The Dutch clock in the corner struck Ten when the Carrier sat down by his freside. So troubled and grief-worn that he seemed to scare the Cuckoo, who, having cut his ten melodious announcements as short as possible, plunged back into the Moorish Palace again, and clapped his little door behind him, as if the unwonted spectacle were too much for his feelings.
If the little Hay-maker had been armed with the sharpest of scythes, and had cut at every stroke into the Carrier's heart, he never could have gashed and wounded it as Dot had done.
It was a heart so full of love for her;so bound up and held together by innumerable threads of winning remembrance, spun from the daily working of her many qualities of endearment;it was a heart in which she had enshrined herself so gently and so closely;a heart so single and so earnest in its Truth, so strong in right, so weak in wrong,—that it could cherish neither passion nor revenge at frst, and had only room to hold the broken image of its Idol.
But, slowly, slowly, as the Carrier sat brooding on his hearth, now cold and dark, other and fiercer thoughts began to rise within him, as an angry wind comes rising in the night. The Stranger was beneath his outraged roof.Three steps would take him to his chamber door.One blow would beat it in.“You might do murder before you know it,”Tackleton had said.How could it be murder, if he gave the villain time to grapple with him hand to hand?He was the younger man.
It was an ill-timed thought, bad for the dark mood of his mind. It was an angry thought, goading him to some avenging act, that should change the cheerful house into a haunted place which lonely travellers would dread to pass by night;and where the timid would see shadows struggling in the ruined windows when the moon was dim, and hear wild noises in the stormy weather.
He was the younger man!Yes, yes;some lover who had won the heart that he had never touched. Some lover of her early choice, of whom she had thought and dreamed, for whom she had pined and pined, when he had fancied her so happy by his side.Oh, agony to think of it!
She had been above-stairs with the Baby;getting it to bed. As he sat brooding on the hearth, she came close beside him, without his knowledge—in the turning of the rack of his great misery, he lost all other sounds—and put her little stool at his feet.He only knew it when he felt her hand upon his own, and saw her looking up into his face.
With wonder?No. It was his frst impression, and he was fain ;to look at her again, to set it right.No, not with wonder.With an eager and inquiring look;but not with wonder.At frst it was alarmed and serious;then, it changed into a strange, wild, dreadful smile of recognition of his thoughts;then, there was nothing but her clasped hands on her brow, and her bent head, and falling hair.
Though the power of Omnipotence had been his to wield at that moment, he had too much of its diviner property of Mercy in his breast, to have turned one feather's weight of it against her. But he could not bear to see her crouching down upon the little seat where he had often looked on her, with love and pride, so innocent and gay;and, when she rose and left him, sobbing as she went, he felt it a relief to have the vacant place beside him rather than her so long-cherished presence.This in itself was anguish keener than all, reminding him how desolate he was become, and how the great bond of his life was rent asunder.
The more he felt this, and the more he knew he could have better borne to see her lying prematurely dead before him with her little child upon her breast, the higher and the stronger rose his wrath against his enemy. He looked about him for a weapon.
There was a gun hanging on the wall. He took it down, and moved a pace or two towards the door of the perfdious Stranger's room.He knew the gun was loaded.Some shadowy idea that it was just to shoot this man like a wild beast seized him, and dilated in his mind until it grew into a monstrous demon in complete possession of him, casting out all milder thoughts, and setting up its undividedempire.
That phrase is wrong. Not casting out his milder thoughts, but artfully transforming them.Changing them into scourges to drive him on.Turning water into blood, love into hate, gentleness into blind ferocity.Her image, sorrowing, humbled, but still pleading to his tenderness and mercy with resistless power, never left his mind;but, staying there, it urged him to the door;raised the weapon to his shoulder;ftted and nerved his fngers to the trigger;and cried“Kill him!In his bed!”
He reversed the gun to beat the stock upon the door;he already held it lifted in the air;some indistinct design was in his thoughts of calling out to him to fy, for God's sake, by the window—
When suddenly, the struggling fire illuminated the whole chimney with a glow of light;and the Cricket on the Hearth began to Chirp!
No sound he could have heard, no human voice, not even hers, could so have moved and softened him. The artless words in which she had told him of her love for this same Cricket were once more freshly spoken;her trembling, earnest manner at the moment was again before him;her pleasant voice—oh, what a voice it was for making household music at the freside of an honest man!—thrilled through and through his better nature, and awoke it into life and action.
He recoiled from the door, like a man walking in his sleep, awakened from a frightful dream;and put the gun aside. Clasping ;his hands before his face, he then sat down again beside the fre, and found relief in tears.
The Cricket on the Hearth came out into the room, and stood in Fairy shape before him.
“‘I love it,'”said the Fairy Voice, repeating what he well remembered,“‘for the many times I have heard it, and the many thoughts its harmless music has given me.'”
“She said so!”cried the Carrier.“True!”
“‘This has been a happy home, John!and I love the Cricket for its sake!'”
“It has been, Heaven knows,”returned the Carrier.“She made it happy, always,—until now.”
“So gracefully sweet-tempered;so domestic, joyful, busy, and light-hearted!”said the Voice.
“Otherwise I never could have loved her as I did,”returned the Carrier.
The Voice, correcting him, said“do.”
The Carrier repeated“as I did.”But not firmly. His faltering tongue resisted his control, and would speak in its own way for itself and him.
The Figure, in an attitude of invocation, raised its hand and said:
“Upon your own hearth——”
“The hearth she has blighted,”interposed the Carrier.
“The hearth she has—how often!—blessed and brightened,”said the Cricket;“the hearth which, but for her, were only a fewstones and bricks and rusty bars, but which has been, through her, the Altar of your Home;on which you have nightly sacrifced some petty passion, selfshness, or care, and offered up the homage of a tranquil mind, a trusting nature, and an overfowing heart;so that the smoke from this poor chimney has gone upward with a better fragrance than the richest incense that is burnt before the richest shrines in all the gaudy temples of this world!—Upon your own hearth;in its quiet sanctuary;surrounded by its gentle infuences and associations;hear her!Hear me!Hear everything that speaks the language of your hearth and home!”
“And pleads for her?”inquired the Carrier.
“All things that speak the language of your hearth and home must plead for her!”returned the Cricket.“For they speak the truth.”
And while the Carrier, with his head upon his hands, continued to sit meditating in his chair, the Presence stood beside him, suggesting his refections by its power, and presenting them before him, as in a glass or picture. It was not a solitary Presence.From the hearth-stone, from the chimney, from the clock, the pipe, the kettle, and the cradle;from the floor, the walls, the ceiling, and the stairs;from the cart without, and the cupboard within, and the household implements;from everything and every place with which she had ever been familiar, and with which she had ever entwined one recollection of herself in her unhappy husband's mind,—Fairies came trooping forth.Not to stand beside him as the Cricket did, but to busy and bestir themselves.To do all honour to her image.To ;pull him by the skirts, and point to it when it appeared.To cluster round it, and embrace it, and strew fowers for it to tread on.To try to crown its fair head with their tiny hands.To show that they were fond of it, and loved it;and that there was not one ugly, wicked, or accusatory creature to claim knowledge of it—none but their playful and approving selves.
His thoughts were constant to her image. It was always there.
She sat plying her needle, before the fire, and singing to herself. Such a blithe, thriving, steady little Dot!The Fairy fgures turned upon him all at once, by one consent, with one prodigious concentrated stare, and seemed to say,“Is this the light wife you are mourning for?”
There were sounds of gaiety outside, musical instruments, and noisy tongues, and laughter. A crowd of young merry-makers came pouring in, among whom were May Fielding and a score of pretty girls.Dot was the fairest of them all;as young as any of them too.They came to summon her to join their party.It was a dance.If ever little foot were made for dancing, hers was, surely.But she laughed, and shook her head, and pointed to her cookery on the fre, and her table ready spread;with an exulting defance that rendered her more charming than she was before.And so she merrily dismissed them, nodding to her would-be partners, one by one, as they passed out, with a comical indifference, enough to make them go and drown themselves immediately if they were her admirers—and they must have been so, more or less;they couldn't help it.And yet indifferencewas not her character.Oh no!For presently there came a certain Carrier to the door;and, bless her, what a welcome she bestowed upon him!
Again the staring figures turned upon him all at once, and seemed to say,“Is this the wife who has forsaken you?”
A shadow fell upon the mirror or the picture:call it what you will. A great shadow of the Stranger, as he first stood underneath their roof;covering its surface, and blotting out all other objects.But, the nimble Fairies worked like bees to clear it off again.And Dot again was there.Still bright and beautiful.
Rocking her little Baby in its cradle, singing to it softly, and resting her head upon a shoulder which had its counterpart in the musing fgure by which the Fairy Cricket stood.
The night—I mean the real night:not going by Fairy clocks—was wearing now;and, in this stage of the Carrier's thoughts, the moon burst out, and shone brightly in the sky. Perhaps some calm and quiet light had risen also in his mind;and he could think more soberly of what had happened.
Although the shadow of the Stranger fell at intervals upon the glass—always distinct, and big, and thoroughly defined—it never fell so darkly as at frst. Whenever it appeared, the Fairies uttered a general cry of consternation, and plied their little arms and legs with inconceivable activity to rub it out.And whenever they got at Dot again, and showed her to him once more, bright and beautiful, they cheered in the most inspiring manner.
They never showed her otherwise than beautiful and bright, for they were Household Spirits to whom falsehood is an annihilation;and being so, what Dot was there for them, but the one active, beaming, pleasant little creature who had been the light and sun of the Carrier's Home?
The Fairies were prodigiously excited when they showed her, with the Baby, gossipping among a knot of sage old matrons, and affecting to be wondrous old and matronly herself, and leaning in a staid demure old way upon her husband's arm, attempting—she!such a bud of a little woman—to convey the idea of having abjured the vanities of the world in general, and of being the sort of person to whom it was no novelty at all to be a mother;yet, in the same breath, they showed her laughing at the Carrier for being awkward, and pulling up his shirt collar to make him smart, and mincing merrily about that very room to teach him how to dance!
They turned, and stared immensely at him when they showed her with the Blind Girl;for, though she carried cheerfulness and animation with her wheresoever she went, she bore those infuences into Caleb Plummer's home, heaped up and running over. The Blind Girl's love for her, and trust in her, and gratitude to her;her own good busy way of setting Bertha's thanks aside;her dexterous little arts for flling up each moment of the visit in doing something useful to the house, and really working hard while feigning to make holiday;her bountiful provision of those standing delicacies, the Veal and Ham Pie and the bottles of Beer;her radiant little face arrivingat the door, and taking leave;the wonderful expression in her whole self, from her neat foot to the crown of her head, of being a part of the establishment—a something necessary to it, which it couldn't be without,—all this the Fairies revelled in, and loved her for.And once again they looked upon him all at once, appealingly, and seemed to say, while some among them nestled in her dress and fondled her,“Is this the wife who has betrayed your confdence?”
More than once, or twice, or thrice, in the long thoughtful night, they showed her to him sitting on her favourite seat, with her bent head, her hands clasped on her brow, her falling hair. As he had seen her last.And when they found her thus, they neither turned nor looked upon him, but gathered close round her, and comforted and kissed her, and pressed on one another, to show sympathy and kindness to her, and forgot him altogether.
Thus the night passed. The moon went down;the stars grew pale;the cold day broke;the sun rose.The Carrier still sat, musing, in the chimney-corner.He had sat there, with his head upon his hands, all night.All night the faithful Cricket had been Chirp, Chirp, Chirping on the Hearth.All night he had listened to its voice.All night the Household Fairies had been busy with him.All night she had been amiable and blameless in the glass, except when that one shadow fell upon it.
He rose up when it was broad day, and washed and dressed himself. He couldn't go about his customary cheerful avocations—he wanted spirit for them—but it mattered the less that it was ;Tackleton's wedding-day, and he had arranged to make his rounds by proxy.He had thought to have gone merrily to church with Dot.But such plans were at an end.It was their own wedding-day too.Ah!how little he had looked for such a close to such a year!
The Carrier expected that Tackleton would pay him an early visit;and he was right. He had not walked to and fro before his own door many minutes, when he saw the toy merchant coming in his chaise along the road.As the chaise drew nearer, he perceived that Tackleton was dressed out sprucely for his marriage, and that he had decorated his horse's head with fowers and favours.
The horse looked much more like a bridegroom than Tackleton, whose half-closed eye was more disagreeably expressive than ever. But the Carrier took little heed of this.His thoughts had other occupation.
“John Peerybingle!”said Tackleton with an air of condolence.“My good fellow, how do you fnd yourself this morning?”
“I have had but a poor night, Master Tackleton,”returned the Carrier, shaking his head:“for I have been a good deal disturbed in my mind. But it's over now!Can you spare me half an hour or so, for some private talk?”
“I came on purpose,”returned Tackleton, alighting.“Never mind the horse. He'll stand quiet enough, with the reins over this post, if you'll give him a mouthful of hay.”
The Carrier having brought it from his stable and set it before him, they turned into the house.
“You are not married before noon,”he said,“I think?”
“No,”answered Tackleton.“Plenty of time. Plenty of time.”
When they entered the kitchen, Tilly Slowboy was rapping at the Stranger's door;which was only removed from it by a few steps. One of her very red eyes(for Tilly had been crying all night long, because her mistress cried)was at the keyhole;and she was knocking very loud, and seemed frightened.
“If you please I can't make nobody hear,”said Tilly, looking round.“I hope nobody an't gone and been and died if you please!”
This philanthropic wish Miss Slowboy emphasized with various new raps and kicks at the door, which led to no result whatever.
“Shall I go?”said Tackleton.“It's curious.”
The Carrier, who had turned his face from the door, signed him to go if he would.
So Tackleton went to Tilly Slowboy's relief;and he too kicked and knocked;and he too failed to get the least reply. But he thought of trying the handle of the door;and, as it opened easily, he peeped in, looked in, went in, and soon came running out again.
“John Peerybingle,”said Tackleton in his ear,“I hope there has been nothing—nothing rash in the night?”
The Carrier turned upon him quickly.
“Because he's gone!”said Tackleton;“and the window's open. I don't see any marks—to be sure, it's almost on a level with the garden:but I was afraid there might have been some—some scuffe.Eh?”
He nearly shut up the expressive eye altogether;he looked at him so hard. And he gave his eye, and his face, and his whole person, a sharp twist.As if he would have screwed the truth out of him.
“Make yourself easy,”said the Carrier.“He went into that room last night, without harm in word or deed from me, and no one has entered it since. He is away of his own free-will.I'd go out gladly at that door, and beg my bread from house to house, for life, if I could so change the past that he had never come.But he has come and gone.And I have done with him!”
“Oh!—Well, I think he has got off pretty easy,”said Tackleton, taking a chair.
The sneer was lost upon the Carrier, who sat down too, and shaded his face with his hand, for some little time, before proceeding.
“You showed me last night,”he said at length,“my wife—my wife that I love—secretly—”
“And tenderly,”insinuated Tackleton.
“—Conniving at that man's disguise, and giving him opportunities of meeting her alone. I think there's no sight I wouldn't have rather seen than that.I think there's no man in the world I wouldn't have rather had to show it me.”
“I confess to having had my suspicions always,”said Tackleton.“And that has made me objectionable here, I know.”
“But, as you did show it me,”pursued the Carrier, not minding him;“and as you saw her, my wife, my wife that I love—”his voice, and eye, and hand grew steadier and firmer as he repeated thesewords:evidently in pursuance of a steadfast purpose—“as you saw her at this disadvantage, it is right and just that you should also see with my eyes, and look into my breast, and know what my mind is upon the subject. For it's settled,”said the Carrier, regarding him attentively.“And nothing can shake it now.”
Tackleton muttered a few general words of assent about its being necessary to vindicate something or other;but he was overawed by the manner of his companion. Plain and unpolished as it was, it had a something dignifed and noble in it, which nothing but the soul of generous honour dwelling in the man could have imparted.
“I am a plain, rough man,”pursued the Carrier“with very little to recommend me. I am not a clever man, as you very well know.I am not a young man.I loved my little Dot, because I had seen her grow up, from a child, in her father's house;because I knew how precious she was;because she had been my life for years and years.There's many men I can't compare with, who never could have loved my little Dot like me, I think!”
He paused, and softly beat the ground a short time with his foot, before resuming:
“I often thought that though I wasn't good enough for her, I should make her a kind husband, and perhaps know her value better than another;and in this way I reconciled it to myself, and came to think it might be possible that we should be married. And, in the end, it came about, and we were married!”
“Hah!”said Tackleton with a signifcant shake of his head.
“I had studied myself;I had had experience of myself;I knew how much I loved her, and how happy I should be,”pursued the Carrier.“But I had not—I feel it now—suffciently considered her.”
“To be sure,”said Tackleton.“Giddiness, frivolity, fickleness, love of admiration!Not considered!All left out of sight!Hah!”
“You had best not interrupt me,”said the Carrier with some sternness,“till you understand me;and you're wide of doing so. If, yesterday, I'd have struck that man down at a blow, who dared to breathe a word against her, today I'd set my foot upon his face, if he was my brother!”
The toy merchant gazed at him in astonishment. He went on in a softer tone:
“Did I consider,”said the Carrier,“that I took her—at her age, and with her beauty—from her young companions, and the many scenes of which she was the ornament;in which she was the brightest little star that ever shone, to shut her up from day to day in my dull house, and keep my tedious company?Did I consider how little suited I was to her sprightly humour, and how wearisome a plodding man like me must be to one of her quick spirit?Did I consider that it was no merit in me, or claim in me, that I loved her, when everybody must who knew her?Never. I took advantage of her hopeful nature and her cheerful disposition;and I married her.I wish I never had!For her sake;not for mine!”
The toy merchant gazed at him without winking. Even the half-shut eye was open now.
“Heaven bless her!”said the Carrier,“for the cheerful constancy with which she has tried to keep the knowledge of this from me!And Heaven help me, that, in my slow mind, I have not found it out before!Poor child!Poor Dot!I not to fnd it out, who have seen her eyes fll with tears when such a marriage as our own was spoken of!I, who have seen the secret trembling on her lips a hundred times, and never suspected it, till last night!Poor girl!That I could ever hope she would be fond of me!That I could ever believe she was!”
“She made a show of it,”said Tackleton.“She made such a show of it, that, to tell you the truth, it was the origin of my misgivings.”
