生活大爆炸 第六季:第20集:香蕉面包(上)
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I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies.
有一種永生不死的水母
Instead, it reverts to its asexual state and then grows up again.
它會從性成熟回復(fù)到幼蟲無性階段然后重新變性成熟
We thought my 90yearold grandfather had reverted to an asexual state,
我家以為我們90歲的姥爺也轉(zhuǎn)回了無性狀態(tài)
but the lawsuit from his Jamaican caregiver proved us all wrong.
直到他的牙買加裔看護員告上法庭證明了我們都錯了
My point is, immortality is not only a possibility, it is real.
我想說的是， 永生不再是空想能成為現(xiàn)實了
Only if you're this jellyfish which periodically reverts to a mass of undifferentiated protoplasm.
除非你是個水母然后周期性地回復(fù)到一大團未分化的原生質(zhì)
If I could keep my Gmail account, I'd be okay with that.Hello, fellas.
只要還能保留我的谷歌郵箱號我無所謂啊早安啊， 同志們
Remember when we were trying to figure out what that smell
還記得我們之前在尋思塔伯曼教授
coming from Professor Tupperman's office was?
辦公室飄出來的是什么味道嗎
Yeah? Turns out it was Tupperman.
然后呢， 原來就是塔伯曼的味兒
Dead at his desk for two weeks.
死在辦公桌上都兩周了
Oh, my God. That's terrible.
天啊， 太慘了
In lieu of flowers, the department chair is asking that everyone donate a bottle of Febreze.
系主任要求大家不要送花改送除臭劑過去會更好哦
If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish,I'd be okay with brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle.
如果要換掉剛才的水母話題我可以接受改聊豐年蝦或者獨輪腳踏車的歷史
Show a little compassion a man died.
有點同情心好嗎， 人家尸骨未寒呢
And turned into a puddle of goo.
其實已經(jīng)化成了一灘尸泥了
Now, we can either sit around and cry over spilt professor, or...
我們大可以在這緬懷爛成尸泥的教授
we can rejoice in the knowledge that a tenured position has just opened up.
也可以一同為一個空出來的終身教職慶祝一下
I choose to do the latter.
我會選擇后者
Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous.
拜托， 終身教職制度本來就十分荒謬
A guaranteed job for life only encourages the faculty to become complacent.
一個終身有保障的工作只會讓那些人變得過于自滿，怠惰
If we really want science to advance,people should have chips implanted in their skulls
如果真想要科學進步人們應(yīng)該在腦子里植入殺人晶片
that explode when they say something stupid.
只要一說蠢話， 就炸爛他們的腦袋
Well, I believe people do their best work when they feel safe and secure.
我認為人們只有在自己有保障的情況下才能做到最好
If you need my nose, you'll find it firmly lodged up the rectum of the tenure committee.
要找我的話， 只需到教職選舉委員會的馬屁處尋我即可
You Ph.D's gonna go suck up like Kripke? No.
你們幾個博士都要去當馬屁精嗎?才不會
I mean, I'll apply,but I'm not gonna stoop to playing politics.
我會去申請啦但是我才不去耍手段， 搞陰謀
Yeah, me neither.It should be about the work.
我也不會.重點應(yīng)該是在工作成果上
And if I can't get tenure,I'd like to see you or Sheldon get it.
而且如果我選不上我也希望是你或謝爾頓能選上
Raj, don't dangle false hope in front of Leonard like that.
拉杰， 別在萊納德面前亂說一些給他希望的話
Excuse me, but I think I'm just as qualified as you are.
抱歉我跟你完全一樣有資格有希望， 好嗎
So "tenured" means a job for life? Yup.
"終身教職"就是終身有保障的工作嗎， 沒錯
And you can't get fired even if you're bad at it? Mm, not really.
就算你做的超爛他們也不會炒你嗎?不太可能
Wow, sounds a lot like being a pretty waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.
聽起來就跟起司工廠店里的正妹女服務(wù)員一樣
While I disagree with the premise of tenure, if they gave it to me,it wouldn't diminish my output.
