雅思寫作中替換詞的運(yùn)用方法詳解
能夠恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂靡恍┓浅Ｓ迷~匯固然是語言能力的體現(xiàn)。然而，不少同學(xué)對(duì)一些常見詞的含義尚不能精準(zhǔn)把握，更不能夠正確地使用那些非常用詞。很多考生僅能通過中文釋義去機(jī)械地套用詞匯，寫出來的文章必定是地地道道“中國范”，只能讓讀者一頭霧水，不知所云。
本文將結(jié)合雅思寫作真題，以學(xué)生習(xí)作當(dāng)中的典型錯(cuò)誤為例，為同學(xué)們梳理雅思寫作，尤其是開頭段寫作當(dāng)中詞匯使用的基本原則和禁忌。
問題一：原搬照抄
有些同學(xué)不能用自己的詞匯去解釋題目的觀點(diǎn)，簡單地復(fù)制題干詞匯，導(dǎo)致復(fù)述不足而扣分。
Writing Topic 1:Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
題干理解：有些人建議國家自力更生養(yǎng)活本國人民，進(jìn)口食品越少越好。是否同意?
學(xué)生習(xí)作：The question of whether a state should attempt to produce all food for the people with as little importing food as possible has been the focus of current topic. Although the development of agriculture should be encouraged and supported, we could not overlook the importance of the import from other countries. I will discuss the topic focusing on the factors related to the finance, polity and the individuals.
評(píng)論：該生在開頭段并沒有對(duì)題干當(dāng)中的核心詞(produce all the food, little importing food)進(jìn)行有效替換，導(dǎo)致重復(fù)表達(dá)?！秳蜓潘肌废盗兄械目脊僭u(píng)語針對(duì)這類問題有過多次強(qiáng)調(diào)，屬于扣分點(diǎn)。其次，本文出現(xiàn)多處不恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯使用，降低了表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確性。如：import的名詞含義是“進(jìn)口商品”，而我們是在討論“進(jìn)口”的重要性還是“進(jìn)口糧食”的重要性?還有focusing可以修飾topic嗎?polity(政體)與individuals(個(gè)人)可以并列嗎?
修改過后：The question of whether a state should solely rely on its own food industry while allowing as little imported food as possible has been the focus of current discussion. Although the agricultural development should be encouraged and supported, we should not overlook the importance of the international food trade, which is related to a county’s finance, politics and the people.
再評(píng)論：老師保留了原文的基本框架，僅從詞匯上做了些調(diào)整。注意動(dòng)詞的替換：solely rely on its own food industry(僅僅依靠自己的食品產(chǎn)業(yè))不就是produce all the food的意思嗎?agricultural development屬于“生產(chǎn)食品”的上位概念，它包含了本國的食品生產(chǎn)，所以可以用作替換詞。is related to屬于邏輯性很強(qiáng)的動(dòng)詞結(jié)構(gòu)，通過調(diào)整為定語從句，使表達(dá)更有針對(duì)性，強(qiáng)調(diào)國際食品貿(mào)易(importing food)對(duì)于一個(gè)國家的重要性。
問題二：望文生義
有些同學(xué)僅根據(jù)詞匯的中文釋義找出中文中對(duì)應(yīng)的“近義詞”再翻譯成英文。這樣的詞匯替換只能使自己的表達(dá)與原文相去甚遠(yuǎn)。
Writing Topic 2:In universities and schools, female students are encouraged to learn some subjects of arts. However, male students are encouraged to study science and technology. Why does this happen? How will this trend develop in the future? 題干理解：大中小學(xué)都鼓勵(lì)女生學(xué)文，男生學(xué)理。為什么這樣?未來如何發(fā)展?
學(xué)生習(xí)作：Recently, the question which subject should be chosen by the students in different genders has been frequently brought to spotlight. Some people think girls should to learn social science and boys always be good at science and technology. I will discuss the situation focus on the areas between their physical and job employment.
