愛擔(dān)心VS樂天派：教你11招對(duì)抗憂慮
可惜的是，憂慮是生活中無法避免的。不好的事情定然會(huì)發(fā)生，而人類的本能反應(yīng)就是去考慮可能由之帶來的負(fù)面后果。
However, worry is rarely productive -- "it's something we do over and over again, without much resolution, and it's typically of the worst-case scenario of the future," explains Jason Moser, Ph.D., an assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Michigan State University, who has conducted studies on worry.
然而，憂慮很少帶給我們動(dòng)力—“我們會(huì)一遍遍地?fù)?dān)心，而沒有什么解決辦法，而且擔(dān)心的通常是未來最壞的情形，” 賈森·莫澤博士這樣解釋道，他現(xiàn)在密歇根州立大學(xué)心理學(xué)部門任助理教授，已經(jīng)開展了諸多關(guān)于憂慮的調(diào)研。
"There’s always an element of uncertainty, always an element of catastrophe," he tells HuffPost. Unlike fear, which has a more pin-pointable source (like a spider on the wall), people worry over "an amorphous, future uncertain threat -- something bad that might happen."
“總有不確定元素，總有災(zāi)難性的可能，” 賈森·莫澤博士在《赫芬頓郵報(bào)》講道。憂慮和恐懼不同，恐懼是有具體原因的(比如墻上的蜘蛛)，而人們擔(dān)心的卻是“無形的，未來不確定的威脅—可能發(fā)生的不好的事情”。
While the research isn't clear on the extent to which people are predisposed to worry, it is clear that there are some personality types that are more linked to worrying than others. Neuroticism seems to be tied to worrying, for instance, as is general intolerance of uncertainty, Moser says. And while everyone worries from time to time, it is possible to worry so much that it starts to have a noticeable impact on your daily life.
研究并沒有清晰地表明哪些人更容易憂慮，但明確地發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些特定的個(gè)性特點(diǎn)更容易導(dǎo)致憂慮。比如神經(jīng)過敏，通常很難接受不確定的結(jié)果，就易導(dǎo)致憂慮，莫澤博士講道。而且每個(gè)人都會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地憂慮，這些憂慮達(dá)到一定程度就會(huì)開始明顯地影響日常生活。
But even if you are a worrier, you're not doomed -- there are a number of effective strategies that worriers can use to stop the cycle. Moser and Christine Purdon, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, professor and executive director of the Centre for Mental Health Research at the University of Waterloo, shared some of the most effective habits and strategies for squelching worry, as well as some common traits shared by people who aren't bogged down by it:
但是，即使你是個(gè)容易憂慮的人，這也并非無可救藥——有很多有效策略可以讓憂慮者停止這個(gè)惡性循環(huán)。莫澤博士和克里斯蒂·博登博士(專業(yè)認(rèn)證心理學(xué)家，現(xiàn)為滑鐵盧大學(xué)的心理健康研究中心教授和執(zhí)行主任)在本文分享了一些能夠有效消除憂慮的習(xí)慣和策略，以及擺脫憂慮的人群的共有特征。
They focus on the present.
活在當(dāng)下
Perhaps one of the biggest differences between worriers and non-worriers is the ability to stay in the present, and not get bogged down by things that have yet to happen. Purdon calls it a "worry chain" -- the idea that one worry will spur a "what if," which spurs another worry and another "what if," and so on. Non-worriers are able to look at a problem and recognize what solution needs to be implemented, "but a worrier isn't able to get that kind of distance," she explains. "The mind goes a lot faster."
活在當(dāng)下，不被尚未發(fā)生的事情困擾，這種能力也許就是衡量一個(gè)人是否容易憂慮的最主要區(qū)別。博登博士稱之為“憂慮連鎖”—就是一種擔(dān)心會(huì)激發(fā)另一個(gè)“假如 “，再激發(fā)下一個(gè)“假如”，如此產(chǎn)生連鎖效應(yīng)。不易憂慮的人能夠去看待難題并且找出需要的解決方法，“但是易憂慮的人卻無法達(dá)到那種程度，”她解釋道， “他們的思緒轉(zhuǎn)得很快。”
For instance, say your son comes home with a bad grade. If you're a worrier, you might then worry that this will cause your son to fail the class, which will then impair him from getting into college. However, if you're a non-worrier, you'll realize that the immediate issue at hand is just that your son needs to study harder in this particular class -- and that's that. "I'm able to say, 'He usually does really well, he's smart, he’s dedicated, he’ll be fine; this is a blip, not a pattern,'" Purdon says. Whereas when worriers become anxious, their "intentional focus narrows to threat cues. They can get themselves very anxious very quickly."