And here he asserted the superiority of May Fielding, who certainly made no sort of show of being fond of him.
“She has tried,”said the poor Carrier with greater emotion than he had exhibited yet;“I only now begin to know how hard she has tried, to be my dutiful and zealous wife. How good she has been;how much she has done;how brave and strong a heart she has;let the happiness I have known under this roof bear witness!It will be some help and comfort to me when I am here alone.”
“Here alone?”said Tackleton.“Oh!Then you do mean to take some notice of this?”
“I mean,”returned the Carrier,“to do her the greatest kindness, and make her the best reparation, in my power. I can release her from the daily pain of an unequal marriage, and the struggle to conceal it.She shall be as free as I can render her.”
“Make her reparation!”exclaimed Tackleton, twisting and turning his great ears with his hands.“There must be something wrong here. You didn't say that, of course.”
The Carrier set his grip upon the collar of the toy merchant, and shook him like a reed.
“Listen to me!”he said.“And take care that you hear me right. Listen to me.Do I speak plainly?”
“Very plainly indeed,”answered Tackleton.
“As if I meant it?”
“Very much as if you meant it.”
“I sat upon that hearth, last night, all night,”exclaimed the Carrier.“On the spot where she has often sat beside me, with her sweet face looking into mine. I called up her whole life day by day.I had her dear self, in its every passage, in review before me.And, upon my soul, she is innocent, if there is One to judge the innocent and guilty!”
Staunch Cricket on the Hearth!Loyal Household Fairies!
“Passion and distrust have left me!”said the Carrier;“and nothing but my grief remains. In an unhappy moment some old lover, better suited to her tastes and years than I, forsaken, perhaps, for me, against her will, returned.In an unhappy moment, taken by surprise, and wanting time to think of what she did, she made herself a party to his treachery by concealing it.Last night she saw him, in the interview we witnessed.It was wrong.But, otherwise than this, she is innocent, if there is truth on earth!”
“If that is your opinion—”Tackleton began.
“So, let her go!”pursued the Carrier.“Go, with my blessing for the many happy hours she has given me, and my forgiveness for any pang she has caused me. Let her go, and have the peace of mind I wish her!She'll never hate me.She'll learn to like me better when I'm not a drag upon her, and she wears the chain I have riveted more lightly.This is the day on which I took her, with so little thought for her enjoyment, from her home.Today she shall return to it, and I will trouble her no more.Her father and mother will be here today—we had made a little plan for keeping it together—and they shall take her home.I can trust her there, or anywhere.She leaves me without blame, and she will live so I am sure.If I should die—I may perhaps while she is still young;I have lost some courage in a few hours—she'll fnd that I remembered her, and loved her to the last!This is the end of what you showed me.Now, it's over!”
“Oh no, John, not over!Do not say it's over yet!Not quite yet. I have heard your noble words.I could not steal away, pretending to be ignorant of what has affected me with such deep gratitude.Do not say it's over till the clock has struck again!”
She had entered shortly after Tackleton, and had remained there. She never looked at Tackleton, but fxed her eyes upon her husband.But she kept away from him, setting as wide a space as possible between them;and, though she spoke with most impassioned earnestness, she went no nearer to him even then.How different in this from her old self!
“No hand can make the clock which will strike again for me the hours that are gone,”replied the Carrier with a faint smile.“But let it be so, if you will, my dear. It will strike soon.It's of little matter what we say.I'd try to please you in a harder case than that.”
“Well!”muttered Tackleton.“I must be off, for, when the clock strikes again, it'll be necessary for me to be upon my way to church. Good morning, John Peerybingle.I'm sorry to be deprived of the pleasure of your company.Sorry for the loss, and the occasion of it too!”
“I have spoken plainly?”said the Carrier, accompanying him to the door.
“Oh, quite!”
“And you'll remember what I have said?”
“Why, if you compel me to make the observation,”said Tackleton, previously taking the precaution of getting into his chaise,“I must say that it was so very unexpected, that I'm far from being likely to forget it.”
“The better for us both,”returned the Carrier.“Good-bye. I give you joy!”
“I wish I could give it to you,”said Tackleton.“As I can't, thankee. Between ourselves(as I told you before, eh?)I don't much think I shall have the less joy in my married life because May hasn't been too offcious about me, and too demonstrative.Good-bye!Take care of yourself.”
The Carrier stood looking after him until he was smaller in thedistance than his horse's fowers and favours near at hand;and then, with a deep sigh, went strolling like a restless, broken man, among some neighbouring elms;unwilling to return until the clock was on the eve of striking.
His little wife, being left alone, sobbed piteously;but often dried her eyes and checked herself, to say how good he was, how excellent he was!and once or twice she laughed;so heartily, triumphantly, and incoherently(still crying all the time),that Tilly was quite horrifed.
“Ow, if you please, don't!”said Tilly.“It's enough to dead and bury the Baby, so it is if you please.”
“Will you bring him sometimes to see his father, Tilly,”inquired her mistress, drying her eyes,—“when I can't live here, and have gone to my old home?”
“Ow, if you please, don't!”cried Tilly, throwing back her head, and bursting out into a howl—she looked at the moment uncommonly like Boxer.“Ow, if you please, don't!Ow, what has everybody gone and been and done with everybody, making everybody else so wretched?Ow-w-w-w!”
The soft-hearted Slowboy tailed off at this juncture into such a deplorable howl, the more tremendous from its long suppression, that she must infallibly have awakened the Baby, and frightened him into something serious(probably convulsions),if her eyes had not encountered Caleb Plummer leading in his daughter. This spectacle restoring her to a sense of the proprieties, she stood for some few moments silent, with her mouth wide open;and then, posting off to ;the bed on which the Baby lay asleep, danced in a weird, St.Vitus manner on the foor, and at the same time rummaged with her face and head among the bedclothes, apparently deriving much relief from those extraordinary operations.
“Mary!”said Bertha.“Not at the marriage!”
“I told her you would not be there, mum,”whispered Caleb.“I heard as much last night. But bless you,”said the little man, taking her tenderly by both hands,“I don't care for what they say.I don't believe them.There an't much of me, but that little should be torn to pieces sooner than I'd trust a word against you!”
He put his arms about her neck and hugged her, as a child might have hugged one of his own dolls.
“Bertha couldn't stay at home this morning,”said Caleb.“She was afraid, I know, to hear the bells ring, and couldn't trust herself to be so near them on their wedding-day. So we started in good time, and came here.I have been thinking of what I have done,”said Caleb after a moment's pause;“I have been blaming myself till I hardly knew what to do, or where to turn, for the distress of mind I have caused her;and I've come to the conclusion that I'd better, if you’ll stay with me, mum, the while, tell her the truth.You’ll stay with me the while?”he inquired, trembling from head to foot.“I don’t know what effect it may have upon her;I don’t know what she’ll think of me;I don’t know that she’ll ever care for her poor father afterwards.But it’s best for her that she should be undeceived, and I must bear the consequences as I deserve!”
“Mary,”said Bertha,“where is your hand?Ah!Here it is;here it is!”pressing it to her lips with a smile, and drawing it through her arm.“I heard them speaking softly among themselves last night of some blame against you. They were wrong.”
The Carrier's wife was silent. Caleb answered for her.
“They were wrong,”he said.
“I knew it!”cried Bertha, proudly.“I told them so. I scorned to hear a word!Blame her with justice!”she pressed the hand between her own, and the soft cheek against her face.“No, I am not so blind as that.”
Her father went on one side of her, while Dot remained upon the other, holding her hand.
“I know you all,”said Bertha,“better than you think. But none so well as her.Not even you, father.There is nothing half so real and so true about me as she is.If I could be restored to sight this instant, and not a word were spoken, I could choose her from a crowd!My sister!”
“Bertha, my dear!”said Caleb.“I have something on my mind I want to tell you while we three are alone. Hear me kindly!I have a confession to make to you, my darling!”
“A confession, father?”
“I have wandered from the truth, and lost myself, my child,”said Caleb with a pitiable expression in his bewildered face.“I have wandered from the truth, intending to be kind to you;and have been cruel.”
She turned her wonder-stricken face towards him, and repeated“Cruel!”
“He accuses himself too strongly, Bertha,”said Dot.“You'll say so presently. You'll be the frst to tell him so.”
“He cruel to me!”cried Bertha with a smile of incredulity.
“Not meaning it, my child,”said Caleb.“But I have been:though I never suspected it till yesterday. My dear blind daughter, hear me and forgive me.The world you live in, heart of mine, doesn't exist as I have represented it.The eyes you have trusted in have been false to you.”
She turned her wonder-stricken face towards him still;but drew back, and clung closer to her friend.
“Your road in life was rough, my poor one,”said Caleb,“and I meant to smooth it for you. I have altered objects, changed the characters of people, invented many things that never have been, to make you happier.I have had concealments from you, put deceptions on you, God forgive me!and surrounded you with fancies.”
“But living people are not fancies?”she said hurriedly, and turning very pale, and still retiring from him.“You can't change them.”
“I have done so, Bertha,”pleaded Caleb.“There is one person that you know, my dove—”
“Oh, father!why do you say, I know?”she answered in a term of keen reproach.“What and whom do I know?I who have no leader!I so miserably blind!”
In the anguish of her heart, she stretched out her hands, as if she were groping her way;then spread them, in a manner most forlorn and sad, upon her face.
“The marriage that takes place today,”said Caleb,“is with a stern, sordid, grinding man. A hard master to you and me, my dear, for many years.Ugly in his looks, and in his nature.Cold and callous always.Unlike what I have painted him to you in everything, my child.In everything.”
“Oh, why,”cried the Blind Girl, tortured, as it seemed, almost beyond endurance,“why did you ever do this?Why did you ever fll my heart so full, and then come in like Death, and tear away the objects of my love?O Heaven, how blind I am!How helpless and alone!”
Her afficted father hung his head, and offered no reply but in his penitence and sorrow.
She had been but a short time in this passion of regret when the Cricket on the Hearth, unheard by all but her, began to chirp. Not merrily, but in a low, faint, sorrowing way.It was so mournful, that her tears began to fow;and, when the Presence which had been beside the Carrier all night, appeared behind her, pointing to her father, they fell down like rain.
She heard the Cricket-voice more plainly soon, and was conscious, through her blindness, of the Presence hovering about her father.
“Mary,”said the Blind Girl,“tell me what my home is. What it ;truly is.”
“It is a poor place, Bertha;very poor and bare indeed. The house will scarcely keep out wind and rain another winter.It is as roughly shielded from the weather, Bertha,”Dot continued in a low, clear voice,“as your poor father in his sackcloth coat.”
The Blind Girl, greatly agitated, rose, and led the Carrier's little wife aside.
“Those presents that I took such care of;that came almost at my wish, and were so dearly welcome to me,”she said, trembling;“where did they come from?Did you send them?”
“No.”
“Who, then?”
Dot saw she knew already, and was silent. The Blind Girl spread her hands before her face again.But in quite another manner now.
“Dear Mary, a moment. One moment.More this way.Speak softly to me.You are true I know.You'd not deceive me now;would you?”
“No, Bertha, indeed!”
“No, I am sure you would not. You have too much pity for me.Mary, look across the room to where we were just now—to where my father is—my father, so compassionate and loving to me—and tell me what you see.”
“I see,”said Dot, who understood her well,“an old man sitting in a chair, and leaning sorrowfully on the back, with his face resting on his hand. As if his child should comfort him, Bertha.”
“Yes, yes. She will.Go on.”
“He is an old man, worn with care and work. He is a spare, dejected, thoughtful, grey-haired man.I see him now, despondent and bowed down, and striving against nothing.But, Bertha, I have seen him many times before, and striving hard in many ways, for one great sacred object.And I honour his grey head, and bless him!”
The Blind Girl broke away from her;and, throwing herself upon her knees before him, took the grey head to her breast.
“It is my sight restored. It is my sight!”she cried.“I have been blind, and now my eyes are open.I never knew him!To think I might have died, and never truly seen the father who has been so loving to me!”
There were no words for Caleb's emotion.
“There is not a gallant fgure on this earth,”exclaimed the Blind Girl, holding him in her embrace,“that I would love so dearly, and would cherish so devotedly, as this!The greyer, and more worn, the dearer, father!Never let them say I am blind again. There's not a furrow in his face, there's not a hair upon his head, that shall be forgotten in my prayers and thanks to Heaven!”
Caleb managed to articulate,“My Bertha!”
“And in my blindness I believed him,”said the girl, caressing him with tears of exquisite affection,“to be so different. And having him beside me day by day, so mindful of me always, never dreamed of this!”
“The fresh smart father in the blue coat, Bertha,”said poor ;Caleb.“He's gone!”
“Nothing is gone,”she answered.“Dearest father, no!Everything is here—in you. The father that I loved so well;the father that I never loved enough, and never knew;the benefactor whom I frst began to reverence and love, because he had such sympathy for me,—all are here in you.Nothing is dead to me.The soul of all that was most dear to me is here—here, with the worn face, and the grey head.And I am NOT blind, father, any longer!”
Dot's whole attention had been concentrated, during this discourse, upon the father and daughter;but looking, now, towards the little Hay-maker in the Moorish meadow, she saw that the clock was within a few minutes of striking, and fell, immediately, into a nervous and excited state.
“Father!”said Bertha, hesitating.“Mary!”
“Yes, my dear,”returned Caleb.“Here she is.”
“There is no change in her. You never told me anything of her that was not true?”
“I should have done it, my dear, I'm afraid,”returned Caleb,“if I could have made her better than she was. But I must have changed her for the worse, if I had changed her at all.Nothing could improve her, Bertha.”
Confident as the Blind Girl had been when she asked the question, her delight and pride in the reply, and her renewed embrace of Dot, were charming to behold.
“More changes than you think for may happen, though, mydear,”said Dot.“Changes for the better, I mean;changes for great joy to some of us. You mustn't let them startle you too much, if any such should ever happen, and affect you.Are those wheels upon the road?You've a quick ear, Bertha.Are they wheels?”
“Yes. Coming very fast.”
“I—I—I know you have a quick ear,”said Dot, placing her hand upon her heart, and evidently talking on as fast as she could, to hide its palpitating state,“because I have noticed it often, and because you were so quick to fnd out that strange step last night. Though why you should have said, as I very well recollect you did say, Bertha,‘Whose step is that?'and why you should have taken any greater observation of it than of any other step, I don't know.Though, as I said just now, there are great changes in the world:great changes:and we can't do better than prepare ourselves to be surprised at hardly anything.”
Caleb wondered what this meant;perceiving that she spoke to him, no less than to his daughter. He saw her, with astonishment, so futtered and distressed that she could scarcely breathe;and holding to a chair, to save herself from falling.
“They are wheels indeed!”she panted.“Coming nearer!Nearer!Very close!And now you hear them stopping at the garden-gate!And now you hear a step outside the door—the same step, Bertha, is it not?—and now—!”
She uttered a wild cry of uncontrollable delight;and running up to Caleb, put her hands upon his eyes, as a young man rushed into the room, and, finging away his hat into the air, came sweeping ;down upon them.
“Is it over?”cried Dot.
“Yes!”
“Happily over?”
“Yes!”
“Do you recollect the voice, dear Caleb?Did you ever hear the like of it before?”cried Dot.
“If my boy in the Golden South Americas was alive—!”said Caleb, trembling.
“He is alive!”shrieked Dot, removing her hands from his eyes, and clapping them in ecstasy.“Look at him!See where he stands before you, healthy and strong!Your own dear son. Your own dear living, loving brother, Bertha!”
All honour to the little creature for her transports!All honour to her tears and laughter, when the three were locked in one another's arms!All honour to the heartiness with which she met the sunburnt sailor-fellow, with his dark streaming hair, half-way, and never turned her rosy little mouth aside, but suffered him to kiss it freely, and to press her to his bounding heart!
And honour to the Cuckoo too—why not?—for bursting out of the trap-door in the Moorish Palace like a housebreaker, and hiccoughing twelve times on the assembled company, as if he had got drunk for joy!
The Carrier, entering, started back. And well he might, to fnd himself in such good company.
“Look, John!”said Caleb, exultingly,“l(fā)ook here!My own boy from the Golden South Americas!My own son!Him that you ftted out, and sent away yourself!Him that you were always such a friend to!”
The Carrier advanced to seize him by the hand;but, recoiling, as some feature in his face awakened a remembrance of the Deaf Man in the Cart, said:
“Edward!Was it you?”
“Now tell him all!”cried Dot.“Tell him all, Edward;and don't spare me, for nothing shall make me spare myself in his eyes, ever again.”
“I was the man,”said Edward.
“And could you steal, disguised, into the house of your old friend?”rejoined the Carrier.“There was a frank boy once—how many years is it, Caleb, since we heard that he was dead, and had it proved, we thought?—who never would have done that.”
“There was a generous friend of mine once;more a father to me than a friend,”said Edward;“who never would have judged me, or any other man, unheard. You were he.So I am certain you will hear me now.”
The Carrier, with a troubled glance at Dot, who still kept far away from him, replied,“Well!that's but fair. I will.”
“You must know that when I left here a boy,”said Edward,“I was in love, and my love was returned. She was a very young girl, who perhaps(you may tell me)didn't know her own mind.But I ;knew mine, and I had a passion for her.”
“You had!”exclaimed the Carrier.“You!”
“Indeed I had,”returned the other.“And she returned it. I have ever since believed she did, and now I am sure she did.”
“Heaven help me!”said the Carrier.“This is worse than all.”
“Constant to her,”said Edward,“and returning, full of hope, after many hardships and perils, to redeem my part of our old contract, I heard, twenty miles away, that she was false to me;that she had forgotten me;and had bestowed herself upon another and a richer man. I had no mind to reproach her;but I wished to see her, and to prove beyond dispute that this was true.I hoped she might have been forced into it against her own desire and recollection.It would be small comfort, but it would be some, I thought, and on I came.That I might have the truth, the real truth, observing freely for myself, and judging for myself, without obstruction on the one hand, or presenting my own influence(if I had any)before her, on the other, I dressed myself unlike myself—you know how;and waited on the road—you know where.You had no suspicion of me;neither had—had she,”pointing to Dot,“until I whispered in her ear at that freside, and she so nearly betrayed me.”
