[00:02.54]- Damn it! NED: Checkmate. - 可惡! - 將死了!
[00:03.38]NED: Boom. Checkmate, Samir! 將軍,薩米爾!
[00:06.74]BOY: Uh, can I get a little help in here? 能幫我個小忙嗎?
[00:11.42]Alex? 亞歷克斯?
[00:19.46]How does it...? 你怎么會…?
[00:22.30]- Who did this to you? - The basketball team. - 是誰這么對你? - 籃球隊
[00:25.82]But why? Why? You’re one of them. 什么?怎么會呢?你是其中的一員啊
[00:28.82]You’re popular. 你很受歡迎的啊
[00:32.66]Uh, look, this is kind of personal, and I don’t know you. 你看,這問題有點私人 而且我都不認識你
[00:35.02]- I’m taped to the toilet. - Yeah. - 我被綁在廁所里 - 嗯
[00:37.54]I’m sorry, I’m Mark Gold, uh, your uncle Ned’s kid. I just started here. 對不起,我是馬克·高德 你奈德叔叔的兒子,我剛剛轉過來
[00:41.38]Oh, cool. Cool, yeah. 噢,酷,挺棒的
[00:44.38]Well, I’d shake your hand... 好吧,我很想和你握手…
[00:47.90]...but it’s taped to my ass. - Right. Right. - 但是我的手被綁在屁股上了 - 噢,對
[00:48.06]Would you mind? 你不介意…
[00:50.58]- Yeah, yeah, sure. - Yeah, um. - 不會,當然不介意 - 嗯,好的
[00:53.10]- Just rip. - I’m going to get it. - 撕吧 - 我要撕了
[00:56.78]- Band-Aid. - Go for it. - 就像是撕邦迪 - 放手撕吧
[01:01.30]ALEX: So how come we never met? 為什么我以前沒有見過?
[01:07.14]My mom didn’t want anyone to know she had a kid with Ned. 我媽不希望有人知道她和奈德有個孩子
[01:09.82]- That makes sense. - Yeah. - 有道理 - 是啊
[01:11.14]So since we’re practically family and all... 既然我們也差不多是一家人,而且…
[01:14.18]...my dad says we should just keep an eye on each other, you know? …我爸說我們應該相互照應 你明白我的意思嗎?
[01:16.86]Uh, yeah. Why not? 嗯,當然明白
[01:20.34]Next time you could get there before they tape me to the toilet. 下次你可以在他們 把我綁起來之前趕到廁所
[01:24.22]You got it. 沒問題
[01:26.70]This looks good. 看起來不錯啊
[01:32.90]Who’s that? 那是誰?
[01:35.94]- Nicole. - Are you two going out? - 妮可 - 你們正在交往嗎?
[01:36.42]Oh, uh... 噢,嗯…
[01:40.26]No, no, she’s the, uh, head cheerleader. 不,不,她是,嗯,啦啦隊的隊長
[01:43.26]She’d never go out with me. 她不會和我交往的
[01:43.94]You know, when I first met your mother, I was so nervous... 你知道,當我第一次遇見你母親的時候 我是如此的緊張…
[01:46.98]You met my mother? 你遇到我媽?
[01:47.62]- What? - My mother. - 什么? - 我媽媽
[01:50.30]You said, "The first time I met your mother, I was nervous." 你說,“我第一次遇見你母親的時候 我很緊張”
[01:53.66]- Oh, that’s weird. Is your mom hot? - Dude, what...? - 噢,那聽起來真怪,你媽媽很辣嗎? - 伙計,你說什么…?
[01:57.02]- What do I say to that? - I was joking. Joking, dude. - 我在說些什么? - 我開玩笑的,玩笑而已
[02:04.02]ALEX: Stan. 斯坦
[02:08.06]I hate that guy. 我恨那家伙
[02:10.54]- Oh. - Thanks. - 噢 - 謝了
[02:11.06]BOY: What? - Huh. - 什么? - 哼
[02:12.90]- Freshman. STAN: Good sandwich. - 低年級 - 三明治不錯
[02:18.10]Is that the guy who taped you to the toilet? 是他把你綁在洗手間里的嗎?
