2022年12月25日 VOA慢速英語：呸騙子！有史以來最糟糕的圣誕電影
Bah, Humbug! The Worst Christmas Movies of All-Time
呸騙子！有史以來最糟糕的圣誕電影
呸騙子！有史以來最糟糕的圣誕電影
Not every Christmas movie can deliver the holidays feels, with Last Christmas, Christmas With the Kranks and nine others making our naughty list.
并非每部圣誕電影都能帶來節(jié)日的感覺，《去年圣誕節(jié)》、《克蘭克斯的圣誕節(jié)》和其他九部都在我們的頑皮名單上。
From ho-ho-ho to no-no-no.
從 ho-ho-ho 到 no-no-no。
We here are E! News love the holidays. The time spent with family. The seasonal beverages. The twinkling lights. The food. And, of course, the movies. There's nothing we love more than a cozy Sunday evening spent watching Hallmark's latest cheesy but irresistible Countdown to Christmas movie with a steaming cup of hot cocoa. (We have the evidence: We ranked all of 2022's offerings. Yes, all of them.)
我們在這里是 E！新聞喜歡假期。與家人共度的時光。季節(jié)性飲料。閃爍的燈光。食物。當(dāng)然，還有電影。沒有什么比在一個舒適的周日晚上一邊喝著熱氣騰騰的熱可可一邊觀看 Hallmark 最新的俗氣但令人無法抗拒的圣誕倒計時電影更讓我們喜愛的了。（我們有證據(jù)：我們對 2022 年的所有產(chǎn)品進行了排名。是的，所有這些。）
But while we love us a cheery Christmas offering, that doesn't mean we don't have standards: We can spot the difference between a gift (think classics like Home Alone, Christmas Vacation and Elf) and a lump of coal that leaves us colder than the frigid temps outside.
但是，雖然我們喜歡愉快的圣誕禮物，但這并不意味著我們沒有標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：我們可以辨別禮物（想想像《小鬼當(dāng)家》、 《圣誕假期 》和《小精靈》這樣的經(jīng)典作品）和離開我們的煤塊之間的區(qū)別比外面寒冷的溫度還要冷。
Not every seasonal outing can go on to become annual event programming like Love Actually or The Santa Clause. Some destined to end up at the tail-end of Netflix's Christmas suggestions scroll.
并非每一次季節(jié)性郊游都能像Love Actually或The Santa Clause那樣成為年度活動節(jié)目。有些注定會出現(xiàn)在 Netflix 圣誕節(jié)建議卷軸的末尾。
So which Christmas films over the years have failed to become classics, instead becoming go-to examples of the holidays gone very wrong?
那么這些年來有哪些圣誕電影未能成為經(jīng)典，反而成為了節(jié)日大錯特錯的典范？
Last Christmas
上一個圣誕節(jié)
Lesson learned from this recent rom-com starring Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding, two human embodiments of warm and fuzzy feelings, and written by the equally-as-charming Emma Thompson? A lyric in a beloved Christmas song ("Last Christmas" by George Michael) does not a good Christmas movie make.
從最近這部由艾米莉亞克拉克和亨利戈爾丁主演的 rom-com 中吸取教訓(xùn)，這兩個人類體現(xiàn)了溫暖和模糊的感覺，由同樣迷人的艾瑪湯普森編寫？一首心愛的圣誕歌曲（喬治邁克爾的“去年圣誕節(jié)” ）中的歌詞并不是一部好的圣誕電影。
Choice Review: "It's the kind of bad that falls somewhere between finding a lump of coal in your stocking and discovering one painfully lodged in your rectum."
選擇評論：“這是一種介于在你的襪子里發(fā)現(xiàn)一塊煤和發(fā)現(xiàn)一個痛苦地卡在你的直腸之間的壞事。”
Deck the Halls
裝飾大廳
If you like your Christmas movies with some cranky men and a lot of mean-spirited hijinks and very little charm, this comedy starring Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito is for you, ya Grinch.
