Joel could not get to the dinner. Self-conscious in his silk hat against the unemployment, he waited for the others in front of the Hollywood Theatre and watched the evening parade: obscure replicas of bright, particular picture stars, spavined men in polo coats, a stomping dervish with the beard and staff of an apostle, a pair of chic Filipinos in collegiate clothes, reminder that this corner of the Republic opened to the seven seas, a long fantastic carnival of young shouts which proved to be a fraternity initiation. The line split to pass two smart limousines that stopped at the curb.
There she was, in a dress like ice-water, made in a thousand pale-blue pieces, with icicles trickling at the throat. He started forward.
“So you like my dress?”
“Where's Miles?”
“He flew to the game after all. He left yesterday morning—at least I think—”She broke off. “I just got a telegram from South Bend saying that he's starting back. I forgot—you know all these people?”
The party of eight moved into the theater.
Miles had gone after all and Joel wondered if he should have come. But during the performance, with Stella a profile under the pure grain of light hair, he thought no more about Miles. Once he turned and looked at her and she looked back at him, smiling and meeting his eyes for as long as he wanted. Between the acts they smoked in the lobby and she whispered:
“They're all going to the opening of Jack Johnson's night club—I don't want to go, do you?”
“Do we have to?”
“I suppose not.” She hesitated. “I'd like to talk to you. I suppose we could go to our house—if I were only sure—”
Again she hesitated and Joel asked:
“Sure of what?”
“Sure that—oh, I'm haywire I know, but how can I be sure Miles went to the game?”
“You mean you think he's with Eva Goebel?”
“No, not so much that—but supposing he was here watching everything I do. You know Miles does odd things sometimes. Once he wanted a man with a long beard to drink tea with him and he sent down to the casting agency for one, and drank tea with him all afternoon.”
“That's different. He sent you a wire from South Bend—that proves he's at the game.”
After the play they said good night to the others at the curb and were answered by looks of amusement. They slid off along the golden garish thoroughfare through the crowd that had gathered around Stella.
“You see he could arrange the telegrams,” Stella said, “very easily.”
That was true. And with the idea that perhaps her uneasiness was justified, Joel grew angry: if Miles had trained a camera on them he felt no obligations toward Miles. Aloud he said:
“That's nonsense.”
There were Christmas trees already in the shop windows and the full moon over the boulevard was only a prop, as scenic as the giant boudoir lamps of the corners. On into the dark foliage of Beverly Hills that flamed as eucalyptus by day, Joel saw only the flash of a white face under his own, the arc of her shoulder. She pulled away suddenly and looked up at him.
“Your eyes are like your mother's,” she said. “I used to have a scrap book full of pictures of her.”
“Your eyes are like your own and not a bit like any other eyes,” he answered.
Something made Joel look out into the grounds as they went into the house, as if Miles were lurking in the shrubbery. A telegram waited on the hall table. She read aloud:
“Chicago.
Home tomorrow night.Thinking of you.Love.
Miles.”
“You see,” she said, throwing the slip back on the table, “he could easily have faked that.” She asked the butler for drinks and sandwiches and ran upstairs, while Joel walked into the empty reception rooms. Strolling about he wandered to the piano where he had stood in disgrace two Sundays before.
“Then we could put over,” he said aloud, “a story of divorce, the younger generators and the Foreign Legion.”
His thoughts jumped to another telegram.
“You were one of the most agreeable people at our party—”
An idea occurred to him. If Stella's telegram had been purely a gesture of courtesy then it was likely that Miles had inspired it, for it was Miles who had invited him. Probably Miles had said:
“Send him a wire—he's miserable—he thinks he's queered himself.”
It fitted in with“I've influenced Stella in everything. Especially I've influenced her so that she likes all the men I like.” A woman would do a thing like that because she felt sympathetic—only a man would do it because he felt responsible.
When Stella came back into the room he took both her hands.
“I have a strange feeling that I'm a sort of pawn in a spite game you're playing against Miles,” he said.
“Help yourself to a drink.”
“And the odd thing is that I'm in love with you anyhow.”
The telephone rang and she freed herself to answer it.
“Another wire from Miles,” she announced. “He dropped it, or it says he dropped it, from the airplane at Kansas City.”
