《這不是告別》作為全美媒體和讀者的年度之選,一出版就迅速橫掃《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》暢銷書榜長達(dá)45周,席卷全球三十多國。故事講述了一頭紅發(fā)、穿著肥大男款襯衫的Eleanor,與沉默寡言、沉迷于音樂和漫畫世界的Park之間的故事。
August 1986
1986年8月
# Park #
#帕克#
XTC was no good for drowning out the morons at the back of the bus.
XTC(1)無法蓋過校車后面那些家伙的聲音?!咀ⅲ海?)XTC,七十年代的英國新浪潮樂隊(duì)?!?/p>
Park pressed his headphones into his ears.
帕克壓緊了耳機(jī)。
Tomorrow he was going to bring Skinny Puppy or the Misfits. Or maybe he'd make a special bus tape with as much screaming and wailing on it as possible.
明天他應(yīng)該帶“嶙峋小狗”(2)或者“怪胎樂隊(duì)”(3),或者錄一盤塞滿尖叫哭喊的校車專用磁帶?!咀ⅲ海?)嶙峋小狗(Skinny Puppy),八十年代的加拿大工業(yè)之聲(Industrial Sound)樂隊(duì),是工業(yè)電子樂的先鋒。(3)怪胎樂隊(duì)(Misfits),七十年代的美國朋克樂隊(duì),以融合朋克搖滾與恐怖電影主題音樂的恐怖朋克(Horror Punk)次類型見長?!?/p>
He could get back to New Wave in November, after he got his driver's license. His parents had already said Park could have his mom's Impala, and he'd been saving up for a new tape deck. Once he started driving to school, he could listen to whatever he wanted or nothing at all, and he'd get to sleep in an extra twenty minutes.
等他十一月拿到駕照,就可以回頭聽新浪潮音樂(4。爸媽答應(yīng)把媽媽的那輛羚羊轎車給他,他也開始存錢買新的車載音響。一旦能開車上學(xué),他就可以愛聽什么聽什么,不聽也可以,還可以多睡二十分鐘。【注:(4)新浪潮(New Wave),一個(gè)概括性的音樂分類,泛指七十年代末到八十年代中期與朋克搖滾相關(guān)的音樂風(fēng)格,來源可能是華麗搖滾、Ska、雷鬼、實(shí)驗(yàn)音樂、電子音樂、強(qiáng)力流行樂、迪斯科音樂等。】
"That doesn't exist," somebody shouted behind him.
有人在他背后大叫:“根本沒那種東西!”
"It so fucking does," Steve shouted back. "Drunken-monkey style, man, it's a real fucking thing. You can kill somebody with it…"
史蒂夫也大叫:“我操!我說有就是有!老兄,醉猴拳是他媽的真貨,可以殺人…”
"You're full of shit."
“你放屁。”
"You're full of shit," Steve said. "Park! Hey, Park."
“你才放屁。”史蒂夫說,“帕克!喂,喂,帕克。”
Park heard him, but didn't answer. Sometimes, if you ignored Steve for a minute, he moved onto someone else. Knowing that was 80 percent of surviving with Steve as your neighbor. The other 20 percent was just keeping your head down…
帕克聽見了,但沒回答。有時(shí),你不理會(huì)史蒂夫,一分鐘后,他就會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)向其他目標(biāo)。與史蒂夫?yàn)猷彛俜种耸拇婊顧C(jī)會(huì)在此。另外百分之二十就是低下頭。
Which Park had momentarily forgotten. A ball of paper hit him in the back of the head.
不幸的是,他一時(shí)忘記了低頭,一個(gè)紙團(tuán)擊中了他的后腦勺。
"Those were my Human Growth and Development notes, dicklick," Tina said.
提娜說:“你傻啊,那是我‘人類生長與發(fā)展’課的筆記。”
"I'm sorry, baby," Steve said. "I'll teach you all about human growth and development. What do you need to know?"
