How the Americans View Friendship
Steve and Yaser first met in their chemistry class at an American university.Yaser was an international student from Jordon.He wanted to learn more about American culture and hoped that he and Steve would become good friends.At first,Steve seemed very friendly.He always greeted Yaser warmly before class.Sometimes he offered to study with Yaser.He even invited Yaser to eat lunch with him.But after the semester1) was over,Steve seemed more distant.The two former classmates didn't see each other very much at school.One day Yaser decided to call Steve.Steve didn't seem very interested in talking to him.Yaser was hurt by Steve's change of attitude.“Steve said we were friends,”Yaser complained,“and I thought friends were friends for ever.”Yaser is a little confused.As foreigner,he doesn't understand the way American view friendship.Americans use the word “friend” in a very general way.They may call both casual acquaintances2) and close companions “friends.” These friendships are based on common interests.When the shared activity ends,the friendship may fade3).Now as Steve and Yaser are no longer classmates,their “friendship” has changed.In some cultures friendship means a strong life-long bond between two people.In these cultures friendships develop slowly,since they are built to last.American society is one of rapid change.Studies show that one out of five American families moves every year.American friendships develop quickly,and they may change just as quickly.People from the United States may at first seem friendly.Americans often chat easily with strangers.But American friendliness is not always an offer of true friendship.After an experience like Yaser's people who've been in this country for only a few months may consider Americans to be fickle.Learning how Americans view friendship can help non-Americans avoid misunderstandings.It can also help them make friends the American way.
美 國(guó) 人 的 友 誼 觀
史蒂夫和亞瑟第一次見面是在美國(guó)一所大學(xué)的化學(xué)課上。亞瑟是來(lái)自約旦的外國(guó)留學(xué)生。他想更多地了解美國(guó)文化,并希望能和史蒂夫成為好友。起初,史蒂夫顯得很友好。上課前他總是熱情地與亞瑟打招呼。有時(shí)他主動(dòng)提出與亞瑟一起學(xué)習(xí),甚至還邀請(qǐng)亞瑟共進(jìn)午餐。但學(xué)期結(jié)束后,史蒂夫顯得比較冷淡了。這兩位先前的同班同學(xué)在學(xué)校不再經(jīng)常見面。有一天,亞瑟決定給史蒂夫打個(gè)電話,可史蒂夫?qū)εc其交談似乎不太感興趣。史蒂夫態(tài)度的改變讓亞瑟感到受了傷害。“史蒂夫說(shuō)過(guò)我們是好朋友,”亞瑟抱怨說(shuō),“我本來(lái)以為是朋友就永遠(yuǎn)是朋友。”亞瑟有些不解。作為一個(gè)外國(guó)人,他不理解美國(guó)人對(duì)友誼的看法。美國(guó)人對(duì)“朋友”一詞的使用非常廣泛。他們可能把一般的熟人和親密的伙伴都稱之為“朋友”。這些友誼都是基于共同的興趣。當(dāng)這些原來(lái)共同從事的活動(dòng)不復(fù)存在時(shí),友誼也可能隨之淡化。現(xiàn)在亞瑟和史蒂夫不再是同學(xué),所以他們的“友誼”已經(jīng)發(fā)生了變化。在有些文化中,友誼意味著維系兩個(gè)人的牢固的持續(xù)終生的紐帶。在這些文化中,友誼發(fā)展得很慢,因?yàn)槿藗兪窃诮⒊掷m(xù)終生的感情。而美國(guó)社會(huì)是個(gè)快速變化的社會(huì)。有研究顯示,每年每五個(gè)美國(guó)家庭中就有一家遷移。美國(guó)人的友誼建立得非???,其變化也同樣快。從美國(guó)來(lái)的人給人的第一印象是很友好。美國(guó)人常隨意與陌生人交談。然而美國(guó)人的友好并不總是真正友情的表示。來(lái)到美國(guó)才幾個(gè)月的外國(guó)人在經(jīng)歷了一次如同亞瑟這樣的經(jīng)歷之后,可能會(huì)認(rèn)為美國(guó)人易變。了解美國(guó)人對(duì)友誼的看法,有助于非美國(guó)人避免誤解,還可以幫助他們學(xué)會(huì)以美國(guó)方式與美國(guó)人交朋友。
NOTE 注釋:
semester [si5mestE] n. 學(xué)期
acquaintance [E5kweintEns] n. 相識(shí), 熟人
fade [feid] vi. 逐漸減弱,慢慢淡去
fickle [5fikl] adj. (在感情等方面)變幻無(wú)常的, 浮躁的, 薄情的