許多中國(guó)家長(zhǎng)都認(rèn)為刻苦努力才能踏上成功之路。的確,不少中國(guó)家長(zhǎng)都采用了嚴(yán)格的教育方式,希望自己的孩子成績(jī)優(yōu)異。
The idea of strict parents is certainly familiar to Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, who posted 26 study tips on her personal blog in September. The 25-year-old had recently finished her postgraduate studies at Yale University in the United States. Her post raised discussions about the parenting skills of her mother, Amy Chua, a Chinese-American professor at Yale Law School.
嚴(yán)父嚴(yán)母對(duì)于索菲婭·蔡-魯本菲爾德而言并不陌生,今年9月,她在個(gè)人博客上分享了26條學(xué)習(xí)心得。這位25歲的姑娘最近在美國(guó)耶魯大學(xué)完成了研究生的學(xué)業(yè)。她的文章引發(fā)了人們對(duì)于其母、耶魯大學(xué)法學(xué)院美籍華裔教授蔡美兒的教育方式的討論。
Chua was given the nickname “Tiger Mom” for her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, published in 2011, which includes the details of her strict parenting methods of raising her daughters.
蔡美兒因2011年出版《虎媽戰(zhàn)歌》一書被稱為“虎媽”,書中講述了她對(duì)女兒嚴(yán)格的教育方式。
Because of the book, she became a household name overnight and was even listed in Time Magazine’s Top 100 most influential people in 2011.
她因這本書一夜成名,甚至在2011年入選《時(shí)代》周刊全球最具影響力人物100強(qiáng)。
Chua set strict standards for her two daughters, Sophia and Lulu. For example, in school, they weren’t allowed to make grades lower than A’s. They had to play the piano or violin and practice for several hours a day. There were no sleepovers, play dates or TV.
蔡美兒為兩個(gè)女兒索菲婭和露露制定了嚴(yán)格的要求。比如,姐妹倆在校學(xué)習(xí)成績(jī)不能低于A。她們每天都要花上幾小時(shí)練習(xí)鋼琴或者小提琴,不能在外過(guò)夜、約會(huì)或者看電視。
Chua’s parenting received wide criticism.
蔡美兒的教育方式受到了廣泛批評(píng)。
“Children need their parents’ love and acceptance in order to develop real self-esteem. Belittling children sends the message that they are not worthy of love and support,” Lac Su, vice president of marketing for TalentSmart, a global think tank, wrote in CNN.
“孩子們需要家長(zhǎng)的愛與包容,才能形成真正的自尊。輕視會(huì)讓孩子們感到自己不值得被愛與支持,”全球智庫(kù)TalentSmart的營(yíng)銷副總裁拉克·蘇在CNN上寫道。
Some even predicted that the two girls “couldn’t possibly be happy or truly creative. They’ll grow up skilled and compliant but without the audacity to be great,” according to The New York Times.
據(jù)《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》報(bào)道,一些人甚至預(yù)言兩個(gè)女孩“或許并不快樂(lè),也無(wú)法真正擁有創(chuàng)造力。她們長(zhǎng)大后會(huì)有“技能傍身,順從他人,卻缺乏成功的膽量”。
However, seven years have passed and the girls have grown up. Both of them seem to lead a good life and are thankful about their mother. “People assume that tiger parenting would [lead to] low self-esteem because there isn’t that constant praise, but I think I [have got] a lot more confidence than some others, because my confidence is earned,” Lulu told New York Post. “[My mom] gave me the tools to drive my own confidence.”
然而七年過(guò)去,女孩們也長(zhǎng)大了。兩人看起來(lái)都過(guò)得不錯(cuò),并且對(duì)母親心存感激。“人們認(rèn)為虎媽式教育會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子自卑,因?yàn)榧议L(zhǎng)不會(huì)常常表?yè)P(yáng)孩子。但我認(rèn)為我比一些人更自信,因?yàn)槲易约黑A來(lái)了自信,”露露在接受《紐約郵報(bào)》采訪時(shí)表示。“(我媽媽)給予了我激發(fā)自信的工具。”
Still, not everyone agrees with this. “Instead of motivating my children to achieve high grades, my dream is that, in the future, we can just sit together after dinner and have a family concert and enjoy the music,” Mike Wang, a Chinese parent with a 14-year-old daughter who lives in London, told China Daily.
但并非所有人都同意這一點(diǎn)。“我的夢(mèng)想不是讓孩子得高分,而是將來(lái)我們能在晚飯后一起坐下來(lái),開個(gè)家庭音樂(lè)會(huì)一起欣賞音樂(lè),”一位現(xiàn)居倫敦,14歲女孩的中國(guó)家長(zhǎng)邁克·王在接受《中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)》采訪時(shí)如此表示。
Each child may just fit different parenting. As Gu Jun, a professor from Shanghai University put it, “No child is perfect, and parents don’t have to make their parenting perfect.”
每個(gè)孩子所適用的教育方式或許都有所不同。正如上海大學(xué)教授顧駿所言,“沒有一個(gè)孩子是完美的,家長(zhǎng)沒必要把自己的教育塑造得無(wú)可挑剔。”