a moment long," sang the troubadour, "but the pain of love endures forever." This was almost a hit song, but the melody was too close to "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."
“愛之歡樂僅為短短一瞬,”詩人唱道,“愛之痛苦卻綿綿無期。”這幾乎成了熱門歌曲,不過旋律跟《我是個揚基·杜德爾花花公子》過于接近。