如果你喜歡你的圣誕電影中有一些脾氣暴躁的男人和很多卑鄙的惡作劇而且很少有魅力，那么這部由馬修布羅德里克和丹尼德維托主演的喜劇就是給你的，你是格林奇。
Choice Review: "You cannot believe how excruciatingly awful this movie is. It is bad in a way that will cause unfortunate viewers to huddle in the lobby afterward, hugging in small groups, consoling one another with the knowledge that it's over, it's over—thank God, it's over."
Choice 評論：“你無法相信這部電影有多么糟糕。它的糟糕程度會導(dǎo)致不幸的觀眾事后擠在大廳里，三五成群地?fù)肀?，互相安慰，知道它結(jié)束了，它結(jié)束了——感謝上帝，一切都結(jié)束了。”
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
胡桃夾子和四個王國
Um, at least Keira Knightley seemed to be having fun in this colorful, wild and wackadoodle reimagination of The Nutcracker? Despite (very) early hype, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms became one of the biggest box office bombs of 2018.
嗯，至少凱拉奈特莉似乎在胡桃夾子的這個多彩，狂野和怪誕的重新想象中很有趣？盡管（非常）早期炒作，胡桃夾子和四個王國成為 2018 年最大的票房炸彈之一。
Choice Review: "What in the cuckoo Christmas blasphemy is this?"
選擇評論：“布谷鳥圣誕節(jié)的褻瀆是什么？”
Four Christmases
四個圣誕節(jié)
On paper, this movie sounds great: America's sweetheart Reese Witherspoon and America's wise-ass Vince Vaughn as a couple having to visit four messy, complicated and inappropriate families on Christmas. But this rom-com-gone-wrong proved to be riddled with clichés and felt staler than your Aunt Karen's fruitcake.
從表面上看，這部電影聽起來很棒：美國的甜心瑞茜·威瑟斯彭和美國的聰明人文斯·沃恩作為一對夫婦不得不在圣誕節(jié)拜訪四個凌亂、復(fù)雜和不合適的家庭。但事實證明，這部 rom-com-gone-wrong 充滿了陳詞濫調(diào)，而且感覺比你凱倫阿姨的水果蛋糕還陳舊。
Choice Review: "It's Four Christmases in need of a wedding, or maybe a funeral."
選擇評論：“這是四個圣誕節(jié)，需要一場婚禮，或者一場葬禮。
Fred Claus
弗雷德·克勞斯
And Vaughn is 0-for-2 when it comes to Christmas movies, with his 2007 comedy about Santa's cranky and bitter Scrooge of an older bro failing to earn many laughs...or money.
沃恩 (Vaughn) 在 2007 年的圣誕電影中是 0 比 2 的喜劇，講述了圣誕老人脾氣暴躁、苦澀的守財奴（Scrooge）和一個年長的兄弟未能贏得很多笑聲……或金錢。
Choice Review: "The movie is less ho-ho-ho than uh-oh, or oh-no."
選擇評論：“這部電影不像呃哦，或者哦不。”
Jack Frost
杰克弗羅斯特
Imagine a Christmas movie about a dead father (who died on Christmas Day, by the way, after always traveling for work and not really being present with his family) returning to his son as a snowman who came to life one day. Now imagine thinking that is not a horror movie. Alas, filmmakers believed this was the feel-good family film the world needed, with Michael Keaton starring as the dead-dad-turned-snowman. 1998, man, what a year.
想象一部關(guān)于一位死去的父親（順便說一下，他在圣誕節(jié)那天去世的圣誕電影，在他總是出差而不是真正與家人在一起之后）回到他的兒子身邊，變成了有一天復(fù)活的雪人?，F(xiàn)在想象一下，這不是一部恐怖電影。 las，電影制作人認(rèn)為這是世界需要的感覺良好的家庭電影，邁克爾基頓主演了死去的父親變成的雪人。 1998，伙計，多么美好的一年。
Christmas With the Kranks
與克蘭克斯一起過圣誕節(jié)
While Tim Allen proved to have the holiday spirit with his blockbuster Santa Clause trilogy, the magic wore off for this 2004 family comedy. The concept was simple enough: The Home Improvement star and Jamie Lee Curtis play a couple frantically trying to put together a Christmas event in less than 24 hours after their adult daughter reveals she's going to be returning home after all. Alas, despite Allen and Curtis' comedic talents, there was no salvaging this hammy and clunky Christmas mess and it has the 5 percent Rotten Tomatoes rating to prove it.
