人生不設(shè)限·沒手沒腳不可怕

你可能很清楚自己的人生目標(biāo)，對(duì)生命的各種可能性懷著無窮希望，對(duì)未來充滿信心，懂得欣賞自己的價(jià)值，甚至具備良好的態(tài)度，但恐懼卻可能拉住你，讓你無法實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想。有許多障礙比沒手沒腳更嚴(yán)重——恐懼尤其會(huì)削弱人的力量。如果恐懼遏制了你的每個(gè)決定，你就無法將感受到的祝福充分表現(xiàn)出來，過一個(gè)圓滿的人生。

You may have a strong sense of purpose, great hope for the possibilities in your life, faith in your future, an appreciation for your own value, and even a great attitude, but fear can hold you back from achieving your dreams. There are many handicaps worse than having no arms and no legs—fear can be especially debilitating. You cannot live a fulfilling life that fully expresses your blessings if fear controls your every decision.

恐懼會(huì)拖住你，讓你無法成為你想變成的那個(gè)人，但恐懼只是一種情緒、一種感覺，它不是真實(shí)的!你是不是常常害怕某件事——看牙醫(yī)、面試、手術(shù)或考試，結(jié)果真正做了之后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)其實(shí)沒有你想的那么可怕。

Fear will hold you back and keep you from being who you want to be. But fear is just a mood, a feeling—it's not real! How often have you feared something—a trip to the dentist, a job interview, an operation, or a test in school—only to discover that the actual experience was not nearly as bad as you had imagined?

小學(xué)一年級(jí)跟恰吉打架那一次，我以為自己一定會(huì)被打得慘兮兮，結(jié)果呢?大人經(jīng)?；叵牒⑻釙r(shí)代的恐懼，夜里會(huì)害怕，因?yàn)樗麄儼言诖斑厰[動(dòng)的樹枝想象成要吃掉他們的怪獸。

I thought I would get creamed in my first-grade fi ght with Chucky-boy, but look how that turned out! All too often adults revert back to childish fears. They go back to acting like kids frightened at night because they imagine that the tree limb scraping the bedroom window is actually a monster trying to eat them up.

我看過恐懼讓一個(gè)人變得動(dòng)彈不得——我指的不是對(duì)恐怖電影或夜半鬼怪的恐懼。

I've seen fear absolutely paralyze otherwise normal people. I'm not referring to scary movie fears or childhood fears of bumps in the night.

許多人因?yàn)楹ε率?、犯錯(cuò)、作出承諾，甚至害怕成功，而失去行動(dòng)能力。恐懼會(huì)隔三岔五地敲門拜訪，你不必讓它們進(jìn)來：你請(qǐng)它們走自己的路，然后，你走你的。你有這個(gè)選擇權(quán)利。

So many people are handicapped by fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of making a commitment, even fear of success. It's inevitable that fears will come knocking on your door. You don't have to let them in. You send them on their way, and then go on yours. You have that choice.

心理學(xué)家說大部分的恐懼是學(xué)習(xí)而來的。我們天生只有兩種本能的恐懼：一個(gè)是害怕巨大聲響，一個(gè)是害怕掉落。小學(xué)一年級(jí)時(shí)，我的恐懼是怕被恰吉扁，但我克服了。那時(shí)我決定不要等到覺得自己勇敢——我就是表現(xiàn)得勇敢，最終，我的確是勇敢的!

Psychologists say most fears are learned. We are born with only two instinctive fears: fear of loud noises and fear of being dropped. I had a fear of being mauled by Chucky back in the first grade, but I got over it. I decided that I wasn't going to wait until I felt brave—I just acted brave, and in the end I was brave!

即使長(zhǎng)大成人，我們還是會(huì)創(chuàng)造一些不合現(xiàn)實(shí)的可怕幻想，這就是為什么常有人說恐懼(fear)是“似乎為真的假證據(jù)”(false evidence appearing real)。我們太把注意力放在自己的恐懼上，以至于認(rèn)為它們都是真的。結(jié)果，我們就被恐懼控制住了。

Even as adults we create fearful fantasies that simply don't match up to reality. This explains why fear is often described as "False Evidence Appearing Real." We become so focused on our fears that they become real to us—and as a result, we let them control us.

很難想象邁克爾·喬丹這樣高大又成功的人也會(huì)有害怕的時(shí)候，但他在進(jìn)入NBA名人堂的典禮上，公開談到他如何利用恐懼驅(qū)動(dòng)自己，成為更優(yōu)秀的運(yùn)動(dòng)員。他在演講結(jié)束時(shí)說道：“或許有一天你會(huì)看到50歲的我在場(chǎng)上打球。噢，不要笑，永遠(yuǎn)別說不可能，因?yàn)橄拗凭拖窨謶?，常常只是幻覺。”

It's hard to imagine someone as big and successful as Michael Jordan being afraid. Yet during his induction into the NBA Hall of Fame, Jordan talked openly about how he often used his fears to drive himself to be a better athlete. At the conclusion of his speech, he said, "One day you might look up and see me playing the game at fifty. Oh, don't laugh, don't laugh. Never say never. Because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion."

