海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第6期

　　第3章

　　Meanwhile the desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used became less and lessadequate, and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts ofpassion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to free myself. I struggled--not that struggling helped matters, but the spirit of resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in tears and physical exhaustion. If my mother happened to be near I crept into her arms, too miserable even to remember the cause of the tempest. After awhile the need of some means of communication became so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.

　　在成長(zhǎng)的過(guò)程中，我越來(lái)越渴望表達(dá)自己的意愿，但是我使用的幾個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的手勢(shì)已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠用了;而且，當(dāng)我無(wú)法表明自己的意圖時(shí)，我就會(huì)氣急敗壞。我感到似乎有一雙看不見的手正在抓著我，而我則拼命地想掙脫束縛。我努力抗?fàn)?mdash;—當(dāng)然并不是希求解決問(wèn)題，而是想為我內(nèi)心深處強(qiáng)烈的反抗精神尋找出路。我通常會(huì)哭鬧不止，直至筋疲力盡。如果母親碰巧在身邊，我會(huì)悄悄地鉆進(jìn)她的懷里。我傷心至極，乃至于忘記了憤怒的原因。后來(lái)，這種情緒的爆發(fā)在每天，或者每小時(shí)都會(huì)發(fā)生，因此，對(duì)于交流的需求于我是如此地迫切。

　　My parents were deeply grieved and perplexed. We lived a long way from any school for the blind or the deaf, and it seemed unlikely that any one would come to such an out-of-the-way place as Tuscumbia to teach a child who was both deaf and blind. Indeed, my friends and relatives sometimes doubted whether I could be taught. My mother’s only ray of hope came from Dickens’s "American Notes." She had read his account of Laura Bridgman, and remembered vaguely that she was deaf and blind, yet had been educated. But she also remembered with a hopeless pang that Dr. Howe, who had discovered the way to teach the deaf and blind, had been dead many years. His methods had probably died with him; and if they had not, how was a little girl in a far-off town in Alabama to receive the benefit of them?

　　我的父母陷入了深深的痛苦和困惑之中。當(dāng)時(shí)，我們家離任何一所盲人或聾啞學(xué)校都很遠(yuǎn)，而且，似乎也不會(huì)有任何人能跑到像圖斯康比亞這種偏僻的地方，就為了教一個(gè)又聾又瞎的小孩子。事實(shí)上，我的朋友和親屬們一度懷疑我真的能否接受教育。我母親唯一的希望來(lái)自狄更斯的《美國(guó)札記》，她曾讀過(guò)他寫的勞拉·布里吉曼的故事，而且她隱約記得那個(gè)女孩子也是又聾又瞎，然而卻接受了正規(guī)教育。不過(guò)她也感到希望渺茫，因?yàn)楹啦┦?，也就是探索傳授盲聾人知識(shí)的先驅(qū)，已經(jīng)去世很多年了。而豪博士的教育方法也許會(huì)隨著他的去世而消亡，果真如此，那么一個(gè)住在亞拉巴馬偏遠(yuǎn)小鎮(zhèn)的小姑娘又如何從中受益呢?

　　When I was about six years old, my father heard of an eminent oculist in Baltimore, who had been successful in many cases that had seemed hopeless. My parents at once determined to take me to Baltimore to see if anything could be done for my eyes.

　　我六歲大的時(shí)候，我的父親聽說(shuō)在巴爾的摩有一個(gè)著名的眼科醫(yī)生，他曾成功地醫(yī)治過(guò)許多看似無(wú)望的病人。于是，我的父母決定帶我去巴爾的摩，看看是不是能治好我的眼睛。

　　The journey, which I remember well, was very pleasant. I made friends with many people on the train. One lady gave me a box of shells. My father made holes in these so that I could stringthem, and for a long time they kept me happy and contented. The conductor, too, was kind. Often when he went his rounds I clung to his coat tails while he collected and punched the tickets. His punch, with which he let me play, was a delightful toy. Curled up in a corner of the seat Iamused myself for hours making funny little holes in bits of cardboard.

　　那是一次愉快的旅行，我依然有著十分清晰的記憶。在火車上，我同許多人成了朋友。有位女士送給我一盒貝殼。我父親在上面鉆出孔洞，這樣我就可以把貝殼串在一起，很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間我都沉醉其中，樂此不疲。列車長(zhǎng)也是個(gè)友善的人，當(dāng)他在車廂里四處走動(dòng)，為乘客檢票打孔的時(shí)候，我常會(huì)靠在他的衣擺上。他還讓我玩他的打孔器，那實(shí)在是一種很有趣的玩具。我蜷縮在座位的角落里自得其樂，一連好幾個(gè)小時(shí)在一片片紙板上打洞玩。