今天我想問問聽眾朋友,當(dāng)你跟別人發(fā)生分歧的時候,你會怎么處理? 是裝做沒有事情發(fā)生? 是自己生悶氣? 是就此跟朋友絕交? 還是跟對方坐下來好好談?wù)?,努力解決分歧呢? 如果你選擇最后一個解決方案,Bingo! 這就是我們今天要教的習(xí)慣用語:clear the air.
Clear清除,air空氣,連起來to clear the air清除兩人間不愉快的氣氛,其實就是“消除隔閡”的意思。每次我要是和朋友有什么不愉快我都會這么做,clear the air. 坦誠的談?wù)剢栴},其實你們會發(fā)現(xiàn),沒有什么是不能解決的。
說到這,你是不是也有寫電子郵件被誤解的時候? 下面的例子里,一個領(lǐng)導(dǎo)要告訴我們,如果下屬誤解了他的郵件他會怎么做。讓我們來聽聽看:
例句-1:One of my assistants got really upset with me over an e-mail I wrote her. She felt that I was criticizing her for not doing her job right. But my intent was to offer some helpful suggestions. I've invited her out for coffee this afternoon. I'd like to clear the air. I'm hoping to explain what I meant, so that she doesn't feel upset anymore.
這段話是說: 因為我寫的一封電子郵件,我的一名助理很不高興。她以為我是在批評她工作做得不好,但實際上我只是想給她提一些建議。我邀請她下午一起去喝咖啡。我想跟她消除隔閡,解釋一下我真正的意思,希望她不再難過了。
這就是為什么我對寫email特別小心。很多時候一個詞,你寫的是一個意思,別人看就是另一種語氣。所以對我來說,I prefer face-to-face conversation over e-mail. 比起電子郵件,我更喜歡面對面的談話。
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上面我們說到消除隔閡,其實,家庭成員之間的關(guān)系特別微妙,也特別難控制。由于接觸的太多,我們很多時候可能不經(jīng)意就傷害了自己在乎的人。下面就是這樣一個例子。我們來聽一聽:
例句-2:When mom asked me if she could move in with me after dad died, I told her I needed to think about it. It's not that I don't love her. It's just that I live so far away that she wouldn't be able to see her friends or enjoy her life like before. Fortunately, over dinner last night, we clear the air. She realized that her happiness is very important to me.
這段話是說: 爸爸過世后,媽媽問我能不能搬來和我一起住。我告訴她我需要考慮一下。其實,我不是不愛媽媽,而是我住得太遠(yuǎn),搬來跟我一起住,她就沒法向以前那樣去見朋友,像以前那樣享受生活了。還好,昨天吃晚飯時我們消除了隔閡。她意識到,她的快樂對我來說是非常重要的。
真高興聽到這母女倆能消除隔閡。在很多文化里,子女是要照顧年長的父母的。但其實,有時候讓老人離開她熟悉的環(huán)境并不是一件好事。Both parties should be willing to have a frank conversation, it could save everyone from clearing the air later on. 雙方應(yīng)該開誠布公地談?wù)劊@樣日后就不用再去消除隔閡了。