喬丹是籃球高手，不見得是人生導(dǎo)師，但他所言極是。請(qǐng)遵循喬丹守則，認(rèn)清恐懼并不是真實(shí)的，然后超越它們，或是好好利用。要對(duì)付最深的恐懼——無論是害怕搭飛機(jī)、害怕失敗，或是害怕跟人有深入的關(guān)系，關(guān)鍵是必須認(rèn)知到恐懼并非真實(shí)，它是一種情緒，而你可以控制要如何回應(yīng)你的情緒。

Jordan may have been a better basketball player than life coach, but he had a point. Follow the Jordan rules; recognize that fears are not real and soar past them, or put them to use. The key to dealing with your worst fears, whether it is fear of flying, fear of failing, or fear of relationships, is to recognize that the fear is not real. It is an emotion, and you can control your response to your emotions.

演說生涯早期，我就必須學(xué)會(huì)這門功課。那時(shí)我非常害怕、緊張，不知道聽眾對(duì)我所講的內(nèi)容會(huì)有什么反應(yīng)，甚至不確定他們到底有沒有在聽。幸好，我第一場(chǎng)演講的對(duì)象是同校的學(xué)生，他們本來就認(rèn)識(shí)我，大家也相處得很好。慢慢地，我開始到人數(shù)比較多的青年團(tuán)體和教會(huì)演講，聽眾里面只有少數(shù)幾個(gè)是熟人，而我也逐漸克服了緊張和恐懼。

I had to learn this lesson early in my speaking career. I was very fearful and nervous. I did not know how people would respond to what I had to say. I wasn't sure they'd even listen to me. Fortunately, my first speaking engagements were to my fellow students. They knew me, and we were comfortable with each other. Over time I began speaking to larger youth groups and churches with only a few friends sprinkled into the crowd. Gradually I overcame my nervousness and fears.

現(xiàn)在到幾千人、幾萬人的場(chǎng)合演講，還是會(huì)讓我害怕。我深入中國的偏遠(yuǎn)地區(qū)、南美洲、非洲，或是世界的其他角落，而我實(shí)在不知道那里的人會(huì)不會(huì)接受我。我怕我講的笑話在人家的文化里有截然不同的含義，因而冒犯到當(dāng)?shù)厝耍依眠@種恐懼提醒自己事前要跟翻譯及主辦單位順過一遍演講內(nèi)容，以免到時(shí)在臺(tái)上發(fā)窘。

I still experience fear when I am called to speak to many thousands of people, sometimes tens and hundreds of thousands. I go into remote areas of China, South America, Africa, and other parts of the world where I have no idea how people will receive me. I'm afraid I'll tell a joke that means something entirely different in their culture and they'll take offense. I use that fear to remind myself to always run my speeches by my interpreters and hosts before I risk embarrassment.

我學(xué)會(huì)把恐懼當(dāng)作能量來源，以及幫助自己進(jìn)行準(zhǔn)備工作的工具。如果我怕演講時(shí)會(huì)忘了或搞錯(cuò)什么，這樣的恐懼會(huì)讓我專心地重新檢查演講內(nèi)容，專心練習(xí)。

I've learned to welcome my fear as a source of energy and as a tool to focus my preparations. If I'm afraid of forgetting my speech or messing something up, it helps me concentrate on reviewing and practicing my presentation.

許多恐懼都可以這樣運(yùn)用。例如，因?yàn)楹ε萝嚨準(zhǔn)軅?，你?huì)系上安全帶;因?yàn)楹ε赂忻?，你就?huì)勤于洗手、吃維生素。這些都是好的恐懼。

Many fears are useful in that way. For example, it is a good fear that motivates you to snap on the seat belt because you don't want to be injured in a car accident. If your fear of catching a cold or a flu inspires you to wash your hands and take vitamins, that's good too.

不過，我們經(jīng)常任由學(xué)習(xí)得來的恐懼泛濫，例如有些人擔(dān)心會(huì)感冒，采取的預(yù)防措施竟然是把自己鎖在家里，足不出戶。如果恐懼讓我們無法實(shí)現(xiàn)想做的事，無法做自己想做的人，這樣的恐懼就不合理了。

Too often, though, we allow our learned fears to run amok. Instead of simply taking precautions to avoid catching a flu or cold, some people take it to an extreme by locking themselves in their homes and refusing to go outdoors. When our fears keep us from doing all we can do or from being all we can be, they are not reasonable.