“But when she knew that Edward was alive, and had come back,”sobbed Dot, now speaking for herself, as she had burned to do, all through this narrative;“and when she knew his purpose, she advised him by all means to keep his secret close;for his old friend John Peerybingle was much too open in his nature, and tooclumsy in all artifice—being a clumsy man in general,”said Dot, half laughing and half crying—“to keep it for him. And when she—that's me, John,”sobbed the little woman—“told him all, and how his sweetheart had believed him to be dead;and how she had at last been over-persuaded by her mother into a marriage which the silly, dear old thing called advantageous;and when she—that's me again, John—told him they were not yet married(though close upon it),and that it would be nothing but a sacrifce if it went on, for there was no love on her side;and when he went nearly mad with joy to hear it,—then she—that's me again—said she would go between them, as she had often done before in old times, John, and would sound his sweetheart, and be sure that what she—me again, John—said and thought was right.And it WAS right, John!And they were brought together, John!And they were married, John, an hour ago!And here's the Bride!And Gruff and Tackleton may die a bachelor!And I'm a happy little woman, May, God bless you!”
She was an irresistible little woman, if that be anything to the purpose;and never so completely irresistible as in her present transports. There never were congratulations so endearing and delicious as those she lavished on herself and on the Bride.
Amid the tumult of emotions in his breast, the honest Carrier had stood confounded. Flying, now, towards her, Dot stretched out her hand to stop him, and retreated as before.
“No, John, no!Hear all!Don't love me any more, John, till you've heard every word I have to say. It was wrong to have a secret ;from you, John.I'm very sorry.I didn't think it any harm, till I came and sat down by you on the little stool last night.But when I knew, by what was written in your face, that you had seen me walking in the gallery with Edward, and when I knew what you thought, I felt how giddy and how wrong it was.But oh, dear John, how could you, could you think so?”
Little woman, how she sobbed again!John Peerybingle would have caught her in his arms. But no;she wouldn't let him.
“Don't love me yet, please, John!Not for a long time yet!When I was sad about this intended marriage, dear, it was because I remembered May and Edward such young lovers;and knew that her heart was far away from Tackleton. You believe that, now, don't you, John?”
John was going to make another rush at this appeal;but she stopped him again.
“No;keep there, please, John!When I laugh at you, as I sometimes do, John, and call you clumsy and a dear old goose, and names of that sort, it's because I love you, John, so well, and take such pleasure in your ways, and wouldn't see you altered in the least respect to have you made a king tomorrow.”
“Hooroar!”said Caleb with unusual vigour.“My opinion!”
“And when I speak of people being middle-aged and steady, John, and pretend that we are a humdrum couple, going on in a jog-trot sort of way, it's only because I'm such a silly little thing, John, that I like, sometimes, to act as a kind of Play with Baby, and all that:and make believe.”
She saw that he was coming;and stopped him again. But she was very nearly too late.
“No, don't love me for another minute or two, if you please, John!What I want most to tell you, I have kept to the last. My dear, good, generous John, when we were talking the other night about the Cricket, I had it on my lips to say, that at frst I did not love you quite so dearly as I do now;when I frst came home here, I was half afraid that I mightn't learn to love you every bit as well as I hoped and prayed I might—being so very young, John!But, dear John, every day and hour I loved you more and more.And if I could have loved you better than I do, the noble words I heard you say this morning would have made me.But I can't.All the affection that I had(it was a great deal, John)I gave you, as you well deserve, long, long ago, and I have no more left to give.Now, my dear husband, take me to your heart again!That's my home, John;and never, never think of sending me to any other!”
You never will derive so much delight from seeing a glorious little woman in the arms of a third party as you would have felt if you had seen Dot run into the Carrier's embrace. It was the most complete, unmitigated, soul-fraught little piece of earnestness that ever you beheld in all your days.
You may be sure the Carrier was in a state of perfect rapture;and you may be sure Dot was likewise;and you may be sure they all were, inclusive of Miss Slowboy, who wept copiously for joy, and, ;wishing to include her young charge in the general interchange of congratulations, handed round the Baby to everybody in succession, as if it were something to drink.
But, now, the sound of wheels was heard again outside the door;and somebody exclaimed that Gruff and Tackleton was coming back. Speedily that worthy gentleman appeared, looking warm and fustered.
“Why, what the Devil's this, John Peerybingle?”said Tackleton.“There's some mistake. I appointed Mrs.Tackleton to meet me at the church, and I'll swear I passed her on the road, on her way here.Oh!here she is!I beg your pardon, sir;I haven't the pleasure of knowing you;but, if you can do me the favour to spare this young lady, she has rather a particular engagement this morning.”
“But I can't spare her,”returned Edward.“I couldn't think of it.”
“What do you mean, you vagabond?”said Tackleton.
“I mean that, as I can make allowance for your being vexed,”returned the other with a smile,“I am as deaf to harsh discourse this morning as I was to all discourse last night.”
The look that Tackleton bestowed upon him, and the start he gave!
“I am sorry, sir,”said Edward, holding out May's left hand, and especially the third finger,“that the young lady can't accompany you to church;but, as she has been there once this morning, perhaps you'll excuse her.”
Tackleton looked hard at the third fnger, and took a little piece of silver paper, apparently containing a ring, from his waistcoat pocket.
“Miss Slowboy,”said Tackleton,“will you have the kindness to throw that in the fre?Thankee.”
“It was a previous engagement, quite an old engagement, that prevented my wife from keeping her appointment with you, I assure you,”said Edward.
“Mr. Tackleton will do me the justice to acknowledge that I revealed it to him faithfully;and that I told him, many times, I never could forget it,”said May, blushing.
“Oh, certainly!”said Tackleton.“Oh, to be sure!Oh, it's all right, it's quite correct!Mrs. Edward Plummer, I infer?”
“That's the name,”returned the bridegroom.
“Ah!I shouldn't have known you, sir,”said Tackleton, scrutinising his face narrowly, and making a low bow.“I give you joy, sir!”
“Thankee.”
“Mrs. Peerybingle,”said Tackleton, turning suddenly to where she stood with her husband;“I'm sorry.You haven't done me a very great kindness, but, upon my life, I am sorry.You are better than I thought you.John Peerybingle, I am sorry.You understand me;that's enough.It's quite correct, ladies and gentlemen all, and perfectly satisfactory.Good morning!”
With these words he carried it off, and carried himself off too:merely stopping at the door to take the fowers and favours from his horse's head, and to kick that animal once in the ribs, as a means of informing him that there was a screw loose in his arrangements.
Of course, it became a serious duty now to make such a day of it as should mark these events for a high Feast and Festival in the Peerybingle Calendar for evermore. Accordingly, Dot went to work to produce such an entertainment as should refect undying honour on the house and on every one concerned;and, in a very short space of time, she was up to her dimpled elbows in flour, and whitening the Carrier's coat, every time he came near her, by stopping him to give him a kiss.That good fellow washed the greens, and peeled the turnips, and broke the plates, and upset iron pots full of cold water on the fire, and made himself useful in all sorts of ways:while a couple of professional assistants, hastily called in from somewhere in the neighbourhood, as on a point of life or death, ran against each other in all the doorways and round all the corners, and everybody tumbled over Tilly Slowboy and the Baby, everywhere.Tilly never came out in such force before.Her ubiquity was the theme of general admiration.She was a stumbling-block in the passage at five-and-twenty minutes past two;a man-trap in the kitchen at half-past two precisely;and a pitfall in the garret at five-and-twenty minutes to three.The Baby's head was, as it were, a test and touchstone for every description of matter, animal, vegetable, and mineral.Nothing was in use that day that didn't come, at some time or other, into close acquaintance with it.
Then there was a great Expedition set on foot to go and find out Mrs. Fielding;and to be dismally penitent to that excellent gentlewoman;and to bring her back, by force, if needful, to be happy and forgiving.And when the Expedition first discovered her, she would listen to no terms at all, but said, an unspeakable number of times, that ever she should have lived to see the day!and couldn't be got to say anything else, except“Now carry me to the grave:”which seemed absurd, on account of her not being dead, or anything at all like it.After a time she lapsed into a state of dreadful calmness, and observed that, when that unfortunate train of circumstances had occurred in the Indigo Trade, she had foreseen that she would be exposed, during her whole life, to every species of insult and contumely;and that she was glad to fnd it was the case;and begged they wouldn't trouble themselves about her,—for what was she?—oh dear!a nobody!—but would forget that such a being lived, and would take their course in life without her.From this bitterly sarcastic mood she passed into an angry one, in which she gave vent to the remarkable expression that the worm would turn if trodden on;and, after that, she yielded to a soft regret, and said, if they had only given her their confdence, what might she not have had it in her power to suggest!Taking advantage of this crisis in her feelings, the Expedition embraced her;and she very soon had her gloves on, and was on her way to John Peerybingle's in a state of unimpeachable gentility;with a paper parcel at her side containing a cap of state, almost as tall, and quite as stiff, as a mitre.
Then, there were Dot's father and mother to come in another little chaise;and they were behind their time;and fears were entertained;and there was much looking out for them down the road;and Mrs. Fielding always would look in the wrong and morally impossible direction;and, being apprised thereof, hoped she might take the liberty of looking where she pleased.At last they came;a chubby little couple, jogging along in a snug and comfortable little way that quite belonged to the Dot family;and Dot and her mother, side by side, were wonderful to see.They were so like each other.
Then Dot's mother had to renew her acquaintance with May's mother;and May's mother always stood on her gentility;and Dot's mother never stood on anything but her active little feet. And old Dot—so to call Dot's father, I forgot it wasn’t his right name, but never mind—took liberties, and shook hands at first sight, and seemed to think a cap but so much starch and muslin, and didn’t defer himself at all to the Indigo Trade, but said there was no help for it now;and, in Mrs.Fielding’s summing up, was a good-natured kind of man—but coarse, my dear.
I wouldn't have missed Dot, doing the honours in her wedding-gown, my benison on her bright face!for any money. No!nor the good Carrier, so jovial and so ruddy, at the bottom of the table.Nor the brown, fresh sailor-fellow, and his handsome wife.Nor any one among them.To have missed the dinner would have been to miss as jolly and as stout a meal as man need eat;and to have missed the overfowing cups in which they drank The Wedding Day would havebeen the greatest miss of all.
After dinner Caleb sang the song about the Sparkling Bowl. As I'm a living man, hoping to keep so for a year or two, he sang it through.
And, by-the-bye, a most unlooked-for incident occurred, just as he fnished the last verse.
There was a tap at the door;and a man came staggering in, without saying with your leave, or by your leave, with something heavy on his head. Setting this down in the middle of the table, symmetrically in the centre of the nuts and apples, he said:
“Mr. Tackleton's compliments, and, as he hasn't got no use for the cake himself, p'raps you'll eat it.”
And, with those words, he walked off.
There was some surprise among the company, as you may imagine. Mrs.Fielding, being a lady of infinite discernment, suggested that the cake was poisoned, and related a narrative of a cake which, within her knowledge, had turned a seminary for young ladies blue.But she was overruled by acclamation;and the cake was cut by May with much ceremony and rejoicing.
I don't think any one had tasted it, when there came another tap at the door, and the same man appeared again, having under his arm a vast brown-paper parcel.
“Mr. Tackleton's compliments, and he's sent a few toys for the Babby.They ain't ugly.”
After the delivery of which expressions, he retired again.
The whole party would have experienced great difficulty in finding words for their astonishment, even if they had had ample time to seek them. But they had none at all;for the messenger had scarcely shut the door behind him, when there came another tap, and Tackleton himself walked in.
“Mrs. Peerybingle!”said the toy merchant, hat in hand,“I'm sorry.I'm more sorry than I was this morning.I have had time to think of it.John Peerybingle!I am sour by disposition;but I can't help being sweetened, more or less, by coming face to face with such a man as you.Caleb!This unconscious little nurse gave me a broken hint last night, of which I have found the thread.I blush to think how easily I might have bound you and your daughter to me, and what a miserable idiot I was when I took her for one!Friends, one and all, my house is very lonely tonight.I have not so much as a Cricket on my Hearth.I have scared them all away.Be gracious to me:let me join this happy party!”
He was at home in fve minutes. You never saw such a fellow.What had he been doing with himself all his life, never to have known before his great capacity of being jovial?Or what had the Fairies been doing with him, to have effected such a change?
“John!you won't send me home this evening, will you?”whispered Dot.
He had been very near it, though.
There wanted but one living creature to make the party complete;and, in the twinkling of an eye, there he was, very thirstywith hard running, and engaged in hopeless endeavours to squeeze his head into a narrow pitcher. He had gone with the cart to its journey's end, very much disgusted with the absence of his master, and stupendously rebellious to the Deputy.After lingering about the stable for some little time, vainly attempting to incite the old horse to the mutinous act of returning on his own account, he had walked into the taproom, and laid himself down before the fire.But, suddenly yielding to the conviction that the Deputy was a humbug, and must be abandoned, he had got up again, turned tail, and come home.
There was a dance in the evening. With which general mention of that recreation, I should have left it alone, if I had not some reason to suppose that it was quite an original dance, and one of a most uncommon fgure.It was formed in an odd way;in this way.
Edward, that sailor-fellow—a good free dashing sort of fellow he was—had been telling them various marvels concerning parrots, and mines, and Mexicans, and gold dust, when all at once he took it in his head to jump up from his seat and propose a dance;for Bertha's harp was there, and she such a hand upon it as you seldom hear. Dot(sly little piece of affectation when she chose)said her dancing days were over;I think because the Carrier was smoking his pipe, and she liked sitting by him best.Mrs.Fielding had no choice, of course, but to say her dancing days were over, after that;and everybody said the same, except May;May was ready.
So, May and Edward get up, amid great applause, to dance alone;and Bertha plays her liveliest tune.
Well!if you'll believe me, they had not been dancing five minutes, when suddenly the Carrier fings his pipe away, takes Dot round the waist, dashes out into the room, and starts off with her, toe and heel, quite wonderfully. Tackleton no sooner sees this than he skims across to Mrs.Fielding, takes her round the waist, and follows suit.Old Dot no sooner sees this than up he is, all alive, whisks off Mrs.Dot into the middle of the dance, and is foremost there.Caleb no sooner sees this than he clutches Tilly Slowboy by both hands, and goes off at score;Miss Slowboy, firm in the belief that diving hotly in among the other couples, and effecting any number of concussions with them, is your only principle of footing it.
Hark!how the Cricket joins the music with its Chirp, Chirp, Chirp;and how the kettle hums!
But what is this?Even as I listen to them blithely, and turn towards Dot, for one last glimpse of a little fgure very pleasant to me, she and the rest have vanished into air, and I am left alone. A Cricket sings upon the Hearth;a broken child's toy lies upon the ground:and nothing else remains.
運(yùn)貨夫在他家的壁爐前坐下來(lái)的時(shí)候,墻角上的那只荷蘭時(shí)鐘敲了十點(diǎn)鐘。他煩惱不堪,悲傷逾恒,似乎讓那只杜鵑都嚇了一跳,使得它盡可能短促地做完樂(lè)音裊裊的報(bào)時(shí)后,立即鉆回它的摩爾式宮殿,把小小的門砰的一聲關(guān)上,仿佛這罕見(jiàn)的景象讓它在感情上受不了。
要是那個(gè)制作干草的小人兒手持最快的長(zhǎng)柄鐮刀作為武器,一下下地割到運(yùn)貨夫的心里去,也絕不會(huì)像小不點(diǎn)兒那樣將他的心割得那么深,傷得那么狠。
那顆心充滿了對(duì)她的愛(ài);那顆心被數(shù)不清的千萬(wàn)縷迷人的回憶的線緊緊纏繞著,那些線是由她那出于可愛(ài)的品性的日常行為所紡成的;她把她自己那么溫柔地、那么親昵地珍藏在那顆心里;那顆心對(duì)真理是那么單純,那么熱切;對(duì)正義是那樣堅(jiān)定,對(duì)邪惡卻是那樣無(wú)力,因而起先那顆心中既沒(méi)有憤怒,也沒(méi)有報(bào)復(fù)的情感,只有容納那形象已經(jīng)支離破碎的它的偶像的空間。當(dāng)運(yùn)貨夫在壁爐前坐下,在那兒沉思的時(shí)候,壁爐已經(jīng)冰冷漆黑,其他更可怕的思想開始在他心中涌現(xiàn),宛如夜間刮起的一陣狂風(fēng)。那個(gè)生客在這個(gè)被糟踐了的他的家里,只消跨三步就可以到達(dá)他的臥室門前,只消一拳就可以把房門敲開。泰克爾頓剛才說(shuō)過(guò)“可能連你自己都來(lái)不及知道就已經(jīng)動(dòng)手殺了人”。如果他讓這個(gè)流氓有時(shí)間跟自己肉搏,那怎么可以算是殺害他!更何況他還比自己年輕。
在這會(huì)兒動(dòng)這個(gè)腦筋可不是時(shí)候,對(duì)于他陰郁的心境是有害的。如果狂怒的思潮,刺激他采取了報(bào)復(fù)的行動(dòng),會(huì)把這個(gè)歡樂(lè)的房屋變成孤單的旅客在夜間害怕路過(guò)的兇宅。在朦朧的月光下,膽怯的人會(huì)透過(guò)破窗子看見(jiàn)互相搏斗的人影。在暴風(fēng)驟雨中,他們會(huì)聽(tīng)見(jiàn)陣陣喧鬧聲。
他比自己年輕!沒(méi)錯(cuò)兒,準(zhǔn)沒(méi)錯(cuò)兒,是一個(gè)已經(jīng)贏得了那顆他自己根本就沒(méi)有觸動(dòng)過(guò)的芳心的情人,是一個(gè)她從前所選擇的情人,她對(duì)他魂?duì)繅?mèng)縈,她為他衣寬人瘦。而在這種時(shí)候,他卻以為妻子在自己身旁覺(jué)得很幸福呢。哦,思及此,令人悲慟欲絕。
她一直都在樓上哄孩子睡覺(jué)。他在爐前坐著沉思的時(shí)候,她走近他的身邊,把她常坐的小凳子放到他的腳旁,他卻一無(wú)所知,因?yàn)樗?jīng)受著極大的苦痛的煎熬,什么聲響也聽(tīng)不見(jiàn)。她把手按在他的手上,他這才知道她的到來(lái),她正仰著頭仔細(xì)地瞧著他的臉。
她是帶著驚訝的神情望著他嗎?不是。這僅是第一眼的印象,他不得不再看她一眼,確定一下。不,不是驚訝,是一種熱切的詢問(wèn)的目光,可不是驚訝。起先那目光惶恐而嚴(yán)肅,過(guò)后又似乎因?yàn)榭闯鏊男乃级D(zhuǎn)變成一種奇怪的狂妄的駭人的微笑,接著只見(jiàn)她低下頭來(lái),十指交叉著按在額頭上,頭發(fā)披垂下來(lái)。
雖然此刻萬(wàn)能之神的神力可以聽(tīng)任他來(lái)支配,可是由于他的內(nèi)心充滿著強(qiáng)烈的慈悲的神性,他連鼓起輕如鴻毛的一絲力量來(lái)反對(duì)她都做不到。他過(guò)去常常滿懷深情地、自豪地望著她那樣天真快樂(lè)地彎腰坐在那張小凳子上,可是這會(huì)兒他卻受不了。所以,她站起身來(lái)離開了他,一邊走一邊啜泣,她在他身旁一向占有的位置如今也空著了,然而這反倒使他感到輕松。然而這情況本身卻比其他一切都更加讓他感到痛苦。這提醒他,如今自己變得多么孤獨(dú)了;這提醒他,如今自己生命中重要的聯(lián)系是怎樣給扯斷了。
這種感覺(jué)越是強(qiáng)烈,他越是感到自己寧可忍受看見(jiàn)她懷抱著他們的嬰孩,年紀(jì)輕輕就死在他的眼前。他對(duì)他的情敵越來(lái)越怒不可遏。他向四下里張望,尋找武器。
有一支槍掛在墻上,他取了下來(lái),朝那個(gè)背信棄義的生客的房門走了一兩步。他知道槍膛里有子彈。他產(chǎn)生了一個(gè)模糊的念頭,使他認(rèn)為把這個(gè)人當(dāng)作畜生似的射死是無(wú)可非議的。這個(gè)念頭在他心中不斷膨脹,變成一個(gè)巨魔,整個(gè)兒控制了他,驅(qū)走了所有的比較溫和的念頭,在那兒建立了它那一統(tǒng)天下的王國(guó)。
這話說(shuō)錯(cuò)了,并非驅(qū)走了所有的比較溫和的念頭,而是巧妙地把它們改變了,把它們變成了驅(qū)趕他向前的鞭子。變水為血,變愛(ài)為恨,變溫柔為魯莽的兇殘。她那傷透了心的低聲下氣的形象,依然以一種無(wú)可抗拒的力量喚起他的善良和憐憫,那形象始終沒(méi)有離開他的腦海;可是那形象逗留在那兒,卻催促他走到房門前,把那武器舉到肩膀上,還使他鼓起勇氣,讓他的手指扣住扳機(jī),大聲喊道:“殺死他!趁他在床上殺死他!”