“對(duì)不起啊,寶貝,”史蒂夫說,“我來教你人類生長與發(fā)展的所有知識(shí)吧,你想知道什么?”
"Teach her drunken-monkey style," somebody said.
有人應(yīng)聲:“教她醉猴拳!”
"PARK!" Steve shouted.
史蒂夫大叫:“帕克!”
Park pulled down his headphones and turned to the back of the bus. Steve was holding court in the last seat. Even sitting, his head practically touched the roof. Steve always looked like he was surrounded by doll furniture. He'd looked like a grown man since the seventh grade, and that was before he grew a full beard. Slightly before.
帕克拿下耳機(jī),回頭看車尾。史蒂夫正在最后一排耍猴。他就算坐著都幾乎頂?shù)搅塑図?,總是讓周遭的東西顯得像玩具家具,初一時(shí)他就和大人一樣高了,那時(shí)他還沒長胡子。忽然之間,他就滿臉胡須了。
Sometimes Park wondered if Steve was with Tina because she made him look even more like a monster. Most of the girls from the Flats were small, but Tina couldn't be five feet. Massive hair, included.
有時(shí),帕克懷疑史蒂夫追提娜是因?yàn)樗屗雌饋砀褚活^巨獸。佛列茲區(qū)的女孩大多很矮小,提娜連頭發(fā)在內(nèi)也肯定不超過五英尺。
Once, back in middle school, some guy had tried to give Steve shit about how he better not get Tina pregnant because if he did, his giant babies would kill her. "They'll bust out of her stomach like in Aliens," the guy said. Steve broke his little finger on the guy's face.
初中時(shí),有人跟史蒂夫胡扯,說千萬別讓提娜懷孕,巨嬰可能會(huì)害死她。他說:“孩子會(huì)像怪物一樣撐爆她的肚皮。”史蒂夫狠揍了那人的臉,結(jié)果搞斷了自己的小指頭。
When Park's dad heard, he said, "Somebody needs to teach that Murphy kid how to make a fist." But Park hoped nobody would. The guy Steve hit couldn't open his eyes for a week.
帕克的爸爸聽到后說:“該有人教教莫菲家那孩子如何正確握拳。”帕克希望沒人這么做,因?yàn)榘ち耸返俜蛉^的家伙一星期都睜不開眼睛。
Park tossed Tina her balled-up homework. She caught it.
帕克把那團(tuán)作業(yè)紙丟回給提娜。她接住了。
"Park," Steve said, "tell Mikey about drunken-monkey karate."
“帕克,”史蒂夫說,“你給米基講講空手道醉猴拳吧。”
"I don't know anything about it." Park shrugged.
帕克聳聳肩:“我一無所知。”
"But it exists, right?"
“有這個(gè)東西,對(duì)吧?”
"I guess I've heard of it."
“好像聽說過。”
"There," Steve said. He looked for something to throw at Mikey, but couldn't find anything. He pointed instead. "I fucking told you."
“你看,”史蒂夫想找東西扔米基,找不到,只好用力指著他,“我他媽不是說了有嗎。”
"What the fuck does Sheridan know about kung fu?" Mikey said.
米基說:“謝里登懂個(gè)屁的功夫。”
"Are you retarded?" Steve said. "His mom's Chinese."
“你傻啊,”史蒂夫說,“他媽媽是中國人。”
Mikey looked at Park carefully. Park smiled and narrowed his eyes.
米基認(rèn)真地看著帕克。帕克微笑著,雙眼瞇成了細(xì)縫。
"Yeah, I guess I see it," Mikey said. "I always thought you were Mexican."
米基說:“哦,我看出來了,我一直以為你是墨西哥人呢。”
"Shit, Mikey," Steve said, "you're such a fucking racist."
“去你媽的,米基,”史蒂夫說,“你這個(gè)有種族偏見的混蛋。”
"She's not Chinese," Tina said. "She's Korean."
