19.2 寫好段落的三個環(huán)節(jié)
19.2A 明確中心
1) 一篇文章必須具有明確的主題 (Topic),而作為文章的一個段落,則必須是該主題的某個要點或側(cè)面(Focal point or aspect),即有明確的段落中心,試看下面一段文章:
The salesmen are all professionals who follow the country-fair circuit. The pen vendor, aged forty-three, has been a drummer ever since he was eighteen years old. His sales pitch, repeated verbatim every hour or so, seems to have a will of its own which has little or nothing to do with the stone-faced man who delivers it. It's just a job like any other job, although it demands that he have no home other than the camper in which he travels. Like the barkers and peddlers of years past, the people of the fair are creatures of the road who remain forever on the outskirts of the communities they serve. But the salesmen are not alone. The “carnies,” as the amusement-park folks call themselves, have transformed the country-fair circuit into a way of life. Traveling together in one continuous party, they wear “carny power” insignia on the back of their Levi's jackets and like to hang together when the local toughs start hankering for a fight. They are proud to belong to a select group of “gypsies, tramps, and thieves,” self-appointed outcasts from the small-town societies in which they set up shop. Like the salesmen who travel beside them, they live off the suckers ... who come to the fair to blow a few bucks and catch a passing glimpse of bright lights and fancy things.
讀后你會發(fā)現(xiàn),這段文章可以分成兩個段落,即從第六句“But the salesmen are not alone”另起一段,實際情況正是如此。這個例子選自Ralph Raphael的Edges一書,原為兩個段落。第一段主要講salesmen at country fairs,舉例說明。然后,轉(zhuǎn)到“carnies”,從另一個角度談country fairs,并形成另一個自然段。
2) 主題句(Topic sentence)是段落要點的標志,使用主題句是保持段落一致的有效手段。例如:
I enjoy listening to music no matter what I am doing. Music always makes me feel relaxed and brightens my mood. For example, ...
上例開頭句點出了段落的主題。第二句對主題加以闡述,說明聽音樂有什么好處。接著通過舉例說明聽音樂的時間、地點、所聽的內(nèi)容。最后一句同段首兩句相呼應,也是全段的小結(jié),整段結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,緊扣主題。
關(guān)于段落主題句,舉例見20.2C。
19.2B 合理的組織
1) 合理組織指段落中句子的安排要符合邏輯次序(Logical order),做到句間上下銜接,意思前后連貫,以利于中心思想的明確表達。為此,在寫一個段落時,就要考慮到這個段落里要寫什么,如講一個故事或繼續(xù)講前面已開始講到的故事,描寫一個人、物或地方,敘述一件事,都要注意到怎樣較為符合邏輯,便于讀者接受。對一個段落進行修改時,要進一步從這個角度加以檢查,并作出必要的調(diào)整。
2) 對一個講故事的段落來說,很可能遵循時間或年代次序 (Temporal or Chronological order),即從最早發(fā)生的事開始講到最后的事件。例如:Army Tan的小說 The Kitchen God's Wife 的故事梗概里就有這樣一個段落:
Thus begins an unfolding of secrets that takes mother and daughter back to a small island outside Shanghai in the 1920s and throughout China during World War Two, and traces the happy and desperate events that led to Winnie's coming to America in 1949.
3) 在描寫段落中主要根據(jù)空間次序(Spatial Order) 給讀者以立體的概念。如要描寫一個校園,你就首先把讀者帶到大門口,介紹進門后的第一座建筑物,花壇、噴水池、行政樓,然后依次參觀教學區(qū)、圖書館、生活區(qū),等等。當然次序可以不同,如先看教學樓,生活設(shè)施,最后再到行政樓,但不應一會兒介紹教室,一會兒又跳到辦公室,因為那樣就會給人以凌亂和支離破碎的印象。下面是Alfred Carl Hottes的Book of Trees中的一個段落:
The leaves are usually one-to three-lobed and turn orange-scarlet in the Autumn. The bark is a cinnamon-gray, and is deeply furrowed. The twigs are hairy when young, and yellowish-green, aromatic, and with very unequal internodes. The scanty fruits are bluish-black, with red stems, and surrounded at the base by thick, scarlet calyx.