蒂姆·艾倫 (Tim Allen) 憑借他的轟動一時的圣誕老人三部曲證明了自己的節(jié)日精神，但這部 2004 年的家庭喜劇的魔力逐漸消退。這個概念很簡單：家裝明星和杰米·李·柯蒂斯扮演一對夫婦，在他們成年的女兒透露她畢竟要回家后不到 24 小時內(nèi)瘋狂地試圖組織一個圣誕節(jié)活動。唉，盡管艾倫和柯蒂斯有喜劇天賦，但還是沒有挽救這個笨拙笨拙的圣誕節(jié)爛攤子，它有 5% 的爛番茄評級來證明這一點。
Choice Review: "Stinks like the unrefrigerated ham its studio sent me as a promotion several months ago."
Bad Santa 2
壞圣誕老人 2
Alternate title for this unnecessary and unfunny sequel to the surprise hit dark comedy starring Billy Bob Thornton? 2 Bad 4 Santa.
這部由比利·鮑伯·松頓主演的出人意料的熱門黑色喜劇的續(xù)集的別名是什么？ 2壞4圣誕老人。
Choice Review: "We have long hoped that there might one day be a sequel. We need to be careful what we wish for."
選擇評論：“我們一直希望有一天會有續(xù)集。我們需要小心我們的愿望。”
Love the Coopers
愛庫珀
Nothing brings the family together during the holidays quite like divorce, right? Desperate for one last perfect Christmas as a fam, Diane Keaton and John Goodman play a couple planning to divorce just after their adult children visit for the holidays. We'll let you guess what happens. The movie wastes a majority of its stacked cast (Olivia Wilde, Anthony Mackie and Alan Arkin, oh my!) and just tries way too hard to hit you in your holiday feels. Example: A dog narrates the movie.
沒有什么比離婚更能讓家人在假期聚在一起了，對吧？黛安·基頓 (Diane Keaton) 和約翰·古德曼 (John Goodman) 扮演了一對夫婦，他們希望在成年子女來度假后就離婚，他們迫切希望一家人度過最后一個完美的圣誕節(jié)。我們會讓你猜會發(fā)生什么。這部電影浪費了大部分演員陣容（奧利維亞·王爾德、安東尼·麥凱和艾倫·阿金，我的天哪！），而且太過努力地想在你的假期中打動你。示例：一只狗在講述電影。
Miracle on 34th Street
第 34 街的奇跡
OK, here's the thing: the 1994 remake isn't a bad movie, it's just a completely unnecessary one. Starring Richard Attenborough, Dylan McDermott, Elizabeth Perkins and Mara Wilson, it doesn't really add anything new or special, which is obvious as the original 1947 still tends to get more airplay all these years later.
好吧，事情是這樣的：1994 年的翻拍版并不是一部糟糕的電影，它只是一部完全沒有必要的電影。由 Richard Attenborough、Dylan McDermott、Elizabeth Perkins 和 Mara Wilson 主演，它并沒有真正添加任何新的或特別的東西，這是顯而易見的，因為這些年之后，最初的 1947 年仍然有更多的播放機會。
Choice Review: "The movie's a slow-moving, overblown, never-better-than-competent rendition of the original."
選擇評論：“這部電影是對原著的緩慢、夸張、再好不過的演繹。”
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
圣誕王子：皇家婚禮
Before you argue, let the record state that we thoroughly enjoyed the first film in the A Christmas Prince franchise (We cannot believe that is an actual thing, but here we are!) for how deliciously low-budget and unintentionally hilarious it was. There's a reason it became an unexpected meme-generator and developed a cult fanbase. HOWEVER, the 2018 sequel was so-bad-it's-bad, not so-bad-it's-good. The Netflix rom-com was lackluster, half-assed and, worst of all, BORING. Therefore we banished it from our queue..
