你們不必每天都見面。
If you can, then why not? But you don't have to nageach other about you or your partner coming overjust because you haven't seen a glimpse of eachother for the day (yet). For long-distancerelationships, if you can insert that five-minuteFaceTime before you head for work (and before hehits the sack), thengreat.
如果能見面,為什么不見呢?但你們無需因?yàn)橐惶鞗]見就煩惱著是你過去找他還是讓他過來找你。對(duì)于異地戀來說,如果你們能在上班之前(和睡覺之前)抽出5分鐘視頻聊天就很好了。
And this isn't about not making time for seeing each other, it's just that you've reached a pointin your relationship when you've realized the difference about being there and being clingy.Minus the Skype, FaceTime and whatever video call apps you use, you are present. And heknows that.
我的意思不是說不要刻意為見面留出時(shí)間,只是你們的關(guān)系已經(jīng)到了那種程度,你們已經(jīng)明白在一起和膩在一起的區(qū)別。即使沒有Skype、FaceTime以及你們使用的所有視頻聊天工具,他也知道你的存在。
2. You don't have to update each other of the most minute of details...
你們不必隨時(shí)向?qū)Ψ礁伦约旱募?xì)節(jié)……
...like if you've already eaten, what you had for lunch, etc. every. single. day. You aren'tabsorbed in the world you've created just for you and your boyfriend. Your boyfriend coexistswith all the other characters and elements of your world. He's a part of it -- maybe a major partof it -- but not it.
……比如每天都要匯報(bào)是不是吃完飯了、午飯吃了什么等等。你不用完全沉浸于只屬于你和男友的世界里,他在你的世界里和其他人和事物共存,他只是其中的一部分,可能是主要的部分,但并不是全部。
3. You don't impose your friends to be his friends and vice versa.
你不會(huì)把自己的朋友強(qiáng)加給他,反之亦然。
If they can be friends by themselves without your pushing and shoving them together, wouldn'tthat be a bonus? But you respect both your guy and your friends and know that how you relateto his friends (or how he does to yours) isn't an area where anyone could pass a judgment toyour compatibility as a couple.
如果沒有你的推動(dòng)和撮合他們自己就能成為朋友,那豈不是意外收獲?但你要尊重你的男友和朋友,要知道你如何和他的朋友相處(或他如何和你的朋友相處)都不是評(píng)判戀人是否相處得好的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
4. You don't (try to) impress each other with the most expensive of gifts.
你們無需用最昂貴的禮物來取悅彼此。
If both of you can afford it is a different story. What I'm saying is there are some couples whospoil each other (or just the other) with very pricey items when that single present alreadyequates to a month's total of his or her net pay. You've reached a maturity with finances andboth of you would rather plan on your anniversary getaway or a major investment for yourfuture.
如果你們能買得起就另當(dāng)別論了。我說的是有些情侶用過于昂貴的東西把對(duì)方慣壞了,這個(gè)禮物就花掉了他(或她)整整一個(gè)月的薪水。你們對(duì)錢的看法已經(jīng)成熟了,你們都寧愿計(jì)劃一年一次的旅行或做做未來的投資。
5. You don't use any filter when you talk.
你們談話時(shí)不會(huì)遮遮掩掩。
Finances filter, family filter, girlfriends / boyfriends filter, exes-filter, etc -- everything is outin the open. Honesty has always been the best policy.
金錢、家人、男女性友人、花銷方面等等都不會(huì)遮遮掩掩,這些都是公開透明的,誠(chéng)實(shí)總是最好的相處之道。
6. You don't torture yourself with boredom to death by pretending to like what he likes.
你不用假裝喜歡他喜歡的東西而把自己折磨得無聊得要死。
Your guy enjoys video games; you enjoy your books. Your guy enjoys outdoor sports; you enjoya cup of coffee in your little nook. He listens to pop music; you worship The Script. While yougive a chance for each other to get a peek of your world, you don't force him into being inyours.
你男朋友喜歡電子游戲;但你喜歡讀書。你男朋友喜歡戶外運(yùn)動(dòng);但你喜歡窩在小角落里喝咖啡。他聽流行音樂;但你崇拜The Script樂隊(duì)(搖滾風(fēng)格)。你們給彼此一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)探究對(duì)方的世界,但不必強(qiáng)迫他走進(jìn)你的世界。
7. You don't care what he sees anymore when you're without makeup and/or fresh fromslumber.
你不再在乎他看到你素顏和/或剛睡醒的樣子。
You're past those days when you thought that you always have to put your 'best face' forward.You'vebecome comfortable with being all natural. You've seen your beauty without makeup inhis eyes.
