親愛的別生氣：10種方法教你控制憤怒情緒

Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with anger.

下面是幾個控制憤怒情緒的實(shí)用方法。

1. When you are angry say nothing憤怒時請保持沉默

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

人在憤怒時說出的話必定是火上澆油，很容易傷害他人感情。我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，在憤怒時講話，對方也會消極回應(yīng)，使氣氛更加緊張。如果能保持沉默，或許憤怒反倒會漸漸平息。

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” - Thomas Jefferson

“憤怒的時候，先數(shù)到十再開口;如果非常憤怒，那就數(shù)到一百吧。”——托馬斯·杰斐遜

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry無視那些激怒我們的人

Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.

有些人的趣味就是那么惡俗，總是故意挑你生氣。但是，如果我們無視他們的言行，覺得他們的言行根本就不值得費(fèi)心，那么這些言行自然就不攻而破了。而且，不管他們怎么挑撥，只要我們不予理睬，他們也會感到自討沒趣，便也不再騷擾我們。

3. Use reason to stop anger理智停止憤怒

When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself “This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse.” Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.

當(dāng)我們怒上心頭時，趕緊打住，告訴自己：“這么生氣又能怎樣呢?發(fā)火只能使一切更糟吧。” 就算當(dāng)時確實(shí)有些氣憤不過，但在心里默念這些能稍微趨緩憤怒情緒。

4. Look kindly upon Others和善看待對方

Another visualization, suggested by spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 year old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.

還有一個是視覺化的方法，用精神導(dǎo)師帕拉姆漢薩·尤迦南達(dá)的話來說，就是把對方看成一個耍脾氣的5歲小孩。一旦你把對方看成一個無助的5歲小孩，心里就會感到同情與寬容了。如果是你的小弟弟不小心刺傷了你，你不至于憤怒到想要報(bào)復(fù)吧?或許，你會覺得弟弟太小還不懂事。當(dāng)家人偶爾使你抓狂時，這個辦法確實(shí)很管用。

5. Value Peace more than ange珍惜平和心態(tài)，遠(yuǎn)離憤怒情緒

If we value peace of mind as our most important treasure we will not allow anger to remain in our system. As Sri Chinmoy says:

如果將平和心態(tài)視為最重要的東西，那我們就絕不會讓憤怒破壞它了。正如斯里·奇莫伊大師所言：“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”

“或許你有一萬個理由可以對一個人發(fā)火，但是別忘了，當(dāng)你動怒時，你也會失去你最珍貴的平和心態(tài)。”

6. Always try to understand those who are cross嘗試?yán)斫獍l(fā)怒的人

Don’t worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.

不要擔(dān)心自己總是以防衛(wèi)的姿態(tài)面對批評。如果你能保持鎮(zhèn)定自若，對方或許會因自己對你發(fā)火而感到愧疚。同時受你的鎮(zhèn)靜情緒感染，他們或許也會不自覺地冷靜下來。

7. Focus on Something Completely Different轉(zhuǎn)移注意力

Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.

假如有人做了什么讓你生氣的事，那就多想想開心的事情。對付消極的靈丹妙藥莫過于將注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到積極方面了。

8. Breathe Deeply深呼吸

The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.

簡單的深呼吸動作能相對減輕憤怒的情緒。

9. Meditation冥想

Practice meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times.

經(jīng)常冥想有助于保持內(nèi)心祥和平靜。如果我們有辦法達(dá)到內(nèi)心平靜，何不在憤怒時用一用呢?

10. Smile微笑

When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.

微笑能化解許多消極境況。微笑意味著對他人心存善意。微笑無需花費(fèi)金錢，卻能有效緩和緊張的氣氛。

Common Sense小常識

If you leave your unlocked bike in the centre of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can befrustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should minimise this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike. If we feel there is an injustice in our workplace, we should work to resolve it; this will make our work environment more peaceful and less prone to creating anger. If we have a partner who is abusive, the solution is not just dealing with our own anger, but finding a more peaceful living situation.

如果你把自行車停在鎮(zhèn)中心卻不加鎖，車很可能會被偷。而車被偷自然會讓你感到沮喪憤怒。所以，要避免這種憤怒情緒，最簡單的莫過于先鎖好自行車。同樣，如果我們在工作中感到不公平，也應(yīng)該想辦法解決問題，這樣才能保證工作環(huán)境平靜舒心、沒有怒氣攪擾。如果我們的伴侶比較粗暴，那么我們不僅要疏導(dǎo)自己的憤怒情緒，也得想辦法尋求更適合的生活。

When we try to transcend anger, it doesn’t mean we have to acquiesce to injustice and unfairness. We should strive to make the world a better place. However, whatever our goals, it is always best to act with poise and a clear mind. Acting under the influence of anger makes it more difficult to attain what we wish to achieve.

當(dāng)我們嘗試克服憤怒情緒時，并不意味著默許不公平不公正現(xiàn)象。我們有責(zé)任讓世界更美好，但是，不管各自懷著怎樣的目標(biāo)，都應(yīng)保持頭腦清醒、泰然自若。帶著怒氣行事只會讓目標(biāo)離我們越來越遠(yuǎn)。