《柯南脫口秀》第15期:跟喜歡的人約會

you have to date people that you really like. 你得跟你喜歡的人約會

You can't just be physical because if it is,it's . 不能只是為了性 因為如果是那樣的話 那就完蛋了

because men are bipolar when it comes to sex. 因為涉及到性愛時 男人是雙極的

Pre and post sex we are two different people. 性愛前和性愛后 我們是兩個不同的人

Pre sex,very enthusiastic.Yes,I agree with that.Ha,ha,ha,that's so funny. 性愛前 很感興趣 對 我同意 哈哈哈 太搞笑了

Just the lie,the . 謊言 欺騙

I hear myself talking to women.I'm like shut up! 我聽見我自己跟女人談話 我都想說 閉嘴吧

And it's all for what?Just to get laid. 這都是為了啥啊 就為了滾床單

But the second that you climax,you're like what have I done? 但是 你高潮的那一秒 你想著 我做了什么啊

It's like a murder.There's a naked body here.How do I get rid of it? 那就跟謀殺一樣 這里有一具裸體 我該怎么處理掉它

I have left my own apartment after sex.Do you kown how uncomfortable that is? 做完愛后我離開過自己的公寓 你知道那有多么不舒服嗎

They're looking at you going where are you going? 她們看著你說 你要去哪里啊

I just,I can't.Just do whatever you need. 我只是 我做不到 你想做什么都行

Something happens to men during orgasm.Something leaves our bodies. 高潮時男人會有變化 有東西離開了我們的身體

I think it's interest, and you can't get that back for roughly an hour. 我覺得是興趣 大概一小時內 你都找不回興趣

And yet women are so comfortable afterwards.They're like what do you want to do now? 但女人在性愛后好舒服 他們說 你現(xiàn)在想做什么啊

Anything.Not with you.I'll do anything you like but you can't be there. 什么都行 只要不跟你一起做 我愿意做你喜歡的任何事 但你不能在場

And I really hate that happens to us as men because I adore women. 我真的討厭 那種事發(fā)生在男人身上 因為我喜歡女人

I think they're incredible.Just the fact that they agree to .They're just like yeah,sure. 我覺得她們很了不起 她們居然會同意懷孕 她們說 好吧 沒問題

I'll let someone live inside me for nine months.Nine months! 我會讓一個人在我體內住九個月 九個月啊

People say to me,can you hold this?I say no.I'm James Smith.Thank you very much. 人們對我說 你能拿著這個嗎 我說不行 我是詹姆斯·史密斯 非常感謝