你們已經(jīng)過了你總想著要展現(xiàn)自己美貌的時(shí)候,你表現(xiàn)出自然的一面也覺著很舒服,你已經(jīng)在他眼中看到了自己素顏的美。
8. You don't support him in all his rants and complaints about the world.
你不會(huì)支持他的吹噓和對(duì)世界的抱怨。
When he needs a good sermon, it's you he hears it from. If he's wrong, you tell him. There'sno sugarcoating when you think he needs a slap of reality. You don't condone his wrong acts,you correct him. You don't feed him with false "it's okay"s.
當(dāng)他需要啟示時(shí),他要從你這兒聽到。如果他錯(cuò)了,你要告訴他,你認(rèn)為他需要面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)時(shí)你不必花言巧語。你不會(huì)寬恕他的錯(cuò)誤,你要糾正他。你不會(huì)虛偽地說“沒關(guān)系”來滿足他。
9. You don't act like a curfew officer anymore.
你不會(huì)再表現(xiàn)得像宵禁官。
You know he's going to have to make some time for his friends and you know he's going to haveto stay some nights out. You know him well to be sure that he's going to go home when hethinks it's time. And you respect his judgment of "it's time".
你知道他要留一些時(shí)間給朋友,知道他有時(shí)晚上要出去,你也很懂他,確信他知道什么時(shí)間該回家。你尊重他對(duì)“回家時(shí)間”的判斷。
10. You talk about the specifics of the future...
你們細(xì)致地探討未來…
...10 years, 20 years from now. You share dreams of tomorrow. You see him in the big scenes ofwhat lies ahead. You see him as your partner in accomplishing these dreams.
……10年或20年以后。你們分享對(duì)未來的憧憬,你在未來的畫面上能看到他的身影,你把他看成你實(shí)現(xiàn)這些夢(mèng)想的伴侶。
11. No buts, no ifs. He is your ally.
沒有“但是”,沒有“如果”,你們是同盟。
Whatever, whenever, wherever. It's always going to be you and him against the world. You cantake on whatever life throws at you because you know he will always be somewhere there --either holding your hand before that big jump or just an inch behind you as you take that mostdangerous step that you have to take by yourself. But you're never really alone in the mostliteral sense; you will always have a sidekick.
無論何事、無論何時(shí)、無論何地,永遠(yuǎn)都是你和他一起面對(duì)這個(gè)世界。你能承擔(dān)起生活賜予你的一切,因?yàn)槟阒浪麜?huì)永遠(yuǎn)在那兒——無論是縱身一躍之前握住你的手,還是當(dāng)你不得不獨(dú)自邁出危險(xiǎn)一步時(shí)就站在你身后。你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)真正孤單;永遠(yuǎn)有人陪你同行。
12. You value his thoughts. He values yours.
你看重他的想法,他也重視你的想法。
He has a say on the major changes in your life so as he does to those in yours. His opinion istaken in earnest because you know he's one of the few people in the world who would sincerelyand selflessly want the best for you. He would give it to you straight and simple. Sometimes,his thoughts would open you up to new wavelengths of thinking, make you affirm thosethoughts that you already hold or make you totally say no to some that you haven't been sureabout.
對(duì)你生活中的重大改變他都有發(fā)言權(quán),因?yàn)樗麉⑴c了你的生活。你會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮他的想法,因?yàn)槟阒浪鞘澜缟蟽H有的幾個(gè)真心實(shí)意而且無私地想要你過得好的人之一。他會(huì)直接簡(jiǎn)單地給出他的看法。有時(shí)他的想法會(huì)讓你眼前一亮,給你帶來新的想法,使你能肯定之前的想法或徹底否定你不確定的想法。
13. You don't really see or consider him as a boyfriend anymore.
你其實(shí)不再把他看作男朋友了。
He has become more like a brother? Err. No. He's more like a brother and lover combined. He'ssomewhere between those two. Not a brother, no longer a boyfriend, not yet a husband. LIFEMATE? That's more like it.
他變得更像一個(gè)兄弟?不對(duì),他更像是兄弟和愛人的結(jié)合,有時(shí)介于兩者之間。不是兄弟,不再是男朋友,但也還不是丈夫。那是生活伴侶?這個(gè)更貼切吧。
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