英語沙龍十年合集珍藏版第三輯Hungry for Your Love

Hungry for Your Love

 

It is cold, so bitter cold on this dark winter day in1942. But it is no different from any other day in this Nazi concentration camp. I am almost dead, surviving from day to day, from hour to hour, ever since I was taken from my home and brought here with tens of thousands of other Jews. Will I still be alive tomorrow？Will I be taken to the gas chamber¹⁾ tonight？

Back and forth next to the barbed wire fence trying to keep my emaciated²⁾ body warm. I am hungry but I have been hungry for longer than I want to remember. I am always hungry. Edible³⁾ food seems like a dream. Each day, as more of us disappear, the hungry past seems like a mere dream, and I sink deeper and deeper into despair.

Suddenly, I notice a young girl walking past on the other side of the barbed wire. She stops and looks at me with sad eyes that seems to say that she understands, that she too cannot fathom⁴⁾ why I am here. I want to look away, oddly^5） ashamed for this stranger to see me like this, but I cannot tear my eyes from hers.

Then she reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a red apple. Oh, how long has it been since I have seen one.She looks cautiously to the left and to the right and then with smile of triumph quickly throws the apple over the fence. I run to pick it up, holding it in my trembling frozen fingers. In my world of death this apple is an expression of life, of love. I glance up in time to see the girl disappearing into the distance.

The next day I cannot help myself--I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fence.

And again she comes. And again she brings me an apple flinging it over the fence with that same sweet smile.

This time I catch it and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle.

For seven months we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes just an apple. One day I hear frightening news：we‘re being shipped to another camp.

The next day when I greet her my heart is breaking and I can barely speak as I say what must be said：“Don’ t bring me an apple tomorrow. ”I tell her. “I am being sent to another camp. ”Turning before I lose all my control I run away from the fence. I cannot bear to look back.

Months pass and the nightmare⁶⁾ continues. But the memory of this girl sustains⁷⁾ me through the terror, the pain, the hopelessness. Over and over in my mind, I see her face, her kind eyes, I hear her gentle words, I taste those apples.

And then one day just like that the nightmare is over. The war has ended. Those of us who are still alive are freed. I have lost everything that was precious to me including my family. But I still have the memory of this girl, a memory I carry in my heart and gives me the will to go on as I move to America to start a new life.

Years pass. It is 1957. I am living in New York City. A friend convinces me to go on a blind date with a lady of his. Reluctantly, I agree. But she is nice, this woman named Roma, and like me she is an immigrant so we have at least that in common.

“Where were you during the war？”Roma asks me gently in that delicate way immigrants ask one another questions about those years.

“I was in a concentration camp in Germany, ”I reply.

Roma gets a faraway look in her eyes, as if she is remembering something painful yet sweet.

“What is it？”I ask.

“I am just thinking about something from my past, Herman, ”Roma explains in a voice suddenly very soft. “You see, when I was a young girl I lived near a concentration camp. There was a boy there, a prisoner and for a long while I used to visit him every day. I remember I used to bring him apples. I would throw the apple over the fence and he would be so happy. ”

Roma sighs heavily and continues, “It is hard to describe how we felt about each other--after all we were young and we only exchanged a few words when we could--but I can tell you there was much love there. I assume he was killed like so many others. But I cannot bear to think that, and so I try to remember him as he was for those months we were given together. ”

With my heart pounding so loudly, I look directly at Roma and ask, “And did that boy say to you one day‘Do not bring me an apple tomorrow. I am being sent to another camp ’？”

“Why yes, ”Roma responds her voice trembling.

“But Herman, how on earth could you possibly know that？”

I take her hands in mine and answer, “Because I was that young boy, Roma. ”

For many moments, there is only silence. We can not take our eyes from each other, and as the veils of time lift, we recognize the soul behind the eyes, the dear friend we once love so much, whom we have never stopped loving, whom we have never stopped remembering.

Finally, I speak：“Look, Roma, I was separated from you once, and I don’ t ever want to be separated from you again. Now I am free, and I wan t to be together with you forever. Dear will you marry me？”

I see the same twinkle in her eyes that I used to see as Roma says, “Yes I will marry you. ”

Almost forty years have passed since that day when I found my Roma again. Destiny brought us together the first time during the war to show me a promise of hope, and now it had reunited us to fulfill that promise.

Valentine’s Day 1996. I bring Roma to the Oprah Winfrey Show to honor her on national television. I want to tell her in front of the millions of the people what I feel in my heart every day：

“Darling you feed me in the concentration camp when I was hungry. And I am still hungry, for something I will never get enough of：I am only hungry for your love. ”

 

  □by Herman and Roma Rosenblat

  渴望得到你的愛

 

１９４２年黑暗冬季的一天, 天氣格外寒冷。但在納粹集中營內這與別的日子并無什么差別。自從把我從家中帶走并隨著其他數以萬計的猶太人被帶到這兒以來, 我已瀕臨死亡, 只能活一天算一天, 活一小時算一小時。明天我還會活著嗎？今晚我會不會被帶到毒氣室去？

我沿著鐵絲網來回走, 想暖和一下我瘦弱的身體。我很餓, 餓得太久了, 我都不想去記有多長時間了。我總是很餓。可吃的食物就像個夢。每天隨著我們中更多人的消失, 這種饑餓也只不過是一場夢而已, 我也一天天地深陷絕望之中。

突然, 我看到一個小女孩從鐵絲網那邊走來。她停了下來并用憂傷的眼睛看著我, 好像在說她理解我的感受, 但也不明白我為什么會在這兒。我想把目光挪開, 被一個陌生人這樣打量, 我感到特別害臊, 但我的眼睛無法從她身上移開。

