雙語(yǔ)|現(xiàn)代散文:巴金 龍

The Dragon 龍

◎ Ba Jin ◎ 巴金

I often have dreams，especially on a moonless and starless dark night．Once I dreamed of a dragon.

我常常做夢(mèng)。無(wú)月無(wú)星的黑夜里我的夢(mèng)最多。有一次我夢(mèng)見(jiàn)了龍。

I traveled across a remote mountain and a large swamp，armed with only a stick，with which I cleared away brambles and thorns and fought jackals and wolves．It also helped me in climbing the high mountain and crossing the marshland．And the straw sandals I wore enabled me to wade through the mud without getting my feet stuck in it.

我走入深山大澤，僅有一根手杖做我的護(hù)身武器，我用它披荊棘，打豺狼，它還幫助我登高山，踏泥沼。我腳穿草鞋，可以走過(guò)水面而不沉溺。

On a vast expanse of marsh，I came across a monster．He had two horns on his head，a moustache on his upper lip and two wide open round eyes glowing like two lanterns．Being sunk deep in the mire，he had only his head exposed above the surface，a head at least thrice the size of that of a human.

在一片大的泥沼中我看見(jiàn)一個(gè)怪物，頭上有角，唇上有髭，兩眼圓睜，紅亮亮像兩個(gè)燈籠。身子完全陷在泥中，只有這個(gè)比人頭大過(guò)兩三倍的頭顱浮出污泥之上。

As I walked near to the marsh to view the monster with curiosity，he suddenly uttered in the human language to prevent me from proceeding，

我走近泥沼，用驚奇的眼光看這個(gè)怪物。它忽然口吐人言，阻止我前進(jìn)：

“What's your name？Where are you going？Why did you come here？”

“你是什么？要去什么地方？為什么來(lái)到這里？”

“I'm a nameless person，”I replied proudly，thinking it unnecessary to treat a monster with courtesy.“I'm seeking for one thing．All I do is to break through brambles and briers in search of my way.”

“我是一個(gè)無(wú)名者，我尋求一樣?xùn)|西。我只知道披開(kāi)荊棘，找尋我的道路，”我昂然回答，對(duì)著怪物我不需要禮貌。

“No，you shouldn't because a fiery mountain ahead is spurting flames far and wide and killing lots of people.”

“你不能前進(jìn)，前面有火焰山，噴火數(shù)十里，傷人無(wú)算?！?

“I don't care．I'm ready to go through the fire for my objective.”

“我不怕火。為了得到我所追求的東西，我甘愿在火中走過(guò)。”

“No，you shouldn't．There's an ocean ahead of you．You can't cross the vast expanse of its foamy waters without a ship.”

“你仍不能前進(jìn)，前面有大海，沒(méi)有船只載你渡過(guò)白茫茫一片海水。”

“I'm not afraid．I can go through the waters in my straw sandals．To achieve my aim，I'm willing to run the risk of getting drowned.”

“我不怕水，我有草鞋可以走過(guò)水面。為了得到我所追求的東西，甚至溺死，我也毫無(wú)怨言?！?

“No，you can't go forward because you'll run into man-eating wild beasts.”

“你仍不能前進(jìn)，前面有猛獸食人?！?

“I'll use my stick to strike at them．To achieve my aim，I'm ready to engage in a desperate struggle with them.”

“我有手杖可以打擊猛獸。為了得到我所追求的東西，我愿與猛獸搏斗?！?

The monster's lantern-like eyes gave out a fiery light．Two long tentacles suddenly stretched out of his nostrils．With his mouth wide open，he showed a complete set of steely gleaming teeth．Then a sudden howl he gave sent the green leaves falling off the nearby tress and the muddy water bubbling and foaming.

怪物的兩只燈籠眼射出火光，從鼻孔中突然伸出兩根長(zhǎng)的觸須，口大張開(kāi)，露出一嘴鋼似的亮牙。它大叫一聲，使得附近的樹(shù)木馬上落下大堆綠葉，泥水也立刻沸騰起泡。

“You mulish guy，what the hell are you seeking？”the monster demanded in a stern voice.

“你這頑固的人，你究竟追求什么東西？”它厲聲問(wèn)道。

“I'm seeking life.”

“我追求生命?！?

“Life？Haven't you already got your life？”

“生命？你不是已經(jīng)有了生命？”

“I want a life that is full and substantial.”

“我要的是豐富的、充實(shí)的生命?！?

“I don't understand what you mean，”he shook his head.