這個段落從樹葉、樹皮到樹枝層層描寫,大小、顏色、形狀,十分細致、逼真,像幅油畫一樣越來越清晰地展現(xiàn)在讀者眼前。
下面選自Robert Penn Warren在Wilderness 中的一段人物描寫:
Adam turned to look at him. It was, in a way, as though this were the first time he had laid eyes on him. He saw the strong, black shoulders under the red-check calico, the long arms lying loose, forward over the knees, the strong hands, seamed and calloused, holding the reins. He looked at the face. The thrust of the jawbone was strong, but the lips were heavy and low, with a piece of chewed straw hanging out one side of the mouth. The eyelids were pendulous, slightly swollen-looking, and the eyes bloodshot. Those eyes, Adam knew, could sharpen to a quick, penetrating, assessing glance. But now, looking at that slack, somnolent face, he could scarcely believe that.
上面這段描寫塑造了一個人物半身像,豐滿而又結(jié)實。讀者首先看到的是那雙強壯的黝黑的肩膀,又隨著下垂的胳臂看到膝上的那雙粗大的手。寥寥數(shù)筆,一個粗線條的人體已出現(xiàn)在讀者面前。然后從“He looked at the face”開始,人體面部的各個部位和眼神得到了工筆畫式的描繪,給讀者以栩栩如生的印象。整個段落分兩個層次,首先是一個總體框架,然后是重點素描,并著重表現(xiàn)了眼神。有兩句俗語:一是“畫人難畫手,畫獸難畫走”,二是“畫龍點睛”,上面這段人物描寫能根據(jù)重點運用筆墨,層次分明,線條清晰,因而顯得格外成功。
4) 在說明或議論段落中要重視邏輯次序,做到既不片面,又有重點。試比較兩段分析因果關(guān)系的文章:
An unusual cluster of bad luck lost the game. Many blamed Fraser's failure to block the tackler who caused the fumble that produced the winning touchdown. But even here, bad weather and bad luck shared the blame. Both teams faced a slippery field, of course. But Fraser was standing in a virtual bog when he lunged for the block and slipped. Moreover, the storm had delayed the bus for hours, tiring and frustrating the team, leaving them short of sleep and with no chance to practice. Furthermore, Hunter's throwing arm was still not back in shape from his early injury. Finally, one must admit, the Acorns were simply heavier and stronger, which is the real luck of the game.
(Harold W. Stoke)
The masses, and therefore the gravity, of the sun and the earth are partly due to each other, partly to more distant objects such as the stars and galaxies. According to Hoyle, if the universe were to be cut in half, local solar-system gravitation would double, drawing the earth closer to the sun. The pressure in the sun's center would increase, thus raising its temperature, its generation of energy, and its brightness. Before being seared into a lump of charcoal, a man on earth would find his weight increasing from 150 to 300 1bs.
(Time's Report on Fred Hoyle)
在第一段中,已知結(jié)果(指球賽失利),然后分析原因。有的原因是公認的,或者是直接的原因(Fraser's failure),但卻不是唯一的原因。作者雖然承認雙方面臨的同樣困難(a slippery field),同時又強調(diào)Fraser更為不利的處境(But Fraser was standing ...),接著進一步從3個方面(Moreover, ... Furthermore, ... Finally, ...)分析了Fraser隊的敗因,層層緊扣,尤其最后一點指出了該隊失敗的必然因素。
第二段相反,是先說明原因,然后分析可能產(chǎn)生的結(jié)果。開頭一句說明了一個客觀的事實。然后筆鋒一轉(zhuǎn),從Hoyle(英國天文學家、數(shù)學家)的假設(shè)進行推理,直到最后可能出現(xiàn)的情況。
19.2C 恰當?shù)倪^渡
1) 過渡詞語可大體分為以下數(shù)類:
表示對照(Contrast) 的有but, however, nevertheless, by contrast, in spite of this, on the other hand,等;
表示類似 (Similarity)的有and, also, another, besides, furthermore, in addition, in the same way, likewise, next, moreover, second, (or secondly, third, thirdly, etc.), similarly,等;
表示時間或地點聯(lián)系(Time or Place Relationship)的有earlier, later, at the same time, meanwhile; soon, here, there, farther on, nearby,等;
表示因果關(guān)系(Cause and Consequence)的有as a result, consequently, therefore, thus, 等;
表示舉例的有as an illustration, for example, for instance, another example,等;
表示重復或總結(jié)的有as I have said, in other words, to repeat, in brief, in short, in summary, to sum up, 等;
表示先后次序的有first of all, first (or firstly, second, secondly, etc.), then, at last, finally, 等;
有時還可用整個句子作為過渡,如:“How should we proceed?”“The (next — and also the) third case is curiously unlike the first two.” “Let us move on to the next issue.” 等。
2) 段落之間的過渡詞語既可表示要點或側(cè)重點的轉(zhuǎn)移、變化,同時又表示它們之間的聯(lián)系。例如:
So far I have been dealing with the vocabulary of sociologists, but their private language has a grammar too, and one that should be the subject of intensive research by the staff of a very well-endowed foundation. I have space to mention only a few of its more striking features.