在你爭論之前，讓記錄表明我們非常享受圣誕王子系列中的第一部電影（我們不敢相信這是真實的，但我們就是這樣?。┮驗樗嵌嗝疵牢兜牡皖A(yù)算和無意中的搞笑。它成為意想不到的模因生成器并發(fā)展出狂熱的粉絲群是有原因的。然而，2018 年的續(xù)集太糟糕了，但還算不錯。 Netflix rom-com 乏善可陳，半途而廢，最糟糕的是，很無聊。因此我們將它從我們的隊列中刪除了..
從 ho-ho-ho 到 no-no-no。
We here are E! News love the holidays. The time spent with family. The seasonal beverages. The twinkling lights. The food. And, of course, the movies. There's nothing we love more than a cozy Sunday evening spent watching Hallmark's latest cheesy but irresistible Countdown to Christmas movie with a steaming cup of hot cocoa. (We have the evidence: We ranked all of 2022's offerings. Yes, all of them.)
我們在這里是 E！新聞喜歡假期。與家人共度的時光。季節(jié)性飲料。閃爍的燈光。食物。當(dāng)然，還有電影。沒有什么比在一個舒適的周日晚上一邊喝著熱氣騰騰的熱可可一邊觀看 Hallmark 最新的俗氣但令人無法抗拒的圣誕倒計時電影更讓我們喜愛的了。（我們有證據(jù)：我們對 2022 年的所有產(chǎn)品進行了排名。是的，所有這些。）
But while we love us a cheery Christmas offering, that doesn't mean we don't have standards: We can spot the difference between a gift (think classics like Home Alone, Christmas Vacation and Elf) and a lump of coal that leaves us colder than the frigid temps outside.
但是，雖然我們喜歡愉快的圣誕禮物，但這并不意味著我們沒有標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：我們可以辨別禮物（想想像《小鬼當(dāng)家》、 《圣誕假期 》和《小精靈》這樣的經(jīng)典作品）和離開我們的煤塊之間的區(qū)別比外面寒冷的溫度還要冷。
Not every seasonal outing can go on to become annual event programming like Love Actually or The Santa Clause. Some destined to end up at the tail-end of Netflix's Christmas suggestions scroll.
并非每一次季節(jié)性郊游都能像Love Actually或The Santa Clause那樣成為年度活動節(jié)目。有些注定會出現(xiàn)在 Netflix 圣誕節(jié)建議卷軸的末尾。
So which Christmas films over the years have failed to become classics, instead becoming go-to examples of the holidays gone very wrong?
那么這些年來有哪些圣誕電影未能成為經(jīng)典，反而成為了節(jié)日大錯特錯的典范？
Last Christmas
上一個圣誕節(jié)
Lesson learned from this recent rom-com starring Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding, two human embodiments of warm and fuzzy feelings, and written by the equally-as-charming Emma Thompson? A lyric in a beloved Christmas song ("Last Christmas" by George Michael) does not a good Christmas movie make.
從最近這部由艾米莉亞克拉克和亨利戈爾丁主演的 rom-com 中吸取教訓(xùn)，這兩個人類體現(xiàn)了溫暖和模糊的感覺，由同樣迷人的艾瑪湯普森編寫？一首心愛的圣誕歌曲（喬治邁克爾的“去年圣誕節(jié)” ）中的歌詞并不是一部好的圣誕電影。
Choice Review: "It's the kind of bad that falls somewhere between finding a lump of coal in your stocking and discovering one painfully lodged in your rectum."
選擇評論：“這是一種介于在你的襪子里發(fā)現(xiàn)一塊煤和發(fā)現(xiàn)一個痛苦地卡在你的直腸之間的壞事。”
Deck the Halls
裝飾大廳
If you like your Christmas movies with some cranky men and a lot of mean-spirited hijinks and very little charm, this comedy starring Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito is for you, ya Grinch.
如果你喜歡你的圣誕電影中有一些脾氣暴躁的男人和很多卑鄙的惡作劇而且很少有魅力，那么這部由馬修布羅德里克和丹尼德維托主演的喜劇就是給你的，你是格林奇。
Choice Review: "You cannot believe how excruciatingly awful this movie is. It is bad in a way that will cause unfortunate viewers to huddle in the lobby afterward, hugging in small groups, consoling one another with the knowledge that it's over, it's over—thank God, it's over."