他把槍掉轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)來(lái),準(zhǔn)備用槍托擊門。他把槍舉到空中了,一個(gè)模糊的念頭來(lái)到他的腦海,他想向那人叫喊,讓他看在上帝的分上,快快越窗逃走——
這時(shí)候,掙扎著的爐火的余燼突然發(fā)出紅光,把整個(gè)壁爐照亮了;爐邊的蟋蟀啾啾啾,又開始唱起來(lái)了。
他所聽(tīng)到過(guò)的聲音中,沒(méi)有一個(gè)人的聲音,哪怕是她的聲音,都不能像這只蟋蟀的聲音這樣感動(dòng)他,這樣使他的心軟下來(lái)。她把她對(duì)這只蟋蟀的喜愛(ài)告訴他的時(shí)候所用的淳樸的語(yǔ)言,他又一次聽(tīng)見(jiàn)了;她當(dāng)時(shí)那副顫抖著的、真摯的姿態(tài)又出現(xiàn)在他的眼前;她那愉快的嗓音,那給一個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)的人的爐邊奏出家庭音樂(lè)的嗓音是多么動(dòng)人??!那嗓音這會(huì)兒一陣又一陣地使他的較為善良一面的天性發(fā)抖,把它喚醒,使它復(fù)蘇,而且發(fā)揮了作用。
他從房門前退了回來(lái),像一個(gè)夢(mèng)游者從一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng)中醒過(guò)來(lái)似的,接著他把那支槍擱在一邊。然后他又在壁爐前坐下,雙手十指交叉蒙著臉,嗚咽起來(lái),借著淚水排遣他的苦痛。
爐邊的那只蟋蟀一跳一跳地來(lái)到了屋子里,以一個(gè)小仙子的影像站在他的面前。
“‘我愛(ài)它,’”這小仙子的聲音說(shuō)著,重復(fù)一遍他記得很清楚的話,“‘因?yàn)樗镍Q唱我聽(tīng)過(guò)許多次,它的沒(méi)有惡意的音樂(lè)曾經(jīng)引起我許多遐想。’”
“她是這么說(shuō)的!”運(yùn)貨夫嚷了起來(lái),“的確是這樣!”
“‘約翰,我們這個(gè)家一直是幸福的,我為此愛(ài)這只蟋蟀!’”
“老天知道,這個(gè)家一直是幸福的,”運(yùn)貨夫答道,“過(guò)去她使這個(gè)家幸福,總是這樣的——可現(xiàn)在不是這樣了。”
“她是那么溫和、優(yōu)雅,那么賢惠,那么高高興興,那么忙個(gè)不停,又那么無(wú)憂無(wú)慮的!”那聲音說(shuō)。
“要不是那樣,我怎么可能會(huì)像過(guò)去那樣愛(ài)她?!边\(yùn)貨夫答道。
那聲音糾正他道:“像現(xiàn)在這樣愛(ài)她?!?/p>
運(yùn)貨夫又說(shuō)“像過(guò)去那樣愛(ài)她”。不過(guò)語(yǔ)氣已經(jīng)不那么堅(jiān)決了。他那顫抖的舌頭反抗著約束它的力量,偏要一意孤行,為了它自己,也為了他。
那仙子用一種祈禱的姿勢(shì)舉起了手,說(shuō)道:
“在你自己的壁爐邊——”
“那個(gè)她摧殘了的壁爐。”運(yùn)貨夫插嘴說(shuō)。
“那個(gè)壁爐,她——經(jīng)常!——祝福它和使它散發(fā)出光輝,”蟋蟀說(shuō),“如果沒(méi)有她,那個(gè)壁爐只不過(guò)是幾塊石頭、幾塊磚和幾根生銹的爐柵而已,可是通過(guò)她,那個(gè)壁爐卻變成了你家的祭壇了。在那祭壇上,你每天晚上都把一些無(wú)聊的情感、私心雜念或者憂慮作為祭品獻(xiàn)上,還虔敬地獻(xiàn)上平靜的心、篤信的天性和洋溢的熱情。因此,世界上所有的豪華的神殿里,那些最華麗的神龕前,燃燒著的最貴重的香火,都比不上從這個(gè)破舊的煙囪里往上冒的煙那樣馥郁芬芳!在你自己的壁爐邊,在它寧?kù)o的圣地中,被它溫柔的影響和聯(lián)想環(huán)繞著;聽(tīng)聽(tīng)她的嗓音!也聽(tīng)聽(tīng)我的嗓音!聽(tīng)聽(tīng)所有用你的壁爐和家庭的語(yǔ)言說(shuō)話的東西的嗓音!”
“聽(tīng)那一切為她辯解的話嗎?”運(yùn)貨夫問(wèn)。
“凡是用你的壁爐和家庭的語(yǔ)言說(shuō)話的東西都一定要為她辯解的!”蟋蟀答道,“因?yàn)樗鼈冋f(shuō)的是事情的真相。”
運(yùn)貨夫雙手捧住腦袋,依然坐在椅子上想啊想的,那個(gè)精靈始終站在他身旁,借著它的力量激起他種種回憶,把那些往事像一面鏡子或一張圖畫那樣呈現(xiàn)在他的眼前。那個(gè)精靈并非孑然一身。因?yàn)檫€有許多小仙子成群結(jié)隊(duì)地?fù)砩蟻?lái),他們來(lái)自爐磚里,來(lái)自煙囪里;來(lái)自那口鐘、那個(gè)煙斗、那把水壺和那個(gè)搖籃里;來(lái)自地板、墻壁、天花板和樓梯里;來(lái)自屋子外面的那輛運(yùn)貨馬車、屋子里的碗柜和種種日用家具里;來(lái)自她慣常接觸的所有的東西和所有的地方,而這一切在她的悶悶不樂(lè)的丈夫心上纏住了對(duì)她的回憶。他們來(lái)自這一切。他們并不像蟋蟀那樣待在運(yùn)貨夫身旁,而是忙忙碌碌地活動(dòng)著,他們對(duì)小不點(diǎn)兒的影像表示無(wú)限尊敬。她的影像一出現(xiàn),他們就扯他的衣襟,向那影像指指點(diǎn)點(diǎn)。他們把它團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住,擁抱它,把花朵撒在地上讓它踩著走;用他們的小手給它美麗的頭戴上花冠。他們表示喜歡它,疼愛(ài)它,還表示除了愛(ài)嬉戲的和贊美她的他們自己之外,沒(méi)有一個(gè)丑陋邪惡的或者興師問(wèn)罪的人有權(quán)利認(rèn)識(shí)它。
他的心里總是縈繞著她的影像。那影像總是逗留在那兒。
她坐在爐前,一邊忙著針線活兒,一邊曼聲低哼著歌兒。多么歡樂(lè)的、生氣蓬勃的、穩(wěn)健的小不點(diǎn)兒??!這時(shí)候,小仙子們突然不約而同,全都轉(zhuǎn)身向著他,全都睜大著眼睛凝神盯住他。他們仿佛對(duì)他說(shuō):“難道這個(gè)人是你因之而悲痛的輕浮的妻子嗎?”
屋外傳來(lái)一陣歡騰聲:樂(lè)器在奏著樂(lè),人們喧鬧著,哄笑著。一群笑笑鬧鬧的年輕人擁進(jìn)了屋子,其中有梅·費(fèi)爾丁和二十個(gè)美麗的姑娘。小不點(diǎn)兒是她們中間最美麗的一個(gè),然而和她們同樣年輕。他們來(lái)約她去參加聚會(huì)。那是一個(gè)舞會(huì)。如果有哪雙纖小的腳是為了跳舞而生的,那么無(wú)疑就是她的腳??墒撬齾s笑了笑,搖搖頭,朝爐火上煮著的食物指了指,又朝已經(jīng)鋪好了的餐桌指了指,態(tài)度淡漠而又極其歡樂(lè),使她顯得比以往更嫵媚了。她就這樣快快活活地把他們打發(fā)走了。當(dāng)他們從她的身邊走出去的時(shí)候,她向那些本來(lái)可能充當(dāng)她的舞伴的小伙子一一點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭,帶著一種詼諧的冷漠神情。如果小伙子們是愛(ài)慕著她的話,她那種神情就足以使他們立刻投河自盡了——可是他們必定多少都曾經(jīng)愛(ài)慕過(guò)她,他們實(shí)在也沒(méi)有辦法不愛(ài)慕她呀!然而冷漠無(wú)情卻并非她的本性。啊,絕不是!因?yàn)椴灰粫?huì)兒的工夫,有一個(gè)運(yùn)貨夫來(lái)到了門前。哎呀,她是多么熱情地迎接了他呀!
這時(shí)候那些睜大著眼睛的小仙子又同時(shí)都朝他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái),而且仿佛在說(shuō):“難道她是拋棄了你的妻子嗎?”
一個(gè)黑影落到那面鏡子或者是那張圖畫上,隨你把它稱作什么都行。那是那個(gè)生客的巨大的黑影,那模樣就跟他初次站在他們的屋頂下的時(shí)候一樣。那黑影遮住了鏡面,把其他所有影像都遮蔽了??墒悄切┟艚莸男∠勺酉衩鄯渌频拿€(gè)不停,又把那個(gè)黑影抹得干干凈凈了。小不點(diǎn)兒又出現(xiàn)在那兒了,仍然快快活活,十分美麗。
她正搖著搖籃,里面躺著她的小寶寶,她對(duì)他輕聲唱著歌;她把頭倚在一個(gè)人的肩膀上,這個(gè)肩膀是屬于那個(gè)身旁站著蟋蟀仙子的、沉思著的人。
這時(shí),夜?jié)u漸深了——我指的是真實(shí)的夜,并非由仙子的時(shí)鐘報(bào)時(shí)的夜。就在運(yùn)貨夫想到這兒的時(shí)候,月亮突然穿云而出,在夜空中明亮地照耀著。也許這時(shí)在他的腦海中也閃現(xiàn)出了一道寧?kù)o的光,使他能更冷靜地想一想所發(fā)生的事。
雖然那個(gè)生客的影子仍然不時(shí)地落到那面鏡子上,而且總是那么清晰、巨大、輪廓分明,不過(guò)再也不像先前那么烏黑了。那個(gè)黑影一出現(xiàn),小仙子們便驚慌失措,異口同聲地嚷起來(lái),小小的手和腳忙成一團(tuán),瞬間把那個(gè)黑影抹掉了,敏捷得令人難以置信。只要他們又得到小不點(diǎn)兒,他們就把快活美麗的小不點(diǎn)兒指給他看,并在一邊極其激動(dòng)地歡呼著。
他們從不讓她顯現(xiàn)得既不美麗又不愉快,因?yàn)樗麄兗热皇羌艺?,虛假?duì)他們來(lái)說(shuō)是一種毀滅。因此,在他們看來(lái),小不點(diǎn)兒除了是一個(gè)兢兢業(yè)業(yè)、歡天喜地的愉快的小人兒,是運(yùn)貨夫家中的光輝和太陽(yáng)之外,還可能是什么呢?
當(dāng)小仙子們又使小不點(diǎn)兒出現(xiàn)在一群賢明的老保姆之中的時(shí)候,他們又極其興奮起來(lái)了。只見(jiàn)她懷抱著小寶寶,跟老保姆們聊著天,裝出一副老態(tài)龍鐘的、安詳?shù)纳駪B(tài),又沉靜,又古板老邁,靠在她的丈夫的臂彎里。而且她自己才是那么點(diǎn)兒年紀(jì)的小婦人家,就想讓人家認(rèn)為她已經(jīng)看破紅塵,并且是一個(gè)對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)做母親根本不是什么新奇事兒的人。然而同時(shí)呢,他們又使她顯現(xiàn)出正在哧哧地暗笑丈夫的笨拙,而為了使他顯得瀟灑,正在把他的襯衫領(lǐng)子往上拉扯,并且就在這屋子里興高采烈地、裝模作樣地教他跳舞。
當(dāng)他們把小不點(diǎn)兒和那個(gè)盲女孩兒一同顯現(xiàn)出來(lái)的時(shí)候,他們又轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái)睜大眼睛狠狠地盯著運(yùn)貨夫,因?yàn)殡m然她給所到之處全都帶來(lái)了歡樂(lè)和生氣,而她帶到凱萊布·普盧默家來(lái)的卻是更多的歡樂(lè)和生氣。盲女孩兒愛(ài)她,信任她,感激她。她那種匆匆辭謝蓓莎的感謝的委婉態(tài)度;她利用訪問(wèn)的全部時(shí)間幫助這個(gè)家做著各種事情的那種小小的技巧——實(shí)際上拼命做著事情,卻裝出在玩樂(lè)的樣子;她每次總是帶來(lái)那么豐富的美味佳肴,又是小牛肉又是火腿餡餅的,還有啤酒;她來(lái)到他們家和離去的時(shí)候在門口顯露的容光煥發(fā)的小臉蛋兒;她因?yàn)槌蔀檫@個(gè)家的一分子而從她臉上所流露的奇異的表情,從她整潔的腳到她的頭頂——而她又是這個(gè)家所不可或缺的,所非有不可的;所有這一切都是小仙子們所喜愛(ài)的,他們也因?yàn)檫@一切而愛(ài)她。于是他們又突然全都用懇求的眼光盯著他看,仿佛對(duì)他說(shuō):“難道她是對(duì)你背信棄義的妻子嗎?”有些小仙子挨著她的衣服愛(ài)撫她。
在這漫長(zhǎng)的夜晚,他心煩意亂,小仙子們不止一次、兩次或三次,一再讓他看見(jiàn)她坐在她喜歡坐的那張小凳子上,低著頭,手指交叉著按在額上,頭發(fā)披垂下來(lái)。他最后見(jiàn)到她的時(shí)候,她就是這個(gè)樣兒。小仙子們每逢見(jiàn)到她這個(gè)樣子,就不朝運(yùn)貨夫轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去,也不朝他看,他們緊緊圍著她,安慰她,吻她,擠在一塊兒向她表示同情和友愛(ài),把運(yùn)貨夫完全給忘了。
這個(gè)夜晚就這么過(guò)去了。月亮下去了,星光黯淡了,寒冷的拂曉帶來(lái)了旭日。運(yùn)貨夫仍然坐在壁爐角落里沉思著。他雙手支著頭,在那兒已經(jīng)坐了一整夜。通宵達(dá)旦,那只蟋蟀在爐邊不停地唱著,啾啾啾,啾啾啾。通宵達(dá)旦,他聽(tīng)著。通宵達(dá)旦,那些家宅的仙子忙著跟他打交道。通宵達(dá)旦,除了那個(gè)黑影落到鏡面上的時(shí)候,小不點(diǎn)兒在鏡子里始終顯得親切可愛(ài),無(wú)可指責(zé)。
天大亮了,他站起身來(lái),漱洗完畢,穿好衣服。他再也不能興致勃勃地著手做他的日常工作了,那是需要?jiǎng)蓬^的。不過(guò)這倒沒(méi)有什么關(guān)系,因?yàn)檫@一天是泰克爾頓的結(jié)婚大喜的日子,他已經(jīng)請(qǐng)人代他工作了。他原來(lái)打算和小不點(diǎn)兒快快活活地到教堂里去的??墒沁@個(gè)計(jì)劃已經(jīng)告吹了。這一天也是他們自己的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日。唉!他怎么也想不到一年來(lái)竟然落得個(gè)這樣的下場(chǎng)!