評(píng)論：學(xué)科的替換詞有disciplines, courses, majors等等。而subject指的是某個(gè)具體科目，不能泛指學(xué)文或者學(xué)理。gender只有兩個(gè)，習(xí)慣上寫成between two genders。brought to spotlight是不規(guī)范的英文表達(dá)，盡管廣泛用于各種寫作模板。be good at表示客觀上擅長做某事，而題目中are encouraged to更體現(xiàn)人們的主觀觀念，鼓勵(lì)提倡做某事，因此這一替換也是不準(zhǔn)確的。between … and表示兩者之間，而不是并列的關(guān)系。physical屬于評(píng)分細(xì)節(jié)中所述的詞形錯(cuò)誤(errors of word formation), 這里不能單獨(dú)使用形容詞。
修改過后：The question about the preference of majors, either perceived or actual, between two genders has been in the spotlight. Some people think girls should attend courses of arts while boys are supposed to learn science and technology. I think the situation is related to the differences between the male and female in their physical traits and social roles.
再評(píng)論：在尊重原文的基礎(chǔ)上，老師用preference(偏好)來總結(jié)題干當(dāng)中的爭議核心，即男女生學(xué)什么科目的問題。通過后置定語either perceived or actual來表示這種所謂的“偏科”可能真實(shí)存在，也可能只是人們的臆斷。末尾的physical traits(生理特征)，social roles(社會(huì)角色)都是同學(xué)們討論兩性平等(或不平等)時(shí)經(jīng)常采用的表達(dá)?？梢姡谠~匯使用上，高端大氣只是一方面;更重要的是做到嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)、恰當(dāng)、準(zhǔn)確。
問題三：似是而非
還有一些同學(xué)在學(xué)習(xí)、使用英文詞匯時(shí)不注意區(qū)分不同詞匯在含義上的細(xì)微差別，籠統(tǒng)地歸為“同義詞”進(jìn)行混用。雖然有些詞匯在使用中存在“交集”，但并不意味著在任何場合都可以無條件替換。
Writing Topic 3:Developments in technology are causing many environmental problems. Some people think that people should choose a simpler way of life. Others think that we should use technology to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (2015.05.09)
題干理解：科技進(jìn)步造成了環(huán)境問題。有人認(rèn)為應(yīng)該簡單生活(少用科技)，而其他人認(rèn)為應(yīng)該用科技來解決環(huán)境問題。討論雙方觀點(diǎn)，給出自己的意見。
學(xué)生習(xí)作：Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerning about growing environmental issues resulted from the application of modern technology. However, whether we should continue to utilize the technology has caused a heated debate. My view is that to exploit new technology has its weakness but its importance should not be denied.
評(píng)論：
concern作為動(dòng)詞表示“關(guān)心、關(guān)注”使用時(shí)往往以被動(dòng)式出現(xiàn)，即be concerned with/about。
issue是一個(gè)中性的詞，可以是好事也可以是壞事。用在這里不能清晰表達(dá)problem的負(fù)面含義。有些同學(xué)可能會(huì)用dilemma來替換problem, 殊不知前者指的是“進(jìn)退兩難的境地”，并不能與environmental搭配。
作者用application, utilize等詞簡單地替換了use(使用)，但是無法突出“過度使用”科技所帶來的后果。Weakness的含義過于籠統(tǒng)，并不能清楚交代科技所帶來的問題具體是什么。
deny表示“矢口否認(rèn)”，“不承認(rèn)”的意思。而作者想表達(dá)的意思應(yīng)該是ignore, neglect(忽視，忽略)。由此可見，很多同學(xué)對(duì)一些“熟詞”詞義掌握得不夠精準(zhǔn)，導(dǎo)致南轅北轍。
修改過后：Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the growing threat posed by the abuse of modern technology. The issue of whether we should continue to rely on technology to ease the situation has been frequently raised in public and scholarly discourses. My view is that despite of the harms caused by modern technology, we should never overlook its importance in exploiting new energies and securing ecosystems around the world.
