129.從不抱怨
從不抱怨。抱怨往往會(huì)損害名譽(yù)。最好做一個(gè)依靠自己、反對(duì)抱怨的模范,而非被同情的對(duì)象。抱怨可使聆聽抱怨之人效仿我們所怨之人;抱怨一次被欺侮就將為別人下一次欺侮我們提供借口。本想得到他人的幫助或建議,卻只得到漠視和輕蔑。稱贊某人給你的恩惠則更加高明--聽的人就會(huì)覺得有必要效仿那個(gè)人。訴說(shuō)不在場(chǎng)的人給我們的恩惠,就等于在要求聽者給我們同樣的恩惠。這樣,后者就會(huì)接著前者給我們恩惠。所以,明智之人是從來(lái)不會(huì)宣揚(yáng)自己的失敗或者缺點(diǎn)的,他們只是宣揚(yáng)別人對(duì)他的照顧,以維持友誼,遏制敵意。
129.Never complain
Never complain. To complain always brings discredit. Better be a model of self-reliance opposed to the passion of others than an object of their compassion. For complaining opens the way for the hearer to what we are complaining of, and to disclose one insult forms an excuse for another. By complaining of past offences we give occasion for future ones, and in seeking aid or counsel we only obtain indifference or contempt. It is much more politic to praise one man's favours, so that others may feel obliged to follow suit. To recount the favours we owe the absent is to demand similar ones from the present, and thus we sell our credit with the one to the other. The shrewd will therefore never publish to the world his failures or his defects, but only those marks of consideration which serve to keep friendship alive and enmity silent.