GRE高分Argument作文范文寫法分析
實(shí)例分析
The following appeared as part of an article in a daily newspaper:
"Most companies would agree that as the risk of physical injury occurring on the job increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer: they could thus reduce their payroll expenses and save money."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
參考范文
This argument states that it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer because by making the workplace safer then lower wages could be paid to employees. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the list of physical injury increases, the wages paid to employees should also increase. However, there are several assumptions that may not necessarily apply to this argument. For example, the costs associated with making the workplace safe must outweigh the increased payroll expenses due to hazardous conditions. Also, one must look at the plausability of improving the work environment. And finally, because most companies agree that as the risk of injury increases so will wages doesn’t necessarily mean that the all companies which have hazardous work environments agree.
The first issue to be addressed is whether increased labor costs justify large capital expenditures to improve the work environment. Clearly one could argue that if making the workplace safe would cost an exorbitant amount of money in comparison to leaving the workplace as is and paying slightly increased wages than it would not make sense to improve the work environment. For example, if making the workplace safe would cost $100 million versus additional payroll expenses of only $5,000 per year, it would make financial sense to simply pay the increased wages. No business or business owner with any sense would pay all that extra money just to save a couple dollars and improve employee health and relations. To consider this, a cost benefit analysis must be made. I also feel that although a cost benefit analysis should be the determining factor with regard to these decisions making financial sense, it may not be the determining factor with regard to making social, moral and ethical sense.
This argument also relies on the idea that companies solely use financial sense in analysing improving the work environment. This is not the case. Companies look at other considerations such as the negative social ramifications of high on-job injuries. For example, Toyota spends large amounts of money improving its environment because while its goal is to be profitable, it also prides itself on high employee morale and an almost perfectly safe work environment. However, Toyota finds that it can do both, as by improving employee health and employee relations they are guaranteed a more motivated staff, and hence a more efficient staff; this guarantees more money for the business as well as more safety for the employees.
Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.
In conclusion, while at first it may seem to make financial sense to improve the safety of the work environment sometimes it truly does not make financial sense. Furthermore, financial sense may not be the only issue a company faces. Other types of analyses must be made such as the social ramifications of an unsafe work environment and the overall ability of a company to improve that environment (i.e., coal mine). Before any decision is made, all this things must be considered, not simply the reduction of payroll expenses.
思路講解
1. 這篇GRE作文首先在字?jǐn)?shù)高達(dá)599words, GRE考試雖然沒有對寫作提出明確的字?jǐn)?shù)要求,但其評分時偏好字?jǐn)?shù)更多的文章卻也是不爭的事實(shí)。
2. 這篇文章在結(jié)構(gòu)上采取了標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的五段式寫法,首段、末端,中間三段,整體結(jié)構(gòu)沒有出現(xiàn)頭重腳輕的問題,文章平衡性極佳。
3. 整篇文章在詞句運(yùn)用上極為出彩,沒有出現(xiàn)陳詞濫調(diào)、用詞重復(fù)或堆砌句子的問題。
范文用法
對于這篇文章,最為錯誤的用法無疑就是把整篇文章囫圇吞棗一般死記硬背下來,然后上了考場進(jìn)行大段默寫。假如考生這么做,一個被判雷同抄襲扣甚至取消成績的懲罰在所難免。當(dāng)然大家對于其中一些精彩用詞和句子也絕對不能直接照搬,否則同樣有一定風(fēng)險。正確做法是首先理解文章優(yōu)勢,了解其在邏輯論述和遣詞造句上的精妙之處,然后結(jié)合自己的語言對文章進(jìn)行改良,這樣才能最大程度上吸收到這篇文章的精華所在。
GRE高分范文這么用才有收獲
看過上面的例子,接下來小編就為大家具體介紹GRE高分范文的正確用法。
1. 首先,大家需要對范文的來源進(jìn)行篩選和甄別。市面上打著高分滿分GRE范文幌子的資料很多,但其中有不少是濫竽充數(shù)之輩,所選用的文章大多本身質(zhì)量低劣根本稱不上范文。為了避免學(xué)習(xí)到這些假貨反而受到不良影響,大家首先需要找到真正高品質(zhì)的范文資源。一般來說,官方或是權(quán)威機(jī)構(gòu)出品的資料里,包含的范文質(zhì)量較高,比如官方出品的OG指南中,涉及寫作部分就有許多真正意義上的高分范文。另外諸如曼哈頓和MAGOOSH之類國外權(quán)威考試機(jī)構(gòu)的復(fù)習(xí)資料中,也有不少優(yōu)質(zhì)范文。另外,許多權(quán)威教學(xué)機(jī)構(gòu)都有自己的在線工具和??架浖?,比如上面提到的兩家機(jī)構(gòu),還有官方??架浖P2,在作文部分都會配置一到兩篇高分范文給大家參考,這些文章也是極好的。
2. 其次,范文中的好詞妙句大家要消化改寫后再使用。就如同在上文真題實(shí)例分析中所說,再好的句子,也絕對沒有直接拿來就用的道理,一方面有雷同風(fēng)險,另一方面每個人的語言用詞習(xí)慣都有所不同,強(qiáng)行記憶和自己習(xí)慣不符的句子很容易出現(xiàn)記憶混淆,背誦錯誤的問題。所以,考生如果看到一些比較優(yōu)秀的句子,那么不妨在不影響其質(zhì)量的情況下,根據(jù)自身的寫作風(fēng)格稍作一些加工調(diào)整,消化吸收后再拿出來用到自己的文章中。
3. 再次,面對優(yōu)秀范文,切忌整篇文章死記硬背。一個原因上面說過,容易被判雷同,另一個原因則是對記憶力消耗太大,每個人的記憶力都是有限的,而GRE作文題目又?jǐn)?shù)量眾多,考生如果看到一篇好文章就想要整個背下來,那么無論記性多好都會是件耗時費(fèi)力的辛苦活,付出和回報完全不成比例。正確做法是學(xué)習(xí)這些文章的寫作思路。GRE作文Argument是駁論文,要求找漏洞發(fā)現(xiàn)邏輯問題,這是需要一定技巧的,哪些是主要漏洞,如何展開駁論的層次層層遞進(jìn),大家都可以通過范文來進(jìn)行學(xué)習(xí),這也是范文真正的價值所在。
4. 最后,范文中常會使用到一些不錯的素材。素材本身可能并不出奇,但恰到好處的使用卻能夠?yàn)檎恼略龉馓聿?。考生不要迷信高分范文里的素材,簡單粗暴地直接背素材,正確做法是學(xué)習(xí)能夠讓素材具備說服力的使用方法,比如哪些素材用在什么類型的題目,證明哪些觀點(diǎn)時才能發(fā)揮最大作用。學(xué)會這種素材和題目的搭配才是核心關(guān)鍵。
GRE高分范文錯誤用法注意要點(diǎn)講解
最后小編要特別提醒大家關(guān)于GRE高分范文的常見使用誤區(qū)??赡苡行┛忌羞^這種經(jīng)歷,明明用了高分范文來復(fù)習(xí),結(jié)果作文成績卻不升反降。會出現(xiàn)這種情況,正是因?yàn)榇蠹以谟梅ㄉ铣霈F(xiàn)了錯誤。考生需要特別注意的范文錯誤用法主要有兩種,上文也有所提及,一個是原文照抄,這是大忌,后果也非常嚴(yán)重,絕對不能犯這種錯誤。另一個是思路照搬,看到相似題目不管三七二十一直接套用范文的思路。GRE作文中存在大量形似神異的題目,看起來說的是同一件事,用的事例也相近,但作文的寫作要求和側(cè)重點(diǎn)卻有很大區(qū)別。大家一定要仔細(xì)審題后再確定寫作思路,切忌直接套用范文的寫作套路,一旦出現(xiàn)張冠李戴的情況,最后得分往往會慘不忍睹。
綜上所述,GRE寫作備考學(xué)習(xí)范文不失為一種高效的復(fù)習(xí)方法,但坦途之中其實(shí)也暗藏殺機(jī),希望大家都能夠掌握看范文學(xué)寫作的正確方法,切實(shí)有效地提升自己的寫作水平,在考試中寫出高分佳作。