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雙語《如何享受人生,享受工作》 第二十一章 給別人留個面子

所屬教程:譯林版·如何享受人生,享受工作

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2022年07月05日

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Chapter 21 Let the Other Person Save Face

Years ago the General Electric Company was faced with the delicate task of removing Charles Steinmetz from the head of a department. Steinmetz, a genius of the first magnitude when it came to electricity, was a failure as the head of the calculating department. Yet the company didn't dare offend the man. He was indispensable— and highly sensitive. So they gave him a new title. They made him Consulting Engineer of the General Electric Company—a new title for work he was already doing—and let someone else head up the department.

Steinmetz was happy.

So were the officers of G. E. They had gently maneuvered their most temperamental star, and they had done it without a storm—by letting him save face.

Letting one save face! How important, how vitally important that is! And how few of us ever stop to think of it! We ride roughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a child or an employee in front of others, without even considering the hurt to the other person's pride. Whereas a few minutes' thought, a considerate word or two, a genuine understanding of the other person's attitude. would go so far toward alleviating the sting!

Let's remember that the next time we are faced with the distasteful necessity of discharging or reprimanding an employee.

“Firing employees is not much fun. Getting fired is even less fun.”(I'm quoting now from a letter written me by Marshall A. Granger, a certified public accountant. )“Our business is mostly seasonal. There-fore we have to let a lot of people go after the income tax rush is over.

“It's a byword in our profession that no one enjoys wielding the ax. Consequently, the custom has developed of getting it over as soon as possible, and usually in the following way:‘Sit down, Mr. Smith. The season's over, and we don't seem to see any more assignments for you. Of course, you understood you were only employed for the busy season anyhow, etc., etc.’

“The effect on these people is one of disappointment and a feeling of being‘let down’. Most of them are in the accounting field for life, and they retain no particular love for the firm that drops them so casually.

“I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel go with a little more tact and consideration. So I call each one in only after carefully thinking over his or her work during the winter. And I've said something like this:‘Mr. Smith, you've done a fine job (if he has).That time we sent you to Newark, you had a tough assignment. You were on the spot, but you came through with flying colors, and we want you to know the firm is proud of you. You've got the stuff—you're going a long way, wherever you're working. This firm believes in you, and is rooting for you, and we don't want you to forget it.’

“Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better about being fired. They don't feel‘let down’. They know if we had work for them, we'd keep them on. And when we need them again, they come to us with a keen personal affection.”

At one session of our course, two class members discussed the negative effects of faultfinding versus the positive effects of letting the other person save face.

Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incident that occurred in his company:“At one of our production meetings, a vice president was asking very pointed questions of one of our production supervisors regarding a production process. His tone of voice was aggressive and aimed at pointing out faulty performance on the part of the supervisor. Not wanting to be embarrassed in front of his peers, the supervisor was evasive in his responses. This caused the vice president to lose his temper, berate the supervisor and accuse him of lying.

“Any working relationship that might have existed prior to this encounter was destroyed in a few brief moments. This supervisor, who was basically a good worker, was useless to our company from that time on. A few months later he left our firm and went to work for a competitor, where I understand he is doing a fine job.”

Another class member, Anna Mazzone, related how a similar incident had occurred at her job—but what a difference in approach and results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketing specialist for a food packer, was given her first major assignment—the test-marketing of a new product. She told the class:“When the results of the test came in, I was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning, and the entire test had to be done all over again. To make this worse, I had no time to discuss it with my boss before the meeting in which I was to make my report on the project.

“When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking with fright. I had all I could do to keep from breaking down, but I resolved I would not cry and have all those men make remarks about women not being able to handle a management job because they are too emotional. I made my report briefly and stated that due to an error I would repeat the study before the next meeting. I sat down, expecting my boss to blow up.

“Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company. He assured me, in front of all my colleagues, that he had faith in me and knew I had done by best, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was the reason for the failure.

“I left that meeting with my head up in the air and with the determination that I would never let that boss of mine down again.”

Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote:“I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”

A real leader will always follow…

LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE.

第二十一章 給別人留個面子

幾年前通用電氣公司面臨著一個棘手的問題——撤回查爾斯·斯坦梅茨部門負(fù)責(zé)人的職位。斯坦梅茨這個電力方面一等一的天才,在當(dāng)計算部門負(fù)責(zé)人這件事上卻很失敗。然而公司不敢直接冒犯他,他是公司不可或缺的人才,也有一顆非常敏感的心。所以他們送給了他一個新的頭銜——通用電氣公司工程師顧問。這是新的名稱,舊的職責(zé),但他將不再領(lǐng)導(dǎo)整個部門。

斯坦梅茨欣然接受了。

通用公司的其他官員也都很開心,他們溫柔地操縱了最喜怒無常的明星。因為他們保住了斯坦梅茨的面子,所以沒有引起軒然大波。

讓對方保住面子!這很重要!非常重要!而想到這點的人卻如此之少!我們殘暴地踐踏著別人的感情,從而達(dá)到自己的目的。我們在公開場合對孩子或員工挑錯、威脅和批評,完全不顧及對方的尊嚴(yán)。多考慮幾分鐘,多說幾個體貼的詞匯,真正去了解對方的態(tài)度,則能把刺激降到最低!

