新編大學(xué)英語第三冊(cè)u(píng)nit2 Text B: Men's Liberation from Etiquette

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UNIT 2 AFTER-CLASS READING 1; New College English (II)

Men's Liberation from Etiquette

1 In the 1960s, the U.S.A. went through a social revolution commonly referred to as the women's liberation movement. One of the goals of this movement was to promote the idea that women are equal to men in their ability to learn and to succeed in almost any occupation. The movement has benefited women in many ways, especially in terms of job opportunity and advancement. But it has also created great confusion regarding manners. Formerly, men were considered the stronger and the dominant sex, so etiquette required them to adopt a protective attitude toward the so-called weaker sex. That meant helping women on and off with their coats, lighting their cigarettes, opening doors for them, allowing them to exit from elevators first, and so on. Today, American women, who outlive men by seven years, do not consider themselves the weaker sex and do not generally feel in need of male protection. Their self-sufficient attitude has led men to wonder whether the traditional etiquette is still appropriate or whether it will, in fact, offend independent, confident American women. Most men continue to perform the traditional courtesies, but both sexes are more casual about them. If a man does not help his date into and out of her chair in a restaurant, no one will think he's rude.

2 Traditionally, when a man invited a woman out on a date, he picked her up at her home, paid all the expenses for the evening, and took her home at the end of the evening. Prior to women's liberation, the woman was expected to sit at home by the phone and wait and hope for the man of her dreams to call her. Today's liberated woman may take the initiative in suggesting an evening together by inviting a man she likes to a party, to a home-cooked meal, or to an evening at the theater. If she does the inviting, she pays for at least part of the evening's expenses. Often, a man and woman who are friends but not romantically involved go out together Dutch treat, which means that each person pays his or her own way.

3 Today, many men working in the U.S.A. have a female boss. Men who come from countries in which the woman's place is still in the home may find it difficult to take orders from a woman. But in the U.S.A., 44% of the work force is female, and many women are judges, doctors, company presidents, college presidents, and entrepreneurs. It is important for men to respect a person who holds a position of responsibility and authority, whether that person is male or female. To treat a woman as inferior just because she is female is not only insulting but also out of step with contemporary American culture.

4 One of the blessings for men in women's liberation, according to the feminist magazine Ms., is that men are no longer obliged to treat women according to the old-fashioned rules.

5 "Goodbye Emily, Goodbye Amy," says Jane Trahey in an article on the new manners. Ms. Trahey declares that a perfectly able woman no longer has to act helpless in public. She no longer need allow a man to steer her about by the elbow, pull out chairs, open doors, and otherwise act as if he were dealing with a dummy.

6 Ms. Trahey points out that women do not need help getting in and out of cars. "Women get in and out of cars twenty times a day with babies and dogs. Surely they can get out by themselves at night just as easily."

7 She also says there is no reason why a man should walk on the outside of a woman on the sidewalk. "Historically, the man walked on the inside so he caught the garbage thrown out of a window. Today a man is supposed to walk on the outside. A man should walk where he wants to. So should a woman. If, out of love and respect, he actually wants to take the blows, he should walk on the inside because that's where muggers are all hiding these days."

8 As far as manners are concerned, I suppose I've always been a feminist. Over the years, out of an innate sense of respect, I imagine, I have refused to treat women as fragile beings in need of protection.

9 It is usually easier to follow rules of social conduct than to depend on one's own taste. But rules may be safely broken, of course, by those of us with the gift of natural grace. For example, when a man and woman are led to their table in a restaurant and the waiter pulls out a chair, the woman is expected to sit in the chair. That is according to Ms. Amy Vanderbilt. I have always done it the other way, according to my wife.

10 It came up only the other night. I followed the hostess to the table, and when she pulled the chair out I sat on it, quite naturally, since it happened to be the chair I wanted to sit in. I had the best view of the boats.

11 "Well," my wife said, when the hostess had gone, "you did it again."

12 "Did what?" I asked, utterly baffled.

13 "Took the chair."

14 Actually, since I'd walked through the restaurant ahead of my wife, it would have been awkward, I should think, not to have taken the chair. I had got there first, after all.

15 Also, it has always been my custom to get in a car first, and let the woman get in by herself. This is a courtesy I insist on as the stronger sex, out of love and respect. In times like these, there are muggers lurking about. It would be foolhardy indeed to put a woman in a car and then shut the door on her, leaving her at the mercy of some lout who might well be crouching in the back seat.