“我不明白你的意思，”它搖搖頭。

“I'm living a worthless life．I engage in empty talk all day long，not knowing what to do to help the wretched of the earth．I don't give food to those who are going hungry．I don't give clothing to those who are suffering from cold．I don't dry tears on the faces of those who are weeping．I eat，I talk，I sleep．I'm idling away my time listlessly．Do you think that，being a man like this，I still have life？To me，one is as good as dead if his life isn't full and substantial.”

“我活著不能夠做一件有益的事情。我成天空談理想，卻束手看著別人受苦。我不能給饑餓的人一點(diǎn)飲食，給受凍的人一件衣服；我不能揩干哭泣的人臉上的眼淚。我吃著，談著，睡著，在無(wú)聊的空閑中浪費(fèi)我的光陰——像這樣的一個(gè)人怎么能說(shuō)是有生命？在我，若得不到豐富的、充實(shí)的生命，那么活著與死亡又有什么區(qū)別？”

The monster，after a moment of pondering，continued shaking his head，“I'm afraid you'll never get what you're chasing after．Most probably what you're seeking for doesn't exist in this world at all.”

怪物想了想，仍然搖頭說(shuō)：“我怕你會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)得不到你所追求的東西。或許世界上根本就沒(méi)有這樣的東西?！?

Noticing a trace of sympathy in his ugly face，I replied，

我在它那張難看的臉上見(jiàn)到一絲同情了。我說(shuō)：

“It does exist．I've read about it in books.”

“不會(huì)沒(méi)有，我在書(shū)上見(jiàn)過(guò)?！?

“You idiot！Fancy you believing books！”

“你這傻子，你居然相信書(shū)？”

“Yes，I believe them．They tell the truth in clear terms.”

“我相信，因?yàn)闀?shū)上寫(xiě)得明白，講得有道理?！?

The monster sighed shaking his head，“You mule，I advise you to turn back immediately．You don't know what is waiting in ambush for you ahead.”

怪物嘆息地?fù)u擺著頭：“你這頑強(qiáng)的人，我勸你立刻回頭走。你不知道前面路上還有些什么東西等著你?！?

“Yes，I know，but I still want to go ahead.”

“我知道，但是我還要往前走。”

“You should think it over.”

“你應(yīng)該仔細(xì)想一下。”

“Why are you going to all lengths to stop me from going ahead？We're not acquainted with each other．I don't even know your name．Now，what name，please！”

“你為什么這樣不憚煩地阻止我？我同你并不相識(shí)。我甚至不知道你的名字。告訴我，你究竟叫什么名字！”

“I haven't been called by my name for a long time．I've almost forgotten my own name．Now，let me tell you，I'm a dragon．I sure am.”

“已經(jīng)有很久沒(méi)有人提起我的名字了，我自己也差不多忘記了它?，F(xiàn)在我告訴你：我是龍，我就是龍?！?

I stared at his bizarre face in astonishment.

我吃了一驚。我望著那張古怪的臉。

“As a dragon，how come you're stuck in the mire？”I asked with puzzlement.“As far as I know，being king of the water，a dragon should live in the sea．And why don't you go up to the heavens by taking advantage of a thunder-storm？”A loud crash of thunder had just prompted the last question．The dragon's chest，belly and tail were covered in dark brown mud．The muddy water was bubbling like it was boiling and emitting an awful smell all the time.

“你是龍，怎么會(huì)躺在泥沼中？據(jù)我所知，龍是水中之王，應(yīng)該住在大海里。你為什么又不能乘雷上天？”我疑惑地問(wèn)道。這時(shí)天空響起一聲巨雷，因此我才有后一句話(huà)。我看看它的身子，黃黑色的污泥蓋住了它的胸腹和尾巴。泥水沸騰似地在發(fā)泡，從水面不斷地冒起來(lái)難聞的臭氣。

The dragon was silent and seemed to be trying desperately to extricate himself，but to no avail because the heavy mud had his whole body glued，buried under and weighed down．He opened his mouth to utter a woeful howl，two big teardrops rolling down his cheeks.

龍沉默著，它似乎努力在移動(dòng)身子。但是身子被污泥粘著，蓋著，壓著，不能夠動(dòng)彈。它張開(kāi)嘴哀叫一聲，兩顆大的淚珠從眼里掉下來(lái)。

He was crying！As I fearfully looked at his head，I found it didn't at all look like that of a dragon as I had seen in pictures，and therefore suspected him to be a fake.