“她不是中國人,”提娜說,“她是韓國人。”
"Who is?" Steve asked.
史蒂夫問:“誰?”
"Park's mom."
“帕克他媽媽。”
Park's mom had been cutting Tina's hair since grade school. They both had the exact same hairstyle, long spiral perms with tall, feathered bangs.
提娜從小學(xué)開始就讓帕克媽媽剪頭發(fā)。兩人的發(fā)型一模一樣:長長的大波浪卷,加上高而蓬松的劉海。
"She's fucking hot is what she is," Steve said, cracking himself up. "No offense, Park."
“你媽真是太火辣了,”史蒂夫笑著說,“別生氣啊,帕克。”
Park managed another smile and slunk back into his seat, putting his headphones back on and cranking up the volume. He could still hear Steve and Mikey, four seats behind him.
帕克又?jǐn)D出一個(gè)笑容,然后滑回座位,戴上耳機(jī),把音量開到最大,但依然聽得見四排后面米基與史蒂夫的聲音。
"But what's the fucking point?" Mikey asked.
米基說:“那又怎樣?”
"Dude, would you want to fight a drunk monkey? They're fucking huge. Like Every Which Way But Loose, man. Imagine that bastard losing his shit on you."
“哥們兒,你想跟醉猴打嗎?它們可真他媽叫大,跟電影《永不低頭》里面那只一樣。要是撒起野來,你想想看吧。”
Park noticed the new girl at about the same time everybody else did. She was standing at the front of the bus, next to the first available seat.
帕克跟大家差不多同時(shí)注意到了那個(gè)新來的女孩。她站在校車前排的第一個(gè)空位旁。
There was a kid sitting there by himself, a freshman. He put his bag down on the seat beside him, then looked the other way. All down the aisle, anybody who was sitting alone moved to the edge of their seat. Park heard Tina snicker; she lived for this stuff.
空位旁的那個(gè)學(xué)生馬上拿起袋子占住空位,移開了視線。走道兩旁還有空位的人也紛紛挪到靠窗的位子。帕克聽見提娜在竊笑,她最喜歡這種場景了。
The new girl took a deep breath and stepped farther down the aisle. Nobody would look at her. Park tried not to, but it was kind of a train wreck/eclipse situation.
這個(gè)新女孩深深吸了口氣,繼續(xù)往前走。沒人正眼看她。帕克也努力不看,但是這場景就像火車出軌或者日食一樣吸引眼球。
The girl just looked like exactly the sort of person this would happen to.
這女孩簡直就是“活該如此”的那種類型。
Not just new -- but big and awkward. With crazy hair, bright red on top of curly. And she was dressed like… like she wanted people to look at her. Or maybe like she didn't get what a mess she was. She had on a plaid shirt, a man's shirt, with half a dozen weird necklaces hanging around her neck and scarves wrapped around her wrists. She reminded Park of a scarecrow or one of the trouble dolls his mom kept on her dresser. Like something that wouldn't survive in the wild.
不僅初來乍到——還又胖又笨拙。大卷發(fā)亂七八糟的不說,偏偏還是大紅色。穿著嘛…就是想引人注目?;蛟S她不知道自己穿得糟透了。男款的格子襯衫,脖子上掛了六七串詭異的項(xiàng)鏈,兩只手腕裹著絲巾。她讓帕克聯(lián)想到稻草人,或者他媽媽放在五斗柜上的煩惱娃娃(5)。總之,是那些在野外無法生存的東西?!咀ⅲ海?)煩惱娃娃(Trouble doll),危地馬拉特產(chǎn)的小洋娃娃,能取代小主人的煩惱。比如小孩難以入睡,就跟煩惱娃娃訴說,把娃娃擺在枕頭下,就能一夜好眠?!?/p>
The bus stopped again, and a bunch more kids got on. They pushed past the girl, knocking into her, and dropped into their own seats.