Choice 評論：“你無法相信這部電影有多么糟糕。它的糟糕程度會導(dǎo)致不幸的觀眾事后擠在大廳里，三五成群地?fù)肀?，互相安慰，知道它結(jié)束了，它結(jié)束了——感謝上帝，一切都結(jié)束了。”
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
胡桃夾子和四個王國
Um, at least Keira Knightley seemed to be having fun in this colorful, wild and wackadoodle reimagination of The Nutcracker? Despite (very) early hype, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms became one of the biggest box office bombs of 2018.
嗯，至少凱拉奈特莉似乎在胡桃夾子的這個多彩，狂野和怪誕的重新想象中很有趣？盡管（非常）早期炒作，胡桃夾子和四個王國成為 2018 年最大的票房炸彈之一。
Choice Review: "What in the cuckoo Christmas blasphemy is this?"
選擇評論：“布谷鳥圣誕節(jié)的褻瀆是什么？”
Four Christmases
四個圣誕節(jié)
On paper, this movie sounds great: America's sweetheart Reese Witherspoon and America's wise-ass Vince Vaughn as a couple having to visit four messy, complicated and inappropriate families on Christmas. But this rom-com-gone-wrong proved to be riddled with clichés and felt staler than your Aunt Karen's fruitcake.
從表面上看，這部電影聽起來很棒：美國的甜心瑞茜·威瑟斯彭和美國的聰明人文斯·沃恩作為一對夫婦不得不在圣誕節(jié)拜訪四個凌亂、復(fù)雜和不合適的家庭。但事實證明，這部 rom-com-gone-wrong 充滿了陳詞濫調(diào)，而且感覺比你凱倫阿姨的水果蛋糕還陳舊。
Choice Review: "It's Four Christmases in need of a wedding, or maybe a funeral."
選擇評論：“這是四個圣誕節(jié)，需要一場婚禮，或者一場葬禮。
Fred Claus
弗雷德·克勞斯
And Vaughn is 0-for-2 when it comes to Christmas movies, with his 2007 comedy about Santa's cranky and bitter Scrooge of an older bro failing to earn many laughs...or money.
沃恩 (Vaughn) 在 2007 年的圣誕電影中是 0 比 2 的喜劇，講述了圣誕老人脾氣暴躁、苦澀的守財奴（Scrooge）和一個年長的兄弟未能贏得很多笑聲……或金錢。
Choice Review: "The movie is less ho-ho-ho than uh-oh, or oh-no."
選擇評論：“這部電影不像呃哦，或者哦不。”
Jack Frost
杰克弗羅斯特
Imagine a Christmas movie about a dead father (who died on Christmas Day, by the way, after always traveling for work and not really being present with his family) returning to his son as a snowman who came to life one day. Now imagine thinking that is not a horror movie. Alas, filmmakers believed this was the feel-good family film the world needed, with Michael Keaton starring as the dead-dad-turned-snowman. 1998, man, what a year.
想象一部關(guān)于一位死去的父親（順便說一下，他在圣誕節(jié)那天去世的圣誕電影，在他總是出差而不是真正與家人在一起之后）回到他的兒子身邊，變成了有一天復(fù)活的雪人?，F(xiàn)在想象一下，這不是一部恐怖電影。 las，電影制作人認(rèn)為這是世界需要的感覺良好的家庭電影，邁克爾基頓主演了死去的父親變成的雪人。 1998，伙計，多么美好的一年。
Christmas With the Kranks
與克蘭克斯一起過圣誕節(jié)
While Tim Allen proved to have the holiday spirit with his blockbuster Santa Clause trilogy, the magic wore off for this 2004 family comedy. The concept was simple enough: The Home Improvement star and Jamie Lee Curtis play a couple frantically trying to put together a Christmas event in less than 24 hours after their adult daughter reveals she's going to be returning home after all. Alas, despite Allen and Curtis' comedic talents, there was no salvaging this hammy and clunky Christmas mess and it has the 5 percent Rotten Tomatoes rating to prove it.
