20到30歲，是人生最不可揮霍的時(shí)光！這3條實(shí)用建議值得一聽
然而，20多歲的年輕人，也是最容易感到困惑迷茫，最可能虛度時(shí)光的。
心理咨詢師Meg Jay根據(jù)自己多年的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，給處在這個(gè)重要時(shí)期的年輕人一些中肯的建議。
20多歲時(shí)，Meg Jay在伯克利大學(xué)讀臨床心理學(xué)博士。她的第一個(gè)患者Alex是個(gè)26歲的女孩，情感一團(tuán)糟，生活沒有頭緒。
面對(duì)Alex當(dāng)前混亂的情況，同為20多歲的Meg Jay并不知道要給她怎樣的建議，反正20多歲也不著急。
Work happens later. Marriage happens later. Kids happen later, and even death happens later.
工作、婚姻、孩子，甚至是死亡，要等以后才來。
直到有一天，Meg的導(dǎo)師點(diǎn)醒了她，讓她意識(shí)到20多歲的生活是多么重要，而人們往往忽視了這段時(shí)光的重要性。
That was when I realized this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers, families and futures of twentysomethings everywhere.
這時(shí)我才明白這種“善意的疏忽”是個(gè)真正的問題，而且它會(huì)帶來嚴(yán)重的后果。不光對(duì)Alex和她的愛情生活，對(duì)于所有20多歲人的事業(yè)、家庭和未來都會(huì)造成影響。
她說，社會(huì)、媒體都在宣揚(yáng)著20多歲是“后青春期”，20多歲的人還未長(zhǎng)大等觀念，而這些剝奪了你應(yīng)該有的緊迫感和志向。
So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens.
所以說當(dāng)你拍著一個(gè)20多歲人的頭說，“你還有十年才開始真正的人生”時(shí)，你認(rèn)為會(huì)發(fā)生什么?什么也不會(huì)發(fā)生。
You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.
你剝奪了那個(gè)人的緊迫感以及志向，但沒有任何作用。
事實(shí)上，20歲是成人發(fā)展(adult development)的關(guān)鍵階段，這段時(shí)間會(huì)塑造你的未來。
Meg Jay告誡20多歲的年輕人，不要渾渾噩噩度過20歲，更不要把所有的壓力都留給30歲。
When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
當(dāng)很多事情被推到30多歲時(shí)，你會(huì)面臨巨大的30歲壓力——極短時(shí)間內(nèi)開始職業(yè)生涯，擇一城，選一人，生幾個(gè)娃。這些事情中有很多是不兼容的，就如研究所示，在30多歲這個(gè)階段同時(shí)完成這么多事，壓力和難度實(shí)在是太大了。
后來，Meg Jay遇到了另一位年輕患者Emma，她遇到了身份認(rèn)同難題，對(duì)未來充滿迷茫。
而這一次，她給了Emma一些實(shí)用的建議，而這些建議也值得所有20多歲的年輕人來聽聽。
? To forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.
忘掉身份危機(jī)，獲得一些身份資本。
By getting identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are.
獲得身份資本，是指做些可以增加你自身價(jià)值的事。
? The urban tribe is overrated.
不要局限于你的核心小圈子。
urban tribe：住在大城市的年輕人組成的小圈子。
New pieces of capital and new people to date almost always come from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties.
新的資本，新的約會(huì)對(duì)象大都來自圈外。新事物正是來自所謂的弱關(guān)系里。
? The time to start choosing your family is now.
現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候選擇你自己的家庭了。
The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.
考慮婚姻問題的最佳時(shí)間是開始婚姻前，這意味著像挑選工作那樣有意識(shí)地挑選愛情。
總之，不要指望30歲彌補(bǔ)20歲的缺失，好好把握20多歲的時(shí)光。
Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your life right now.
30歲并非新20歲，所以要把握成人期，獲得一些身份資本，利用弱關(guān)系，選擇自己的家庭。不要被你不知道的，沒做過的事情定義人生，你要自己去決定。