比如，你的兒子考試考砸回到家。如果你是個(gè)容易憂慮的人，你可能會(huì)擔(dān)心這會(huì)導(dǎo)致孩子最后掛科，可能會(huì)影響他上大學(xué)。然而，如果你是樂天派，你會(huì)意識(shí)到當(dāng)下之急就是小孩需要在這門課上多用點(diǎn)兒功——僅此而已。“我可以說，‘他一直做得很不錯(cuò)，聰明又用功，他沒問題的;這只是個(gè)小挫折，不是常態(tài)，” 博登講道，然而，當(dāng)憂慮者焦慮起來時(shí)，他們會(huì)“有意識(shí)地將注意力縮小到那些威脅性因素上，然后很快讓自己不安起來。”
They practice mindfulness
學(xué)會(huì)專注
Because staying in the present is so fundamental to squashing worry, practicing mindfulness can help you to steer focus away from a hypothetical issue that could develop down the road. "It keeps you in the here and now and it helps you be more aware of your thoughts," Purdon says.
因?yàn)榛钤诋?dāng)下對(duì)于消除憂慮是如此重要，學(xué)會(huì)專注能幫助你將注意力從假設(shè)性的問題上轉(zhuǎn)移開來，從而不再繼續(xù)往下想。“專注的力量能夠讓你留在此時(shí)此刻，也讓你更能注意到自己的想法，” 博登博士講道。
And therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy, can also help worriers stop the negative cycle, since they focus "on the idea of not wrestling and disconfirming the worries, but getting people to focus on their life and values and focus on the present moment so they can make decisions," Moser adds.
一些專業(yè)療法，比如認(rèn)知行為治療和接受與投入療法，也能幫助憂慮者阻止這種惡性循環(huán)，因?yàn)檫@些療法的核心是“不去對(duì)抗和否定憂慮，而是引導(dǎo)人們專注于他們自己的生活和價(jià)值，以及當(dāng)下的情境，以便做決定。” 莫澤博士講道。
Their brains actually function differently in a worry-inducing event
憂慮來襲時(shí)，讓大腦慢下來減壓
Moser recently had a study come out in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, showing that the brains of worriers and non-worriers actually work differently in a stressful event. For the study, Moser and his colleagues had 71 female study participants answer surveys that indicated whether they were generally positive thinkers or negative thinkers/worriers. Then, the participants looked at negative images -- such as a woman having a knife held to her throat by a masked man -- as their brain activity was monitored and recorded.
莫澤近來在《變態(tài)心理學(xué)雜志》發(fā)表的一項(xiàng)研究表示，憂慮者和樂天派在面對(duì)緊急事件時(shí)，大腦的工作方式是不同的。為了這項(xiàng)研究，莫澤博士和他的同事找來了71 位女士去回答調(diào)研問題，這些問題能夠反映她們是普遍意義上的積極思考者還是消極憂慮者。之后，參與者會(huì)被安排去看負(fù)面圖片——比如一個(gè)女子被蒙面人用刀指著喉嚨——與此同時(shí)參與者的大腦活動(dòng)會(huì)被監(jiān)測和記錄下來。
Moser found that the brains of the positive thinkers were less active than those of the negative thinkers/worriers. In fact, "the worriers actually showed a paradoxical backfiring effect in their brains when asked to decrease their negative emotions,” he explained in a statement. “This suggests they have a really hard time putting a positive spin on difficult situations and actually make their negative emotions worse even when they are asked to think positively.”
莫澤發(fā)現(xiàn)積極思考者的大腦比消極憂慮者的活動(dòng)量少。事實(shí)上，“憂慮者在被要求減少負(fù)面情緒的時(shí)候竟然產(chǎn)生了矛盾的逆反效應(yīng)，”他在一項(xiàng)陳述中解釋道。“這表明對(duì)憂慮者而言，在困難的情境下積極思考非常困難，在被要求去積極思考時(shí)，他們的負(fù)面情緒甚至更糟。”
They're more willing to take chances
勇敢嘗試
While worriers have a hard time making decisions -- they take a long time because they can become crippled by all the potential negative outcomes -- non-worriers are more willing to test out solutions to a problem even if a bad outcome is possible, Moser says. In that same vein, non-worriers are also more flexible in the way they think about things, so they don't get stuck in a negative thinking rut.
憂慮者通常很難做出決定——之所以花很多時(shí)間是因?yàn)樗锌赡艿呢?fù)面結(jié)果都能把他們擊垮——樂天派則更愿意去嘗試諸多解決方式，即使冒著失敗的可能，莫澤講道。如此一來，樂天派能更加靈活地思考問題，因而不會(huì)陷在負(fù)面的思維套路中。
They have a sense of perspective
置身事外，客觀看待
Non-worriers are able to distance themselves from a situation in order to gain perspective. However, worriers can increase their perspective, Moser explains. One method for doing this is thinking of all the worst possible scenarios, and then evaluating how likely each of them is to really happen. For example: If a worrier is concerned about losing her job, she may jump to the worst-case scenario, which is that she will end up living under a bridge, homeless and alone. But Moser says that talking a worrier through a scenario like this helps her understand how unlikely that outcome is to happen.
