家有熊孩子的，請(qǐng)看

Nobody wants to spoil their child, but some parents will do whatever it takes to appease their little one.

沒(méi)人想要寵壞自己的孩子，但有些父母卻會(huì)為了安撫孩子而滿足他們的一切要求。

However according to a family therapist, threatening to punish your child for their bad behaviour, and then failing to follow through by taking action, is exactly what creates a spoiled brat.

一位家庭關(guān)系專家認(rèn)為，孩子出現(xiàn)不良行為的時(shí)候加以威脅卻沒(méi)能兌現(xiàn)，恰恰會(huì)制造出熊孩子。

Hal Runkel, author of new book Scream Free Parenting, explains that not insisting your child face the consequences of their actions is the single biggest mistake a parent can make when it comes to raising offspring.

《無(wú)尖叫式育兒》一書(shū)的作者Hal Runkel解釋說(shuō)，父母在育兒時(shí)，沒(méi)能堅(jiān)持讓孩子面對(duì)其行為帶來(lái)的后果，是父母的最大錯(cuò)誤。

Hal also believes that not letting your children figure out how the world works for themselves is a mistake.

他還認(rèn)為不讓孩子找出世界磨練他們的方式，也是一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。

'What spoils kids is not letting them taste the natural consequences of their mistakes,' he told Business Insider.'When we give them the impression that their choices don't have natural, logical consequences and we rescue them from those - when we say, "Hey, you do that one more time, I'm going to take that thing away," and then we don't take that thing away - that's actually what spoils kids.'

他表示：“寵壞孩子的一種方式，就是不讓他們品嘗其失誤帶來(lái)的自然后果。當(dāng)我們給他們留下他們的選擇不會(huì)帶來(lái)自然后果的印象時(shí)，比如說(shuō)‘嘿，你再這樣做我就把這東西拿走了’，但之后你卻并沒(méi)有拿走他的東西，這就是一種溺愛(ài)。”

As an example, he explains that words of warning are just empty threats.

作為例子，他還列舉了以下虛張聲勢(shì)的威脅：

Do not tell a child 'if you do that one more time', and threaten them with punishment for repeating a wrongdoing

不要跟孩子說(shuō)“如果你再這樣做”，并以重復(fù)某個(gè)錯(cuò)誤舉動(dòng)來(lái)威脅要懲罰他們。

Instead, immediately take action to send a clear message that will deter your child from behaving this way

相反，你應(yīng)該立即行動(dòng)起來(lái)，給你的孩子傳遞出清晰的訊息，這樣才能讓他不再做出類似舉動(dòng)。

Hal says: 'If you're not in control, you cannot be in charge'

Hal表示，如果你不控制自己的脾氣，那么你就不能管住他。

According to Hal, if your child hits their sibling with a toy and you threaten to take it away if they hit them 'one more time', your words will go over their head.

如果你們的孩子用某個(gè)玩具來(lái)打他的兄弟姐妹，而你威脅說(shuō)如果他們?cè)龠@樣做，他們就會(huì)把玩具拿走，那么他們的腦海里就會(huì)一直思考你的話。

By doing this, he explains, you're sending a message that they can get away with whatever behaviour they want.

你這樣做無(wú)疑是在告訴他們，他們能夠逃避任何懲罰。

Instead, he argues that you should immediately take the toy they are using to hit their sibling with away from them, which will send a clear message and put them off doing it again.

Hal認(rèn)為遇到這種情況你們應(yīng)該立即拿走孩子用來(lái)打人的玩具，清楚明白地讓他們不要再這樣做。

He also believes that it's essential to prepare your children for life without parents.One of the main ways parents can do this, he says, is to leave them to set their own alarm to wake up for school rather than waking them up yourself.

讓你的孩子準(zhǔn)備好過(guò)著沒(méi)有父母的生活，這一點(diǎn)在Hal看來(lái)也很重要。父母?jìng)兡軌蜃龅淖钪饕囊稽c(diǎn)，就是讓孩子自己定鬧鐘起床上學(xué)，而不是由你來(lái)叫醒他。

Summarising his views in his book, he concludes: 'Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents.'If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge.'By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionising your relationships in the process.'

Hal在他的書(shū)中表示：“育兒與小兒無(wú)關(guān)，而與父母有關(guān)。冷靜下來(lái)與孩子溝通，這樣你才能夠稍微擺脫內(nèi)心深處的恐懼，而更多地從你的原則出發(fā)。在這一過(guò)程中你們的關(guān)系會(huì)發(fā)生變化。”