運(yùn)貨夫原本料想泰克爾頓會(huì)一早來(lái)到他家,果然不出所料,他在家門前來(lái)來(lái)回回還沒(méi)有踱上幾分鐘,便瞧見(jiàn)那個(gè)玩具商坐著輕便馬車一路過(guò)來(lái)了。馬車走近的時(shí)候,他看見(jiàn)泰克爾頓為了結(jié)婚打扮得漂漂亮亮的,把那匹馬的頭也大大裝飾了一番,又是花朵,又是彩球的。
跟泰克爾頓相比,那匹馬倒更像是新郎了;他的那只半閉著眼睛的神情叫人看了比往常更討厭。可是運(yùn)貨夫卻沒(méi)有注意到這一情況,他正在想著其他的事。
“約翰·皮瑞賓格爾!”泰克爾頓帶著一種慰問(wèn)的態(tài)度喊道,“我的老朋友,今天早晨你可好哇?”
“泰克爾頓先生,昨兒一整夜我可苦透了,”運(yùn)貨夫搖搖頭說(shuō),“因?yàn)槲倚膩y如麻。不過(guò)現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)好了!你能勻出半小時(shí)左右,讓我跟你私下里談?wù)剢???/p>
“我是特地到你這兒來(lái)的,”泰克爾頓邊回答邊下了車,“不必管那匹馬。你只消給它一點(diǎn)兒干草,把韁繩拴在這根柱子上,它就會(huì)安安靜靜地站著的。”
運(yùn)貨夫從馬廄里拿來(lái)了干草,扔在馬的腳前,接著他們倆就進(jìn)了屋子。
“你的婚禮不是在上午舉行嗎?”運(yùn)貨夫問(wèn)。
“不是,”泰克爾頓回答道,“時(shí)間多著呢,時(shí)間多著呢。”
他們走進(jìn)廚房的時(shí)候,蒂蕾·施羅博埃正在乒乒乓乓地使勁敲著那個(gè)生客的房門,那扇門距離廚房只有幾步路。她的一只紅腫的眼睛貼在房門的鎖孔上(蒂蕾由于她的女主人哭了,自己也哭了一整夜)。她把門敲得震天響,樣子似乎有點(diǎn)害怕了。
“我這樣敲,卻沒(méi)人聽(tīng)得見(jiàn),”蒂蕾看了看四周說(shuō)道,“我希望可不要有什么人走了,可千萬(wàn)不要有什么人死啦!”
施羅博埃小姐為了強(qiáng)調(diào)這一仁慈的愿望,又對(duì)著房門大敲大踢起來(lái),可是什么結(jié)果也沒(méi)有。
“要我去看看嗎?”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“這事情可怪啦?!?/p>
從那扇門轉(zhuǎn)開臉去的運(yùn)貨夫這時(shí)候向他使個(gè)眼色,表示他要是愿意去就好了。
于是泰克爾頓就去給施羅博埃小姐幫忙,也是又踢又敲了起來(lái),然而也是得不到絲毫回應(yīng)。不過(guò)他卻想試試門把手,誰(shuí)知“呀”的一聲,門竟然給打開了,他先是探頭窺視了一下,接著又定睛注視了一番,然后便跨進(jìn)屋子里去,不一會(huì)兒工夫卻又奔了出來(lái)。
“約翰·皮瑞賓格爾,”泰克爾頓湊在他的耳邊說(shuō),“我希望昨晚沒(méi)有出什么事情——沒(méi)有發(fā)生什么莽撞的事情吧?!?/p>
運(yùn)貨夫猛然向他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去。
“因?yàn)樗辉诶?!”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“窗子卻開著。我看不出有什么痕跡——的確,窗子跟花園的地面差不多高,我原來(lái)?yè)?dān)心會(huì)發(fā)生——發(fā)生一場(chǎng)斗毆。呃?”
他幾乎把他那只富于表情的眼睛全閉上了,他緊緊盯著運(yùn)貨夫看。他那只眼睛,他的臉,他的整個(gè)身體,全都猛烈地扭動(dòng)一下,好像恨不得要從運(yùn)貨夫身上把事情真相擰出來(lái)似的。
“你放心吧,”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“昨晚我既沒(méi)有罵他也沒(méi)有打他。他就進(jìn)了屋子,從那以后誰(shuí)也沒(méi)有進(jìn)去過(guò)。所以他完全是自愿走的。如果我能把過(guò)去改變,好像他從來(lái)沒(méi)有來(lái)過(guò)那樣,那么就是讓我離家一輩子,挨家挨戶討飯,我也愿意。可是他來(lái)過(guò)了,又走了。所以我跟他已經(jīng)什么關(guān)系也沒(méi)有了!”
“??!——我可認(rèn)為他溜得太輕松了?!碧┛藸栴D拉過(guò)一把椅子坐了下來(lái),說(shuō)道。
運(yùn)貨夫?qū)@句譏誚他的話沒(méi)有領(lǐng)會(huì),他也坐了下來(lái),伸出一只手把臉遮住一會(huì)兒,然后才繼續(xù)說(shuō)。
“你昨天晚上讓我看見(jiàn),”他終于說(shuō)了,“讓我看見(jiàn)我的妻子——我心愛(ài)的妻子——秘密地——”
“而且溫柔地?!碧┛藸栴D暗暗提示。
“假裝看不出那人的化裝,找機(jī)會(huì)讓他和自己幽會(huì)。我所不愿意看到的景象,我想再也沒(méi)有超過(guò)這個(gè)的了。我所不愿意看到的人,在這個(gè)世界上再也沒(méi)有誰(shuí)勝過(guò)讓我看到那種景象的人了?!?/p>
“我承認(rèn)自己一向是多疑的,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“我也知道這一點(diǎn)使我在這兒惹人討厭。”
“可是既然你讓我看到了那種景象,”運(yùn)貨夫不理睬他的話,只顧繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去,“既然你看見(jiàn)了她——我的妻子,我心愛(ài)的妻子,”他重復(fù)著這些話的時(shí)候,他的嗓音和眼神全都顯得越來(lái)越沉著,越來(lái)越堅(jiān)定,顯然他正在按照一個(gè)堅(jiān)定不移的意志行事,“既然你已經(jīng)看見(jiàn)她落入這種不利的處境,那么,對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題,你就應(yīng)當(dāng)也用我的眼光來(lái)看,體會(huì)一下我的心情,了解一下我的意見(jiàn),這樣才對(duì),才合宜。因?yàn)槲乙呀?jīng)決定了,”運(yùn)貨夫凝視著他說(shuō),“而且現(xiàn)在什么也動(dòng)搖不了我了?!?/p>
泰克爾頓咕嚕了幾句一般性的表示同意的話,說(shuō)什么作一些剖白確實(shí)是必要的等等,可是他卻被他的伙伴的態(tài)度嚇得怔住了。運(yùn)貨夫相貌平平,性格粗魯,然而此時(shí)卻透露出一種莊嚴(yán)和高貴的氣質(zhì),而這種氣質(zhì)只有那蘊(yùn)藏著豁達(dá)和崇高的胸襟的人的靈魂才能顯現(xiàn)出來(lái)。
“我是個(gè)相貌平平的粗漢,”運(yùn)貨夫又接著說(shuō),“一無(wú)可取。我一點(diǎn)兒也不聰明,這你再清楚不過(guò)。我也不年輕了。我愛(ài)我的小不點(diǎn)兒,是因?yàn)槲以谒赣H的家里,從小看著她長(zhǎng)大,是因?yàn)槲抑浪卸嗝纯蓯?ài),是因?yàn)樗俏业拿右呀?jīng)有好多好多年。盡管有許多人我是比不上的,可是我認(rèn)為他們決不能像我那樣愛(ài)我的小不點(diǎn)兒!”
他頓住了。在他再開口說(shuō)話之前,有短短的一段時(shí)間,他的一只腳輕輕地拍打著地面。
“我曾經(jīng)常常這么想:雖然我配不上她,可是我一定要做一個(gè)對(duì)她體貼入微的好丈夫。而且對(duì)于她的可貴,也許我比別人更清楚。就這樣我覺(jué)得心安理得起來(lái),于是就認(rèn)為我和她結(jié)婚還是可能的。結(jié)果事情發(fā)生了,我們真的結(jié)了婚?!?/p>
“哈!”泰克爾頓意味深長(zhǎng)地?fù)u了一下頭,說(shuō)。
“我考察過(guò)自己,我也有過(guò)親身的體驗(yàn),我明白自己是多么深情地愛(ài)著她,也知道我將會(huì)多么幸福,”運(yùn)貨夫繼續(xù)說(shuō),“可是我就是沒(méi)有——我現(xiàn)在才覺(jué)察到這個(gè)——沒(méi)有充分地考慮過(guò)她這方面?!?/p>
“你的確是沒(méi)有啊,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“輕浮成性,操守不堅(jiān),水性楊花,喜歡人家阿諛?lè)畛?!你就是沒(méi)有考慮到!這一切你都沒(méi)有看見(jiàn)!哈!”
“你最好別插嘴,”運(yùn)貨夫帶著幾分嚴(yán)厲說(shuō),“你先要明白我的意見(jiàn)才是,這你還差得遠(yuǎn)呢。如果說(shuō),昨天對(duì)一個(gè)膽敢說(shuō)她一個(gè)字的壞話的人,我會(huì)一拳把他打倒的話,那么,今天,即使他是我的兄弟,我也要用腳踹他的臉!”
玩具商驚愕地睜大眼睛望著他。他繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去,語(yǔ)氣比較溫和了一些。
“當(dāng)初我有沒(méi)有考慮到,”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“我娶她的時(shí)候,她才那么一點(diǎn)年紀(jì),又那么美麗,就使她離開她的年輕伙伴們,離開那些讓她在那兒增添光彩的許多場(chǎng)合。她在那些場(chǎng)合宛如一顆夜空中曾經(jīng)閃爍過(guò)的最明亮的小星星,而我卻使她成為我這個(gè)乏味的人的伴侶,一天又一天地關(guān)在我這個(gè)沉悶的家里,當(dāng)初,我有沒(méi)有考慮到這一切呢?我有沒(méi)有考慮到對(duì)于像她那樣脾氣爽快的人來(lái)說(shuō),我是多么不適宜呢?像她那樣活潑伶俐的人,跟像我這樣拖拖拉拉的人在一起,是多么令人討厭呢?我有沒(méi)有考慮到在凡是知道她的人都一定會(huì)愛(ài)她的這種情況之下,我一無(wú)長(zhǎng)處使自己配得上去愛(ài)她,也沒(méi)有權(quán)利去愛(ài)她呢?我從來(lái)沒(méi)有考慮到??!我卻利用了她那樂(lè)觀的性格和她那快活的性情,于是我娶了她。我要是沒(méi)有娶她就好啦!就是為了她,并非為我自己!”
玩具商眼睛一眨也不眨地盯著他瞧。這會(huì)兒,連他那只半閉的眼睛也大大地睜開著。
“愿上帝賜福給她!”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“因?yàn)樗敲撮L(zhǎng)久以來(lái)一直顯得快快活活的,為的是要瞞住我這一點(diǎn)!上帝可憐我吧,我的腦子這么遲鈍,以前竟然沒(méi)有發(fā)覺(jué)這一切!可憐的人兒!可憐的小不點(diǎn)兒!當(dāng)人們談到像我們這樣的婚姻的時(shí)候,我見(jiàn)過(guò)她熱淚盈眶,而我竟然沒(méi)有發(fā)覺(jué)這一切!我也見(jiàn)過(guò)她的嘴唇暗暗地顫抖過(guò)無(wú)數(shù)次,而我竟然在昨晚之前從來(lái)沒(méi)有懷疑過(guò)這一切!可憐的女孩子啊!我竟然希望她會(huì)愛(ài)我!我竟然相信她愛(ài)我!”
“她表現(xiàn)出愛(ài)你的樣子,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“老實(shí)告訴你吧,就因?yàn)樗憩F(xiàn)得過(guò)了分,才引起我的疑惑哩?!?/p>
說(shuō)到這兒,他就果斷地提及梅·費(fèi)爾丁的卓越之處,說(shuō)她根本就沒(méi)有表現(xiàn)出愛(ài)他的樣子。
“她曾經(jīng)盡力而為,”可憐的運(yùn)貨夫的情緒比剛才一直顯露出來(lái)的更為激動(dòng)了,“到現(xiàn)在我才明白過(guò)來(lái),她盡了多大的努力來(lái)做我的賢惠而熱誠(chéng)的妻子。她一向是那么善良,她做了那么多的事情,她有一顆多么勇敢、多么堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的心哪!讓我在這個(gè)屋子里所享受過(guò)的幸福來(lái)做證吧!等到我孤零零地待在這兒的時(shí)候,我所享受過(guò)的幸福會(huì)于我有益,會(huì)給我安慰的。”
“孤零零地待在這兒?”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“那么對(duì)于這件事你是打算認(rèn)真處理的了?”
“我是打算,”運(yùn)貨夫答道,“盡我最大的力量和最大的熱誠(chéng)幫助她,讓她得到最好的補(bǔ)償。我能夠把她從不匹配的婚姻所造成的痛苦之中,和拼命隱瞞著這一痛苦的掙扎之中,解救出來(lái)。她將獲得盡我所能使她得到的最大的自由?!?/p>
“讓她得到補(bǔ)償!”泰克爾頓喊了起來(lái),伸手把自己的兩只大耳朵扭過(guò)來(lái)又翻過(guò)去,“這里一定出過(guò)什么事了。當(dāng)然,你沒(méi)有提起這件事。”
運(yùn)貨夫一把抓住玩具商的領(lǐng)口,把他搖得像一根風(fēng)中的蘆葦一般。
“聽(tīng)著!”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“留神別把我的話聽(tīng)錯(cuò)了。聽(tīng)著。我說(shuō)得清楚嗎?”
“確實(shí)很清楚?!碧┛藸栴D回答道。
“和我的本意一樣嗎?”
“和你的本意完全一樣。”
“昨天晚上我在爐邊坐了整整一夜,”運(yùn)貨夫大聲說(shuō)道,“就坐在那個(gè)她時(shí)常坐在我旁邊、轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)她那甜蜜的臉蛋兒盯著我瞧的地方。我想起了她日常的全部生活??蓯?ài)的她本人的一舉一動(dòng)都在我眼前再次顯現(xiàn)。的的確確,她是無(wú)罪的——假如有神來(lái)判斷有罪還是沒(méi)有罪的話!”
啊,堅(jiān)貞的爐邊蟋蟀!忠心耿耿的家宅之神!
“激動(dòng)和疑惑已經(jīng)離開我了!”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“除了憂傷,我的心中再也沒(méi)有什么了。在一個(gè)不幸的時(shí)刻,有一個(gè)昔日的情人回來(lái)了。不論按她的愛(ài)好或年齡來(lái)說(shuō),這個(gè)人都比我合適,而當(dāng)初也許是為了我,她不情愿地把他拋棄了。在一個(gè)不幸的時(shí)刻,她突然遇到這件意外的事情,還沒(méi)來(lái)得及思考一下自己干了什么,就把那件事隱瞞起來(lái),成了那人的奸計(jì)的同謀者。昨天晚上,我們目睹了她去和他幽會(huì)。那當(dāng)然是錯(cuò)的。可是除此之外,她是無(wú)罪的——如果世界上有真理的話!”
“如果你的意見(jiàn)是這樣——”泰克爾頓開始說(shuō)話了。
“因此就讓她去吧!”運(yùn)貨夫接著說(shuō),“帶著我的祝福和寬恕去吧!為了她給我的那么多快樂(lè)的時(shí)光,我祝福她;不管她曾經(jīng)使我怎樣痛苦,我都寬恕她。讓她去吧,而且像我所希望的,心境安寧!她將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)恨我。等到我不再是她的累贅,她感到我系在她身上的那條鏈子放松了一點(diǎn)的時(shí)候,她就會(huì)漸漸地更喜歡我了。今天正是我那么不考慮她的幸福就從她的家里把她娶了來(lái)的日子。今天她將回到自己家里去,我不再把她纏住了。她的父親和母親今天會(huì)到這兒來(lái)——我們有一個(gè)大家一塊兒過(guò)這一天的小小的計(jì)劃——我要請(qǐng)他們把她領(lǐng)回去。在那兒也好,在不論什么地方也好,我都信得過(guò)她。她離開我的時(shí)候無(wú)可指責(zé),我相信她也將會(huì)無(wú)可指責(zé)地生活下去。萬(wàn)一我死了——也許當(dāng)她還年輕的時(shí)候,我就會(huì)死去;要知道,才這幾小時(shí)我已經(jīng)有些喪失勇氣了——她將會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我一直記著她,愛(ài)著她,直到咽氣!這就是你昨天晚上讓我看到的那件事情的結(jié)局?,F(xiàn)在已經(jīng)結(jié)束了!”
“啊,不,約翰,并沒(méi)有結(jié)束。別說(shuō)已經(jīng)結(jié)束了!還沒(méi)有結(jié)束哩。我已經(jīng)聽(tīng)見(jiàn)你的一番高尚的話語(yǔ)了。我不能就這么溜走,假裝不理會(huì)那些打動(dòng)了我的心的話,對(duì)此我是非常感激的。在時(shí)鐘還沒(méi)有再敲響之前,別說(shuō)已經(jīng)結(jié)束了吧!”
剛才在泰克爾頓走進(jìn)屋子不久,運(yùn)貨夫的妻子也走了進(jìn)來(lái),而且始終留在屋子里。她一眼也沒(méi)有看泰克爾頓,卻老是盯著她的丈夫瞧??墒撬齾s不走近他,在他們中間盡可能保持著一段距離。雖然他說(shuō)話的時(shí)候那片真誠(chéng)感人至深,但是即使在那個(gè)時(shí)候,她也沒(méi)有走近他。這和過(guò)去的她多么不同??!
“沒(méi)有一個(gè)人能夠制造一座時(shí)鐘來(lái)為我敲出已經(jīng)逝去的時(shí)光了,”運(yùn)貨夫苦笑著回答,“就讓這件事這么辦了吧,親愛(ài)的。時(shí)鐘馬上就要敲響了。我們說(shuō)些什么,那是無(wú)關(guān)緊要的。對(duì)于比這更難處理的事情,我會(huì)盡力辦得合你的心意?!?/p>
“好吧!”泰克爾頓喃喃地說(shuō),“我得走了,因?yàn)闀r(shí)鐘再敲響的時(shí)候,我就得動(dòng)身去教堂了。再見(jiàn),約翰·皮瑞賓格爾。你不能光臨,我真感到遺憾。對(duì)于這個(gè)損失和造成這個(gè)損失的那件事,我都感到遺憾極了!”