“I suppose he asked to be remembered to me.”
“No, he just said he loved me. I believe he does. He's so very weak.”
“Come sit beside me,” Joel urged her.
It was early. And it was still a few minutes short of midnight a half-hour later, when Joel walked to the cold hearth, and said tersely:
“Meaning that you haven't any curiosity about me?”
“Not at all. You attract me a lot and you know it. The point is that I suppose I really do love Miles.”
“Obviously.”
“And tonight I feel uneasy about everything.”
He wasn't angry—he was even faintly relieved that a possible entanglement was avoided. Still as he looked at her, the warmth and softness of her body thawing her cold blue costume, he knew she was one of the things he would always regret.
“I've got to go,” he said. “I'll phone a taxi.”
“Nonsense—there's a chauffeur on duty.”
He winced at her readiness to have him go, and seeing this she kissed him lightly and said, “You're sweet, Joel.” Then suddenly three things happened: he took down his drink at a gulp, the phone rang loud through the house and a clock in the hall struck in trumpet notes.
Nine—ten—eleven—twelve—
喬爾沒能出席晚宴。他戴著絲質(zhì)禮帽看著那些失業(yè)的人,覺得很不自在。他在好萊塢大劇院前面一邊等人,一邊觀察晚上大街上的行人:拙劣地模仿那些光鮮靚麗、特別能吸人眼球的電影明星的人們,穿著馬球服的跛腳男人,留著胡子、拿著權(quán)杖、步履有力的托缽僧人,兩個大學生打扮的時髦的菲律賓人。此情此景讓人覺得共和國的這個角落是對全世界開放的,這里似乎在舉行一場聲勢宏大、隊伍浩蕩的嘉年華,而實際上是在舉行一個校友會的宣誓儀式。兩輛氣派的豪華轎車從隊伍中穿過,停在了人行道邊。
是她!她穿著一條冰水似的裙子,上面有千千萬萬個淺藍色的圖案,領(lǐng)口處是滴著水滴的冰柱圖案。他走上前去。
“這么說,你喜歡我的裙子啰?”
“邁爾斯呢?”
“他還是飛去看比賽了。昨天一早就走了——至少我認為——”她不說了,“我剛收到一封從南本德發(fā)來的電報,說他準備回來。我忘了——這些人你都認識吧?”
一行八個人走進了大劇院。
邁爾斯還是走了,喬爾不知道他自己該不該來。然而在表演的過程中,看著斯特拉亮閃閃的淺色頭發(fā)下面優(yōu)美的身體輪廓,他再也不去想邁爾斯了。有一次,他轉(zhuǎn)身看著她,她也回頭看著他,微笑著,與他的目光相接,讓他想看多久就看多久。在表演的間隙,他們到休息室去抽煙,她小聲說:
“他們都要去參加杰克·約翰遜的夜總會開幕式——我不想去,你呢?”
“我們必須去嗎?”
“我想并非如此?!彼t疑地說,“我喜歡和你聊天。我想我們可以去我家——如果我能確定——”
她又遲疑了,喬爾問:
“確定什么?”
“確定——呃,我知道我的腦子很亂,可是我怎么能確定邁爾斯去看比賽了呢?”
“你的意思是說,你以為邁爾斯和伊娃·戈貝爾在一起嗎?”
