Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying -- it had been years since he'd really cried -- but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.
"Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.
"I... don't... want... him... t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp- spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.
Just then, the doorbell rang -- "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically -- and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.
Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.
"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy -- any funny business, anything at all -- and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."
"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly..
But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.
The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.
Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.
Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls) -- The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.
On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid- jump.
But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.
達德里開始嚎啕大哭起來。實際上,他沒有真哭,已經(jīng)很久他都沒有真哭過了,但是他知道一旦他苦著臉大哭大鬧,他的媽媽就會給他任何想要的東西。
"我親愛的寶貝,不要哭,螞咪不會讓他破壞你的生日的。"她用手臂環(huán)住他,心痛地說。
"我……不想……他……去!"達德里假裝大聲抽噎地說。"他總是搞……搞亂所有事。"他邊說邊在他媽媽的手臂間沖哈利邪邪地笑。
這時,門鈴響了。"天哪,他們到了!"帕尤妮亞姨媽慌慌張張地說。不一會兒,達德里最好的朋友,皮爾斯。波各斯和他媽媽一塊走了進來。皮爾斯是一個皮包骨的、長著一張像老鼠的面孔一樣的男孩。在達德里打人的時候,他總是那個把被打的人的手板到背后的那個幫兇。達德里立刻停下來不開口了。
半個小時后,不敢相信自己運氣的哈利,已經(jīng)和達德里及皮爾斯一道坐在車的后座,行駛在他有生以來第一次去動物園的路卜了。他的姨丈姨媽想不到其它辦法來對付他。但是他們離開之前,維能把哈利拉到一邊。
"我警告你,"他把自己那張巨大的紫色面龐貼近哈利說,"我在警告你,小子——如果有任何差錯,任何——我會把你關(guān)在柜子里直到圣誕節(jié)。""我不會搗亂的。"哈利說,"我發(fā)誓。"
維能并不相信他,從來沒有人相信過他。
問題在于,總有奇怪的事情圍繞著哈利發(fā)生,就算哈利并沒有刻意去制造它們。
有一次,帕尤妮亞姨媽厭倦了哈利從剪發(fā)店那里回來之后的樣子,因為看上去簡直像沒剪~樣。于是她從廚房里拿出一把剪子把他弄得像個禿子。只有前額上的流海沒剪,她說要留下來"遮住那難看的疤痕。"達德里嗤笑哈利居然因為想著第二天要上學(xué)而失眠——在學(xué)校里,達德里已經(jīng)取笑過哈利大得出奇的衣服以及纏滿膠布的眼鏡。第二天早上,哈利起床后發(fā)現(xiàn)他的頭發(fā)又長得像沒剪前那么長。他因此被關(guān)在柜子里一個禮拜。盡管如此,他自己也解釋不到為什么他的頭發(fā)會這么快就長出來。
還有一次,帕尤妮亞姨媽強迫他把達德里的一件有著橙色絨球的花色毛衣穿在身上,誰知她越大力把毛衣往哈利頭上套,那件毛衣就變得越小。直到最后小到只夠一只手掌大的狗穿,哈利是肯定穿不下的了。帕尤妮亞姨媽固執(zhí)地認為一定是洗過之后毛衣縮水了,多虧了她這樣想,哈利才免受懲罰。
另一方面,哈利又因為被人發(fā)現(xiàn)在學(xué)校廚房的屋頂上而苦惱不已。達德里和他的一幫走狗像往常一樣追他,可是超出所有人包括哈利本人的意料的是,他坐到了煙囪頂上。達德里夫婦收到哈
但是今天什么差錯都不能出。只要是能去除了學(xué)校、他住的柜子以及