再評(píng)論：
problem可以替換成threat, danger, damage, 后面加過去分詞進(jìn)行修飾：brought by, caused by, posed by(由……所帶來、導(dǎo)致的)。
abuse表示“濫用”，這個(gè)詞增加了表達(dá)的嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)性。潛臺(tái)詞是：合理使用科技不會(huì)帶來這些問題。ease the situation這一指代巧妙地避開了solve environmental problem這個(gè)重復(fù)出現(xiàn)的關(guān)鍵詞，使行文更簡練。
public and scholarly discourses是比較正式的表達(dá)，需要根據(jù)題目類型酌情使用。despite of表示讓步，體現(xiàn)觀點(diǎn)的辯證性。最后提出自己的觀點(diǎn)，即全文核心論點(diǎn)時(shí)，將討論范圍明確固定在new energies和ecosystem范圍內(nèi)，既使觀點(diǎn)更加清晰具體，又為下文主題段展開做好了鋪墊。
另外注意動(dòng)詞exploit與secure的動(dòng)賓搭配。
問題四：恣意妄為
Writing Topic 4:Some think that developing countries should invite large foreign companies to open offices and factories to foster their economies. Others think these countries should keep large companies out and develop their own ones instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
題干理解：有些人認(rèn)為發(fā)展中國家應(yīng)該引進(jìn)外國公司來繁榮經(jīng)濟(jì)，其他人認(rèn)為應(yīng)該排斥外國公司發(fā)展自己的企業(yè)。討論雙方觀點(diǎn)，給出自己的意見。
學(xué)生習(xí)作：With the implementation of “opening-up policy”, the question whether the countries with economic deficiencies should grant permissions and licences to foreign macrocephalic enterprises to develop their economies by establishing manufacturers and overseas franchises in their territory has been asked by the mass. Although the authorities can be fortified from the foreign companies, we cannot overlook the devastating effect of it. On the contrary, the dissidents suggest that only by renaissance of their national economy without inviting the help from the foreigners can they succeed.
評(píng)論：
該同學(xué)的詞匯量不容小覷，但是這些“華麗”的辭藻卻經(jīng)不起推敲。Implementation與policy的搭配讓人如鯁在喉。deficiencies指(營養(yǎng))缺乏或者先天不足(癡呆兒)而非經(jīng)濟(jì)落后。permissions, licences都在表達(dá)同樣的意思：允許。
macrocephalic這詞連本土人士也很少使用。manufacturer指生產(chǎn)商而不是工廠，franchise是授權(quán)代理而不是分支機(jī)構(gòu)。territory是國家領(lǐng)土(政治稱謂)，authorities是政府，這兩個(gè)都不能替換國家，更不能be fortified(加固防御)。
devastating是毀滅性的，到達(dá)最嚴(yán)重的程度。dissidents是政治異見人士，而非反對(duì)者。renaissance是文藝復(fù)興，浴火重生。
invite好朋友可以，但是怎么能“邀請(qǐng)幫助”呢?
可見，一段看似“才華橫溢”的開頭，實(shí)則漏洞百出，讓人啼笑皆非。對(duì)于這些“有詞就是任性”的同學(xué)，應(yīng)該鼓勵(lì)他們回歸語言的本質(zhì)，多一份真誠，少一份浮夸。
通過以上四個(gè)例子，我們可以感受到詞匯替換對(duì)于雅思寫作的重要意義。如果沒有大量的替換詞、替換結(jié)構(gòu)的積累，開頭的幾句話很可能就成為考生的“墳場”。當(dāng)你搜腸刮肚、尋章摘句卻又欲言又止的時(shí)候，別別扭扭地剛把開頭段寫完的時(shí)候，成竹在胸的考生早已洋洋灑灑百十字，坐擁半壁江山了。