它哭了！我惶恐地望著它的頭，我想，這和我在圖畫(huà)上看見(jiàn)的龍頭完全不像，它一定對(duì)我說(shuō)了假話(huà)，它不是龍。

“Like you，I've come here to seek a full and substantial life，”he restrained his tears and began to tell his own story．That was totally beyond my expectation．What a big surprise！

“我也是為了追求豐富的生命才到這里來(lái)的，”它止了淚開(kāi)始敘述它的故事。它的話(huà)是我完全料不到的。這對(duì)我是多大的驚奇！

“Like you，I hate to idle away my time listlessly．I hate to pursue my personal happiness at the expense of other aquatic animals．That's why I've abandoned my Dragon King's Palace and quit the seas so as to pursue what you call a full and substantial life．I hate to live solely for my own benefit．I've made up my mind to do something for the benefit of my own kind．Up in the skies，I don't like to keep company with the drifting colourful clouds all day long．Nor do I like to rule over other aquatic animals．Now that I've fallen on earth，I want to travel across remote mountains and swamps in search of what I've seen in my dreams，that is，a full and bright life．But I've ended up being bogged down in a quagmire and unable to extricate myself.”He kept his mouth shut，several blood-red teardrops starting from his lantern-like eyes.

“我和你一樣，也不愿意在無(wú)聊的空閑中浪費(fèi)我的光陰。我不愿意在別的水族的痛苦上面安放我的幸福寶座，我才拋棄龍宮，離開(kāi)大海，去追求你所說(shuō)的那個(gè)豐富的、充實(shí)的生命。我不愿意活著只為自己，我立志要做一些幫助同類(lèi)的事情。我飛上天空，我又不愿終日與那些飄浮變化的云彩為伍，也不愿高居在別的水族之上。我便落下地來(lái)。我要訪(fǎng)遍深山大澤，去追尋我在夢(mèng)里見(jiàn)到的東西。在夢(mèng)中我的確見(jiàn)過(guò)充實(shí)的、有光彩的生命。結(jié)果我卻落在污泥里，不能自拔?！彼]了嘴，從燈籠眼里流出幾滴淚珠，顏色鮮紅，跟血一樣。

“You see，I'm stuck in the mud and immovable．I can no longer endure it．I would rather die！”Turning round his head，he saw nothing but a vast expanse of mud．Then，as he cried piteously，blood-like tears again coursed down his face．He said，“But I mustn't die．No，I shouldn't．I've been lying here for tens of thousands of years.”

“你看，現(xiàn)在污泥粘住了我的身子，我要?jiǎng)右幌乱膊荒軌?。我過(guò)不了這種日子，我寧愿死！”它回過(guò)頭去看它的身子，但是眼前仍然只是那一片污泥。它痛苦地哀叫一聲，血一樣的眼淚又流了下來(lái)。它說(shuō)：“可是我不能死，而且我也不應(yīng)該死。我躺在這里已經(jīng)過(guò)了多少萬(wàn)年了?！?

My heart ached with sympathy and throbbed with fright．Tens of thousands of years！What a long time！How did he manage to drag out the miserable existence？A shiver came upon me．Nevertheless，I put to him one more question.“How did you get stuck in the mire？”

我的心因同情而痛苦，因恐懼而猛跳。多少萬(wàn)年！這樣長(zhǎng)的歲月！它怎么能夠熬過(guò)這么些日子？我打了一個(gè)冷噤。但是我還能夠勉強(qiáng)地再問(wèn)它一句：“你是怎樣陷到污泥里來(lái)的？”

“Don't ask me．You'll soon understand，young mule.”He suddenly looked at me with pity as if he had predicted that a misfortune was befalling me.

“你不用問(wèn)我這個(gè)。你自己不久就會(huì)知道，你這頑固的年輕人。”它忽然用憐憫的眼光望我，好像它已經(jīng)預(yù)料著，不幸的遭遇就會(huì)降臨到我身上來(lái)似的。

I gave no reply．He continued，“I wanted to break up the old order established by God．I wanted to change the arrangement made by God．I tried to strive for things denied me by God．I wanted to create a new condition．That's why I was punished by God．To seek a full and substantial life，I flew over fiery mountains，fought wild beasts，abandoned the honorary title of King of the Water and experienced untold hardships．But I'm still under God's thumb．I've been banished to this swamp to be exposed to the sun，rain，wind and thunder．My head and face are weatherbeaten and I look like a freak．But I still have the same heart as before．It's not a bit changed.”

