托福寫作如何改進(jìn)轉(zhuǎn)折句

　　托福獨(dú)立作文內(nèi)容充實(shí)邏輯性好、語(yǔ)法準(zhǔn)確是拿到高分的重要因素。在限時(shí)考試中過(guò)于關(guān)注語(yǔ)言，提分效果可能還不如前兩點(diǎn)。在非限時(shí)寫作中，磨煉自己的語(yǔ)言基本功顯得更有長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)意義一些。本文以最常見的轉(zhuǎn)折詞“but”為例，淺談寫轉(zhuǎn)折句子的一些句子改進(jìn)思路考，拋磚引玉。

　　“there be句型”變?yōu)楸粍?dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)

　　試比較

　　1. She used to be indifferent to the outside world, but an interloper changed her.

　　2. Her indifference to the outside world was changed by and interloper.

　　把but后面的句子改為短小插入語(yǔ)

　　試比較

　　1. Driven by an interest in words, Claire kept trying poetry, novelsand literature analyses, but she hardly succeeded in any of these endeavors at the very beginning.

　　2. Driven by an interest in words, Claire kept trying poetry, novels and literature analyses—all with little initial success.

　　把but后面部分改為更緊湊的從句

　　試比較

　　1. It was meant to be a brief parting, but it turned into a long, lingering one.

　　2. What was meant to be a brief parting turned into a long, lingering one.

　　第二句讀起來(lái)更加集中、緊湊，并且去掉了"It was, but it…”等雞肋部分。

　　積累一些可能替換but的連接詞

　　e.g. however/nonetheless/nevertheless/yet/whereas/while...

　　試比較

　　1. Once arriving home, she starts to review all the notes, not necessarily because the teacher requires her to do so,but because she encourages herself to study hard.

　　2. Once arriving home,she starts to review all the notes, as much from the requirement of the teacher,as from herself-encouragement.

　　總結(jié)

　　對(duì)于but這一最為常見的轉(zhuǎn)折，我們可以從“是否可以直接去掉?是否可以改為插入語(yǔ)等句子成分?是否可以改為更為緊湊的從句?是否有其他替換表達(dá)?”這個(gè)方面進(jìn)行思考。

　　但應(yīng)該指出，應(yīng)該建立在“自己有把握判斷原句與改進(jìn)后句子的風(fēng)格與質(zhì)量”的基礎(chǔ)上進(jìn)行。有時(shí)候，不一定改的就比原句更好，短的不一定就更簡(jiǎn)潔。