高中英語作文的練習(xí)需要長期不斷的堅(jiān)持,期間找準(zhǔn)素材更能起到事半功倍的效果。以下是小編整理的高中英語作文|上大學(xué)是否必要的資料,希望對你的英語作文練習(xí)有所幫助!
As the cartoon shows, nowadays, many college graduates have low income which is as much as migrant workers[1]. Faced with the phenomenon, we can't help asking ourselves that is it necessary to go to university?[2]
Were I left to make a judgement[3], I would be in agreement with going to college, for if you want to obtain a full life, the experience in college is a part with no subtitude[4]. On the one hand, we can exercise our ability, like cooperation, communication, guidance[5], which will be late to learn after you enter the society[6]. On the other hand, high salary requires both diploma and experience, so it can account for the low income of college graduates who have little work experience. But, college graduates should be aware that they have more potential of promotion, and today's low wage won't be their final altitude of income.
In summary, I want to underline the importance of going to college again[7] and hope that graduates can look the study in college as a development of their life, not only the resort of high salary.
總評:16分. 這篇文章能表現(xiàn)出你在用詞和句法結(jié)構(gòu)上的優(yōu)勢。特別是后半部分寫的很好??墒俏覙?biāo)注出來的7個(gè)問題嚴(yán)重影響了得分。請?jiān)谙麓尉毩?xí)時(shí)謹(jǐn)記我的叮囑:一定要順,一定要保證不錯(cuò)。亮點(diǎn)不要過多追求。不然得不償失。
修改意見:
[1] 此處有三個(gè)不足,第一個(gè)是用詞"much",應(yīng)該用"little",因?yàn)檫@里我們想說的應(yīng)該是不多的工資;第二個(gè)不足是比較的對象不對。全句應(yīng)該改成:many college graduates have low income which is as little as migrant workers do. 第三個(gè)就是這里句式也得繁瑣了,那個(gè)定語從句完全不需要。
更好的表述:Many college graduates earn as low salary as migrant workers do.
Many college graduates earn no more than migrant workers do.
[2] 這里你整個(gè)句式是ask sb sth. 是由動(dòng)詞ask 接的兩個(gè)雙賓語。那么整個(gè)句子怎么會(huì)用到問號(hào)呢?這里說明對whether 引導(dǎo)的名詞性從句的功能不熟悉。
正確的表述:We can't help asking ourselves whether it is necessary to go to a university.
We can't help asking ourselves: is it necessary to go to a university?
特別強(qiáng)調(diào):大家千萬不要一想到鏈接主從分句就想到 that 這個(gè)詞,在分詞分句中(主語從句,表語從句,賓語從句,同位語從句)它后面跟隨的都是一個(gè)完整的陳述句。
[3] 這是個(gè)拼寫小錯(cuò)誤。改成:judgment. 不熟悉的單詞大家自己要關(guān)注細(xì)節(jié)
[4] 代替,代替品,整個(gè)詞匯是:substitute。記?。汉竺媸侨齻€(gè)"t",沒有"d"【5】 這里有三個(gè)并列,在后兩個(gè)之間用"and"。改成:like cooperation, communication and guidance
[6] 這個(gè)地方你在寫的時(shí)候應(yīng)該就感覺怪怪的。但是你還是堅(jiān)持寫了。因?yàn)槟阆胗脗€(gè)非限定性定語從句,所以給這個(gè)地方的表達(dá)帶來很大的挑戰(zhàn)。以后一定要注意,沒有把握的地方千萬不能再考試中冒險(xiǎn)。其實(shí)你可以退一步。在which 前面用句號(hào)結(jié)束。后面寫:If we can't obtain them until we enter the society, it is certainly too late. 不就很順暢了。
如果偏要用which,我改:which are the necessary skills with which you are armed before entering the society. 但是在考試的時(shí)候你很難有時(shí)間去組織這樣的句子呢。
[7] 這個(gè)地方副詞again放在句末很不妥當(dāng)。讀者會(huì)混淆這里 again 到底修飾 underline 表示“再強(qiáng)調(diào)”呢,還是修飾 going to college 表示“再上大學(xué)”。所以應(yīng)該如下:I want to underline once again the importance of going to college. 這就很清晰:我想再一次強(qiáng)調(diào)上大學(xué)的重要性。
結(jié)語:你的基礎(chǔ)還是這個(gè)基礎(chǔ),如果你不要那么勉強(qiáng)自己,不要去犯下這些本來可以避免的錯(cuò)誤。你拿到21-22分是很正常的。分得到了,腦子也沒有經(jīng)受那么大的折磨。朋友,這兩全的事你愿意嗎?
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