《四季隨筆》節(jié)選 - 春 19

《四季隨筆》是吉辛的散文代表作。其中對(duì)隱士賴克羅夫特醉心于書籍、自然景色與回憶過去生活的描述，其實(shí)是吉辛的自述，作者以此來抒發(fā)自己的情感，因而本書是一部富有自傳色彩的小品文集。

吉辛窮困的一生，對(duì)文學(xué)名著的愛好與追求，以及對(duì)大自然恬靜生活的向往，在書中均有充分的反映。本書分為春、夏、秋、冬四個(gè)部分，文筆優(yōu)美，行文流暢，是英國(guó)文學(xué)中小品文的珍品之一。

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Some one, I see, is lifting up his sweet voice in praise of Conscription. It is only at long intervals that one reads this kind of thing in our reviews or newspapers, and I am happy in believing that most English people are affected by it even as I am, with the sickness of dread and of disgust. That the thing is impossible in England, who would venture to say? Every one who can think at all sees how slight are our safeguards against that barbaric force in man which the privileged races have so slowly and painfully brought into check. Democracy is full of menace to all the finer hopes of civilization, and the revival, in not unnatural companionship with it, of monarchic power based on militarism, makes the prospect dubious enough. There has but to arise some Lord of Slaughter, and the nations will be tearing at each other's throats. Let England be imperilled, and Englishmen will fight; in such extremity there is no choice. But what a dreary change must come upon our islanders if, without instant danger, they bend beneath the curse of universal soldiering! I like to think that they will guard the liberty of their manhood even beyond the point of prudence.

我聽到有人在用美妙的聲音為征兵大唱贊歌了。隔很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間后，人們才能在評(píng)論或報(bào)紙上讀到這種東西，我愉快地以為大多數(shù)英國(guó)人和我一樣，對(duì)這種征兵贊歌感到憂懼和憎惡。而誰(shuí)敢打包票這種事不可能在英格蘭發(fā)生呢？任何一個(gè)有頭腦的人都能看到，我們抵制人類體內(nèi)野蠻力量的努力是多么脆弱，優(yōu)勢(shì)種族馴服這種力量的過程是多么緩慢艱難。民主對(duì)于人類文明所有更美好的希望都充滿了威脅，通常還自然地伴有以軍國(guó)主義為基礎(chǔ)的君主權(quán)力的復(fù)活，讓文明的前景更加黯淡。最后勢(shì)必出現(xiàn)一個(gè)“嗜血暴君”，招致各國(guó)混戰(zhàn)。如果英格蘭受到威脅，英國(guó)人會(huì)奮起反抗，在這種極端情形下別無(wú)選擇。但是如果沒有迫在眉睫的危險(xiǎn)，而我們卻被迫接受全民皆兵的厄運(yùn)，那么我們這個(gè)島國(guó)居民的生活將會(huì)迎來怎樣讓人擔(dān)憂的變化??！我愿意相信他們會(huì)萬(wàn)分謹(jǐn)慎地捍衛(wèi)成年人這方面的自由。

A lettered German, speaking to me once of his year of military service, told me that, had it lasted but a month or two longer, he must have sought release in suicide. I know very well that my own courage would not have borne me to the end of the twelvemonth; humiliation, resentment, loathing, would have goaded me to madness. At school we used to be "drilled" in the playground once a week; I have but to think of it, even after forty years, and there comes back upon me that tremor of passionate misery which, at the time, often made me ill. The senseless routine of mechanic exercise was in itself all but unendurable to me; I hated the standing in line, the thrusting-out of arms and legs at a signal, the thud of feet stamping in constrained unison. The loss of individuality seemed to me sheer disgrace. And when, as often happened, the drill-sergeant rebuked me for some inefficiency as I stood in line, when he addressed me as "Number Seven!" I burned with shame and rage. I was no longer a human being; I had become part of a machine, and my name was "Number Seven." It used to astonish me when I had a neighbour who went through the drill with amusement, with zealous energy; I would gaze at the boy, and ask myself how it was possible that he and I should feel so differently. To be sure, nearly all my schoolfellows either enjoyed the thing, or at all events went through it with indifference; they made friends with the sergeant, and some were proud of walking with him "out of bounds." Left, right! Left, right! For my own part, I think I have never hated man as I hated that broad-shouldered, hard-visaged, brassy-voiced fellow. Every word he spoke to me, I felt as an insult. Seeing him in the distance, I have turned and f led, to escape the necessity of saluting, and, still more, a quiver of the nerves which affected me so painfully. If ever a man did me harm, it was he; harm physical and moral. In all seriousness I believe that something of the nervous instability from which I have suffered since boyhood is traceable to those accursed hours of drill, and I am very sure that I can date from the same wretched moments a fierceness of personal pride which has been one of my most troublesome characteristics. The disposition, of course, was there; it should have been modified, not exacerbated.

