1. They're very late. 遲到很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間
Issues with traffic or public transportation are inevitable for most people, so tardiness isn't always a red flag.
誰都難免有碰上交通擁堵的時(shí)候,所以初次約會(huì)遲到也不一定能說明問題。
But if your date is more than a few minutes late — and doesn't seem to care that you've been waiting for a lengthy period of time — consider that a first strike.
但如果你的約會(huì)對(duì)象遲到的時(shí)間不止是幾分鐘,而且似乎也不在意讓你等了那么久,這就很成問題。
2. They're too pushy. 太猴急
Your date may try to convince you that they deserve to be invited back to your place because they bought you a drink or spent some time with you.
你的約會(huì)對(duì)象可能試圖說服你,讓你邀請(qǐng)他去你家,就因?yàn)樗o你買了飲品或和你共度了一段時(shí)光。
"If they're insisting on inviting you to their place, or pushing to go over to yours, that's a bad sign," Rori Sassoon, founder of Platinum Poire matchmaking service, told INSIDER. "They don't need to know where you live right now."
婚戀機(jī)構(gòu)Platinum Poire 創(chuàng)始人羅瑞·薩孫告訴Insider網(wǎng)站說:“如果對(duì)方堅(jiān)持要邀請(qǐng)你去他家,或者執(zhí)意要去你家,這就不妙了。初次約會(huì)的對(duì)象不需要知道你住在哪兒。”
3. They get too personal too fast. 太早吐露心聲
There's nothing wrong with opening up to someone new, but it shouldn't all come out at once.
向新認(rèn)識(shí)的人吐露心聲沒有錯(cuò),但不應(yīng)該一下子把什么都說出來。
"When people start telling you stuff that is really personal really quickly, it displays a kind of neediness and clinginess that shows they're just going to use you as a vehicle for unloading for the relationship," Sassoon said. "It's all about them, they don't ask a question, they don't really care, they just want to vomit about their whole entire life."
薩孫說:“如果對(duì)方很快就告訴你一些很私密的事情,這說明他缺乏安全感又黏人,和你交往只是為了傾訴和發(fā)泄。他們只會(huì)談?wù)撟约?,不?huì)問關(guān)于你的問題,不會(huì)真正在乎你,只是為了一吐為快。”
Basically, if a first date feels like a therapy session — one in which you have unwittingly become the therapist — get out ASAP.
如果初次約會(huì)讓你感覺像在給對(duì)方做心理治療,自己無意間就成了心理咨詢師,那就應(yīng)盡快抽身離去。
4. They make the date feel like a job interview. 把相親搞得像求職面試
On the other hand, you don't want the date to feel like a job interview.
另一方面,你也不希望初次約會(huì)搞得像求職面試吧。
You don't automatically need to eliminate a potential partner if they're overly inquisitive — some people might ask a lot of questions when they get nervous, or they could genuinely be fascinated by you — but it's worth asking them some questions too, just to see if they open up about themselves or just go back to questioning you.
如果他們只是過于好奇,你也不一定要將此人拉黑。有些人一緊張就會(huì)問很多問題,但也可能是真的被你迷住了。不過你也可以問對(duì)方一些問題,看對(duì)方是坦然相告,還是繼續(xù)審問你。
5. They can't seem to plan anything. 沒有任何計(jì)劃
If they refuse to take accountability for any part of a date — a time to meet, a bar to get drinks, or even what drinks you get — that's not a great sign, either.
如果對(duì)方不愿主動(dòng)安排任何約會(huì)活動(dòng),包括定下約會(huì)時(shí)間、約會(huì)酒吧,甚至連點(diǎn)飲品也懶得,這可不是個(gè)好兆頭。
6. They're hot and cold. 情緒善變
Be wary of a person who shows up to a first date and seems happy one moment and decidedly not the next — and for no apparent reason.
上一秒還很開心,但下一秒?yún)s莫名其妙地不開心了,初次約會(huì)要警惕這種人。
Being moody doesn't mean someone is a bad person. But if their behavior during an hour-long date is sporadic enough to make you feel on edge, they may not be ready for a relationship.
喜怒無常不意味著這個(gè)人是壞人。但如果在一個(gè)小時(shí)的約會(huì)過程中對(duì)方的情緒多變讓你如坐針氈,那么這種人并不適合談戀愛。
There are a number of things that might explain their behavior — like a fresh breakup or trouble at work — but trying to pursue a relationship with them could be a thankless task for you.
這種喜怒無常可能有很多原因——比如剛剛分手或工作中遇到了麻煩——但和這樣的人談戀愛會(huì)吃力不討好。
7. They're too confrontational. 咄咄逼人
When you go on a date, it's possible that politics, religion, and other taboo topics may come up. But if a healthy debate turns into a one-sided screaming match, it's probably safe to cut your losses with this particular person.
在初次約會(huì)時(shí)可能會(huì)談及政治、宗教和其他禁忌話題。但如果一場(chǎng)有益的討論變成了一方的尖銳爭(zhēng)論,那么最好還是和對(duì)方斷交,及時(shí)止損。
"It's OK to agree to disagree on some things," Sassoon said. "But not everyone gets that, and if they make it clear on a first date, get out."
薩孫說:“人與人之間是可以求同存異的。不是每個(gè)人都懂得這個(gè)道理,如果第一次約會(huì)對(duì)方就非要爭(zhēng)個(gè)是非黑白,那還是就此別過吧。”
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