這時她把手伸進口袋, 掏出一個紅蘋果。噢, 我有多久沒看到這樣的蘋果了！她非常謹慎地左右看看, 然后帶著勝利的微笑, 一下子把它拋過鐵柵欄。我跑過去把它撿起來, 用我顫抖著的凍僵的手捧著它。在這充滿死亡的世界中, 這蘋果無疑表達的是生和愛。我抬頭瞥見那女孩在遠處消失。

第二天, 我無法控制自己, 鬼使神差地在同一時間又來到靠近鐵絲網的同一地點。

她真地又來了。她又一次給我?guī)砹颂O果, 并且?guī)е瑯拥奶鹈畚⑿Π阉鼟佭^了鐵絲網柵欄。

這次我接住了它, 并且捧著讓她看。她朝我眨眨眼。

接下來的７個月我們就這樣相會。有時我們相互交談幾句。有時她只是給我送個蘋果。一天, 我聽到了一個駭人的消息：我們將被押往另外一個集中營。

第二天, 當我向她問候時我的心都要碎了, 我勉強對她說了如下我必須要說的話：“明天別再給我蘋果了。”我告訴她說, “我將被押往另外一個集中營。”在我完全失去控制前我轉身從柵欄旁跑開了。我實在不忍心再回頭看。

一晃過了數月, 噩夢依然在持續(xù)。但對這小姑娘的回憶支撐著我度過了那恐怖、痛苦和失望的歲月。在我的腦海中, 我一次又一次地看到她的面容, 她那雙善良的眼睛, 聽到她溫柔的話語, 品嘗那些蘋果。

噩夢終有終結的一天。戰(zhàn)爭結束了。我們這些幸存下來的人得到了自由。我已失去了包括我的家庭在內的所有珍貴的東西。但我仍然記著這位小姑娘, 這記憶一直留在我的心底, 并在我移居美國后依然激勵著我好好地生活下去。

歲月流逝。轉眼到了1957年。我住在紐約。我的一個朋友勸說我和他的一個女朋友進行初次約會。我勉強答應下來。她人還不錯, 叫羅瑪, 像我一樣, 她也是移民, 因此至少在這一點上我們存在著共同點。

“戰(zhàn)爭期間你在哪兒？”羅瑪用移民相互之間問及那段歲月所特有的體貼方式柔聲細語地問道。

“我在德國的集中營里, ”我答道。

羅瑪陷入了遐想之中, 好像回憶起了某件痛苦而又甜蜜的事情。

“你怎么了？”我問她。

“我只是在想我過去的一些事情, 赫爾曼。”羅瑪用一種突然變得輕柔的語氣解釋道。“你知道, 我小的時候住在集中營附近。那兒有一個男孩, 一個小囚犯, 有很長一段時間我每天都去看他。我記得我常常給他帶去蘋果。我經常把蘋果從鐵絲網上扔過去, 那時他是多么開心。”

羅瑪重重地嘆了一口氣接著又說道：“很難描述當時我們對彼此的感覺--畢竟我們那時還很小, 情況允許時我們也只是相互談上幾句--但我可以告訴你, 這其中包含著很多愛。我猜他可能像許多其他人一樣被殺掉了。但我實在不忍心這么想, 所以我老想著我們在一起相處的那幾個月里他的樣子。”

我的心猛地一下子劇烈地跳動起來。我凝視著她問, “是不是那男孩有一天對你說‘明天別給我?guī)O果了。我將被押往另外一個集中營。’？”

“哎, 是啊, ”羅瑪以顫抖的嗓音應道。

“但是赫爾曼, 你怎么會知道這事的？”

我握著她的手答道, “因為我就是那個小男孩, 羅瑪。”

接下來便是長時間的靜默。隨著時間面紗的揭開, 我們再也沒能把眼睛從對方身上挪開, 我們認出了隱藏于眼光后的那顆心, 我們曾是深深愛戀的朋友, 我們從未停止過愛戀, 我們從未停止思念對方。

最后, 我說, “這樣, 羅瑪, 我與你分離過一次, 但我再也不想與你分離了。如今我獲得了自由, 我希望永遠與你呆在一起。親愛的, 嫁給我好嗎？”

當羅瑪說話時我又一次看到了過去曾在她眼睛中看到的那種閃亮, “好的, 我嫁給你。”

自從我找到了我的羅瑪至今已近40年。在戰(zhàn)爭年代命運首次使我們相聚在一起, 同時給了我希望的諾言, 而如今它又使我們團聚履行了這一諾言。

１９９６年的情人節(jié)。我?guī)е_瑪去參加奧普拉·溫弗里的節(jié)目, 在這個全國性電視節(jié)目中我向她表示敬意。我想在數百萬觀眾面前告訴她我心里一直想說的話：

“親愛的, 當我在集中營里非常饑餓時, 是你給我送來了吃的。而如今我仍然很饑餓, 我渴望得到那種我永遠也不會滿足的東西, 那就是：我只渴望得到你的愛。”

 

NOTE 注釋：

 

1.      chamber [5tFeimbE] n. 室, 房間

2.      emaciated [I5meIFIeItId] adj. 瘦弱的, 衰弱的

3.      edible [5edibl] adj. 可食用的

4.      fathom [5fAT(E)m] vt. 推測；明白

5.      oddly [5RdlI] adv. 奇怪地

6.      nightmare [5naItmeE(r)] n. 夢魘, 惡夢

7.      sustain [sEs5tein] vt. 支撐