“不,不全是這個意思——不過,要是他在這里監(jiān)視我的一舉一動呢?你知道邁爾斯有時候不按常理出牌。有一次,他想讓一個長胡子的人陪他喝茶,他就去選角公司找了一個,然后和他喝了整整一個下午的茶?!?/p>
“這是兩碼事。他從南本德給你發(fā)來了電報——這證明他在那里看比賽嘛。”
表演派對結(jié)束后,他們在人行道上向大伙告別,人們紛紛投來意味深長的目光。他們悄悄地從圍繞著斯特拉的人群中抽出身,并沿著那條金色的星光大道走去。
“你知道他會派人去發(fā)電報的,”斯特拉說,“這非常容易?!?/p>
這話不假。鑒于這一點,她的擔心也不無道理。喬爾很生氣:如果邁爾斯已經(jīng)把目標對準他們,那么他也沒有必要對邁爾斯盡什么義務了。他大聲說:
“真蠢?!?/p>
商店的櫥窗里已經(jīng)裝飾了圣誕樹,林蔭大道上空的滿月像一個布景,美得像閨房角落里亮起的一盞巨大的燈籠。步入比弗利山莊幽暗的大樹下,里面像白天的桉樹一樣光影閃爍,喬爾就只能看到在他自己的臉龐下面,閃現(xiàn)著她那雪白的臉以及她的肩膀的弧線。她突然從他身邊走開,抬頭看著他。
“你的眼睛和你母親的很像,”她說,“我以前有一本剪貼本,里面貼滿了她的照片?!?/p>
“你的眼睛獨一無二,誰的也不像?!彼鸬?。
他們進屋的時候,有什么東西引起了喬爾的警覺,他小心翼翼地在地上查看了一遍,仿佛邁爾斯正潛伏在灌木林里似的。大廳的桌子上躺著一封電報。她大聲念起來:
芝加哥
明晚回來。想你。愛你。
邁爾斯
“你看,”她將電報扔到桌子上說,“他不費吹灰之力就能偽造一封電報?!彼愿拦芗覝蕚渚坪腿髦?,然后跑到樓上。喬爾則走進空蕩蕩的客廳,在里面踱著步子,不經(jīng)意間走到那架鋼琴旁。兩個禮拜以前,他也曾站在這里,丟盡了顏面。
“那么我們的滑稽劇就可以大功告成了,”他大聲說,“一個關(guān)于離婚、年輕的開創(chuàng)者和外籍軍團的故事?!?/p>
他忽然想到了另一封電報。
“您是我們派對上最令人愉快的人之一——”
他有了一個想法。如果斯特拉的電報純粹只是出于禮節(jié)的話,那么邁爾斯很可能是促使她發(fā)電報的人,因為邁爾斯曾經(jīng)邀請過他。邁爾斯大概會說:
“給他發(fā)一封電報吧——他很苦惱——他覺得自己自毀前程了?!?/p>
這也正好印證了邁爾斯的話:“我在各個方面都對斯特拉施加了影響,特別是,她受到我的影響,凡是我喜歡的男人,她也都喜歡?!币粋€女人愿意這么做,是出于同情心——而只有男人這么做才是出于責任心。
當斯特拉回到房間里時,他牽起她的兩只手。
“我有一種奇怪的感覺,你在和邁爾斯玩游戲,你想讓他吃醋,而我則是受人利用的那只火中取栗的貓爪子?!彼f。
“你自己隨便喝一杯吧?!?/p>
“可是,奇怪的是,我竟然愛上你了?!?/p>
電話鈴響了,她正好趁機抽出身來去接電話。
“邁爾斯又發(fā)來一封電報,”她大聲說,“他從堪薩斯機場發(fā)來的,或者說據(jù)說是他從那里發(fā)來的?!?/p>
“我想他是想要我記住他?!?/p>
“不,他只說他愛我。我相信他愛我。他非常脆弱。”
“快坐到我身邊來。”喬爾催促她說。
時間尚早。半個小時后,還有幾分鐘就到午夜了。喬爾走到冰冷的壁爐邊,簡單地說:
“你的意思是你對我不感興趣?”
“根本不是。你很有魅力,你知道的。問題是,我覺得我真的很愛邁爾斯?!?/p>
“顯而易見。”
“今天晚上,一切都讓我感到不安。”
他沒有生氣——他甚至感到慶幸,一樁可能發(fā)生的感情糾葛得以避免了。他依然看著她,她身體的溫度和柔和的線條中和了她那條藍色裙子給人造成的冰冷感,他知道她將永遠成為他的缺憾。
“我得走了,”他說,“我要叫輛出租車。”
“說什么呢——有值班司機。”
他對她隨時準備讓他離開而感到一陣寒心,她看出了他的心思,輕輕地吻了他一下,說:“你真是個甜心,喬爾?!苯又?,同時發(fā)生了三件事:
他將那杯酒一口喝下去,電話鈴響徹了整棟房子,大廳里的鐘表敲得像大喇叭一樣響:
九——十——十一——十二——