“我的話說(shuō)得可明白嗎?”運(yùn)貨夫問(wèn)道,一邊送他到門口。
“啊,很明白!”
“你會(huì)記得我所說(shuō)的話嗎?”
“唔,如果你逼著我留意的話,我會(huì)記得的,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),這時(shí)候他已經(jīng)小心翼翼地上了馬車,“不過(guò)我得說(shuō),那確實(shí)太出乎我的意料了,所以我是不大可能忘記的?!?/p>
“這將對(duì)我們倆都有好處,”運(yùn)貨夫回答道,“再見(jiàn)!我祝你快樂(lè)!”
“我要是也能祝你快樂(lè)就好了,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“可惜我不能;謝謝你。讓我對(duì)你說(shuō)句體己的話兒,(像我先前跟你說(shuō)的那樣,嗯?)我想我婚后的生活不會(huì)不快樂(lè)的,因?yàn)槊芬幌驅(qū)ξ也皇枪茴^管腳的,也不是感情外露的。再見(jiàn)了!保重身體呀!”
運(yùn)貨夫站在那兒目送著他,直到遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)望過(guò)去,泰克爾頓的身子比他近旁的馬頭上的花朵和彩球還要?。挥谑沁\(yùn)貨夫長(zhǎng)嘆了一聲,走到附近的榆樹林中,像一個(gè)心亂如麻、垂頭喪氣的人那樣徘徊著,不愿意回到屋子里去,直到時(shí)鐘快要敲響的時(shí)候。
他那個(gè)小妻子被孤孤單單地撇在屋子里,凄慘地哽咽著;不過(guò)她不時(shí)擦干眼淚,克制著自己,說(shuō)他多么好,說(shuō)他好到了極點(diǎn)!有一兩次她還笑了,笑得那么歡暢,那么得意揚(yáng)揚(yáng),又那么斷斷續(xù)續(xù)的(一邊始終在哭著),這可把蒂蕾嚇壞了。
“噢,請(qǐng)你別這樣!”蒂蕾說(shuō),“這樣要把寶寶嚇?biāo)?,葬送掉的,所以?qǐng)你不要這樣!”
“蒂蕾,今后你愿意有時(shí)候帶他來(lái)看看他的爸爸嗎?”她的女主人揩著眼淚問(wèn)道,“我不能住在這兒了,必須回到老家去了?!?/p>
“噢,請(qǐng)你別這樣!”蒂蕾叫嚷著,頭朝后一仰,突然號(hào)哭起來(lái),這會(huì)兒她的模樣非常像拳擊手,“噢,請(qǐng)你別這樣!噢,哪個(gè)人家呀,那么隨隨便便跟人家斷絕了關(guān)系,把別人家害得這么慘呀?噢!嗚——嗚——嗚!”
就在這時(shí)候,軟心腸的施羅博埃把聲音拖成那么悲慘的號(hào)叫,由于長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的抑制,這一發(fā)作也就格外猛烈了,要不是她一眼瞥見(jiàn)凱萊布·普盧默領(lǐng)著他的女兒走進(jìn)屋子里來(lái),必定會(huì)把寶寶吵醒,并且把他嚇成重?。赡軙?huì)發(fā)驚風(fēng)?。?。她看見(jiàn)凱萊布·普盧默父女倆走進(jìn)屋子里來(lái),也就恢復(fù)了應(yīng)該顧全禮節(jié)的感覺(jué),她有那么一會(huì)兒工夫一聲不吭地站著,嘴巴張得大大的,接著飛快地跑到孩子正酣睡著的那張床旁,就像跳圣維特斯舞的病人那樣奇怪地在地板上跳起舞來(lái),同時(shí)又把臉和頭都塞進(jìn)被褥中亂攪一陣,顯然想從這些離奇的動(dòng)作中得到莫大的慰藉。
“瑪麗!”蓓莎說(shuō),“沒(méi)有去參加婚禮!”
“我告訴她說(shuō)你不會(huì)到那兒去的,太太,”凱萊布?jí)旱土松ひ粽f(shuō),“昨天晚上我就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)了許多話。不過(guò)愿上帝保佑你,”那個(gè)小個(gè)子親切地握著小不點(diǎn)兒的雙手說(shuō),“我可不管他們講些什么,我不相信他們。我并沒(méi)有什么了不起的地方,可是只要我一相信人家說(shuō)你的一句壞話,我所僅有的那么一丁點(diǎn)兒的長(zhǎng)處也就應(yīng)該給撕個(gè)粉碎了!”
他的雙臂摟住她的脖子,擁抱了她,像一個(gè)孩子擁抱他自己的洋娃娃那樣。
“蓓莎今天早上不能待在家里,”凱萊布說(shuō),“我知道她是怕聽(tīng)見(jiàn)教堂的鐘聲。在他們結(jié)婚的日子里,她離他們那么近,她完全沒(méi)有把握自己會(huì)怎么樣。因此我們就按時(shí)出發(fā),來(lái)到了這兒。我一直在想自己做過(guò)的一些事,”凱萊布頓了一下又說(shuō),“我一直在責(zé)備自己給她造成了痛苦,我難過(guò)得簡(jiǎn)直不知道該怎么辦,簡(jiǎn)直走投無(wú)路了;終于我決定,太太,如果你愿意和我站在一起,我最好就趁這個(gè)時(shí)候把事情的真相告訴她。我這樣做的時(shí)候,你愿意和我站在一起嗎?”他問(wèn)道,渾身上下直發(fā)抖,“我不知道可能會(huì)給她帶來(lái)什么影響,我不知道她對(duì)我將會(huì)有什么想法,我不知道以后她還會(huì)不會(huì)再關(guān)心她可憐的爸爸了,但是她最好別再受騙了,因此我必須承受我所應(yīng)該承受的后果!”
“瑪麗,”蓓莎說(shuō),“你的手在哪兒???!在這兒,在這兒!”她微笑著把瑪麗的手壓在自己的嘴唇上,然后又拉過(guò)來(lái)穿過(guò)自己的胳臂,“昨天晚上他們竊竊私語(yǔ),談?wù)撝愕氖裁催^(guò)錯(cuò)。他們錯(cuò)了?!?/p>
運(yùn)貨夫的妻子默不作聲。凱萊布代她回答了。
“他們錯(cuò)了。”他說(shuō)。
“我早就知道他們是錯(cuò)的!”蓓莎得意地大聲說(shuō),“我也就那么告訴了他們。那些話一句也不屑去聽(tīng)!那樣責(zé)怪她,根本就不公平!”說(shuō)著,她雙手緊緊握住瑪麗的手,把自己柔軟的面頰貼在瑪麗的臉上,“不!我的眼睛可沒(méi)有瞎成那樣。”
蓓莎的父親走到她的那一邊,這時(shí),小不點(diǎn)兒仍舊待在蓓莎的身旁,握著她的一只手。
“對(duì)于你們大家,”蓓莎說(shuō),“我都了解得比你們所想象的更清楚。但是我對(duì)她是了解得最清楚的了。爸爸,甚至對(duì)于你,我都沒(méi)有了解得像了解她那么清楚。在我的周圍沒(méi)有一個(gè)人及得上她一半的真實(shí)和真誠(chéng)。如果就在這一刻,我能夠恢復(fù)視力,不等她說(shuō)一句話,我就能從一群人當(dāng)中認(rèn)出她來(lái)的!她簡(jiǎn)直是我的親姐姐!”
“蓓莎,我親愛(ài)的!”凱萊布說(shuō),“我心里有些話要告訴你,趁這會(huì)兒只有我們?nèi)齻€(gè)人,請(qǐng)你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)吧!我要向你作個(gè)表白,我的寶貝?!?/p>
“表白,爸爸?”
“我曾經(jīng)離開誠(chéng)實(shí),以致迷了路,我的孩子,”他面有難色,神情怪可憐地說(shuō),“我曾經(jīng)離開誠(chéng)實(shí),一心想要對(duì)你好,可是卻成了對(duì)你的殘酷?!?/p>
她向他轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉來(lái),臉上滿是詫異之極的神情,也跟著說(shuō):“殘酷!”
“他把自己責(zé)備得太狠了,蓓莎,”小不點(diǎn)兒說(shuō),“要不了多久你就會(huì)這么說(shuō)的。你將是頭一個(gè)對(duì)他這么說(shuō)的人?!?/p>
“他對(duì)我殘酷!”蓓莎大聲說(shuō),疑惑地微笑著。
“我并不是存心要那樣,我的孩子,”凱萊布說(shuō),“可是我過(guò)去確實(shí)是殘酷的,盡管在昨天之前,我自己從來(lái)沒(méi)有懷疑過(guò)這個(gè)情況。我親愛(ài)的瞎眼的女兒,聽(tīng)我說(shuō),并且寬恕我吧!我的心肝呀,你居住的這個(gè)世界并不像我對(duì)你所描述的那樣存在著。你一向信任的那雙眼睛欺騙了你?!?/p>
她那張?jiān)尞愔畼O的臉仍舊朝著他,但是她向后退縮,把她的朋友抱得更緊了。
“你在世間的道路是崎嶇不平的,我可憐的孩子,”凱萊布說(shuō),“我以前有意為你把它鋪平。為了使你快樂(lè)一些,我把各種東西都改頭換面,把人們的性格也都說(shuō)成了另一個(gè)樣兒,還捏造了種種從來(lái)就不曾有過(guò)的事情。我隱瞞了你,欺騙了你,求上帝寬恕我!我把你置于幻想之中了。”
“可是活著的人并不是幻想出來(lái)的吧?”她急忙說(shuō)道,頓時(shí)臉色變得非常蒼白,依然遠(yuǎn)避著他,“你改變不了他們?!?/p>
“我是把他們改變了,蓓莎,”凱萊布爭(zhēng)辯著說(shuō),“有一個(gè)你所曉得的人,我的寶貝——”
“啊,爸爸!你為什么說(shuō)是我所曉得的?”她用強(qiáng)烈責(zé)備的口氣回答,“我又曉得什么東西,曉得什么人呀!我根本是個(gè)沒(méi)有人指導(dǎo)的人!我又瞎得這么可憐!”
她內(nèi)心痛苦得莫可名狀,于是驀地伸出了雙手,好像在摸索去路似的,接著帶著極度絕望凄慘的神情,雙手一攤,掩住了臉。
“今天所舉行的那場(chǎng)婚禮,”凱萊布說(shuō),“男方是一個(gè)冷酷、卑鄙而又刻薄的人。許多年來(lái),他是你我的苛刻的老板。他外貌丑陋,性格別扭,總是冷冰冰的,毫無(wú)人情味兒。他并不像我在所有的事情上向你所描繪的那樣,我的孩子。在所有的事情上他都不是那樣啊。”
“唉,為什么,”瞎眼的女孩子喊道,她似乎已經(jīng)痛苦得支撐不住了,“你又為什么這么做呀?你究竟為什么要把我的心填得滿滿的,然后又像個(gè)死神一樣走了進(jìn)來(lái),把我所心愛(ài)的對(duì)象統(tǒng)統(tǒng)撕碎?啊,天哪,我的眼睛可瞎極啦!我無(wú)依無(wú)靠,我多么孤單呀!”
她的哀傷的父親垂下了頭,一言不發(fā),沉浸在悔恨和悲痛之中。
她陷入這種失望的情緒之中不到一會(huì)兒工夫,爐邊那只蟋蟀就開始啾啾啾地唱起來(lái)了,不過(guò)除了她沒(méi)有人聽(tīng)得見(jiàn)。那只蟋蟀并不是歡快地唱著,而是用低沉無(wú)力的悲痛的聲音唱著。那聲音哀傷得令人鼻酸,她的淚水禁不住簌簌而下。那個(gè)曾經(jīng)一整夜站在運(yùn)貨夫身邊的精靈在她背后出現(xiàn)了,并且抬起了手,指著她的父親,這時(shí)候,她的眼淚就像雨一般地灑下來(lái)了。
不久她更清楚地聽(tīng)到蟋蟀的聲音了。在她瞎眼的情形下,她感覺(jué)到那精靈在她父親的身邊徘徊著。
“瑪麗,”瞎眼的女孩兒說(shuō),“請(qǐng)你告訴我,我的家是什么樣子的。它真正是什么樣子的?!?/p>
“它是很差的一個(gè)地方,蓓莎;實(shí)在很寒酸,一貧如洗。到來(lái)年冬天,恐怕那房子就要擋不住風(fēng)雨了?!毙〔稽c(diǎn)兒繼續(xù)用一種低沉而清晰的聲音說(shuō),“它現(xiàn)在只能勉強(qiáng)遮蔽風(fēng)雨,就像你可憐的爸爸穿的那件粗麻布大衣也只能勉強(qiáng)御寒一樣?!?/p>
瞎眼的女孩兒大大激動(dòng)起來(lái),站起身來(lái)把運(yùn)貨夫的小妻子拉到了一邊。
“我那么小心照看著的那些禮物,差不多都是隨著我的愿望一一出現(xiàn),受到我那么熱切的歡迎,”她顫抖著說(shuō),“它們從哪兒來(lái)的?是你送的嗎?”
“不是。”
“那么是誰(shuí)送的呢?”
小不點(diǎn)兒看出她已經(jīng)明白了,也就保持著沉默。瞎眼女孩兒又張開雙手舉在面前,不過(guò)這會(huì)兒她的態(tài)度與之前迥然不同了。
“親愛(ài)的瑪麗,等一等。等一等!再過(guò)來(lái)一點(diǎn)兒。輕聲告訴我。我知道你是誠(chéng)實(shí)的。你現(xiàn)在不會(huì)欺騙我的,是嗎?”
“不會(huì)的,蓓莎,真的不會(huì)!”
“是的,我相信你不會(huì)。你實(shí)在可憐我。瑪麗,請(qǐng)你朝屋子的那一頭看看,就是我們剛才待的那地方,我的爸爸現(xiàn)在在那兒——那個(gè)那么體恤我、那么疼我的爸爸——請(qǐng)你告訴我你看見(jiàn)了什么。”
“我看見(jiàn),”小不點(diǎn)兒是很了解她的,說(shuō)道,“一位老人家坐在椅子上,憂傷地靠著椅背,一只手支著臉。好像他的孩子應(yīng)該去勸慰他似的,蓓莎?!?/p>
“對(duì)啊,對(duì)?。∷且サ?。請(qǐng)講下去吧?!?/p>
“他已經(jīng)有一大把年紀(jì)了,被憂慮和操勞折磨得衰弱不堪。他是個(gè)瘦小干枯、郁郁寡歡、憂心忡忡的白發(fā)老人。我這會(huì)兒看見(jiàn)他意氣消沉地垂下頭來(lái),顯出毫無(wú)斗志的神態(tài)??墒牵砩?,我過(guò)去見(jiàn)過(guò)他許多次,為了一個(gè)偉大的神圣的目的,他千方百計(jì)、歷盡艱辛地奮斗著。因此我敬重他的蒼蒼白發(fā),并且祈求上帝祝福他!”
瞎眼女孩兒突然從她的身旁跑開,撲到她的父親面前跪下來(lái),把那白發(fā)蒼蒼的頭抱在她的懷中。
“我的視力恢復(fù)了。這就是我的視力!”她叫喊道,“以前我是瞎的,現(xiàn)在我的眼睛睜開啦。我從來(lái)就不曾了解他!想想看,我本來(lái)有可能到死都沒(méi)有真正看見(jiàn)始終那么疼愛(ài)我的爸爸,這會(huì)叫人多么傷心啊!”
凱萊布這時(shí)候的情緒是難以言喻的。
“在這個(gè)世界上,”瞎眼女孩兒擁抱著他嚷著,“沒(méi)有一個(gè)高貴的人我會(huì)愛(ài)得像愛(ài)這個(gè)人這么深,這么虔誠(chéng)地珍愛(ài)!爸爸啊,你的頭發(fā)越白,你越衰老,你就越可愛(ài)!人們永遠(yuǎn)別再說(shuō)我瞎眼了。在我向上帝禱告和感恩的時(shí)候,沒(méi)有一道你臉上的皺紋和一根你頭上的頭發(fā)我會(huì)忘記!”
凱萊布好不容易才說(shuō)出話來(lái):“我的蓓莎!”
“因?yàn)槲业难劬床灰?jiàn),”女孩兒深受感動(dòng),淌下了眼淚,愛(ài)撫著她的父親,說(shuō)道,“以前我完全以為他不是這樣的!他一天又一天地守在我的身邊,總是無(wú)微不至地照料著我,我卻做夢(mèng)也沒(méi)想到他原來(lái)是這樣的!”
“那個(gè)穿藍(lán)色外衣、精神抖擻、氣度瀟灑的爸爸,蓓莎啊,”可憐的凱萊布說(shuō),“他已經(jīng)不存在了。”
“沒(méi)有一樣?xùn)|西不存在了,”她回答說(shuō),“最親愛(ài)的爸爸,沒(méi)有呀!所有的東西都在這兒——在你這里!在我深深愛(ài)著的,我從來(lái)就沒(méi)有愛(ài)得夠深的,也從來(lái)沒(méi)有了解的爸爸這里;在起初因?yàn)樗钋型槲?,所以我敬?ài)他的這位恩人這里;一切的一切都在這兒,在你這里呀!對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō),沒(méi)有一樣已經(jīng)消逝。我所感到的最最可貴的那一切的靈魂就在這兒——和這張衰老的臉、蒼蒼的白發(fā)在一起。我呀,我不再是瞎眼的了,爸爸!”
當(dāng)父女倆這樣談著的時(shí)候,小不點(diǎn)兒全神貫注地看著他們。這會(huì)兒她朝摩爾式宮殿前草場(chǎng)上的制作干草小人兒望去,這才看見(jiàn)在幾分鐘之內(nèi)那座時(shí)鐘就要敲響了,她立即陷入焦灼和興奮的狀態(tài)中。
“爸爸,”蓓莎支支吾吾地說(shuō),“瑪麗。”
“哎,親愛(ài)的,”凱萊布答道,“她在這兒呢。”
“我相信,她沒(méi)有什么改變。關(guān)于她,你從來(lái)沒(méi)有告訴我什么不真實(shí)的事情吧?”
