◎ Marcel Proust
Can it really be sixty-two years ago that I first saw you?
難道我們的初次相遇,真的發(fā)生在62年前嗎?
It is truly a lifetime, I know. But as I gaze into your eyes now, it seems like only yesterday that I first saw you, in that small café in Hanover Square.
我知道,年華似水,轉(zhuǎn)眼間已是一生。如今,我望著你的眼睛時,當(dāng)年的初次相遇——就在漢諾廣場的那間小咖啡屋里——仿若昨日。
From the moment I saw you smile, as you opened the door for that young mother and her newborn baby. I knew. I knew that I wanted to share the rest of my life with you.
從我見到你迷人微笑的那一刻起——那一刻你正在為一位年輕母親和她的小寶寶開門。那一刻我就知道,我想與你共度余生。
I still think of how foolish I must have looked, as I gazed at you, that first time. I remember watching you intently, as you took off your hat and loosely shook your short dark hair with your fingers. I felt myself becoming immersed[103] in your every detail, as you placed your hat on the table and cupped your hands around the hot cup of tea, gently blowing the steam away with your pouted lips.
現(xiàn)在我還會想起來,第一次我那樣盯著你時,樣子看起來一定很傻。我就那樣目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地看著你;我的目光追隨你脫下小黑帽,用手指輕輕撥弄你的黑色短發(fā);追隨你把帽子放在桌前,雙手舉起熱氣騰騰的茶杯,用你那櫻桃小嘴輕輕吹走飄騰的熱氣。我發(fā)覺自己早已被你溫柔的舉止融化了。
From that moment, everything seemed to make perfect sense to me. The people in the café and the busy street outside all disappeared into a hazy blur. All I could see was you.
從那一刻起,一切的意義都鮮明起來。小咖啡屋里的人和屋外繁忙的街道都變得模糊了,我能看到的,只有你。
All through my life I have relived that very first day. Many, many times I have sat and thought about that the first day, and how for a few fleeting moments I am there, feeling again what is like to know true love for the very first time. It pleases me that I can still have those feelings now after all those years, and I know I will always have them to comfort me.
光陰似箭,可那天的情景不斷地在我的記憶里重演,歷歷在目。多少次我重新坐下,不斷追憶著那天的一切,不斷回味著那些稍縱即逝的瞬間,重新體味一見鐘情的美麗。消逝的歲月沒有把我的愛戀感覺帶走,這些感覺會永遠(yuǎn)陪伴著我,安撫我那短暫的余生。
Not even as I shook and trembled uncontrollably in the trenches, did I forget your face. I would sit huddled into the wet mud, terrified, as the hails of bullets and mortars crashed down around me. I would clutch my rifle[104] tightly to my heart, and think again of that very first day we met. I would cry out in fear, as the noise of war beat down around me. But, as I thought of you and saw you smiling back at me, everything around me would be become silent, and I would be with you again for a few precious moments, far from the death and destruction. It would not be until I opened my eyes once again, that I would see and hear the carnage of the war around me.
即使當(dāng)我在戰(zhàn)壕中控制不住地顫抖時,我也不曾忘卻你的容顏。我蜷縮在爛泥中,身邊是槍林彈雨,硝煙彌漫,我把步槍緊緊地揣在胸前,盡管一顆心惶恐不安,我還是想起了我們初次相遇的那一天。身旁戰(zhàn)火呼嘯,恐懼讓我想要大聲呼叫。然而,我想起了你,仿佛看見你在朝我微笑著。這時,周圍忽然安靜了下來,在這珍貴的瞬間,我覺得自己就在你的身邊,遠(yuǎn)離那些死亡和恐懼。我拼命想要留住這份美好。然而,當(dāng)我睜開眼時,身旁卻依舊是那個血與火的生死戰(zhàn)場。
I cannot tell you how strong my love for you was back then, when I returned to you on leave in the September, feeling battered, bruised and fragile. We held each other so tight I thought we would burst. I asked you to marry me the very same day and I whooped with joy when you looked deep into my eyes and said “yes” to being my bride.
9月休假回到你身邊時,疲憊、脆弱的我沒能告訴你在戰(zhàn)火紛飛時我對你的愛有多深。我們緊緊地?fù)肀г谝黄穑路鹨褜Ψ綌D碎。也就在那天,我向你求婚了。當(dāng)你深深地凝望著我的眼睛,說著“我愿意”時,我欣喜地大喊大叫著。
I’m looking at our wedding photo now, the one on our dressing table, next to your jeweler box. I think of how young and innocent we were back then. I remember being on the church steps grinning like a Cheshire cat, when you said how dashing and handsome I looked in my uniform. The photo is old and faded now, but when I look at it, I only see the bright vibrant[105] colors of our youth. I can still remember every detail of the pretty wedding dress your mother made for you, with its fine delicate lace and pretty pearls. If I concentrate hard enough, I can smell the sweetness of your wedding bouquet as you held it so proudly for everyone to see.