樂天派能夠在特定的情境中讓自己置身事外從而可以去客觀看待。其實(shí)，憂慮者也可以提高客觀看待問題的能力，莫澤博士解釋道。一種應(yīng)對(duì)方式是去設(shè)想所有最糟糕的可能結(jié)果，然后評(píng)估每種結(jié)果真正發(fā)生的幾率到底有多大。比如，如果一個(gè)憂慮者擔(dān)心自己丟掉工作，她可以思維跳躍設(shè)想最壞的情景——最終無家可歸，孤身寄居橋下。莫澤講到，向憂慮者談及這樣一個(gè)情形能夠幫助她認(rèn)識(shí)到這種結(jié)果出現(xiàn)的幾率是多么小。
Moser suggests another simple strategy to gain perspective: Using your own name instead of "I" when referring to your emotions. For instance, saying "I'm going to fail" is harsh and doesn't allow any distance between you and the thing you're worried about. But "if you talk about yourself in the third person, you can take better perspective," Moser says.
莫澤也提到另一種客觀看待問題的方法：提及自己的感受時(shí)，用你的名字而不是“我”去指代，舉個(gè)例子，說“我會(huì)失敗”聽起來很殘酷，這會(huì)讓你和自己所擔(dān)心的事情聽起來很近。然而，“如果你站在另外一個(gè)人的角度去談?wù)撟约?，你就可以做到更加客觀，” 莫澤講道。
They get to the root of their worry
設(shè)想最壞的情形，找出憂慮的根源
The problem with worrying is that it can spin out of control until the thing you're worried about is 10 steps removed from your immediate issue. That's why it's so important to figure out what the real problem is in order to stop the worry cycle.
憂慮的問題就在于它會(huì)一發(fā)不可收拾，直到你擔(dān)心的事情排到你眼下急需解決的問題10步以外。這就是為什么找出真正的癥結(jié)所在并停止憂慮循環(huán)如此重要。
"When I work with worriers, I try to work on them with problem identification, and to help them be comfortable doing that," Purdon says. "Yes, there are some problems that could lead to something else, but [let's] not worry about that right now because it's not happening right now."
“和憂慮者一起工作的時(shí)候，我嘗試引導(dǎo)他們找出問題，并且讓他們習(xí)慣于這么做，” 博登講道。“是的，有些問題的確可以引發(fā)其他問題，但是先別去管它們，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在還沒發(fā)生。”
It's important to move from problem-generation, which is what worriers are prone to do, to problem-solving. "Worriers think what they're doing is constructive -- that by anticipating [the future problems], it's helpful in some way," Purdon says. "It's reasonable, to some extent, to do that, but they can't stop themselves once they get started."
讓憂慮者從“產(chǎn)生問題”向“解決問題”轉(zhuǎn)移是非常重要的。“憂慮者認(rèn)為他們未雨綢繆的做法在某些方面是非常有益的，” 博登博士講道。“從某種程度上說這樣做是有道理的，但是憂慮者一旦開始就停不下來了。”
They don't stop worrying -- they just designate time for it
安排專門的時(shí)間，讓自己擔(dān)心個(gè)夠
"One of the reasons why people engage their worry is they think, 'This is an issue I must sort out now, I have to anticipate and plan against these outcomes.' It grabs attention off what they need to be attending to, whether it be job, spouse, kids, whatever," Purdon explains. So, she recommends using a strategy called the "worry chair." It works like this -- reserve a 15-minute time during the day where you can just think and ponder over your worries on your own. Don't worry outside those 15 minutes, and make sure that you're spending your worry session in the same spot (hence the term "worry chair"!) each day.
“人們花時(shí)間憂慮的原因之一就是他們會(huì)去思考，‘這個(gè)問題我必須現(xiàn)在想清楚，我要先預(yù)估并且為這些可能的結(jié)果進(jìn)行計(jì)劃和準(zhǔn)備。’這樣的思考將他們的注意力從原本應(yīng)該專注的事物(無論是工作，配偶，孩子或者其他)上分散開來，” 博登解釋道。因此，她推薦采用一種名為“憂慮椅”的方式。具體如下——白天預(yù)留出15分鐘時(shí)間，讓自己可以全部用來考慮和衡量自己擔(dān)心的事情。這15分鐘以外的時(shí)間，不要有任何擔(dān)心，同時(shí)保證你每天都在同一個(gè)地方度過自己的憂慮時(shí)間(這就是“憂慮椅”的說法!)。
"What that means is when you're worried during the day, you can say, 'I'll think about that later. I can switch my attention off that and go on to other things,'" Purdon says. "And what they find is, 'I'm not even worried about that anymore.' But giving them permission to worry about it, but later, allows them to switch the attention away from the thought."
