Work with the ?Now? 活在當(dāng)下
◎ Jeff Grundy
There are some people who are completely happy with themselves, their lives, and their prospects for the future. While they can be considered to be more fortunate than most, most who do not fall into that category are not as bad off as they tend to believe. Instead, they are simply lacking something, or making mistakes, which are standing in the way of their lives being as fulfilling as they would prefer. Some even go as far as to not realize the immense potential they possess.
What is the main difference between those lucky individuals whose lives seem to be wonderfully on track and those who, often despite every step of trying on their part, appear to have all of the odds stacked against them? While in some cases it is a matter of some people having better luck than others, those whose lives are content in the moment and proceeding in the direction of their choice, do not live in the past.
Whether you are thinking about your personality or your life in general, success means focusing on the here and now. While it is important to acknowledge the choices and experiences which resulted in you being where you are today, it is equally important to not allow yourself to become so caught up in thoughts of the past that the present day passes by.
Self-motivation is the key to ensuring that you do not continue repeating the same mistakes. You may have had one or more errors in judgment which led you to take the wrong path, or to make mistakes that were not in your best interest. You can acknowledge this without rehashing them over and over again in your mind, and simply be determined to make different, better decisions today.
Then is over; this is now. The less time and effort you put into looking at the past, the more you will have for living and experiencing this day. You will also find that letting go of the past will give you a deeper sense of strength. Instead of allowing past mistakes and worries to drain your energies, you will have a renewed energy to live your life to the fullest and enjoy it more.
Being content with yourself and optimistic about your future is not difficult. Whatever is in the past is over; learn from it and move on. When you are self-motivated enough to do this, you will see that moving ahead is the best definition of living life.
With that said, what can you do now? Sure it is easy for me to tell you to forget the past, yet it is a whole different practice to actually do it. Life is a complex set of events much of which of course is real, yet a large amount is just your view of what really happened.
Let me explain with an example. I know not everyone is a football fan but I am guessing most have watched at least part of a game on TV. Most plays and almost all the important plays are played over and over on the TV screen right after the play happened.
How many times have you watched a play and were certain and I mean certain of the outcome, say the player caught a pass, then watching the instant replay you realize you were totally wrong, the player dropped the pass. What you were certain you saw never happened.
The first step in trying to minimize the effects of your past in order to concentrate on your future is to find out how much of the past that you are certain happened were just mistakes on your part.
A quick example might be as a teenager you tried to build a piece of furniture out of scrape wood in your father’s workshop. The piece of furniture looked good when you finished but fell apart before you could show your father and you assumed you were a lousy carpenter and the rest of your life you have avoided building anything. Yet the reality was the scrap wood you used was faulty and not your building ability.
Yet the rest of your life you have believed mistakenly you are a poor builder of things.
有些人對(duì)自己、對(duì)生活、對(duì)未來的期望都非常滿意。但大多數(shù)人沒那么幸運(yùn),不過他們也并沒自己想得那么差勁,他們只是缺了點(diǎn)什么,或者常犯錯(cuò)誤,導(dǎo)致生活沒能像自己希望的那樣順?biāo)?。有些人甚至完全意識(shí)不到自己所擁有的巨大潛能。
一類是生命軌道堪稱完美的幸運(yùn)之子,一類是無論怎么調(diào)整腳步總是遇到各類挫折的倒霉家伙,他們之間有什么特別的不同呢?在有些情況下,確實(shí)有人比較幸運(yùn),然而另一些案例中,區(qū)別在于有的人不沉溺于過去,而活在此刻,選擇自己的方向不斷前進(jìn)。
你認(rèn)為成功在于個(gè)性也好,生活也好,但要成功,就要專注于此時(shí)此地。了解自己過去的抉擇和經(jīng)歷固然很重要,因?yàn)檫^去造就了你的現(xiàn)在,但同樣重要的是,不要讓自己過度沉湎于過去,讓今日白白流逝。
成功的關(guān)鍵在于自我激勵(lì)。確保你不繼續(xù)重復(fù)同樣的錯(cuò)誤。也許你一次或?qū)掖闻袛嗍д`,結(jié)果踏上錯(cuò)誤的道路,或者犯錯(cuò)讓自己吃虧。但即使不在內(nèi)心一遍遍地重復(fù)想起,你也能認(rèn)識(shí)到這些錯(cuò)誤,你只要下定決心從今天開始,去作出和過去不同、比以往更好的決定就夠了,就這么簡(jiǎn)單。
“過去”已經(jīng)結(jié)束了,此刻才是“現(xiàn)在”。越少花時(shí)間和精力去回顧過去,你就會(huì)有越多的時(shí)間和經(jīng)歷留給今天。你還會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),放手過去,你的內(nèi)心會(huì)更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。與其讓昔日的錯(cuò)誤和懊惱耗盡你的精力,不如為生命注入新的能量,充實(shí)自己的生命,享受自己的生命。
要讓自己滿意自己,做到對(duì)未來充滿希望并不難。過去的都過去了,從中汲取經(jīng)驗(yàn)教訓(xùn)后,生活將繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。等你能自我激勵(lì)到這種程度,就會(huì)看到生活的最佳詮釋就是一往無前。
前面提到的是目標(biāo),但你現(xiàn)在能做什么?要你忘記過去,這說來容易,但真的做起來就完全是另一回事了。生命是由一系列復(fù)雜的事件組成的,大部分事件當(dāng)然是真實(shí)的,但也有相當(dāng)多的事件換個(gè)角度去看就完全不同了。
讓我解釋說明一下。我知道,不是每個(gè)人都是球迷,但我猜大多數(shù)人至少都在電視上看到過一點(diǎn)比賽。很多比賽都會(huì)在電視中重播,重要的比賽尤其如此。
有多少次看比賽時(shí),你之前很確定的結(jié)果,比方說帶球過人,在隨后的回放中看到球員沒能帶球過人,你才意識(shí)到自己完全錯(cuò)了。你本來肯定你所看到的,其實(shí)根本沒有發(fā)生過。
為了更加專注于未來,減少過去的影響,第一步,弄清楚哪些事情你過去信以為真。
舉個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的例子:十幾歲時(shí),你用爸爸工廠里的廢木料做了一件家具。這件家具剛完工時(shí)看起來很不錯(cuò),但是正當(dāng)你要展示給爸爸看時(shí),它卻散了架,就這樣你認(rèn)定自己是個(gè)糟糕的木匠,決定一輩子再也不碰與建筑有關(guān)的任何東西。然而事實(shí)上,是那些廢木料出了差錯(cuò),而不是你的建筑能力有問題。
認(rèn)識(shí)不到這一點(diǎn),你一輩子都會(huì)誤以為自己是個(gè)蹩腳的木匠。