莫談前任：與伴侶交往六禁忌

別進(jìn)展太快

It can be tempting to want to blow through the honeymoon stage and quickly settle into a comfortable routine or worse, do something drastic like move in together too soon.

匆忙度過蜜月階段，迅速進(jìn)入更舒適或者糟糕的下一階段，這很有誘惑力，那就做點(diǎn)兒激進(jìn)的事吧，比如過早地同居。

But wanting to spend every second together could be the death knell for your partner - so don't drop your whole life for them.

但想分分秒秒粘在一起可能導(dǎo)致分手，所以別為戀人傾注所有。

Make sure to spend a few nights alone, continue to make time for the things you love and still go out with your friends.

一定要獨(dú)處幾個晚上，繼續(xù)騰出時間做你喜歡的事，仍與你朋友出去玩。

It's important to retain a little mystery to keep things exciting, says Meredith Fineman, founder of Fifty First (J)Dates.

初戀50次(交友網(wǎng))創(chuàng)始人梅雷迪思?法恩曼說，重要的是要保持點(diǎn)神秘，保持住激情。

DON'T ASSUME THEY'RE PERFECT

別把伴侶理想化

In the early days of a new relationship, you always try a little - or a lot - harder to impress your new partner.

新關(guān)系早期，你總或多或少會更努力地嘗試打動你的新伴侶。

But don't expect that they will maintain those standards and give the relationship a bit more time before deciding if they're the one.

但別指望他們會一直符合這些標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，在決定是否找對了人之前，給戀情發(fā)展多一點(diǎn)時間。

Kate Figes, author of books including 'Couples: How We Make Love Last', says it's important to understand and accept that your new partner isn't infallible.

《情侶：我們?nèi)绾窝永m(xù)愛情》的作者凱特•菲格斯說，理解并接受你的伴侶會犯錯這一事實(shí)，這很重要。

DON'T BE POSSESSIVE

占有欲別太強(qiáng)

Clinginess is always a turn-off.

過分依戀往往導(dǎo)致分手。

Just because you're newly dating doesn't mean your partner is obligated to spend all their time with you.

僅因你們初識并不意味著你的伴侶有義務(wù)為你投入所有時間。

Expecting (or demanding) too much of their time could signal to them that you're not compatible or that you don't trust them.

期望(或要求)伴侶花大把時間陪你會給他們一個暗示：你不適合或者不信任他們。

DON'T AVOID SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS 別避免嚴(yán)肅的討論

Don't avoid talking about your long-term goals and ambitions: Do you want to get married? Do you want kids?

不要避免談?wù)撃愕拈L遠(yuǎn)目標(biāo)：你想結(jié)婚嗎?你想要孩子嗎?

They don't need to happen on the very first date, but shouldn't be avoided for too long.

不用第一天就闡明這些，可也不要拖太久。

DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES CONSTANTLY

別經(jīng)常談?wù)撃愕那叭?/p>

Talking about past relationships is often unavoidable, but in the early stages of a new one, it can do some serious damage.

談?wù)撨^去的關(guān)系往往是不可避免的，但對新歡來說這可能會很致命。

Not only could it suggest that you're not over your ex, it could also make you or your new partner draw comparisons.

這不僅說明你沒有走出上一段戀情，也會讓你或者你的新伴侶與之作比較。

Heather and Eric Viets, who both have Master's degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and run Preengaged.com, both agree that discussing past relationships is a major turn-off in a new one.

希瑟和艾瑞克-維茨都有婚姻和家庭治療碩士學(xué)位，并且運(yùn)行“婚前”網(wǎng)站，他們都認(rèn)為，討論前任是新關(guān)系出現(xiàn)裂痕的重大原因。

DON'T LIE

別撒謊

Honesty is always the best policy and a new relationship is no different.

誠實(shí)始終是最好的良方，這在新的關(guān)系中也不例外。

It's best to communicate openly about what you want rather than lie to avoid an argument, as it's just delaying the inevitable.

最好公開地表達(dá)你想要什么，因?yàn)檫t早都會暴露出來，而非說謊避免討論。

Even little white lies - like pretending to enjoy the same music or movies - could lead to huge regrets if you end up forced to spend years putting up with something you hate.

即使善意的謊言——像假裝喜歡相同的音樂或電影——如果你最終被迫花費(fèi)多年時間忍受自己討厭的東西，都可能讓你非常后悔。