The first of these is the preponderance of nouns over all the other parts of speech. Nouns are used in hyphenated pairs of dyads, and sometimes in triads, tetrads, and pentads. Nouns are used as adjectives without change of form, and they are often used as verbs, with or without the suffix “-ize”. The sociological language is gritty with nouns, like sanded sugar.
On the other hand, it is poor in pronouns. The singular pronoun of the first person has entirely disappeared, except in case histories, for the sociologists never comes forward as “I”. Sometimes he refers to himself as “the author” or “the investigator”,or as “many sociologists”, or even as “the best sociologists”, when he is advancing a debatable opinion. On are occasions he calls himself “we”,like Queen Elizabeth speaking from the throne, but he usually avoids any personal form and writes as if he were a force of nature.
The second-personal pronoun has also disappeared, ...
這是美國評論家和詩人Malcolm Cowley (1898年生)題為Sociological Habit Patterns in Linguistic Transmogrification的一篇評論中的幾個段落。他在該文中批評一些社會學家寫文章時滿紙行話而不善于使用簡明的詞語。從“So far”引出的這個段落承上啟下,后面的3個段落也都是由過渡語引導出來:“The first ...”,“On the other hand”,“... also ...”,等。我們讀到表示對照的過渡詞語時,馬上意識到新段落里的話題會有變化,而讀到表示類似的過渡詞語時,知道新段落是從另一個角度繼續(xù)前段的話題。有人把段落之間的過渡詞語比作橋梁(bridges)和路標(signposts),是相當確切的。
3) 在段落內(nèi)部的過渡詞語,有人比作鉚釘(rivets)和鐵軌(rails),使段落構(gòu)成一個完整的有機體,并引導讀者了解作者所要表達的內(nèi)容。下面是F. L. Lucas所寫What Is Style?中的一個段落:
Why and how did I become interested in style? The main answer, I suppose, is that I was born that way. Then I was, till ten, and only child running loose in a house packed with books, and in a world (thank goodness) still undistracted by radio and television. So at three I groaned to my mother, “Oh, I wish I could read,” and at four I read. Now travel among books is the best travel of all, and the easiest, and the cheapest. (Not that I belittle ordinary travel — which I regard as one of the three main pleasures in life.) One learns to write by reading good books, as one learns to talk by hearing good talkers. And if I have learned anything of writing, it is largely from writers like Montaigne, Dorothy Osborne, Horace Walpole, Johnson, Goldsmith, Montesquieu, Volaire, Flaubert and Anatole France. Again, I was reared on Greek and Latin, and one can learn much from translating Homer or the Greek Anthology, Horace or Tacitus, if one is thrilled by the original, and tries, however vainly, to recapture some of that thrill in English.
作者首先修辭設(shè)問點出段落主題(Why and how ...?),然后利用過渡語一步步引導讀者去了解答案(The main answer ... Then ... So ...)起承轉(zhuǎn)合,逐步展開,既不平鋪直敘,又始終緊扣主題,一氣呵成,構(gòu)成一個完整的緊湊段落。
練習十九 (Exercise Nineteen)
I. Preview Questions:
1. Do you think it necessary that all the points in a paragraph stick to a central idea?
2. Can you tell the difference between Temporal Order and Spatial Order?
3. How many types of transitional words and phrases have you learned?
4. Can you tell what functions can transitional words and phrases perform within a paragraph?
5. What functions can transitional words and phrases perform between paragraphs?
6. Have you learned any other transitional devices?
II. Reconstruct the paragraph by placing the following scrambled sentences in proper order.
Notes for reference: Both contextual meaning and levels of generality in establishing paragraph unity — the sense of cohesiveness are necessary to identify a unit of discourse as a paragraph. They center more on the meaning of the content than on the structure (although it is sometimes very difficult to separate the two). However, there are other structural, or formal, devices of paragraph unity that readers respond to, sometimes without consciously realizing it; for instance, parallel structure is certainly one clue to paragraph unity.
