許多人夢想有一個完美的婚禮。人們通常會想象一個伴侶、他的個性和長相,以及走在紅毯上的喜悅和興奮。相對而言,很少有人想象自己和伴侶處于特定年齡,但也許他們應該開始想了。研究表明,一個人結(jié)婚的年齡會對他們的婚姻質(zhì)量產(chǎn)生影響。
It is generally not the best idea to get married right out of high school or even college. Kelsey Torgerson, a licensed clinical social worker, tells Brides that people should generally wait until they are at least 25 to get married. Before age 25 the brain is not fully developed, so a person may not yet be totally sure what he or she wants in a partner. Waiting until at least 25 may also give a young couple time to experience challenges together that will shed light on whether they are compatible during both the good times and the bad.
高中甚至大學畢業(yè)后就結(jié)婚通常不是最好的選擇。Kelsey Torgerson是一名注冊臨床社會工作者,他告訴新娘們,人們通常應該等到至少25歲才結(jié)婚。在25歲之前,大腦還沒有完全發(fā)育,所以一個人可能還不能完全確定他或她想要伴侶做什么。至少等到25歲,年輕的情侶們可能會有時間一起經(jīng)歷挑戰(zhàn),從而弄清楚他們是否能在幸福和逆境中和諧相處。
Weena Cullins, a therapist specializing in premarital and relationship counseling, told Brides that in her clinical experience, 28-year-old brides are more prepared for a healthy marriage due to their confidence, self-awareness, and life experience. On the other hand, she says that it is best for men to marry at age 32, when they have matured and settled into a career. Anecdotal experience is all well and good, but what does the data say?
專門從事婚前和關(guān)系咨詢的治療師維娜·卡林斯告訴新娘,根據(jù)她的臨床經(jīng)驗,28歲的新娘由于自信、自我意識和生活經(jīng)歷,對健康的婚姻更有準備。另一方面,她說男人最好在32歲結(jié)婚,那時他們已經(jīng)成熟并有了事業(yè)。軼事經(jīng)驗固然很好,但數(shù)據(jù)說明了什么呢?
Our experts' claims have been confirmed: compared to people who marry at a younger age, people who marry above the age of 25 are 50% less likely to divorce within five years. According to research conducted by Nicholas H. Wolfinger at the Institute for Family Studies, divorce rates are lowest for people who first get married at around 30-34 years of age.
我們專家的說法已經(jīng)得到證實:與年輕人相比,25歲以上結(jié)婚的人在五年內(nèi)離婚的可能性要低50%。根據(jù)家庭研究所尼古拉斯·H·沃爾芬格(Nicholas H.Wolfinger)的研究,30-34歲左右首次結(jié)婚的人離婚率最低。
But what about people who first get married at 35 or older? Wolfinger hypothesizes that some of these people may have struggled to find a partner due to interpersonal difficulties, and may be more likely to divorce for that same reason. He also suggests that maybe "people who marry later face a pool of potential spouses that has been winnowed down to exclude the individuals most predisposed to succeed at matrimony."
但是那些在35歲或更大的時候第一次結(jié)婚的人呢?沃爾芬格假設(shè),這些人中的一些人可能因為人際關(guān)系困難而難以找到伴侶,并且更有可能因為同樣的原因離婚。他還指出,也許“晚婚的人面臨著一群潛在的配偶,這些人已經(jīng)被篩選出來,排除了最有可能在婚姻中取得成功的人。”
Not all experts agree with this, though. Phillip Cohen, sociologist at the University of Maryland, presents a model that suggests women are least likely to get divorced if they first marry between ages 45 and 49 (an age group excluded by Wolfinger's analysis), and that the most important predictor of divorce may be level of education, with college graduates having lower divorce rates.
不過,并非所有專家都同意這一點。馬里蘭大學社會學家Phillip Cohen提出了一個模型,該模型表明,如果女性在45歲到49歲之間結(jié)婚(一個被Wolfinger的分析排除的年齡組),那么她們離婚的可能性最小,而且離婚最重要的預測因素可能是教育程度,因為大學畢業(yè)生的離婚率較低。
Perhaps April Davis, founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, said it best when speaking to Brides: "The best time to get married is when you feel comfortable and confident in your job and personal life. If you were to give yourself an exact age, you might find that you settle for whomever you're with at that age."
也許,LUMA Luxury Matchmaking的創(chuàng)始人April Davis在與新娘交談時做了更好的總結(jié):“結(jié)婚的最佳年齡是在你對工作和個人生活感到舒適和自信的時候。如果非要給自己一個確切的年齡,你會發(fā)現(xiàn),在那個年紀,不管和誰在一起,你都會安于現(xiàn)狀。”