雖然我不太認同終身教職制度但如果他們給我這職位我也會繼續(xù)對科學界做貢獻
You know, I'm like the sun.Can't turn this off.
我就跟太陽一樣.發(fā)光發(fā)熱，停不下來。
Are Rajesh and Leonard competing for it as well?
拉杰什與萊納德也報名參選了嗎
Do they know they don't stand a chance 'cause you're so great? Well put.
那他們知道自己一點機會都沒有因為你超厲害嗎？說得好
You know, I must say I go back and forth on this boyfriendgirlfriend thing,
不得不說， 雖然我總在糾結(jié)我們是男女朋友這件事
but those moments when you worship me really keep you in the running.
但你崇拜我敬仰我的那些時刻真的替你加分了超多
It would be nice to have the increased income.
終身教職的薪水會更高
Stop taking money from my parents.
這樣就可以不用管爸媽要錢了
Money from family does come with strings attached.You have no idea.
花家里的錢總是會被父母管著，何止啊
They buy me a new BMW for my birthday but can I get seat warmers? No.
他們買了輛新寶馬給我當生日禮物但我能買座椅加熱器嗎？不行
"Rajesh, if you want a warm butt,you're gonna have to pay for it yourself."
"拉杰什， 如果你想要屁屁熱熱你就得自己掏錢買"
Well, maybe I will, old man!
逼急了我就真去買， 死老頭
I think that's enough wine for now.
我覺得酒喝得差不多了
I just keep thinking about how cool it would be if I called my mom and told her that I got tenure at Caltech.
我一直忍不住在腦海里幻想打給我媽告訴她我在加州理工得到終身教職的畫面
She'd be proud, huh? Oh, very.
她會為你驕傲吧？絕對會非常驕傲
Assuming she takes my call.
假如她接我電話的話
My primary concern with being granted tenure is living with an insanely jealous roommate after the fact.
我最大擔心的是， 在拿到終身教職后還得跟超嫉妒我的室友同住一個屋檐下
I might need to sleep with a gun under my pillow.Or a chainsaw.
我可能睡覺都得放把槍在我枕頭下或放把電鋸
Or you take advantage of your newfound economic stability and move out...buy a house...get married...start a family.
也可以利用終身教職的高薪收入搬離這里買個房子結(jié)個小婚組織個小家庭
Yeah, or...the chainsaw.
或者是放把電鋸就行
And I will return to New Delhi in triumph atop a bejeweled white elephant!
我會光榮凱旋回歸新德里騎著寶石裝飾的白象登場
And you know what will be on that elephant's back?
而且你們知道大象的背上會有什么嗎
A seat warmer."No, Father, you may not have a ride!"
座椅加熱器。不好意思， 父親， 就不載你
I'm gonna make some coffee.
我去煮點咖啡
So, who do you have to schmooze to get this deal?
你得拍誰的馬屁， 才能得到這份工作
I'm not gonna schmooze anybody.
我不會拍任何人的馬屁
I'm gonna let my work speak for itself. That's great.
我的工作成果足以說明一切。那很棒
That shows a lot of integrity.Thank you.
這說明你很正直。謝謝
I'm a naive idiot, right?
我就是一個天真的傻子， 對嗎
Oh, good, you heard me.
很好， 你懂我什么意思
You know, if you really want tenure,maybe you should cozy up to the people making the decision.
如果你很想獲得這份終身教職或許你該去奉承那些有決定權(quán)的人
Sheldon Cooper does not do "cozy."You don't say.
謝爾頓?庫珀才不搞"奉承"是啊是啊
But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to know who's on the committee.
但了解誰在委員會對我也沒什么害處
Let's see...Oh, Janine Davis.Oh, dear.Is that a problem? Yeah, even you.
我看看珍妮?戴維斯天啊，有問題嗎？你也一樣
You're a slave. I'm a what? I'm not sure; it could go either way.
你是個奴隸我是什么來著我不確定， 有兩種可能
Hey. Mrs. Davis.Dr. Hofstadter.
