如何清理心靈垃圾?
In the children’s book Zen Shorts by Jon Muth, a giant panda named Stillwater tells three stories to young siblings Addy, Michael, and Karl. All of the stories are famous Buddhist teachings, and you may be familiar with them even if you haven’t seen this beautifully illustrated book.
在Jon Muth給孩子們寫的《禪宗小故事》一書中,一個名叫“靜水”的大熊貓給他的弟弟妹妹Addy, Michael 和 Karl 講了三個故事。這些故事都是著名的佛教教義,即便你還沒有讀過這本美麗的圖畫書,里面的故事你可能已經頗為熟悉了。
The third story Stillwater shares with Karl is called “A Heavy Load” and is about two traveling monks. During their journey, two monks come upon an awful woman who refuses to cross a river because she does not wish to get her silken robes wet or dirty. The older of the two monks quickly picks up the woman and carries her across the water. Many hours later, the younger monk is very upset and visibly angry about his friend helping someone so disdainful, and he feels obliged to share his frustration with the older monk:
靜水講給Karl的故事叫做“沉重的包袱”,是關于兩個和尚旅行途中的故事。有一天,兩個和尚碰到一位讓人頭疼的婦女,她因為怕弄濕弄臟自己的絲裙而拒絕過河。年長一些的和尚立刻背起這個婦女過了河。過了幾個小時,年輕的和尚對這件事耿耿于懷,并且怒形于色。他覺得自己的同伴不應該幫助這個令人鄙視的婦女,決定一定要把自己的不快告知同伴:
“That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn’t even thank you!”
"那個女的既自私又無理,你還要背她過河!而且事后她連聲謝謝都沒說!”
“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”
“幾個小時前我就把她放下了,”年長的和尚回答說,“你卻為何一直放她不下?”
I think of this story whenever I find a dirty cup in our television room or clothing on the floor instead of in the hamper or notice that a co-worker dropped the ball on a small task. I remind myself that I have two options — I can be like the young monk and throw a fit and be in a bad mood and let it annoy me for hours, or I can be like the older monk and take care of the problem myself and immediately let go of the frustration. I get to decide if I want the cup or errant sock or unfinished task to clutter up my mind and put me in a bad mood, and, since I’d rather not have that clutter wasting my time and energy, I usually choose to be like the older monk.
每當我看到客廳里有用過沒洗的水杯,或丟在地板上而不是籃子里的臟衣服,或者看到同事有一些小任務沒能完成,我都會想到這個故事。我提醒自己有兩個選擇——我可以像那個年輕的和尚一樣發(fā)一通脾氣,讓壞情緒占據(jù)自己好幾個小時,或者我可以選擇像那個年長的和尚一樣自己解決掉那個問題,不讓壞情緒跟著自己。我必須決定是否讓那個沒洗的杯子、到處亂丟的襪子或是沒完成的任務成為困擾我的因素。由于我并不想讓這些負面的情緒浪費我的時間和精力,我通常選擇那個年長和尚的做法。
I’m not a maid — and I’m not suggesting you become one either — but I get to decide how I’m going to react to a situation. Remembering, too, that I don’t know the full story behind why the glass or sock are out of place or why a task at work was left unfinished. For all I know, my co-worker got an important call from a client and had to stop a project mid-way through completion to handle an emergency. By helping out, instead of getting frustrated and throwing a fit, I’m making the situation better for myself and others. I get to choose not to fill my time with more clutter than the small item I encountered.
我不是個奴仆,我也不希望你也變成這樣,但我必須決定我如何應對這些情況。而且也別忘了,我并不知道到底為什么杯子或者襪子被亂放,也不知道那個任務究竟為什么沒有完成。我所知道的就是:我的同事接到一個重要的客戶電話,然后必須停下手中的工作去應對一個緊急情況。與其生氣發(fā)一通脾氣,不如幫助他完成那個任務,這樣對我對他都有好處。所以我選擇去完成這些小的任務,而不是浪費時間在生氣上。
That said, if there is a persistent habit of other people leaving messes in their wake, a conversation about that behavior is certainly in order. However, frustrations caused by occasional messes are usually not worth carrying around with you and cluttering up your mind, energy, and emotions.
在這個前提下,如果有些人養(yǎng)成了給別人創(chuàng)造麻煩的習慣,就必須有人找他們談談。不過,偶爾的不注意一般就不值得耿耿于懷了,這樣做只能困擾自己的心靈、能量和情緒。
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