“這樣做的意義在于當(dāng)你白天憂慮的時(shí)候，你可以告訴自己，‘這個(gè)晚點(diǎn)再去想，我可以轉(zhuǎn)移自己的注意力接著干其他事情，’” 博登博士講道。“然后他們會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，‘我甚至已經(jīng)不再為那件事?lián)睦病?rsquo;但是允許他們?nèi)?dān)心，只是晚點(diǎn)兒，可以讓他們將注意力從擔(dān)心的想法中轉(zhuǎn)移開來。”
They have confidence they can handle whatever comes at them
相信自己：發(fā)生任何事情，都能應(yīng)對(duì)
"People with high worry not only generate ideas about what could go wrong, they also lack confidence in their ability to cope with what could go wrong," Purdon explains, adding that this is ironic considering worriers actually perform quite well in a crisis since they've spent so much time thinking about the worst-case scenarios and have normal coping abilities. Non-worriers, on the other hand, possess the confidence that if something were to happen, they'll just ... handle it.
“容易憂慮的人不但會(huì)有各種想法認(rèn)為事情會(huì)出錯(cuò)，而且缺乏對(duì)自己應(yīng)對(duì)能力的自信，” 博登也同時(shí)講到，由于憂慮者其實(shí)能夠很好地處理危機(jī)，這一點(diǎn)是有些諷刺的，因?yàn)樗麄冊缫鸦撕芏鄷r(shí)間去設(shè)想最壞的可能并且有了正常的應(yīng)對(duì)能力。從另一個(gè)方面來講，樂天派自信地認(rèn)為如果有事情發(fā)生，他們只需要……處理它。
They have the ability to see positive outcomes in seemingly bleak situations
即便事實(shí)黯淡，也能看到積極的結(jié)果
Take the graphic image Moser used in his Journal of Abnormal Psychology study, described earlier. If you were to look at an image of a woman being held at knifepoint by a masked man, what do you think the next immediate outcome would be? A worrier would likely only think of the worst-case scenario, while a non-worrier would have the capacity to think, "That woman is in distress, but maybe she breaks away from her assailant and runs to safety," Moser explains. Non-worriers are able to see that there could be a positive outcome to a negative event.
想想之前提到的莫澤博士在《變態(tài)心理學(xué)雜志》上發(fā)表的研究中用過的圖片。如果你看到圖片上一個(gè)女子被蒙面漢用刀指著喉嚨，你認(rèn)為緊接著的結(jié)果會(huì)是什么?憂慮者很有可能只會(huì)想到最壞的情形，然而樂天派的人會(huì)有大腦容量去思考，“那個(gè)女子處于危難之中，但也許她能夠從蒙面漢手中逃脫，跑到安全的地方，”莫澤博士解釋道。樂天派的人有能力從負(fù)面的事情中看到積極的結(jié)果。
They ask themselves the right questions
問自己三個(gè)問題
Worriers who are trying to tamp down on their worrying tendencies could find it useful to ask themselves a series of questions when they're going down a negative path. "Ask, 'Is it my problem?" And secondly, 'Do I have any control over it?'" Purdon says. "Thirdly, the next question people can ask themselves is, 'Have I already done everything about it that I can? And is it imminent?' If it's not imminent, then there's no reason to worry about it now."
想要平息憂慮?當(dāng)陷入負(fù)面情緒時(shí)問自己一系列問題：“提問，‘是我的問題么?”第二個(gè)問題，“我有辦法控制它么?’” 博登說道，“第三個(gè)問題，‘我已經(jīng)做到所有自己能做的了么?這事緊迫么?’如果不急，就沒有理由現(xiàn)在去擔(dān)心啊。”
They know how to perceive their negative emotions
正確對(duì)待負(fù)面情緒
?"The most severe chronic worriers [are] less accepting of their emotions, which means they're intolerant of uncertainty and also find negative emotions in particular to not be very acceptable," Moser explains. Meanwhile, people who have a healthier psychological outlook tend to look at negative emotions as a sign that whatever is causing those emotions -- whether it be relationships, or work, or bills -- needs attention. They use emotions to make informed decisions.
“癥狀最嚴(yán)重的慢性憂慮者很難接受自己的情緒，就是說他們無法容忍不確定性，尤其很難接受負(fù)面的情緒，” 莫澤解釋道。然而，在心理觀念健康的人們看來，負(fù)面情緒只是一種征兆，表明引發(fā)這些情緒的根源——無論是人際關(guān)系，工作或者賬單——需要注意而已。他們會(huì)利用自己的情緒全面地做出決定。
