從自殺的邊緣回來，他想要拯救別人
Back from the brink of suicide, he wants to save others
從自殺的邊緣回來，他想要拯救別人
Their minds can drift to that dark place, but they hide it well.從自殺的邊緣回來，他想要拯救別人
他們的思想可以飄向那個(gè)黑暗的地方，但他們隱藏得很好。
Walking among us, they laugh when really they want to cry. They sometimes feel as if they have nothing to live for and struggle in silence. They contemplate the unimaginable: How to end it all. Some put extreme thought into it, going so far as to write goodbye letters.
走在我們中間，他們笑的時(shí)候，他們真的想哭。他們有時(shí)覺得自己沒有什么值得追求的，只是默默地掙扎著。他們思考著難以想象的事情:如何結(jié)束這一切。有些人想得很極端，甚至寫了告別信。
They come from all walks of life. Some are in big cities, others in small towns. Some hail from wealth, others poverty. All came to a lonely place where they considered taking their own lives.
他們來自各行各業(yè)。有些在大城市，有些在小城鎮(zhèn)。有些人富裕，有些人貧窮。他們都來到了一個(gè)孤獨(dú)的地方，在那里他們考慮結(jié)束自己的生命。
llen Bachman, a 46-year-old antitrust lawyer in the nation's capital, considers himself a survivor. More than a dozen years ago, he tried to kill himself. He was going through a divorce, his father had a heart attack, and he felt alone while traveling in New York City for his high-pressure job.
46歲的萊恩·巴赫曼是美國首都的一名反壟斷律師，他認(rèn)為自己是一名幸存者。十幾年前，他曾試圖自殺。他正在經(jīng)歷離婚，他的父親心臟病發(fā)作，因?yàn)楣ぷ鲏毫艽筮M(jìn)行紐約之旅時(shí)他感到孤獨(dú)。
一名家庭成員在他差點(diǎn)自殺后發(fā)現(xiàn)他倒在酒店房間里。
"When you go through what I went through, it's not just one time," Bachman said. "Once you kick open that door, it's like someone's got a foot in it, and it never completely closes. So when you feel bad, your mind goes to, 'Oh, you can get out of this by killing yourself.' "
巴赫曼說:“當(dāng)你經(jīng)歷我所經(jīng)歷的一切時(shí)，它不止一次。“一旦你踢開了那扇門，它就像被人踩了一腳一樣，永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)完全關(guān)閉。所以當(dāng)你感覺痛苦時(shí)，你的大腦就會(huì)想，‘哦，你可以通過自殺來擺脫這一切。’”
He's lending his voice now to help others.
他現(xiàn)在在用自己的聲音幫助別人。
His life became interesting only in his 40s, he said, and he finds it "just shocking and disturbing" that he could have missed out on all that life has to offer.
他說，他的生活直到40多歲才變得有趣，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己可能錯(cuò)過了生活所能提供的一切，這“令人震驚和不安”。
"All the best times of my life came after me thinking I wanted to kill myself," he said.
“我生命中所有最美好的時(shí)光都是在我想自殺之后到來的，”他說。
Like so many who spoke to CNN for this story, he struggled to grapple with the suicide deaths of celebrities Kate Spadeand Anthony Bourdainlast week. For him, it was more personal.
就像許多接受CNN采訪的人一樣，上周名人凱特·斯佩德和安東尼·波登自殺身亡，他也在努力應(yīng)對。對他來說，這更是一個(gè)私人問題。
巴赫曼讀了一本波登的暢銷書《廚房機(jī)密》，這本書講述了波登20多年的生活，他在餐館工作，沉溺于各種惡習(xí)，從可卡因、海洛因到酗酒。
The book was an epiphany for Bachman. He said his life was saved because of Bourdain's willingness to share his own struggles. The chef, author and host of CNN's "Parts Unknown" helped Bachman "to put my own problems in context and realize there was so much in my life yet to come," he said.
這本書對巴赫曼來說是一種頓悟。他說他的生命因?yàn)椴ǖ窃敢夥窒硭约簰暝墓适露徽攘?。作為CNN“未知的部分”節(jié)目的廚師、作者和主持人幫助巴赫曼“把自己的問題放在故事背景中，意識(shí)到生活中還有很多事情要做，”他說。
That is a message others who've been on the brink of suicide shared with CNN: to let people know that their lives are worth saving.
這是其他處于自殺邊緣的人與CNN分享的信息:讓人們知道他們的生命是值得拯救的。
Bachman is one of six survivors of depression who spoke to CNN to offer hope and guidance to a nation reckoning with the realities of suicide. One said this moment should act as an awakening on suicide prevention in America.
巴赫曼是六名抑郁癥幸存者之一，他在接受CNN采訪時(shí)向這個(gè)正視自殺現(xiàn)實(shí)的國家提供了希望和指導(dǎo)。有人說，這一刻應(yīng)該成為美國預(yù)防自殺的一個(gè)覺醒時(shí)刻。