1. This erosion removes precious topsoil, making the ground unfit for anything to grow — not rabbit's tobacco, not sassafras, not corn, not beans.
2. But now the pasture is filled with boulders from the strip mine up the hill, and never again will cattle graze nor meadow birds nest there.
3. I have seen creeping soil banks topple towering oak trees and cover the lush shrubs and vines carpeting the ground.
4. The land dies.
5. Finally, I know of a pasture where partridges once nested after the cattle were removed.
6. Not only the waterways but the land itself has been a victim of strip mining.
7. And because there is no ground cover, erosion occurs.
8. Rabbits also lived there as did many other ground creatures.
9. Erosion, in the form of monstrous landslides, resulting from locating strip mines close to highways, blocks the roads and makes it impossible for school children and workers to reach their destinations.
10. Because the trees are toppled, squirrels, birds, and possums can't nest there and the habitats of the wildlife are crowded; more squirrels must nest in fewer trees.
III. Go over the following and provide similar examples from your reading or writing:
Transitions link a paragraph to what has immediately preceded it. They occur at or near the beginning of a paragraph because the new paragraph represents a turn of thought, a minor new beginning which has to be linked to what has gone before. When readers have to change tracks, the transition acts like a switch, smoothing and easing the turn. Without a transition readers may be able to make the switch, but they have to bump along for themselves.
The simplest transition uses the repeated word — repetition of or reference to a key term or phrase occurring at the end of the preceding paragraph:
Despite my distrust of officers, I find myself sympathizing with Gen. Michael Dugan, who has just been fired as Chief of Staff of the Air Force.
Dugan got in trouble with the White House because he told reporters that if fighting broke out, we planned to run Saddam Hussein out of Kuwait by having the Air Force blow the hell out of Iraq.
He said we'd blast Baghdad and various military targets and maybe drop a bomb on Hussein himself. ...
A second method of linking paragraphs is to ask and answer a rhetorical question. Usually the question occurs at the end of the preceding paragraph and the answer at the beginning of the following one:
Some teachers of composition may assume that students are naturally eager to learn how to write. We don't. We are aware that writing can be one of the most upsetting, frustrating, and exasperating of all human activities. Seldom do the words pour out; seldom do they sound or look the way we want them to. And seldom do we or our students — or most people, for that matter — want to write. Then why learn to do so?
True, some people do find writing a release, an act of creation, ... If so, what's the point of learning to write?
The honest answer is that ...
The question-answer transition makes a very strong tie, but, as with the rhetorical question generally, it is too obvious a strategy to be called upon very often. In a short paper, one use is enough.
In the next type of transition you begin with a phrase or clause that sums up the point of the preceding paragraph and then move to the main clause, which introduces the main topic. If- and while- clauses frequently carry such transitions:
If I went through anguish in botany and economics — for different reasons gymnasium was even worse.
(James Thurber)
But while Bernard Shaw pleasantly surprised numerable cranks and revolutionists by finding quite rational arguments for them, he surprised them unpleasantly also by discovering something else.
(G. K. Chesterton)
In each case the opening clause refers back to the discussion in the paragraph before, while the main clause points forward to the new topic. On informal occasions, variations are possible as a prepositional phrase in this example:
Because of these differences in teaching methods, college throws more responsibility upon the student.
The summarizing transitions may take even briefer forms, using this, that, these, those, or such to sum up the preceding topic. These demonstratives as well as synonyms and pronouns are sometimes called Meaning Links.
Finally, you may link paragraphs by terms showing logical relationship, e. g. therefore, however, but, consequently, thus, and so, even so, on the other hand, for instance, etc.
Logical connectives seldom, if ever, provide the only link between paragraphs. Rather, they work in conjunction with word repetitions, summaries, pronouns, etc. In fact, all the various transitional strategies commonly occur in some combination. But whatever its form, an inter-paragraph transition should be clear and unobtrusive, shifting readers easily from one topic to the next without jolting them.
參考答案
EXERCISE NINETEENⅡ. The sentences can be arranged in the following order: 6-3-10-7-1-4-9-5-8-2