校車停下了,更多的學(xué)生上了車。他們推擠著那女孩跑進(jìn)車廂,坐到自己的位子上。
That was the thing -- everybody on the bus already had a seat. They'd all claimed one on the first day of school. People like Park who were lucky enough to have a whole seat to themselves weren't going to give that up now. Especially not for someone like this.
這就是問題所在。每個(gè)人都有固定座位,那是他們開學(xué)第一天就占為己有的位子。像帕克這種幸運(yùn)地占據(jù)整排座位的人可不會(huì)拱手相讓,尤其是讓給她那樣的人。
Park looked back up at the girl. She was just standing there.
帕克又回頭看那女孩。她還站在那里。
"Hey, you," the bus driver yelled, "sit down."
“喂,你,”校車司機(jī)大叫,“快坐下!”
The girl started moving toward the back of the bus. Right into the belly of the beast. God, Park thought, stop. Turn around. He could feel Steve and Mikey licking their chops as she got closer. He tried again to look away.
那女孩開始往校車后面走,直入虎口。帕克心想,天啊,站住,轉(zhuǎn)過去。她逐漸接近車后座,帕克能感覺到史蒂夫和米基正舔著舌頭,準(zhǔn)備看好戲。他再次轉(zhuǎn)過頭不看她。
Then the girl spotted an empty seat just across from Park. Her face lit with relief, and she hurried toward it.
看到帕克斜對(duì)面有個(gè)空位,女孩如釋重負(fù),快步走上前。
"Hey," Tina said sharply.
提娜尖聲叫起來:“喂喂。”
The girl kept moving.
女孩繼續(xù)往前走。
"Hey," Tina said, "Bozo."
提娜又叫:“喂,波佐(6)。”【注:(6)波佐(Bozo),紅頭發(fā)的小丑?!?/p>
Steve started laughing. His friends fell in a few seconds behind him.
史蒂夫笑了。他的狐朋狗友們立即響應(yīng)。
"You can't sit there," Tina said. "That's Mikayla's seat."
“你不能坐那里,”提娜說,“那是蜜凱拉的位子。”
The girl stopped and looked up at Tina, then looked back at the empty seat.
那女孩停住腳步,抬頭看著提娜,又回頭看那個(gè)空位。
"Sit down," the driver bellowed from the front.
司機(jī)在前面大吼:“坐下!”
"I have to sit somewhere," the girl said to Tina in a firm, calm voice.
那女孩以堅(jiān)定而冷靜的口吻對(duì)提娜說:“我總要找個(gè)位子坐吧。”
"Not my problem," Tina snapped. The bus lurched, and the girl rocked back to keep from falling. Park tried to turn the volume up on his Walkman, but it was already all the way up. He looked back at the girl; it looked like she was starting to cry.
提娜厲聲說:“不關(guān)我的事。”車子歪斜著前進(jìn),那女孩往后傾斜以保持平衡。帕克想把隨身聽音量開大,但已經(jīng)是最大了。他回頭看那女孩,她好像要哭了。
Before he'd even decided to do it, Park scooted toward the window.
他還沒決定怎么做,身體卻已經(jīng)挪向靠車窗的位子。
"Sit down," he said. It came out angrily. The girl turned to him, like she couldn't tell whether he was another jerk or what. "Jesus-fuck," Park said softly, nodding to the space next to him, "just sit down."
他說:“坐下!”語氣中帶著怒意。女孩轉(zhuǎn)頭看著他,無法確定他是不是他們的同伙。帕克朝身旁的座位點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭,輕聲說:“媽的,你就趕緊坐下來吧。”
The girl sat down. She didn't say anything -- thank God, she didn't thank him -- and she left six inches of space on the seat between them.
女孩坐了下來,沒吭聲,也沒道謝。謝天謝地,她還讓兩人之間空了大約六英寸。
Park turned toward the Plexiglas window and waited for a world of suck to hit the fan.
帕克面向窗玻璃,就等著天下大亂了。
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