談話時(shí)一定不要有這些壞習(xí)慣

Conversations are a big part of our everyday lives. And whetheryou think of yourself as a world-class communicator or assomeone who would rather just send an email than deal withface-to-face chatter, chances are you have at least a few badcommunication habits that are driving people crazy.

談話是我們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪械囊淮蟛糠郑瑹o(wú)論你認(rèn)為自己是一位世界級(jí)的溝通大師，還是寧愿發(fā)郵件也不愿面對(duì)面地交談。不過(guò)很有可能，談話時(shí)你的一些壞習(xí)慣會(huì)讓人抓狂。

1.Constantly interrupting.

總是打斷別人。

We all have one thing in common when talking: We want to be listened to. So if you're one ofthose people who tend to jump in and interrupt or -- even worse -- try to complete people'ssentences for them, you need to keep yourself in check.

在談話的時(shí)候，我們所有人都有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)：我們都想要被傾聽(tīng)。所以，如果你常常去插話、打斷別人或是更糟----比如想要說(shuō)完他們的話，你就需要控制好你自己。

You might think your constant interjections are a way to show your level of engagement. But theyreally just make you a conversational bulldozer.

或許你覺(jué)得不斷的插話可以展示你的互動(dòng)程度，但是這只會(huì)讓你成為談話中的欺凌者。

2.Multitasking.

同時(shí)處理多項(xiàng)任務(wù)。

Conversations deserve your full attention -- and not just the halfhearted glances you're willing togive them when you manage to rip your focus away from your iPhone screen.

談話時(shí)你需要全神貫注----不要只是當(dāng)你從手機(jī)屏幕上轉(zhuǎn)移注意力時(shí)，你才愿意半心半意的瞥他們一眼。

Multitasking is a habit we're likely all guilty of. But you need to be present for your conversations,no matter how menial or futile they may seem. That means no scrolling through your email orsubconsciously thinking about your grocery list. Give your conversational partners the attentionthey deserve.

同時(shí)執(zhí)行多重任務(wù)，是我們都很容易養(yǎng)成的壞習(xí)慣。然而你要參與到對(duì)話中，不管談話是多么的乏味或無(wú)用。那樣意味著，你不能從頭到尾滾動(dòng)讀一遍你的電子郵件，亦或不知不覺(jué)就思考你的購(gòu)物清單。請(qǐng)給予談話對(duì)象他們應(yīng)得的注意力。

3.Using qualifiers.

使用修飾性詞匯。

"Don't take this personally, but..."; "This might be a bad idea, but..."; or "I know what you'rethinking, but..."

“不要以為我是在針對(duì)你，但是……”，“這可能是個(gè)壞主意，但是……”，或者“我知道你在想什么，但是……”。

Qualifiers exist for nearly every situation. But if you have the tendency to overuse them, you maybe driving people up a wall. Why? Well, while these prefacing statements might seem like a greatway to sugarcoat your sentences, they often just come off as condescending and unnecessary.

幾乎每個(gè)地方都會(huì)用到修飾性詞匯，但如果你過(guò)度使用修飾性詞匯，就會(huì)使別人非常生氣。為什么呢?用這些開(kāi)場(chǎng)白修飾你的話，看起來(lái)是一個(gè)很好的辦法，但其往往只會(huì)給別人帶來(lái)一種居高臨下和沒(méi)有必要的感覺(jué)。

4.Equating your experiences.

將你的經(jīng)歷等同于別人。

Tell me if this situation sounds familiar: Someone is explaining a difficult problem he's currentlyfacing. You immediately retort with "I know exactly how you feel!" and then launch into your ownlong-winded tale of a time you experienced something that's not even the least bit similar.

請(qǐng)告訴我下面這種情況聽(tīng)起來(lái)是不是很熟悉：某個(gè)人正在說(shuō)他面臨的一個(gè)難題，你馬上就回嘴“我知道你的感受!”，然后就開(kāi)始你自己的長(zhǎng)篇大論，哪怕你說(shuō)的經(jīng)歷與他那個(gè)沒(méi)有一丁點(diǎn)兒相似。

It's important to remember that human experiences are all different. Your attempts to showempathy are admirable. But in most cases, you're better off just listening and lending support.

重要的是你要記住，每個(gè)人的經(jīng)歷都是不同的。你試圖表現(xiàn)出感同身受是一件好事。但在大多數(shù)情況下，你最好只是傾聽(tīng)和給予支持。

5.Floundering.