[02:18.78]MIKE: Yeah. 沒錯
[02:21.26]Yesterday he shoved me in a washing machine in my own house. 昨天他把我推進了我家的洗衣機里
[02:25.10]- What was that jerk doing at your house? - It’s Maggie’s boyfriend. - 那個蠢蛋在你家這么對你? - 他是瑪姬的男朋友
[02:29.78]Maggie has a boyfriend? 瑪姬有男朋友?
[02:31.66]Well... 好吧…
[02:34.34]...l’m very disappointed in your sister. …我對你姐很失望
[02:39.18]He’s looking. Don’t make eye contact. He’s kind of temperamental. 他正在看這邊,不要和他對視 他脾氣很古怪
[02:42.86]- You’re looking. Stop it, stop it. - I’ll look at him. - 你還在看,停下,停下 - 我會一直盯著他
[02:45.54]STAN: Hey, twinkle douche. 嗨,你這個愛眨眼的腦殘
[02:49.22]If I wanted you in the cafeteria, I would’ve taped you to a lunch lady. 如果我希望你出現在餐廳 我會把你和派午餐的大媽綁在一起
[02:52.58]MIKE: You little punk. 你這個小雜種
[02:56.26]You don’t talk to him that way. 別對他這樣說話
[03:02.10]STAN: Yeah? 是嗎?
[03:05.46]What are you gonna do? 你打算怎么樣?
[03:11.98]What am I gonna do? 你問我打算怎么樣?
[03:14.14]First... 首先…
[03:15.98]...l’m going to call your father. …我要打電話給你爸
[03:20.60]Heads up! 看這個!
[03:31.90]Give me my ball back, bitch. 把球還給我,婊子
[03:35.06]You know, Stan, I feel sorry for you. 你知道嗎,斯坦,我真的很同情你
[03:37.90]- You don’t know me. - Oh, but I do. - 你又不認識我 - 不,我了解你
[03:39.74]All too well. 太了解了
[03:43.78]You’re the man. 你就是那個
[03:46.26]Captain of the basketball team. 籃球隊的隊長
[03:46.46]Dates the pretty girls. 和一堆漂亮女生約會
[03:50.62]High school is your kingdom. 高中是你的王國
[03:54.46]But, people... 可是呢,各位…
[03:56.98]Why? 為什么呢?
[04:00.50]It’d be way too easy to say Stan preys on the weak simply because he’s a dick. 很明顯斯坦專門欺負弱小 只因為他是個小雞雞
[04:06.54]No, no. 不對,不對
[04:07.02]No. 不對
[04:09.86]Stan here... 在這里的斯坦…
[04:10.54]...is much more complex than that. 其實要比那復雜很多
[04:15.38]See, according to leading psychiatrists... 根據最前沿的精神病學家研究…
[04:17.90]...Stan’s a bully for one of three reasons. 斯坦欺凌弱小 是因為三個原因中的一個
[04:21.90]One: 第一
[04:24.74]Underneath all of that male bravado... 在他男性的虛張聲勢下…
[04:27.10]...there’s an insecure little girl banging on the closet door trying to get out. …其實內心深處一直有一個不安分的 小女孩想要跳出心扉,釋放出來
[04:34.30]Two: 第二
[04:34.98]Like a caveman... 就像穴居人…
[04:36.66]...Stan’s brain is... …斯坦的腦子…
[04:39.98]...underdeveloped. …還沒進化完全
[04:41.18]Therefore, Stan is unable to use self-control. 因此,斯坦無法自我控制
[04:45.02]And so he acts out aggressively. 以至于他總是充滿侵略性
[04:46.54]And the third reason: 最后,第三個理由
[04:51.86]Stan has a small wiener. 斯坦的雞雞很小