“如果我能把她說(shuō)得比她的實(shí)際情況更好的話,”凱萊布回答說(shuō),“親愛(ài)的,恐怕過(guò)去我也會(huì)這樣做的??墒蔷褪前阉拿婺恳瞾?lái)個(gè)改變,那我一定會(huì)把她改壞了的。因?yàn)樵趺凑f(shuō)也不能把她說(shuō)得更好了,蓓莎?!?/p>
雖然剛才瞎眼女孩兒提出這個(gè)問(wèn)題的時(shí)候,是很自信的,可是她聽(tīng)到這樣的回答,那種欣喜雀躍的神情,又一次把小不點(diǎn)兒緊緊抱在懷中的模樣,這情景確實(shí)是迷人的。
“可是也許會(huì)有比你所能想到的更多的變化要發(fā)生哩,親愛(ài)的。”小不點(diǎn)兒說(shuō),“我指的是向好的方面的變化,變化得使我們中間有些人得到極大的快樂(lè)。要是像這樣的變化果真發(fā)生的話,你一定不會(huì)因?yàn)槟切┦逻^(guò)于令人吃驚以致受到什么影響吧?——聽(tīng),那是路上的車輪聲嗎?蓓莎,你的耳朵靈敏。是車輪的聲音嗎?”
“不錯(cuò)。很快地朝這兒駛來(lái)呢?!?/p>
“我——我——我就曉得你的耳朵非常靈敏,”小不點(diǎn)兒說(shuō)著一邊把一只手按在胸口上,一邊盡快地繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去,顯然為的是不讓人覺(jué)察她那顆心撲撲地猛跳起來(lái),“因?yàn)槲页3W⒁獾竭@個(gè),也因?yàn)樽蛱焱砩夏隳敲纯炀吐?tīng)出那個(gè)生人的腳步聲。蓓莎,雖然我不懂當(dāng)時(shí)你為什么會(huì)問(wèn)‘那是誰(shuí)的腳步聲?’——我記得清清楚楚你是這么問(wèn)的——你又為什么對(duì)那個(gè)腳步聲比對(duì)其他任何人的腳步聲更為注意?雖然就像我剛才說(shuō)的那樣,在這個(gè)世界上會(huì)發(fā)生極大的變化,是極大的變化呀,我們還得有思想準(zhǔn)備,使自己幾乎不論對(duì)什么事情都不要太吃驚才好?!?/p>
凱萊布對(duì)這番話摸不著頭腦,他覺(jué)得小不點(diǎn)兒的話既是對(duì)他的女兒又是對(duì)他本人說(shuō)的。他大為詫異,因?yàn)樗匆?jiàn)她心慌意亂和焦慮得幾乎透不過(guò)氣來(lái),她還生怕自己會(huì)倒下去,緊緊抓住一把椅子支撐著。
“那的確是車輪聲!”她氣喘吁吁地說(shuō),“走近啦!更近啦!非常近啦!現(xiàn)在你們聽(tīng)得見(jiàn)他們已經(jīng)在花園門前停下了!現(xiàn)在你們聽(tīng)得見(jiàn)門外有腳步聲——和昨天晚上同樣的腳步聲,不是嗎?蓓莎!——現(xiàn)在,??!”
只見(jiàn)一個(gè)年輕人沖進(jìn)屋來(lái),摘下帽子,隨手往空中一扔,忽地沖到他們跟前,小不點(diǎn)兒快樂(lè)得情不自禁,大叫一聲,向凱萊布飛奔過(guò)去,伸出雙手蒙住了他的眼睛。
“辦好了?”小不點(diǎn)兒大聲問(wèn)道。
“辦好了!”
“辦得稱心?”
“稱心!”
“你可記得這個(gè)嗓音,親愛(ài)的凱萊布?你以前可聽(tīng)見(jiàn)過(guò)像這樣的嗓音嗎?”小不點(diǎn)兒叫喊著。
“如果我那個(gè)在遍地黃金的南美洲的孩子還活著的話——”凱萊布說(shuō)著渾身發(fā)抖起來(lái)。
“他還活著呀!”小不點(diǎn)兒尖聲叫喊道,同時(shí)把蒙住凱萊布雙眼的手放下來(lái),興奮地拍著手,“瞧他,瞧他就站在你跟前,又健康,又結(jié)實(shí)!你自己的寶貝親兒子!你的親愛(ài)的、還活著的、疼愛(ài)你的親哥哥,蓓莎!”
這個(gè)小人兒欣喜若狂,讓大家為此都向她致敬吧!看見(jiàn)他們父子(女)三人抱成一團(tuán)時(shí),她歡笑得直淌眼淚,讓大家為此都向她致敬吧!讓大家也向她那份歡迎那個(gè)水手的熱誠(chéng)致敬吧——她那玫瑰紅的嘴唇一點(diǎn)兒也沒(méi)有避開,聽(tīng)?wèi){那個(gè)飄揚(yáng)著從中間對(duì)分的頭發(fā)、皮膚曬得黝黑的水手盡情地吻它,并且把她緊壓在自己猛烈跳動(dòng)的胸口上!
讓大家也向那只杜鵑致敬吧——為什么不呢?——因?yàn)樗钕褚粋€(gè)強(qiáng)盜,倏地從摩爾式宮殿的活板門里探身而出,對(duì)著這一群聚集在一塊兒的人打了十二下嗝兒,好像它已經(jīng)陶醉在歡樂(lè)之中了。
這時(shí)候,運(yùn)貨夫從屋外進(jìn)來(lái),嚇得朝后退了一步,他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己來(lái)到了這么快樂(lè)的一群人中間,也難怪他要吃驚了。
“喂,約翰!”凱萊布眉飛色舞地說(shuō),“瞧這兒!從遍地黃金的南美洲回來(lái)的我的孩子!我的親生兒子!就是你幫助他配備一切又親自把他送走的那個(gè)人!就是你從前的那個(gè)好朋友!”
運(yùn)貨夫走上前去猛地抓住他的手,可是那人的一部分面貌使他想起馬車上那個(gè)聾老頭兒,他不禁退縮了一下,說(shuō):
“愛(ài)德華!昨天那個(gè)人就是你嗎?”
“現(xiàn)在把一切都告訴他吧!”小不點(diǎn)兒叫了起來(lái),“把一切都告訴他,愛(ài)德華!不必略過(guò)我,因?yàn)樵谒难劬铮僖膊粫?huì)有什么事需要我饒恕我自己的了。”
“那個(gè)人就是我。”愛(ài)德華說(shuō)。
“那么你竟然化了裝,偷偷混進(jìn)你老朋友的家?從前那個(gè)光明磊落的小伙子——?jiǎng)P萊布,那是多少年以前的事了啊,我們聽(tīng)說(shuō)他已經(jīng)死了,我們還認(rèn)為已經(jīng)證實(shí)了?——那個(gè)小伙子是決不會(huì)干這種勾當(dāng)?shù)??!?/p>
“我從前有一個(gè)氣度寬大的朋友,他對(duì)于我與其說(shuō)是朋友,倒更像是父親,”愛(ài)德華說(shuō),“他決不會(huì)不聽(tīng)分辯就對(duì)我或?qū)θ魏纹渌松米韵屡袛唷D阏悄欠N人。因此我相信現(xiàn)在你會(huì)聽(tīng)我講的?!?/p>
運(yùn)貨夫不安地朝仍然遠(yuǎn)避著他的小不點(diǎn)兒望了一眼,然后回答:“好!這倒也公平。我聽(tīng)你講?!?/p>
“你該知道的,我離開這兒時(shí)還年輕,”愛(ài)德華說(shuō),“那時(shí)我已經(jīng)愛(ài)上了一個(gè)姑娘,她也愛(ài)我。當(dāng)時(shí)她很年輕,也許對(duì)自己的心思還不清楚——你可能會(huì)對(duì)我這么說(shuō),可是當(dāng)時(shí)我對(duì)自己的心思就是很清楚的,當(dāng)時(shí)我就是深深地愛(ài)她的?!?/p>
“你當(dāng)時(shí)就是那樣!”運(yùn)貨夫喊道,“你!”
“我的確是那樣,”對(duì)方回答說(shuō),“而且她也愛(ài)我。我始終相信她當(dāng)時(shí)是愛(ài)我的,而現(xiàn)在我確實(shí)知道她是那樣?!?/p>
“我的天哪!”運(yùn)貨夫說(shuō),“這可比什么都糟!”
“我對(duì)她始終忠貞不渝,”愛(ài)德華說(shuō),“我歷盡艱辛,滿懷著熱望回來(lái)履行我們舊日的婚約,不料在二十英里以外的路上,我聽(tīng)說(shuō)她已經(jīng)辜負(fù)了我,她已經(jīng)把我忘掉了,已經(jīng)把自己許配給了別人,是一個(gè)比我富有的人。我一點(diǎn)也不想責(zé)備她;可是我希望看一看她,并且證實(shí)一下是否確有其事。我希望她是被迫這么做的,是違背自己的心愿并且無(wú)力反抗的。那樣,對(duì)我只是一個(gè)很小的安慰,但是我認(rèn)為到底還是可以得到一些安慰,因此我就來(lái)了。為了便于了解實(shí)情,了解確確實(shí)實(shí)的實(shí)情;為了便于我親自無(wú)拘無(wú)束地觀察,由我自己來(lái)判斷,同時(shí)也為了即使我自己不會(huì)遇到任何妨礙,又不至于因?yàn)槲业穆睹娑鴮?duì)她產(chǎn)生影響——假如我對(duì)她還有任何影響的話,于是我把自己打扮得完全變了個(gè)樣兒——你知道是個(gè)什么樣兒的;然后在路上等著——你知道是在哪兒。你對(duì)我一點(diǎn)也不懷疑,她——她也不懷疑,”他向小不點(diǎn)兒指了一下,“直到在那個(gè)壁爐旁我悄悄地對(duì)她耳語(yǔ),她才知道是我,當(dāng)時(shí)她只差一點(diǎn)兒就把我暴露了。”
“可是她知道愛(ài)德華并沒(méi)有死,他已經(jīng)回來(lái)了,”小不點(diǎn)兒啜泣著,這會(huì)兒她為自己說(shuō)話了,在愛(ài)德華敘述的整個(gè)過(guò)程中,她一直急于開口,“并且知道了他的目的以后,就勸他對(duì)這事必須嚴(yán)守秘密;因?yàn)樗睦吓笥鸭s翰·皮瑞賓格爾的性格過(guò)于坦率,對(duì)于耍手段一竅不通,”說(shuō)到這里,小不點(diǎn)兒半笑半哭地說(shuō),“他實(shí)在太不靈敏了,是難以叫他保守秘密的。于是她——那就是我,約翰——”那個(gè)小女人哽咽著說(shuō),“把一切都告訴了愛(ài)德華,說(shuō)他的情人怎樣相信他已經(jīng)死了,又怎樣最終在她的母親死命地勸說(shuō)下答應(yīng)了那個(gè)老糊涂所說(shuō)的上好的親事。接著她——那還是我,約翰——又告訴他說(shuō),他們還沒(méi)有結(jié)婚,但是快了。又說(shuō)如果他們結(jié)婚,那么對(duì)梅來(lái)說(shuō),完全是個(gè)犧牲,因?yàn)樵谒@方面是沒(méi)有愛(ài)情的;他聽(tīng)到這番話以后,快樂(lè)得幾乎發(fā)狂了;于是她——那還是我——說(shuō)她愿意像從前那樣為他們奔走,約翰,試探一下他的情人,以便確定她自己——還是我,約翰——所說(shuō)和所想的究竟對(duì)不對(duì)。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)完全正確,約翰!而且,約翰啊,他們?cè)谝恍r(shí)以前已經(jīng)結(jié)了婚!瞧,新娘在這兒!而格拉夫和泰克爾頓這下子可能要當(dāng)一輩子光棍了!我可是個(gè)幸福的小女人,梅,愿上帝祝福你!”
小不點(diǎn)兒原本就是一個(gè)叫人沒(méi)法不喜歡的小女人,如果這么說(shuō)是中肯的話,那么她目前狂喜的模樣兒簡(jiǎn)直逗人喜歡到前所未有的程度了。也從來(lái)沒(méi)有一種祝賀像她慷慨地給予她自己和那個(gè)新娘的那么惹人喜愛(ài),使人歡樂(lè)的了。
老實(shí)的運(yùn)貨夫,心潮澎湃,已經(jīng)在那兒站了半晌,手足無(wú)措。這時(shí)候他向小不點(diǎn)兒飛奔過(guò)去,她伸出手來(lái)阻擋他,像以前一樣退縮和回避著他。
“不,約翰,別過(guò)來(lái)!聽(tīng)我講完!在我還沒(méi)說(shuō)完每一句我必須講的話之前,別再愛(ài)我了。我有一個(gè)秘密瞞著你,這是不對(duì)的,約翰,我真對(duì)不起你。在昨天晚上我走來(lái)挨著你坐在小凳子上之前,我沒(méi)有想到那樣做有什么害處;可是我見(jiàn)到你臉上那么明顯的表情以后,我知道你看見(jiàn)了我和愛(ài)德華在走廊上散步,也明白了你想些什么;那時(shí)候我才感到我那樣做是多么輕率,多么不對(duì)。但是,哦,親愛(ài)的約翰啊,你怎么竟然——竟然有那樣的想法?。 ?/p>
這個(gè)小女人又傷心透了,抽抽噎噎地哭起來(lái)。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾差點(diǎn)兒就把她抱在懷中了??墒遣怀桑?yàn)樗蛔屗А?/p>
“請(qǐng)你且慢愛(ài)我,約翰!你還得等好長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間呢!當(dāng)初我為那門已經(jīng)訂下的婚事感到難過(guò),那是因?yàn)槲蚁肫鹆嗣泛蛺?ài)德華是那么年輕的一對(duì)情人,我也知道梅的心是遠(yuǎn)離著泰克爾頓的?,F(xiàn)在你相信這一切了吧。是不是,約翰?”
約翰大為感動(dòng),又要朝小不點(diǎn)兒沖過(guò)去,可是又被她攔住了。
“不,請(qǐng)你待在那兒,約翰!我笑你——約翰,我有時(shí)候就愛(ài)笑你;叫你又呆又可愛(ài)的老傻瓜,以及其他類似的名稱,這是因?yàn)槲姨珢?ài)你了,約翰;我那么喜歡你種種的樣子;即使你明天讓人推選出來(lái)當(dāng)國(guó)王,我也不愿意看見(jiàn)你在任何方面有一點(diǎn)兒變化?!?/p>
“好哇!”凱萊布異常有力地說(shuō)道,“這也正是我的意見(jiàn)!”
“還有,我平時(shí)提到老實(shí)穩(wěn)健的中年人,約翰,我假裝我們是一對(duì)索然無(wú)味的老夫妻,過(guò)著單調(diào)呆板的生活,那只是因?yàn)槲沂莻€(gè)那么愚蠢的小東西,約翰,有時(shí)候我就喜歡跟我們的小寶寶鬧著玩兒,演演戲啦什么的——就是那么裝模作樣的,毫無(wú)其他什么意思?!?/p>
看見(jiàn)運(yùn)貨夫又走過(guò)來(lái),她又阻止了他。可是這一次她幾乎沒(méi)有來(lái)得及攔住他。
“不,別愛(ài)我,請(qǐng)你再等一兩分鐘,約翰!我最想要告訴你的話,是留在最后說(shuō)的。我親愛(ài)的、善良的、寬大為懷的約翰,那天晚上,我們談?wù)撃侵惑暗臅r(shí)候,我有話就在嘴邊,卻沒(méi)有說(shuō)出來(lái)。我想說(shuō)的是:起初我并不像現(xiàn)在愛(ài)你這么深;我剛來(lái)到這兒這個(gè)家里的時(shí)候,我還有點(diǎn)兒擔(dān)心自己不會(huì)完完全全像自己所希望和所祈禱的那樣愛(ài)你——因?yàn)槲沂悄敲茨贻p,約翰??墒怯H愛(ài)的約翰啊,后來(lái)每過(guò)一天,每過(guò)一個(gè)小時(shí),我卻越來(lái)越愛(ài)你了。假如我愛(ài)你能比目前更深的話,那么今天早上我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)的你那番高尚的言語(yǔ)就會(huì)使我那樣。可是我不能啊。因?yàn)槲乙呀?jīng)把我全部的愛(ài)傾注在你的身上了,而我的愛(ài)是很深很深的,約翰,并且那是很久很久以前你就完全配得到的,我已經(jīng)毫無(wú)保留地給了你,毫無(wú)剩余了。現(xiàn)在,我親愛(ài)的丈夫,把我再抱在你的懷里吧!這兒是我的家,約翰,永遠(yuǎn)、永遠(yuǎn)不要想到把我送到其他的地方去??!”
如果你親眼見(jiàn)到小不點(diǎn)兒奔向前去撲到運(yùn)貨夫的懷抱里的話,那你一定會(huì)感到極大的欣喜。那是你在見(jiàn)到另外一個(gè)人擁抱著一個(gè)非凡的小女人的時(shí)候所感到的歡愉所遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)及不上的。那是你畢生所沒(méi)有見(jiàn)到過(guò)的最完美、最純粹、最能引起心靈共鳴的一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)真誠(chéng)。
你完全可以相信運(yùn)貨夫這時(shí)候欣喜若狂,你也完全可以相信小不點(diǎn)兒也是如此,你還完全可以相信他們大家全都欣喜若狂——包括施羅博埃小姐在內(nèi),她高興得大喊大叫,還希望讓她懷中的孩子也參加到大家互相道喜的活動(dòng)中去,于是那孩子就在他們中間一個(gè)接一個(gè)地傳遞著,仿佛他是供人喝的什么飲料。
可是這會(huì)兒他們又聽(tīng)見(jiàn)門外傳來(lái)轆轆的車輪聲,還聽(tīng)見(jiàn)有人喊道:“格拉夫和泰克爾頓回來(lái)啦。”接著那位可尊敬的老爺很快地出現(xiàn)了,神情急躁而又狼狽。
“喂,究竟怎么回事,約翰·皮瑞賓格爾?”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“一定出了什么差錯(cuò)啦。我約了泰克爾頓夫人在教堂里會(huì)面,可是我敢發(fā)誓,在路上我和她錯(cuò)過(guò)了,她是上這兒來(lái)了。??!她在這兒!請(qǐng)?jiān)?,先生,我還不認(rèn)識(shí)你,可是如果我可以請(qǐng)你讓這位年輕的女士脫身的話,今天上午她倒是有一個(gè)非常特殊的約會(huì)哩!”