現(xiàn)在我正看著我們的結(jié)婚照,就是放在梳妝臺上的那張,就在你的首飾盒旁。那時的我們是那樣的年輕、天真。我還記得,當(dāng)你說我穿西裝很帥氣的時候,我站在教堂的臺階上,開心得就像一只露出牙齒嬉笑的貓。如今,照片已經(jīng)舊得泛黃了,可當(dāng)我看見它時,我看到的只是色彩斑斕的青春。至今我還清晰地記得你母親親手為你縫制的那件婚紗,那些精致的蕾絲花邊和漂亮的珍珠配飾。如果我能專心致志地回想,我還能聞到婚禮捧花的甜香。你是那么自豪地捧著那束花,讓每個人都能親眼見證你的幸福。
I remember being so over enjoyed, when a year later, you gently held my hand to your waist and whispered in my ear that we were going to be a family.
一年后,你輕輕地把我的手放到你的腹前,并在我的耳邊悄悄告訴我那個讓我欣喜若狂的好消息:我們就快有寶寶啦!
I know both our children love you dearly; they are outside the door now, waiting.
我知道我們的孩子都深深地愛著你,他們現(xiàn)在就等候在門外。
Do you remember how I panicked like a mad man when Jonathon was born? I can still picture you laughing and smiling at me now, as I clumsily held him for the very first time in my arms. I watched as your laughter faded into tears, as I stared at him and cried my own tears of joy.
你還記得喬納森出生那天,我手足無措的慌張樣子嗎?當(dāng)我第一次笨拙地把他抱在懷里時,你沖著我微笑,至今我還記得你笑話我的樣子。我看著他,我們都不由自主地流下了喜悅的淚水。
Sarah and Tom arrived this morning with little Tessie. Can you remember how we both hugged each other tightly when we saw our tiny granddaughter for the first time? I can’t believe she will be eight next month. I am trying not to cry, my love, as I tell you how beautiful she looks today in her pretty dress and red shiny shoes, she reminds me so much of you that first day we met. She had her hair cut short now, just like yours was all those years ago. When I met her at the door her smile wrapped around me like a warm glove, just like yours used to do, my darling.
今天早晨,撒拉和湯姆帶著小緹西也趕到了。你還記得嗎?當(dāng)我們第一次見到這個可愛的小孫女時,我們緊緊地?fù)肀г谝黄?。簡直不敢相信,她下個月就8歲了。親愛的,我正強忍著眼淚告訴你,小家伙今天穿著漂亮的裙子、閃亮的紅鞋,她讓我立刻想起當(dāng)年初次相遇時的你。現(xiàn)在,小家伙還剪了短發(fā),像極了多年前的你。親愛的,當(dāng)我在門口看到她的時候,她的笑容就像一幅溫暖的手套將我裹住,這竟然也和年輕時的你一樣。
I know you are tired, my dear, and I must let you go. But I love you so much and it hurts to do so.
親愛的,我知道你累了,我必須放手讓你離開。然而,我有多愛你,就有多心痛。
As we grew old together, I would tease you that you had not changed since we first met. But it is true, my darling. I do not see the wrinkles and grey hair that other people see. When I look at you now, I only see your sweet tender lips and youthful sparkling eyes as we sat and had out first picnic next to that small stream, and chased each other around that big old oak tree. I remember wishing those first few days together would last forever. Do you remember how exciting and wonderful those days were?
這些年,我們攜手一起變老,我總是逗你,說你一點都沒變,還和當(dāng)初第一次見面時一模一樣??蛇@些都是真的,親愛的。我真的看不到他人眼里的皺紋和灰發(fā)?,F(xiàn)在,當(dāng)我看著你,我也只能看到紅嫩溫柔的雙唇和年輕有神的眼神,就和我們第一次在小溪邊野餐、在巨大的老橡樹旁追逐嬉戲時一樣。我記得,我們曾期盼,那些剛開始時一起度過的時光能夠永不消逝。你還記得那些日子是多么美好、多么令人激動嗎?
I must go now, my darling. Our children are waiting outside. They want to say goodbye to you.
親愛的,我該走了。我們的孩子就在外面等著。他們想和你說聲再見。
I wipe the tears away from my eyes and bend my frail old legs down to the floor, so that I can kneel beside you. I lean close to you and take hold of your hand and kiss your tender lips for the very last time.
我拭去眼角的淚,跪在你的身邊,輕輕地靠近你,握住你的雙手,最后一次吻你。
Sleep peacefully, my dear.
親愛的,安心地睡吧!
I am sad that you had to leave me, but please don’t worry. I am content, knowing I will be with you soon. I am too old and too empty now to live much longer without you.
分離讓我心碎。但是,不要擔(dān)心,不久之后我們就能重逢,這讓我心滿意足。如今,我已然老去,世間已沒有那個與我生活一生的你,變得如此空洞、毫無意義。
I know it won’t be long before we meet again in the small café in Hanover Square.
我知道,很快,我們就能在漢諾威廣場的那間小咖啡屋里重逢。
Goodbye, my darling wife.
再見了,我的愛妻。