你好， 戴維斯夫人霍夫斯塔德博士
Just thought I'd come down and start getting ready for swimsuit season.
我只是想下來為穿泳裝而鍛煉身材
Good for you.Not that you need it.I bet you look great in a swimsuit. Thank you.
那很好啊。你顯然不需要。我猜你穿泳裝一定很迷人，謝謝
I've got what my father used to call "furniture disease."
我得了一種病， 我爸稱其為"家具疾病"
My chest is falling into my drawers.
我的胸部都下垂得要掉進我的抽屜里了
I'm not, uh, familiar with this model.
我不是很熟悉這個機器
How do I make it start?
我要怎么開始
You push start.Right.
按"開始"。好的
This one might be broken.
這臺可能壞了
You have to move. Got it. There.Oh, yeah!
你得動起來， 懂了，好了，太棒了
Yeah, now I'm feeling it. Oh, this is great.
我感覺到我在運動了，這真是來勁兒啊
I could do this for the rest of my life.
我愿意一輩子都做這個
Hey, speaking... speaking of things you do for the rest of your life...
說到，一輩子都可以做的事情
uh, did I read that you're on thatthat tenure committee? Yep.
聽說你在終身教職選舉委員會， 是嗎？是的
I got to get a home gym.
我得弄個家庭健身房了
Well, I'm sure you have a lot of good applicants, I just wanted to say hi and..
我知道有很多優(yōu)秀的申請者， 我只是想來跟你打聲招呼
let you know that I'll be... throwing my hat in the......ring.
告訴你我會參加這次...競選
All right, I'll keep an eye out for that. Yeah.Hey, Hofstadter.
好的， 我會留意你的， 好，霍夫斯塔德
Funny seeing you here for the first time in...ever.Go... away.
真有意思， 這么久我還是第一次在這里見到你，走開啦
Janine the Machine, let's do this!Hey, Barry.Well, look at that.
珍妮， 我們一起鍛煉吧！巴里快瞧瞧
Burned a whole calorie.
我消耗了整整一卡路里
I guess you got here early to burn off that banana bread I baked you.
你早早來這里鍛煉是想消耗掉那個我給你做的香焦面包的熱量吧
Yeah, it was delicious. Thank you. No, my pleasure.
對啊， 真的很好吃， 謝謝。不客氣， 我很樂意
Oh, if you... if you like banana bread...I've got aa great recipe.
如果你喜歡香蕉面包我有個很棒的做法
The trick is in... in fresh ground...I'll email it to you.
秘訣在...我發(fā)電郵告訴你好了
All right, I'm warm.Ready to kick it up a notch? Let's go.
好了， 我熱好身了，準備好加快速度嗎？開始吧
That's enough cardio for me.
我的有氧運動做夠了
I'm just... gonna stretch out before I hit the weights.You okay?
在我去練舉重前我先拉拉筋。你沒事吧
Call someone!Good day, Mrs. Davis.
快叫人來！早上好， 戴維斯夫人
This is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali from the astrophysics department.
我是拉杰什?庫薩帕里博士來自天體物理學部門
Don't be alarmed, I'm not really in space.
別緊張，我不是真的在外太空
Anyhoo...I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about myself,
總之我想借此機會向您介紹下我自己
so sit back, relax and enjoy the following 90minute video.Oh, come on.
所以坐好， 放松， 好好看接來下這90分鐘的影片。不是吧
Born in New Delhi,the third son of an itinerant gynecologist,
我出生于新德里是一名婦科醫(yī)生的第三個兒子
I showed early signs of genius.
我自幼聰穎， 有"神童"之稱
At the age of five, I discovered a celestial object which later turned out to be the moon.
在五歲的時候， 我發(fā)現(xiàn)一個天體后來發(fā)現(xiàn)原來是"月亮"
Mrs. Davis? Mrs. Davis? Mrs. Davis?
戴維斯夫人，？ 戴維斯夫人？戴維斯夫人？
God, they're everywhere. Come in.Dr. Cooper, how can I help you?
天啊， 他們真是無所不在，進來吧，庫珀博士， 你有何事
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