“可是我不能放她走,”愛(ài)德華答道,“那是我想都沒(méi)法去想的事?!?/p>
“你這是什么意思?你這個(gè)流氓!”泰克爾頓說(shuō)。
“我的意思是,對(duì)于你這樣生氣我既然能夠體諒,”對(duì)方微笑著回答,“那么對(duì)于今天早上這種粗話,我也就能夠像對(duì)昨天晚上所有那些話那樣,一律不予理睬?!?/p>
泰克爾頓用了那樣的眼光望著他,表現(xiàn)出那種大吃一驚的樣子!
“非常抱歉,先生,”愛(ài)德華說(shuō),一邊把梅的左手推向前,使那只無(wú)名指尤其顯眼,“這位年輕的女士不能陪你上教堂去了。可是今天上午她已經(jīng)去過(guò)一次教堂了,這你也許會(huì)原諒她吧?!?/p>
泰克爾頓眼睜睜地盯住那只無(wú)名指瞧,然后從背心口袋里掏出一小張銀白色的紙,顯然里面包著一枚戒指。
“施羅博埃小姐,”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“勞駕你把這個(gè)扔進(jìn)火里去好嗎?謝謝你?!?/p>
“我的的確確告訴你,我們是以前訂的婚,是在很早以前,因此她才不能遵守和你的約定?!睈?ài)德華說(shuō)。
“泰克爾頓先生會(huì)公道地承認(rèn)我曾經(jīng)忠實(shí)地把這件事告訴過(guò)他,而且我告訴過(guò)他許多次,我永遠(yuǎn)也忘不了我以前的婚約?!泵氛f(shuō),臉上泛起了紅暈。
“唔,確實(shí)是那樣!”泰克爾頓說(shuō),“唔,確有其事。唔,沒(méi)關(guān)系。這樣做是很正確的。愛(ài)德華·普盧默太太,我推斷是這樣的名字吧?”
“正是這個(gè)名字。”那個(gè)新郎回答說(shuō)。
“啊,我原不該認(rèn)識(shí)你的,先生,”泰克爾頓仔細(xì)察看著他的臉說(shuō)道,然后深深地鞠了一躬,“我祝你快樂(lè),先生!”
“謝謝你。”
“皮瑞賓格爾太太,”泰克爾頓突然朝小不點(diǎn)兒和她的丈夫站在一塊兒的地方轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去說(shuō),“我對(duì)不起你。你并沒(méi)有盡力幫我的忙,可是確確實(shí)實(shí)我是對(duì)不起你的。你比我過(guò)去認(rèn)為的更好。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾,我對(duì)不起你。你了解我,所以這就夠了。事情這么辦非常正確,女士們和先生們,也全都十分美滿。再見(jiàn)!”
他用這番話應(yīng)付過(guò)去了,說(shuō)罷也就那么走了,只在門前停了一下,把馬頭上的那些花朵和彩球解下來(lái),又朝馬的肋部踢了一腳,好像借此告訴那匹馬說(shuō),他的安排出了問(wèn)題。
當(dāng)然啰,現(xiàn)在應(yīng)該認(rèn)真地把這個(gè)日子好好安排一下,使它在皮瑞賓格爾家的日歷上永遠(yuǎn)標(biāo)志著為這些事件賀喜設(shè)宴。于是小不點(diǎn)兒著手籌備一個(gè)能把不朽的光榮反映在這個(gè)家以及一應(yīng)有關(guān)人等身上的盛宴。不一會(huì)兒工夫,她的一雙手臂已經(jīng)埋在面粉里,一直沒(méi)到她那有小窩兒的胳膊肘兒上,還把運(yùn)貨夫抹得一身白粉,因?yàn)槊看嗡呓臅r(shí)候,她總要攔住他吻他一下。這個(gè)好漢子又洗青菜又削蘿卜,又砰的一下打碎幾個(gè)碟子,接著又撞翻火爐上幾個(gè)盛滿冷水的鐵鍋?zhàn)樱€顯得自己不管在哪一方面都能幫得了忙的樣子。與此同時(shí),從附近什么地方好像在生死關(guān)頭急忙請(qǐng)來(lái)的兩個(gè)內(nèi)行幫手,在所有的門口和所有的轉(zhuǎn)角上都撞個(gè)滿懷。所有的人也到處被蒂蕾·施羅博埃和小寶寶絆住。蒂蕾?gòu)膩?lái)沒(méi)有表現(xiàn)出這么勁頭十足,她無(wú)處不在,博得大家不斷異口同聲的稱贊。在兩點(diǎn)二十五分鐘的時(shí)候,她是走廊上的一個(gè)障礙物;在正兩點(diǎn)半鐘的時(shí)候,她在廚房里成了一架捕人機(jī);在兩點(diǎn)三十五分鐘的時(shí)候,她是頂樓里的一個(gè)陷阱;而小寶寶的腦袋也就好像是一塊各色各樣的物質(zhì)——?jiǎng)游?、植物、礦物的試驗(yàn)品和試金石。那一天用上的東西,沒(méi)有一樣不是遲早要跟那個(gè)腦袋親密地接觸一下的。
接下來(lái)大家組成了一支偉大的徒步探險(xiǎn)隊(duì)去尋找費(fèi)爾丁太太,他們打算神情陰郁地向那位出色的夫人表示悔過(guò),然后把她帶回到皮瑞賓格爾家中來(lái),如果必要的話,不惜使用強(qiáng)迫手段;要讓她來(lái)了以后快活起來(lái),并且寬恕他們。探險(xiǎn)隊(duì)剛找到她的時(shí)候,不管說(shuō)什么她一概不聽(tīng),只顧一味說(shuō)著自己怎么也想不到竟然會(huì)活著看見(jiàn)這樣的一天!又說(shuō):“現(xiàn)在把我抬進(jìn)墳?zāi)估锶グ?!”除了這句話,怎么也沒(méi)法使她說(shuō)其他的話。這簡(jiǎn)直是她的無(wú)稽之談,因?yàn)樗](méi)有死,也沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)兒要死的樣子。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,她又陷入一種可怕的平靜狀態(tài),說(shuō)在那筆靛青生意中發(fā)生那一連串倒霉的事情的時(shí)候,她就預(yù)料到,在她的一生中將遭受各種侮辱和謾罵,因此如今發(fā)現(xiàn)情況正是這樣,反倒使她覺(jué)得高興,她懇求他們不要費(fèi)事來(lái)管她了——因?yàn)樗炙愕昧耸裁茨兀亢?!只是一個(gè)無(wú)足輕重的人而已!——要他們忘掉還有這么一個(gè)人活著,要他們只當(dāng)沒(méi)有她這個(gè)人而過(guò)自己的日子得了。接著她從刻薄挖苦轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榱藨嵟?,并且用這樣奇怪的話來(lái)發(fā)泄她的憤怒。她說(shuō),一條蚯蚓給踩了都會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái)的?。浑S后她又變得溫和了,說(shuō)只要他們信得過(guò)她,在她力所能及的范圍之內(nèi),她又會(huì)有什么建議不提供的呢!這時(shí)候,探險(xiǎn)隊(duì)就利用她這個(gè)情緒轉(zhuǎn)折的關(guān)頭,把她團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住。不一會(huì)兒她也就戴上了手套,打扮得無(wú)可指摘,氣派十足,動(dòng)身到約翰·皮瑞賓格爾的家去了,身旁還放著一個(gè)紙包,里面裝著一頂華麗的帽子,那帽子幾乎和主教冠一樣高,一般挺拔。
現(xiàn)在只等小不點(diǎn)兒的父親和母親的那輛小馬車的到來(lái)了??墒堑攘撕镁眠€不見(jiàn)來(lái),大家便擔(dān)心起來(lái),不斷地朝路那頭望去,希望能看見(jiàn)他們。而費(fèi)爾丁太太卻老是朝他們不可能來(lái)的錯(cuò)誤方向望著,有人向她指出以后,她說(shuō),她希望自己有隨心所欲朝哪兒看的自由。他們終于來(lái)到了——是一對(duì)胖墩墩的小個(gè)子,一路搖搖晃晃、舒舒泰泰地走了進(jìn)來(lái),那模樣完全是小不點(diǎn)兒家的可愛(ài)氣派。小不點(diǎn)兒和她的媽媽緊挨著,看了著實(shí)令人叫絕。因?yàn)樗齻儌z簡(jiǎn)直一模一樣。
于是小不點(diǎn)兒的母親少不得要和梅的母親見(jiàn)面寒暄一番。梅的母親總是保持著她那種氣派,小不點(diǎn)兒的母親則從不擺什么氣派,只是一雙小腳主動(dòng)得很。而老小不點(diǎn)兒呢——也就是稱作小不點(diǎn)兒的父親的那個(gè)人,剛才我忘了說(shuō)那并非他的名字,不過(guò)這無(wú)關(guān)緊要——他待人很隨和,一見(jiàn)面就熱情握手,他似乎把一頂帽子看作只是用糨糊粘著棉布的一種玩意兒,他也毫不客氣地提到那筆靛青生意,只說(shuō)如今再也沒(méi)有什么辦法了;正如費(fèi)爾丁太太所總結(jié)的,他是那種好脾氣的人——她說(shuō),可就是粗俗了一點(diǎn)兒,親愛(ài)的。
我無(wú)論如何也不愿意略過(guò)小不點(diǎn)兒不談的。她穿了一身結(jié)婚禮服,正盡著主婦之誼,她的臉蛋兒多么歡愉!不!我也不愿意漏掉那個(gè)善良的運(yùn)貨夫,他坐在飯桌的一端。我也不愿意略過(guò)那個(gè)曬得黝黑的精力充沛的水手,以及他的美麗的妻子。他們這伙人中間的任何一個(gè)我都不愿意放過(guò)不談。至于那一頓餐食,如果不提它一提,就會(huì)好比失去一個(gè)人所需要吃的一餐豐富而又令人愉快的美食;如果不談一談他們?yōu)檫@個(gè)結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日而舉杯祝賀的那些滿溢的酒杯,那更會(huì)是所有的損失之中最大的損失了。
吃過(guò)飯以后,凱萊布唱了一首關(guān)于“閃光的大酒杯”的歌曲:“因?yàn)槲一钪?,希望活下去,一年,兩年,這樣過(guò)……”他唱完了整首歌。
我還要順便說(shuō)一下,正當(dāng)他唱完最后一行歌詞的時(shí)候,一件萬(wàn)萬(wàn)意想不到的事情發(fā)生了。
突然傳來(lái)一下輕輕的敲門聲,只見(jiàn)一個(gè)人既不道歉,又不請(qǐng)求原諒,徑自趔趔趄趄地走進(jìn)屋來(lái),頭上頂著一件沉重的東西。他把那東西放到桌子的中央,位置恰好是對(duì)稱地處于那些堅(jiān)果和蘋果的中心,然后他說(shuō)道:
“泰克爾頓先生向各位道喜,因?yàn)檫@個(gè)蛋糕他已經(jīng)用不上了,也許你們?cè)敢獍阉缘??!?/p>
說(shuō)完他便走了。
你們?cè)撃芟胂蟮玫?,他們大伙兒不免有些驚訝,而費(fèi)爾丁太太又是聰明過(guò)人的,她提醒大家說(shuō),這個(gè)蛋糕里一定下了毒藥,于是講了一則關(guān)于蛋糕的故事,說(shuō)據(jù)她所知,有個(gè)蛋糕曾經(jīng)把一個(gè)女神學(xué)院里的姑娘們毒得周身發(fā)青??墒撬茨艿謸踝〈蠹业谋頉Q,結(jié)果這個(gè)蛋糕由梅歡天喜地、儀式十分隆重地切開了。
我想這個(gè)蛋糕還沒(méi)有一個(gè)人吃上嘴,就又有人敲門了,出現(xiàn)的還是那個(gè)人,腋下夾著一個(gè)棕色的大紙包。
“泰克爾頓先生向各位道喜,他給孩子送來(lái)了幾個(gè)玩具,都不是難看的呢?!?/p>
說(shuō)完這句話,他又走了。
大家驚愕得瞠目結(jié)舌,即使有充分的時(shí)間,也無(wú)法說(shuō)出話來(lái),更何況他們一點(diǎn)兒時(shí)間也沒(méi)有。因?yàn)槟侨藥缀踹€沒(méi)有關(guān)上門,又響起了敲門聲,是泰克爾頓本人又走了進(jìn)來(lái)。
“皮瑞賓格爾太太!”那個(gè)玩具商的手里拿著帽子說(shuō),“我很抱歉。比今天早上還要抱歉。我花時(shí)間把這件事想過(guò)了。約翰·皮瑞賓格爾!我這個(gè)人生性怪僻,可是跟你這樣的人接近了以后,我不由得多少變得溫柔一些了。凱萊布!這位小保姆昨天晚上無(wú)意中斷斷續(xù)續(xù)地給了我一些暗示,而我已經(jīng)摸索出那個(gè)線索了。想到我自己竟然可能會(huì)毫不躊躇地使你和你的女兒受我的束縛,我感到慚愧極了。我又想到自己竟然把她看作一個(gè)白癡,我自己才是一個(gè)可憐的白癡哩!朋友們,我所有的朋友啊,今天晚上我的家非常冷清。我的爐邊連一只蟋蟀都沒(méi)有。我把它們?nèi)紘樑芰?。?qǐng)你們發(fā)個(gè)慈悲,讓我參加這個(gè)快樂(lè)的宴會(huì)吧!”
五分鐘以后,他便和在自己家里一樣無(wú)拘無(wú)束了。你簡(jiǎn)直從來(lái)沒(méi)有見(jiàn)到過(guò)那樣的一個(gè)人。他這一生曾經(jīng)是怎么搞的,竟然從來(lái)不知道自己能有那么多的快樂(lè)!要不然就是那些仙子對(duì)他作了些什么法,才使他變成這樣的!
“約翰,今天晚上你不會(huì)把我送回家去的,是吧?”
可是他只差一點(diǎn)兒就要那么做了!
如今只缺一個(gè)生物來(lái)使這個(gè)宴會(huì)圓滿了??墒且徽Q酃し颍鼇?lái)到了。它因?yàn)槠疵寂?,口渴難熬,硬要把頭塞進(jìn)一只窄小的水壺里去,真是白費(fèi)勁。它曾經(jīng)跟隨那輛馬車奔到路程的終點(diǎn),因?yàn)樗闹魅瞬辉诙鴿M肚子不高興,反抗那個(gè)代理車夫到了驚人的地步。接著在馬廄附近徘徊了一會(huì)兒,妄圖煽動(dòng)那匹老馬采取反抗行動(dòng)往回跑,可也是枉然,于是它就走進(jìn)酒吧間,在火爐前躺了下來(lái)??捎滞蝗粓?jiān)信那個(gè)代理車夫是個(gè)騙子,必須棄絕他,便一下子站起來(lái)逃跑,就這樣回到家里來(lái)了。
到了晚上,他們舉行了一個(gè)舞會(huì)。我簡(jiǎn)略地提一提這場(chǎng)娛樂(lè)之后,原該撇下不談的,可是我卻有理由認(rèn)為那是一個(gè)十分別致的、具有最不尋常的特點(diǎn)的舞會(huì)。整個(gè)舞會(huì)由一種奇特的方式組成,是這樣的:
水手愛(ài)德華是一個(gè)善良、灑脫而又勇敢的人。他給大家講各種奇聞怪事,關(guān)于鸚哥、礦山、墨西哥人、金粉,等等。突然間一個(gè)念頭閃進(jìn)他的腦袋,他從座位上跳起來(lái),提出要跳舞,說(shuō)正好有蓓莎的豎琴,她又是個(gè)少有的好琴手??墒切〔稽c(diǎn)兒說(shuō)她跳舞的時(shí)代已經(jīng)過(guò)去了,我認(rèn)為那是因?yàn)檫\(yùn)貨夫正在吸一袋煙,而她所最喜歡的是坐在他身旁——在她要裝假的時(shí)候,她可確實(shí)是一個(gè)狡猾的裝模作樣的小家伙呀!費(fèi)爾丁太太當(dāng)然只好說(shuō)她跳舞的時(shí)代也過(guò)去了。接下來(lái)一個(gè)個(gè)都這么說(shuō),只有梅不在此例,梅是準(zhǔn)備跳舞的。
于是梅和愛(ài)德華站起身來(lái),在大家熱烈的掌聲中,只有他們一對(duì)起舞了,而蓓莎也奏起了她的最動(dòng)人的調(diào)子。
好哇!如果你相信我的話,他們跳了還不到五分鐘,運(yùn)貨夫驀地拋下煙斗,摟著小不點(diǎn)兒的腰,沖到屋子當(dāng)中,開始和她以極為優(yōu)美的舞姿跳起來(lái)了。泰克爾頓見(jiàn)了立即飛步來(lái)到費(fèi)爾丁太太跟前,摟住她的腰,也照樣跳起舞來(lái)。老小不點(diǎn)兒見(jiàn)了猛地站起身來(lái),歡蹦亂跳的,一下子便帶著老小不點(diǎn)兒太太插進(jìn)那場(chǎng)舞蹈中間去,而且成了最前面的一組舞伴。凱萊布見(jiàn)了,立即抓住蒂蕾·施羅博埃的雙手,一下子沖上舞場(chǎng);而施羅博埃小姐則堅(jiān)信所謂跳舞的唯一原則就是在其他一對(duì)對(duì)的舞伴當(dāng)中熱火朝天地鉆過(guò)來(lái)又鉆過(guò)去,還和他們沖撞許許多多次。
聽(tīng)??!那只蟋蟀怎樣啾啾、啾啾地參加了那支樂(lè)曲;那只水壺也怎樣嘶嘶、嘶嘶地歡唱著哪!
可是怎么回事呀!我正愉快地聽(tīng)著,并且向小不點(diǎn)兒轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉去,對(duì)那個(gè)我所喜愛(ài)的小人兒看上最后一眼,這時(shí)候,她和其他一切,剎那間全都消失在空中,只剩下孤零零的我了!有一只蟋蟀在爐邊唱著,地上躺著一個(gè)破損的兒童玩具,除此以外,其他一切都無(wú)影無(wú)蹤了。
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