蒂姆·艾倫 (Tim Allen) 憑借他的轟動一時的圣誕老人三部曲證明了自己的節(jié)日精神，但這部 2004 年的家庭喜劇的魔力逐漸消退。這個概念很簡單：家裝明星和杰米·李·柯蒂斯扮演一對夫婦，在他們成年的女兒透露她畢竟要回家后不到 24 小時內(nèi)瘋狂地試圖組織一個圣誕節(jié)活動。唉，盡管艾倫和柯蒂斯有喜劇天賦，但還是沒有挽救這個笨拙笨拙的圣誕節(jié)爛攤子，它有 5% 的爛番茄評級來證明這一點。
Choice Review: "Stinks like the unrefrigerated ham its studio sent me as a promotion several months ago."
Bad Santa 2
壞圣誕老人 2
Alternate title for this unnecessary and unfunny sequel to the surprise hit dark comedy starring Billy Bob Thornton? 2 Bad 4 Santa.
這部由比利·鮑伯·松頓主演的出人意料的熱門黑色喜劇的續(xù)集的別名是什么？ 2壞4圣誕老人。
Choice Review: "We have long hoped that there might one day be a sequel. We need to be careful what we wish for."
選擇評論：“我們一直希望有一天會有續(xù)集。我們需要小心我們的愿望。”
Love the Coopers
愛庫珀
Nothing brings the family together during the holidays quite like divorce, right? Desperate for one last perfect Christmas as a fam, Diane Keaton and John Goodman play a couple planning to divorce just after their adult children visit for the holidays. We'll let you guess what happens. The movie wastes a majority of its stacked cast (Olivia Wilde, Anthony Mackie and Alan Arkin, oh my!) and just tries way too hard to hit you in your holiday feels. Example: A dog narrates the movie.
沒有什么比離婚更能讓家人在假期聚在一起了，對吧？黛安·基頓 (Diane Keaton) 和約翰·古德曼 (John Goodman) 扮演了一對夫婦，他們希望在成年子女來度假后就離婚，他們迫切希望一家人度過最后一個完美的圣誕節(jié)。我們會讓你猜會發(fā)生什么。這部電影浪費了大部分演員陣容（奧利維亞·王爾德、安東尼·麥凱和艾倫·阿金，我的天哪！），而且太過努力地想在你的假期中打動你。示例：一只狗在講述電影。
Miracle on 34th Street
第 34 街的奇跡
OK, here's the thing: the 1994 remake isn't a bad movie, it's just a completely unnecessary one. Starring Richard Attenborough, Dylan McDermott, Elizabeth Perkins and Mara Wilson, it doesn't really add anything new or special, which is obvious as the original 1947 still tends to get more airplay all these years later.
好吧，事情是這樣的：1994 年的翻拍版并不是一部糟糕的電影，它只是一部完全沒有必要的電影。由 Richard Attenborough、Dylan McDermott、Elizabeth Perkins 和 Mara Wilson 主演，它并沒有真正添加任何新的或特別的東西，這是顯而易見的，因為這些年之后，最初的 1947 年仍然有更多的播放機會。
Choice Review: "The movie's a slow-moving, overblown, never-better-than-competent rendition of the original."
選擇評論：“這部電影是對原著的緩慢、夸張、再好不過的演繹。”
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
圣誕王子：皇家婚禮
Before you argue, let the record state that we thoroughly enjoyed the first film in the A Christmas Prince franchise (We cannot believe that is an actual thing, but here we are!) for how deliciously low-budget and unintentionally hilarious it was. There's a reason it became an unexpected meme-generator and developed a cult fanbase. HOWEVER, the 2018 sequel was so-bad-it's-bad, not so-bad-it's-good. The Netflix rom-com was lackluster, half-assed and, worst of all, BORING. Therefore we banished it from our queue..
在你爭論之前，讓記錄表明我們非常享受圣誕王子系列中的第一部電影（我們不敢相信這是真實的，但我們就是這樣?。┮驗樗嵌嗝疵牢兜牡皖A(yù)算和無意中的搞笑。它成為意想不到的模因生成器并發(fā)展出狂熱的粉絲群是有原因的。然而，2018 年的續(xù)集太糟糕了，但還算不錯。 Netflix rom-com 乏善可陳，半途而廢，最糟糕的是，很無聊。因此我們將它從我們的隊列中刪除了..