我沒(méi)有回答。它又說(shuō)：“我想打破上帝定下的秩序，我想改變上帝的安排，我去追求上帝不給我們的東西，我要?jiǎng)?chuàng)造一個(gè)新的條件。所以我受到上帝的懲罰。為了追求充實(shí)的生命，我飛過(guò)火焰山，我斗過(guò)猛獸，我拋棄了水中之王的尊榮，歷盡了千辛萬(wàn)難。但是我終于逃不掉上帝的掌握，被打落在污泥里，受著日曬、雨淋、風(fēng)吹、雷打。我的頭、我的臉都變了模樣，我成了一個(gè)怪物。只是我的心還是從前的那一顆，并沒(méi)有絲毫的改變。”

“Then why do you stop me from going ahead to seek life？”

“那么，你為什么阻止我前進(jìn)，不讓我去追尋生命？”

“Young mule，I don't want to see you get into trouble too．You're a mortal．You can't live to ten thousand．You'll die，you'll die very soon．You'll gain nothing and even lose all that you have now.”

“頑固的人，我不愿意你也得著惡運(yùn)。你是人，你不能活到萬(wàn)年。你會(huì)死，你會(huì)很快地死去，你甚至?xí)翢o(wú)所獲而失掉你現(xiàn)在有的一切。”

“I'm not afraid of death．Without a full and substantial life，I would rather die．I don't want to follow your example by enduring the torment in the mire for tens of thousands of years．I wonder what it is that has made you so reluctant to part with the kind of life you're living.”

“我不怕死。得不到豐富的生命我寧愿死去。我不能夠像你這樣，居然在污泥中熬了多少萬(wàn)年。我奇怪像你這樣的生活還有什么值得留戀？”

“Young man，you don't understand．I don't want to die．I want to live long．I'm looking forward to a day when I can extricate myself from the mire and fly to the skies by taking advantage of a thunder-storm．Then I can continue to seek a full and substantial life．As long as my heart beats，there is my aspiration．I'll keep seeking until I've fulfilled my expectations.”

“年輕人，你不明白。我要活，我要長(zhǎng)久活下去。我還盼望著總有那么一天，我可以從污泥中拔出我的身子，我要乘雷飛上天空。然后我要繼續(xù)追尋豐富的、充實(shí)的生命。我的心在跳動(dòng)，我的意志就不會(huì)消滅。我的追求也將繼續(xù)下去，直到我的志愿完成。”

As he was talking，tears had stopped flowing and pain on his face had given place to courage and excitement．He asked me with self-assurance，“Do you still want to go ahead？”

它說(shuō)著，淚水早已干了，臉上也沒(méi)有了痛苦的表情，如今有的卻是勇敢和興奮。它還帶著信心似地問(wèn)我一句：“你現(xiàn)在還要往前面走？”

“Yes，I do，”I answered resolutely and yet enthusiastically.“Fiery mountains，rolling seas and wild beasts may be awaiting me out there，but I don't care.”

“我要走，就是火山、大海、猛獸在前面等我，我也要去！”我堅(jiān)決地甚至熱情地回答。

The dragon burst out laughing．But hardly had his peal of laughter died away when a thunderbolt from the clear sky plunged all around me into darkness．And I even could not see the fingers when I stretched out my hand．Just then I heard a terrific noise shooting up into the sky from the ground and，meanwhile，the splashing of muddy water．I felt the earth under my feet quaking and my head swimming.

龍忽然哈哈地笑起來(lái)。它的笑聲還未停止，一個(gè)晴空霹靂突然降下，把四周變成漆黑。我伸出手也看不見(jiàn)五根指頭。就在這樣的黑暗中，我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)一聲巨響自下沖上天空。泥水跟著響聲四濺。我覺(jué)得我站的土地在搖動(dòng)了。我的頭發(fā)昏。

The day was dawning．My eyes were extremely bright．The swamp was nowhere to be found．Lying in front of me was a vast expanse of grassland with its fresh green studded with reddish white flowers．Looking up at the sky，I caught a glimpse of the blackish dragon silhouetted dimly against the azure sky，his scales and shell being as jet-black as ever.

天漸漸地亮開(kāi)來(lái)。我的眼前異常明亮。泥沼沒(méi)有了。我前面橫著一片草原，新綠中點(diǎn)綴了紅白色的花朵。我仰頭望天。蔚藍(lán)色的天幕上隱約地現(xiàn)出淡墨色的龍影，一身鱗甲還是烏亮烏亮的。

《龍》是巴金寫(xiě)于1941年7月的一篇散文，描寫(xiě)“我”和龍會(huì)見(jiàn)時(shí)的一段夢(mèng)境。他們互相傾訴為追求“豐富的、充實(shí)的生命”而不惜歷盡千辛萬(wàn)難，敘述為人類(lèi)光明的未來(lái)而甘愿自我犧牲。文中的龍已人格化，是勇士的形象，代表革命先驅(qū)的精神?！拔摇笔呛髞?lái)者，是龍的精神的傳人。和巴金的許多其他散文一樣，此文也抒發(fā)了他愛(ài)國(guó)愛(ài)民、追求理想和光明的感情。