言語(yǔ)錯(cuò)亂。

We've all had to deal with those people who seem to just ramble on endlessly without a point --those people who appear to be talking simply because they like the sound of their own voices.

我們都遇見(jiàn)過(guò)，有些人說(shuō)話似乎沒(méi)有中心，東拉西扯地說(shuō)個(gè)沒(méi)完----那些人好像一直在淺顯地談?wù)?，因?yàn)樗麄兿矚g聽(tīng)他們自己的聲音。

Needless to say, you don't want to garner this reputation for yourself by constantly chiming inwithout a clear purpose. When you do decide to speak up, make sure that you're prepared to beclear and concise. That's the mark of a skilled communicator.

不用說(shuō)，你肯定不想自己因?yàn)闊o(wú)目的地不斷插嘴而得到這樣的名聲。所以在你決定發(fā)言時(shí)，請(qǐng)確保自己準(zhǔn)備說(shuō)的話是清晰簡(jiǎn)潔的。這才表現(xiàn)你談話很有技巧。

6.Avoiding direct contact.

避免直接接觸。

I'm a big fan of the convenience of email and text messages. However, if you've ever dealt withsomeone who took the time to write out a lengthy message for something he or she could haveeasily explained to you in person in as few as two sentences, you know how frustrating that canbe.

我特別喜愛(ài)電子郵件和手機(jī)短信的便利性。然而即便如此，如果你曾經(jīng)遇到某個(gè)人花時(shí)間寫(xiě)了一條很長(zhǎng)的消息給你，而這個(gè)消息其實(shí)他(她)本可以當(dāng)面用兩句話就能容易地向你解釋清楚，你就會(huì)知道這令人多么的沮喪。

The never-ending assortment of communication tools available today has made us all a little lesswilling to actually talk to one another. So before hitting send on a message, ask yourself if this issomething that could be done more efficiently in person or over the phone. You'll save yourself(and the person on the receiving end!) a lot of headaches.

如今不斷推陳出新的通訊工具隨處可得，使得我們已不大愿意和別人真誠(chéng)的交談。因此，在發(fā)送一條短信之前，問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己是當(dāng)面說(shuō)更有效，還是在手機(jī)上發(fā)短信好些。這樣就給你自己(和接收端的那個(gè)人)免了許多頭疼的事情。

7.Waiting instead of listening.

等待而不是傾聽(tīng)。

As my mom always loves to tell me, "There's a big difference between hearing and listening!" Andwhen you're having a conversation with someone, you should be actively listening.

正如我的媽媽總是喜歡告訴我，“聽(tīng)到和傾聽(tīng)之間是有很大的區(qū)別的!” 當(dāng)你和某人談話時(shí)，你應(yīng)該積極地傾聽(tīng)。

That means you're not just staying silent while thinking of your next point and waiting for yourchance to talk again. Instead, you're engaged in what that person is explaining. Trust me -- peoplecan tell when you're tuning them out.

這意味著你在思考下一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)并等待機(jī)會(huì)再次交談時(shí)，不能只是保持沉默。相反，你要開(kāi)始投入到對(duì)話中。相信我----別人會(huì)告訴你什么時(shí)候可以說(shuō)出來(lái)。

8.Using filler words.

使用贅詞。

"Hey, Jason. Umm ... I'm just checking in on that, uhhh ... report to see if you think you'll, like,have that done by the end of the day."

“嗨，詹森。嗯……我正在檢查那個(gè)，額……報(bào)告……看看你是否喜歡，能在今天結(jié)束前做好。”

You knew this one had to make it onto the list somewhere. This is perhaps one of the toughestbad habits to break. We're all so used to littering our sentences with these unnecessary words --it's like a nervous tic for most of us. But make your best efforts to cut them out. Yourconversations will be much cleaner and more polished.

要知道，這一點(diǎn)是必須被記在失禮行為的清單上的。這或許是其中一個(gè)最難改掉的壞習(xí)慣了。我們都習(xí)慣說(shuō)話時(shí)加上這些沒(méi)用的詞----對(duì)于我們大多數(shù)來(lái)說(shuō)，這就像許多人緊張時(shí)不斷重復(fù)的口頭禪。我們要盡量避免使用他們，這樣你們之間的談話就會(huì)更精煉、簡(jiǎn)潔。

Breaking a bad habit isn't always easy. But channel your energy into removing these faux pas fromyour conversations and you're sure to be a better communicator.

改掉壞習(xí)慣并不是件容易的事情，但是當(dāng)你投入精力從你的談話中去除這些失禮行為后，你就一定能成為一個(gè)更好的溝通者。