For Ruth Fainlight
給露絲·費(fèi)恩萊特
I know the bottom, she says. I know it with my great tap root:
我清楚這根部,她說(shuō)。憑我的主根我了解它:
It is what you fear.
這是你所害怕的。
I do not fear it:I have been there.
我不怕它:我一直在那里。
Is it the sea you hear in me,
你在我內(nèi)心聽(tīng)到大海,
Its dissatisfactions?
它的種種不滿?
Or the voice of nothing, that was you madness?
或者什么聲響都沒(méi)有,只是你的瘋狂?
Love is a shadow.
愛(ài)是一個(gè)影子。
How you lie and cry after it
愛(ài)過(guò)之后,你就這樣躺下、哭泣
Listen:these are its hooves:it has gone off, like a horse.
傾聽(tīng):它的馬蹄:它走遠(yuǎn)了,如一匹馬。
All night I shall gallop thus, impetuously,
整夜我將飛奔,風(fēng)馳電掣,
Till your head is a stone, your pillow a little turf,
直至你的頭變成石頭,你的枕變成賽馬場(chǎng),
Echoing, echoing.
馬蹄聲回響著,回響著。
Or shall I bring you the sound of poisons?
或許我給你帶來(lái)有毒之聲?
This is rain now, the big hush.
現(xiàn)在是雨天,多安靜。
And this is the fruit of it: tin-white, like arsenic.
這是它的果實(shí):白如錫,毒如砒。
I have suffered the atrocity of sunsets.
我已承受落日的殘暴。
Scorched to the root
烤焦至根部
My red filaments burn and stand, a hand of wires.
我的紅色花絲灼傷,承受痛苦,一串金屬絲。
Now I break up in pieces that fly about like clubs.
我現(xiàn)在分裂成碎片,像草花飛舞。
A wind of such violence
一股狂暴之風(fēng)
Will tolerate no by standing:I must shriek.
絕不袖手旁觀:我必須尖叫。
The moon, also, is merciless:she would drag me
月亮,也是,冷酷無(wú)情:她殘忍地
Cruelly, being barren.
拖著我,變得枯萎。
Her radiance scathes me. Or perhaps I have caught her.
她的光亮傷害我?;蛟S我已抓住了她。
I let her go. I let her go
我讓她走,讓她變得
Diminished and flat, as after radical surgery.
弱小、扁平,一如大手術(shù)之后。
How your bad dreams possess and endow me.
你的種種噩夢(mèng)占有我,纏住我。
I am inhabited by a cry.
我被一種叫喊聲所占據(jù)。
Nightly it flaps out
每個(gè)夜晚,它飄出
Looking, with its hooks, for something to love.
尋找它相愛(ài)之物,帶著許多鉤子。
I am terrified by this dark thing
這個(gè)黑色的東西讓我恐懼
That sleeps in me;
它沉睡在我體內(nèi);
All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.
整天我感到它在旋轉(zhuǎn),柔軟似羽毛,滿懷惡意。
Clouds pass and disperse.
云團(tuán)飄來(lái)又散落。
Are those the faces of love, those pale irretrievables?
那些愛(ài)之面容,蒼白卻不可逆轉(zhuǎn)的神色?
Is it for such I agitate my heart?
就為這,我的心,焦慮不安?
I am incapable of more knowledge.
我不可能了解更多。
What is this, this face
這是什么,這張臉
So murderous in its strangle of branches?——
如此兇殘,隱藏在纏繞的樹(shù)枝中?——
Its snaky acids hiss.
它的酸味在嘶嘶作響。
It petrifies the will. These are the isolate, slow faults
它使意志僵化。這些孤立、緩慢的錯(cuò)誤
That kill, that kill, that kill.
會(huì)殘殺,會(huì)殘殺,會(huì)殘殺。
(1962/04/19. pp.192—193. No. 163)
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