一位德國(guó)的文人，曾和我談起他在軍隊(duì)服役的歲月。他告訴我，如果服役時(shí)間再延長(zhǎng)一兩個(gè)月，他肯定會(huì)自殺以尋求解脫。而我很明白，依我自己的勇氣，可能連十二個(gè)月也撐不下去，屈辱、忿恨和厭惡會(huì)把我逼瘋的。在學(xué)校，我們?cè)?jīng)每周一次在操場(chǎng)上進(jìn)行“軍訓(xùn)”，雖然已經(jīng)過了四十年，但每每回想起來，我還能感覺到那種強(qiáng)烈的痛苦引起的戰(zhàn)栗，當(dāng)時(shí)，我常常因此病倒。那套無(wú)意義的機(jī)械式訓(xùn)練本身就讓我無(wú)法忍受，我憎恨站隊(duì)列，討厭在一聲口令下伸出胳膊和腿，腳步被迫齊聲踏地作響。那種個(gè)性的喪失在我看來簡(jiǎn)直是一種屈辱。站在隊(duì)列中的我經(jīng)常因?yàn)閯?dòng)作不過關(guān)遭到教官的訓(xùn)斥，每當(dāng)他叫我“七號(hào)”時(shí)，都讓我感覺羞辱和氣憤，怒火中燒。我不再是一個(gè)人，而成了機(jī)器的一部分，我的名字是“七號(hào)”。而讓我吃驚的是站在我旁邊的一個(gè)男孩，他興致勃勃地接受軍訓(xùn)，還熱情洋溢、活力十足。我時(shí)常盯著他，自問我們的感受怎么可能會(huì)差別那么大。可以肯定的是，我所有的同學(xué)對(duì)軍訓(xùn)的態(tài)度大致分為兩派，要么覺得很有趣，要么逆來順受，覺得無(wú)所謂。他們跟教官成為朋友，一些人還和教官在軍訓(xùn)場(chǎng)外同行，并以此為榮。左右左，左右左！而對(duì)我來說，我一生中最憎惡的人就是那個(gè)肩膀?qū)掗?、面色?yán)厲、聲如銅鈴的家伙。他對(duì)我說的每一句話，我都覺得是一種侮辱。遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地看到他，我會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)身逃掉，避免向他行軍禮，更要避免讓我的神經(jīng)遭受一次痛苦的顫栗。如果說有人傷害過我，那就是他，這傷害是肉體和心靈兩方面的。嚴(yán)肅地說，我覺得自己打小就深受其苦的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)紊亂可以追本溯源到那段該詛咒的軍訓(xùn)歲月，我也非?？隙ㄗ约禾^強(qiáng)烈的自尊心也是那段悲慘的時(shí)光造成的，這是我性格中最讓人不安的特點(diǎn)之一。當(dāng)然，性情本就如此，它應(yīng)該改良，而不是惡化。

In younger manhood it would have flattered me to think that I alone on the school drill-ground had sensibility enough to suffer acutely. Now I had much rather feel assured that many of my schoolfellows were in the same mind of subdued revolt. Even of those who, boylike, enjoyed their drill, scarce one or two, I trust, would have welcomed in their prime of life the imposition of military servitude upon them and their countrymen. From a certain point of view, it would be better far that England should bleed under conquest than that she should be saved by eager, or careless, acceptance of Conscription. That view will not be held by the English people; but it would be a sorry thing for England if the day came when no one of those who love her harboured such a thought.

年輕時(shí)，想到唯獨(dú)我在學(xué)校軍訓(xùn)場(chǎng)上還有足夠的理智來敏銳地感受痛苦，還會(huì)覺得自鳴得意?，F(xiàn)在我寧愿自己能確信當(dāng)時(shí)許多同學(xué)都如我一樣心里暗暗地藏著反叛。即使是那些少年時(shí)喜歡軍訓(xùn)的，我相信他們到了壯年只有一兩個(gè)人可能會(huì)贊成國(guó)家強(qiáng)迫自己和同胞入伍服役。從某個(gè)特定角度來看，英格蘭與其在對(duì)征兵熱切或草率的認(rèn)同下得到救贖，還不如在征服者的鐵蹄下流血。這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)不會(huì)被英國(guó)人民認(rèn)同；但是如果有一天，沒有一個(gè)熱愛這個(gè)國(guó)家的人懷有這種想法，這對(duì)英格蘭將是一件遺憾的事情。