《渺小一生》:“你的聲音有點奇怪?！?/h1>

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2020年04月29日

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　 He waits for ten minutes, twenty. And then he turns, although the very movement is a punishment, and finds his phone in his bag. He dials Willem’s number and waits.

他等了十分鐘、二十分鐘，然后轉(zhuǎn)身。盡管連這個動作都是折磨，他還是從包里找出手機，撥了威廉的電話，等待著。

　 “Jude!” says Willem, sounding surprised. “I was just going to call you.”

“裘德！”威廉說，聽起來很驚訝，“我正想打給你?！?

　 “Hi, Willem,” he says, and hopes his voice sounds normal. “I guess I read your thoughts.”

“嗨，威廉，”他說，希望自己的聲音聽起來很正常，“我大概猜到你的想法了吧?！?

　 They talk for a few minutes, and then Willem asks, “Are you okay?”

他們談了幾分鐘，然后威廉問：“你還好吧？”

　 “Of course,” he says.

“當(dāng)然很好啊?！彼f。

　 “You sound a little strange.”

“你的聲音有點奇怪?！?

　 Willem, he wants to say. Willem, I wish you were here. But instead he says, “Sorry. I just have a headache.”

威廉，他想說，威廉，我真希望你在這里。但他只是說：“對不起，我只是頭痛?！?

　 They talk some more, and as they’re about to hang up, Willem says, “You’re sure you’re okay.”

他們又聊了一下。掛電話前，威廉說：“你確定你沒事？”

　 “Yes,” he says. “I’m fine.”

“確定。”他說，“我很好?！?

　 “Okay,” says Willem. “Okay.” And then, “Five more weeks.”

“好吧，”威廉說，“好吧。”然后說，“再五個星期?！?

　 “Five more.” He wishes for Willem so intensely he can barely breathe.

“再五個星期。”他想念威廉到簡直無法呼吸。

　 After they hang up, he waits for another ten minutes, until he finally stops shaking, and then he starts the car again and drives the rest of the way home.

掛斷電話后，他又等了十分鐘，才終于停止顫抖，發(fā)動車子開回家。

　 The next day, he makes himself look at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and nearly cries out in shame and shock and misery. He is so deformed, so astoundingly ugly—even for him, it is extraordinary. He makes himself as presentable as he can; he puts on his favorite suit. Caleb had kicked him in his side, and every movement, every breath, is painful. Before he leaves the house, he makes an appointment with the dentist because he can feel that one of his upper teeth has been knocked loose, and an appointment at Andy’s for that evening.

次日，他逼自己觀察浴室鏡中的自己，他羞愧、震撼又感到悲慘，差點叫出聲來。他整個人都變形了，丑得嚇人——即使是他，也實在太丑、太怪了。他穿上最喜歡的西裝，盡量讓自己看起來像樣一點。凱萊布踢了他的身側(cè)，讓他做每個動作、每次呼吸時都非常痛。離家之前，他先打電話跟牙醫(yī)約診，因為他感覺有一顆上牙被打松了。另外，也跟安迪約了當(dāng)天晚上看診。

　 He goes to work. “This is not a good look for you, St. Francis,” one of the other senior partners, whom he likes a lot, says at the morning management committee meeting, and everyone laughs.

他去上班?！斑@個造型不適合你哦，圣弗朗西斯?！币粋€他很喜歡的資深合伙人在上午的管理委員會議說，大家都笑了。

　 He forces a smile. “I’m afraid you’re right,” he says. “And I’m sure you’ll all be disappointed when I announce that my days as a potential Paralympic tennis champion are, sadly, over.”

他擠出微笑：“恐怕你說得沒錯?！彼f，“還有件事你們一定會很失望。我即將宣布，很可惜，我有希望成為殘奧會網(wǎng)球冠軍的日子，已經(jīng)結(jié)束了?！?

　 “Well, I’m not sad,” says Lucien, as everyone around the table groans in mock disappointment. “You get plenty of aggression out in court. I think that should be your sole combat sport from now on.”

“唔，我可不覺得可惜。”盧西恩說，同時會議上的每個人都假裝失望地哀嘆起來，“你在法庭上很有攻擊性。我想從現(xiàn)在開始，那應(yīng)該成為你唯一的搏斗運動了。”

　 That night at his appointment, Andy swears at him. “What’d I say about tennis, Jude?” he asks.

那天晚上去看診，安迪質(zhì)問他：“裘德，我之前怎么跟你交待網(wǎng)球的事情？”

　 “I know,” he says. “But never again, Andy, I promise.”

“我知道?！彼f，“不會再有了，安迪。我保證?！?

　 “What’s this?” Andy asks, placing his fingers on the back of his neck.

“這回是什么？”安迪問，手指放在他的頸背上。

　 He sighs, theatrically. “I turned, and there was an incident with a nasty backhand.” He waits for Andy to say something, but he doesn’t, only smears some antibiotic cream on his neck and then bandages it.

他故意夸張地嘆氣：“我轉(zhuǎn)身，一個反手拍的意外就發(fā)生了?！彼戎驳险f些什么，但他沒有，只是擦了點抗生素軟膏在他的脖子上，然后貼上繃帶。