雙語智慧書·掌握談話的藝術(shù)

148．掌握談話的藝術(shù)
　　掌握談話的藝術(shù)。人的真實(shí)個(gè)性能夠在談話之中得以體現(xiàn)。談話是人類生活中最平常的事，但沒有任何事比它更須小心謹(jǐn)慎。人之得失盡在于此。書信是深思于心而訴諸筆端的交談，寫信尚需審慎而行，而需立即展現(xiàn)才智的實(shí)際交談，豈不更需要謹(jǐn)慎？那些深諳交際之術(shù)的行家里手能感受到他人之靈魂在舌尖跳動(dòng)，因而先賢(1)說："說話吧，這樣我才能了解你。"有人認(rèn)為談話的藝術(shù)就是沒有藝術(shù)，談話如同穿衣，只需整潔，不需修飾。若是朋友間的交談，這當(dāng)然沒錯(cuò)；但在與長輩交談時(shí)，就應(yīng)得體，以顧及交談對(duì)象的體面。說話應(yīng)適合別人的心聲，才為合適。不要苛責(zé)他人的言辭，否則你將被視為學(xué)究；也不要做思想的稅務(wù)員，否則人們會(huì)就此躲避你，至少不會(huì)再輕易地表露他們的想法。在交談中，謹(jǐn)慎比雄辯更為重要。


148．Have the art of conversation
　Have the art of conversation. That is where the real personality shows itself. No act in life requires more attention, though it is the commonest thing in life. You must either lose or gain by it. If it needs care to write a letter which is but a deliberate and written conversation, how much more the ordinary kind in which there is occasion for a prompt display of intelligence? Experts feel the pulse of the soul in the tongue, wherefore the sage said, "Speak, that I may know you." Some hold that the art of conversation is to be without art－that it should be neat, not gaudy, like the garments. This holds good for talk between friends. But when held with persons to whom one would show respect, it should be more dignified to answer to the dignity of the person addressed. To be appropriate it should adapt itself to the mind and tone of the interlocutor. And do not be a critic of words, or you will be taken for a pedant; nor a taxgatherer of ideas, or men will avoid you, or at least sell their thoughts dear. In conversation discretion is more important than eloquence.
　　
(1) 指蘇格拉底，見箴言第43條注(1)。