修改后:Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other people’s feelings and learn to be considerate.
解析:
修改前的句子中所使用的“add”,“kind”這兩個(gè)詞語的表達(dá)通常含義都比較寬泛。“add”既可以指數(shù)量上的增加,也可以指程度的加強(qiáng),而相對的,如果要表達(dá)“豐富經(jīng)驗(yàn)、增加知識”這個(gè)意思的時(shí)候,用enrich會使表達(dá)更準(zhǔn)確。再看看“kind”這個(gè)詞,它從字面意義上講是“好的、善良的”,但卻不能很具體的表現(xiàn)一個(gè)人的性格到底“好在哪”,而原句中是想表達(dá)的是“考慮周到、體貼入微”的特點(diǎn),所有需要使用更準(zhǔn)確的詞,應(yīng)當(dāng)使用 “considerate”。
2.修改前:Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.
修改后:Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.
解析:
經(jīng)過第一題的分析,大家應(yīng)該也了解了“greatly”,“rapidly”屬于常用詞,表示程度高、速度快,這樣的詞在表達(dá)效果上不夠具體,缺乏說服力,就像大家看文章當(dāng)然希望能看到的是實(shí)實(shí)在在的干貨啊。所有修改后的句子中用了“pervade every aspect of our lives”就具體生動地表現(xiàn)出科技的影響力到底有多大,其影響力已滲透到我們生活的方方面面,“at a speed which is quite unprecedented”意為“以一種前所未有的速度”,形象地道出了變化速度之快。
3.修改前:Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interesting as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and everyone should learn to get used to common everyday life.
修改后:Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and everyone should learn to get used to tedious everyday life.
解析:
nice,interesting,common都屬于普通詞匯,nice的意思是“好的,令人愉快的”,interesting是“有趣的”,這兩個(gè)詞都不能準(zhǔn)確地描繪出年輕人所憧憬的美好生活,句中想表達(dá)的是年輕人認(rèn)為生活如同小說、電影一般充滿戲劇變化,激動人心,要體現(xiàn)這層含義應(yīng)該用 dramatic,fascinating。dramatic表示“刺激的,戲劇性的,給人深刻印象的”,fascinating表示“具有強(qiáng)烈吸引力的,迷人的,使人神魂顛倒的”,這兩個(gè)詞的程度要比nice,interesting深得多,表現(xiàn)力也更強(qiáng)。原句用common表達(dá)實(shí)際的現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的枯燥無味是不準(zhǔn)確的,common的意思是“普通的,平常的”,普通平常的東西不一定是枯燥的,tedious是表示“(因過長、過慢或單調(diào))令人厭倦的,煩人的”,恰好傳達(dá)出現(xiàn)實(shí)生活由于瑣碎和重復(fù)而變得索然無味這種含義。
4.修改前:You should compete to live in this society.
修改后:You should compete for survival;otherwise,you will be thrown out of the tide of society.
解析:
修改前的句子比較平常,只是告訴人們要在社會立足,必須競爭,但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力,修改后的句子用了compete for survival,為了生存而競爭,而且后面又添加了一個(gè)并列分句,補(bǔ)充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society,被社會的浪潮所淘汰,使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現(xiàn)出競爭的慘烈。
5.修改前:I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
修改后:I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.
解析:
“conviction”的意思是“堅(jiān)定的看法或信仰”,“have a profound conclusion”表示對某種看法深信不疑,作文中提出觀點(diǎn)的句子用“have a profound conclusion”會比用“believe”態(tài)度更堅(jiān)決,立場更鮮明,而且“believe”這個(gè)詞非常簡單,是英語初學(xué)者就應(yīng)掌握的詞匯,換成 have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復(fù)雜程度,體現(xiàn)了較強(qiáng)的語言運(yùn)用能力。類似表達(dá)“提出觀點(diǎn)”的句子還有:
I hold a point of view that…
I hold the opinion that…
6.修改前:We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
修改后:It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
解析:
如上句的“believe”一樣,“know”也是非常初級的詞匯,作文中出現(xiàn)“I believe that…,I know that…”這樣的表達(dá)只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩,用“It does not surprise us to discover that…”替換“We know that…”并沒有改變原句的含義,卻使全句頓時(shí)增添了亮點(diǎn)。
7.修改前:We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
修改后:It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
解析:
同上例一樣,“know”這樣的初級詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用,It goes without saying that…是一個(gè)固定結(jié)構(gòu),意思是“……是不言而喻的”,常在作文中用來引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個(gè)盡人皆知的道理,類似的表達(dá)還有:
An old saying goes that…
Proverb goes that…
It is universally acknowledged that…
It is generally accepted that…
8.修改前:Some other people think that people should read extensively.
修改后:Another position says that people should read extensively.
解析:
同know,believe一樣,think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用,修改后的句子中是用Another position says that…代替think提出另一種觀點(diǎn),也可以用hold a point of view,hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。
9.修改前:The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
修改后:The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
解析:
“give”也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯,只表示“給,給予”這個(gè)動作,不涉及動作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài),若表示增添信心,增強(qiáng)士氣,比較地道的說法是用“boost confidence/morale”,如:The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company.管理模式的改變使整個(gè)公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
10.修改前:The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
修改后:The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
解析:
greatly是一般用語,表示程度高,“很,非常”,使用相當(dāng)普遍而沒有新意,在寫作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯,應(yīng)換用一些更加正式,更有說服力的詞語,例如significantly表示達(dá)到了非常重要的或可觀的程度,“重大的,可觀的”,能夠具體說明藥品使用方面,增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably,tremendously等,同樣具有不錯(cuò)的表達(dá)效果。
以上就是托福寫作中詞匯使用的技巧,要想得到托福高分,單詞的多樣性和新鮮程度也是必不可少的,希望對大家有所幫助。
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