英語世界文摘:Into the Light

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Into the Light

向光而生

ByRachel Kelly

文/雷切爾·凱利

Eight years ago, the idea that I might ever emerge from the darkness of deep clinical depression and be well again seemed unthinkable. Yet now, many winters have passed and I have returned to the light. Mostly I am calm and well, and some days I even feel as if I’m walking on sunshine.

八年前，我?guī)缀蹼y以想象，自己能夠脫離重度抑郁癥的深淵，重獲健康。然而，許多個寒冬之后，如今的我已經(jīng)重回光明。多數(shù)時間里，我感到平靜舒適，有時甚至覺得自己仿佛正踏著陽光前行。

My depression was born of[1] anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. At that low point almost two decades ago, it was so severe and the physical agony of the illness so painful, all I wanted to do was to die. I would lie in bed, clinging to[2]my mother’s arm so tightly that it was red from my clutch[3]. She was often all that lay between me and the real possibility of suicide: my husband was out at work and she had come to live with us.

焦慮不安和不堪重負(fù)導(dǎo)致我患上了抑郁癥。大約20年前，情況跌至谷底，嚴(yán)重的抑郁伴隨著巨大的生理痛苦，令我一心只想結(jié)束生命。我會躺在床上，緊緊抓著母親的手臂，她的手臂因此而泛紅。很多時候，母親是我沒有真的結(jié)束自己生命的唯一原因：丈夫當(dāng)時在外工作，母親來和我們同住。

[1] be born of 來源于，由……導(dǎo)致。

[2] cling to 緊緊抓住。

[3] clutch 抓??；握緊。

Now that I am feeling better, I am learning how to do less, to be more grateful and to enjoy the moment.

現(xiàn)在，我感覺好多了，逐漸懂得如何卸下重?fù)?dān)、更加感恩并享受當(dāng)下。

So blessed do I feel to have made this recovery that over the past year, I have been emboldened[4] to keep a diary of my progress.

能夠痊愈，我感到無比幸運(yùn)，因此在過去的一年中，我鼓起勇氣以日記的形式記錄下了自己所取得的進(jìn)步。

[4] embolden 加強(qiáng)勇氣或信心。

Here are eight of my small steps–two for each season–which have helped me become happier.

以下是我的八個小秘訣，每個季節(jié)兩個，是它們幫助我成為了更快樂的人。

SPRING

春

Stuffocation[5]

雜物窒息

[5] stuffocation 由雜物（stuff）和窒息（suffocation）組合而成，指被堆積的雜物淹沒而感到不堪重負(fù)。

I find the sunshine a welcome change, but with it comes a familiar itch[6]: the need to spring clean. April finds me noticing the dusty piles that seem to have accumulated in every corner. I know clearing cupboards clears my mind; feeling overwhelmed can quickly lead to feeling anxious.

陽光令我歡喜，但也帶來了熟悉的躁動：該春季掃除了。每到四月，我便會注意到，幾乎所有角落里都堆積著布滿灰塵的雜物。我知道，清理櫥柜就是清理我的內(nèi)心，而被堆積的雜物包圍很快就會導(dǎo)致焦慮。

[6] itch 渴望；熱望。

But here’s the problem: I’m one of those people who finds it hard to throw things out–it runs in the family. My granny kept a mouse in the freezer in case she ever got a cat. The following working rule has helped. I save only what gives me joy or has some indelible[7] link to family and friends. If in doubt[8], I imagine how mortified[9] I would be if others found out that something they’d given me had been chucked out[10]. Anything else can be thanked and sent on its way.

可問題在于，我是那種舍不得丟東西的人——我們?nèi)叶际侨绱?。祖母曾把一只老鼠保存在冰柜中，為日后養(yǎng)貓作準(zhǔn)備。這時就要用到一條實(shí)用的準(zhǔn)則——只保留讓我快樂或和我的親朋好友有著永久聯(lián)系的物件。如果拿不定主意，我就會想象，如果有人發(fā)現(xiàn)送給我的禮物被我扔掉了，我會否感到慚愧。其他的一切都可以懷著感激之情送它最后一程。