下次當(dāng)我們需要解雇或斥責(zé)一個員工時,請記住這一點。

“解雇員工并不好玩。被解雇更不好玩?!蔽乙玫氖亲詴嫀燅R歇爾·A.格蘭杰寫給我的信中所說的話。“我們的生意大多是季度性的。所以當(dāng)報稅季度過后,我們就要讓很多員工離職。

“我們行業(yè)有句俗話:沒人喜歡掄斧頭。因此習(xí)慣性做法便是讓這個過程越短越好。通常人們會這樣說:‘請坐,史密斯先生。這個季度結(jié)束了,我們沒什么工作能讓你做了。當(dāng)然你也知道我們只是為了忙季而雇傭你的,等等。’

“這些人會感覺失望、被辜負(fù)。這些人中的大多數(shù)一生都在做會計,而對任何一家輕易放棄他們的事務(wù)所都不會有特殊的感情。

“最近我決定用更有技巧、更加體諒的方式解雇這些季度員工。我給每個人打電話前都仔細(xì)回想了他在冬天里的工作。我說了以下類似的話:‘史密斯先生,你的表現(xiàn)很突出(如果是實情的話)。我們讓你去紐瓦克出差的那次任務(wù)很艱巨,你的壓力很大,但你完成得格外出色。我希望你知道,公司以你為榮,你具備好的素質(zhì),不論到哪工作都會前途無量。我們公司相信你的實力并會一直為你加油,我們希望你不要忘了這點?!?/p>

“結(jié)果呢?那些人離職時感覺好多了。他們沒有被辜負(fù)的感覺。他們知道如果我們有足夠工作來分配就會留住他們。而當(dāng)我們?nèi)蘸笮枰麄儠r,他們會帶著親切感回來。”

在培訓(xùn)班的一堂課中,兩個學(xué)生討論了指責(zé)帶來的負(fù)面影響和挽回他人面子所帶來的正面影響。

賓夕法尼亞州哈里斯堡的弗萊德·克拉克說起了他公司的一件事:“在我們的一次生產(chǎn)會議上,一位副總就生產(chǎn)環(huán)節(jié)的問題向生產(chǎn)主管提出了尖銳的問題。他的語氣充滿攻擊性,意圖便是指出主管所犯的錯誤。這位主管不想在眾人面前丟臉,所以回答得很含糊其辭。這使副總大發(fā)雷霆,責(zé)罵了主管還指責(zé)他說謊。

“任何因工作往來而形成的微弱關(guān)系都在瞬間被摧毀了。這位總體表現(xiàn)不錯的主管從此以后再也沒有做出過什么業(yè)績。幾個月后他辭職投奔了我們的競爭對手,而我知道他在那里表現(xiàn)得非常出色?!?/p>

另一個學(xué)生安娜·馬佐尼想起在自己的工作崗位上也發(fā)生過類似的事,然而不同的處理方式帶來了不同的結(jié)局!馬佐尼小姐是食品包裝公司的市場專員。那時,公司第一次讓她完成重要的任務(wù)——新產(chǎn)品的市場測試。她告訴大家:“我拿到測試結(jié)果后快要崩潰了。我的計劃出了嚴(yán)重錯誤,整個測試都要重做一遍。更糟糕的是,我在需要開會回報結(jié)果之前沒有機(jī)會向老板做出解釋。

“當(dāng)他們讓我做報告時,我嚇得直發(fā)抖。我做了一切防止自己臨場崩潰的事,下決心一定不能哭。不能讓那些男人認(rèn)為女人太情緒化所以無法完成某些工作。我簡單地做了匯報并解釋了測試中的錯誤,跟大家說我會在下次會議之前重新測試。我坐下,等待著老板大發(fā)雷霆。

“出乎意料的是,他感謝了我的工作并說在接手新項目時出錯是很常見的事,還說他相信我下一次測試會得到準(zhǔn)確、有意義的信息。他在全體員工面前向我保證,他對我有信心,他知道我盡力了,而且導(dǎo)致任務(wù)失敗的不是能力的缺乏而是經(jīng)驗的缺乏。

“散會時,我昂首挺胸走了出去,下定決心再也不會讓老板失望。”

即便我們是正確的、對方是絕對錯誤的,令對方丟臉只會摧毀對方的自尊心。法國傳奇的飛行先鋒和作家圣-??诵跖謇飳懙溃骸拔覠o權(quán)去說或去做任何剝奪他人自尊的事。我怎么看他不重要,他怎么看自己才是最重要的。傷害他人的尊嚴(yán)是犯罪?!?/p>

一個真正的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者會:

讓他人保住面子。

HOW TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE AND YOUR JOB

Dale Carnegie

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