你能徹底改變自己的性格么?比如,從一個(gè)害羞之人變成一個(gè)在公眾面前登臺(tái)演講從不怯場的外向之人。
It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.
顯然,這并非易事,但是專家說這也不是天方夜譚。
First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.
首先,你需要不拘泥于過去的自己?!度A爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》報(bào)道了在過去幾年進(jìn)行的一些研究,研究發(fā)現(xiàn),人的性格會(huì)隨著經(jīng)歷一些人生大事而不斷變化,比如一段穩(wěn)定感情的開始、事業(yè)的晉升。
From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities improve as they mature.
在25至65歲之間,人們性格中積極的一面會(huì)不斷增強(qiáng)。大多數(shù)人都會(huì)變得更加親切、更具責(zé)任心、感情更專一。性格隨著人的成熟而日臻完善。
When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a researchpsychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate and 50 percent learned.
在接受《華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》采訪時(shí),美國緬因州科爾比學(xué)院的心理學(xué)家克里斯托弗•索托說:此處,研究人員所說的“性格”是指“(一個(gè)人)不會(huì)隨時(shí)間與具體情況而輕易改變的思維方式、感覺以及行為的特點(diǎn)。”而性格中與生俱來的部分與后天習(xí)得的部分各占50%。
Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains — openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion.
心理學(xué)家常使用“五大類”人格模型,將人類的性格分為五大類:開放型、勤奮型、宜人型、神經(jīng)質(zhì)和型外向型。
Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientioustend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low onneuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social andentrepreneurial occupations.
其中一些性格類型的人要比其他類型的人更容易成功。索托說,更勤奮的人在工作與學(xué)習(xí)中表現(xiàn)更好。宜人性高而神經(jīng)質(zhì)低的人更容易建立令人滿意且穩(wěn)定的人際關(guān)系。外向型的人則在社交與創(chuàng)業(yè)中表現(xiàn)突出。
Time is key
時(shí)間是關(guān)鍵
According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.
據(jù)索托所言,一個(gè)人性格的細(xì)微改變都可能對(duì)其感情、事業(yè)、健康與幸福帶來巨大影響。但改變需要時(shí)間。
“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.
他說,“你應(yīng)該從改變行為開始,如果你能在一段時(shí)間內(nèi)保持新的行為方式,那么它就會(huì)被滲透到你的性格特點(diǎn)中。”
Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.
你又要從哪里開始(改變)呢?經(jīng)常現(xiàn)身美國電視節(jié)目的知名性格專家理查德•里瓦克的建議是:“首先,我們需要認(rèn)識(shí)到自身性格中的哪一部分對(duì)自己產(chǎn)生了影響。如果我常常會(huì)因?yàn)榕c同事的爭論而遭到解雇,卻責(zé)怪他人,那么我就會(huì)意識(shí)到自己必須在某些方面有所改變。”
Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal quoted him as saying.
不過也不要把你的目標(biāo)定得太高。要有耐心。來自澳大利亞悉尼的行為策略師沃倫•肯諾就認(rèn)為從小處做起很重要。確定你第一步要做什么,然后進(jìn)行練習(xí),不要擔(dān)心最初的結(jié)果。正如《華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》引用他的話:“這就像學(xué)踢足球一樣。你關(guān)注的是腳法,而不是能否射門。”
You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be ready for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”
你還應(yīng)該讓身邊的人知道你在做什么??现Z說:“他們不僅能為你提供支持,而且你的改變也意味著對(duì)他們的改變——如果你不事先告訴他們的話,他們也許會(huì)對(duì)你的改變感到難以接受或是還沒有做好準(zhǔn)備。”