[7] indelible 無法磨滅、消除的。

[8] in doubt 不確定，拿不準(zhǔn)。

[9] mortified 極度難堪或羞愧。

[10] chuck out 比較口語化的表達(dá)，意為扔掉，丟棄。

Gratitude

感恩

The ‘Three Good Things’ practice[11] has proved handy and comes especially naturally as spring bulbs poke their heads up and the evenings grow longer. As I settle for bed, I think of three positive things that happened during the day, and add them to my ‘gratitude’ notebook. It’s easy to be grateful for nice things but, over time, the trick I’m learning is how to be grateful for the less obviously positive events in the day. This teaches us to tap into the mindset that everything is happening for us rather than to us. We can begin to recognise opportunities and lessons in place of[12] disappointment and dejection.

“每天記錄三件積極的小事”十分有益，尤其當(dāng)春天的球莖探出腦袋、夜晚逐漸拉長的時候，做起來格外輕松。上床睡覺前，我會回想當(dāng)天發(fā)生的三件積極的事，把它們填在我的“感恩”手冊上。對美妙際遇心懷感激固然容易，但我也慢慢學(xué)會了對每天看上去不那么令人欣喜的事心懷感激。我們可以從中學(xué)到一種新的思維模式：所有的一切都是賜予我們，而非加諸我們的。我們從而不再郁結(jié)于失望與挫敗，而是開始發(fā)掘機(jī)會和經(jīng)驗(yàn)。

[11] 一種有助于保持樂觀積極心態(tài)的心理療法，即每天記錄三件好事。

[12] in place of 替代。

SUMMER

夏

Flower power

花的魔力

I’m lucky to have a small back garden which is a constant stress-reliever throughout the year, but never more so than in the dusty days of summer when I retreat from the city to my tiny patch[13] of green. As I deadhead[14] overblown[15] roses and sweep faded leaves and detritus[16] into tidy mounds[17], I have a sense of regaining control and peace. Find a fragrant flower as you are walking along. Hold it under your nose, close your eyes, take deep breaths and inhale deeply. Whenever I do this, I al-ways walk on with a spring[18] in my step.

我有幸能擁有一個小小的后花園，常年幫我減輕壓力，最是在風(fēng)塵仆仆的夏日，我從城市回歸那小小的綠色天地。當(dāng)我摘去凋敗的玫瑰、將枯葉和殘骸掃成小堆，總會感到重新掌控一切并復(fù)歸寧靜。沿途找一朵芬芳的鮮花，放在鼻子底下，閉上雙眼，深呼吸。每次這么做，我的步伐總會染上一抹春的雀躍。

[13] patch（與周圍不同的）小塊，小片。

[14] deadhead 英式英語表達(dá)，指摘掉植物的枯花。

[15]overblown（花朵）殘敗，盛期已過。

[16] detritus 這里應(yīng)該指玫瑰的殘骸。

[17] mound 一堆。

[18] spring 此處為雙關(guān)語義，一指春天，一指步伐輕快有活力。

Mending

修補(bǔ)

When a treasured piece of pottery gets broken in Japan, the cracks are mended with special glue that has been mixed together with powdered gold. The cracks are deliberately made a feature thanks to this art, which is known askintsugi[19] or ‘golden joinery.’ The piece thereby becomes unique, and arguably more beautiful.

在日本，如果珍貴的陶器碎了，人們會用特殊的膠水，和上金粉來修補(bǔ)裂縫。這種工藝叫作“金繕”，經(jīng)其精心修補(bǔ)后的裂縫反而成為了一大特色，使陶器獨(dú)一無二，甚至可以說比原來更美。

[19] kintsugi 金繕，一種陶瓷修復(fù)工藝，還可以應(yīng)用于對竹、木、牙、紫砂、玉器的修復(fù)，可以賦予所修復(fù)之物一種特別的“殘缺之美”。

I feel as if I too have undergone this repair process. Like a broken Japanese pot or vase, I have experienced plenty of breaks, but time and patience have put me back together again with new and interesting features. It’s an idea that makes me feel wonderfully calm.

我覺得自己仿佛也經(jīng)歷了修補(bǔ)。如同一只破碎的日本陶罐或陶瓶，我曾數(shù)次陷入崩潰，又由時光和耐心重新黏合并賦予了新奇的特質(zhì)。這種想法令我感到一種愉悅的平靜。